A/N: Okay, so now that their broken up we can really get started! I'm gonna be going back and forth from Amber and Embry. It's gonna be awesome! I'm so excited to bring in some new characters!

Chapter 22: Pushing my buttons

Embry's POV

I couldn't stick around to listen to Amber crying. My stomach clenched and my throat tightened. I felt so sick—physically sick to my stomach. What kind of monster was I? Amber was beautiful and funny and smart…ish. She was nice and compassionate and so generous. She was this amazing, giving person who loved her sister and mother more than anyone in this world. She was the ultimate girl next door with eyes that shimmered and a laugh that could make anyone join in. I was lucky enough to have her in love with me. And I dumped her.

I sped to my house and tried to fight back my own tears. I didn't know she'd be this hurt. I had no idea she cared for me that much. I was always sure that in our relationship, I was the one who was more in love. I never knew…

I had to fight not to turn back. Flashes of Amber's eyes and her smile, her soft skin and lips on mine, the love that always radiated between us burning hot like the sun. Amber.

The reason why I had done all this came to mind. It was another woman. More beautiful, funnier and makes me feel like I can jump over tall buildings. Laurence. She was why I was doing this. She was why I mercilessly broke Amber's heart. I felt like such a jerk for thinking that she was worth it.

I prayed that Amber was going to get better. Of course, I knew she'd get better very fast. She'd probably mope over me for a few hours, maybe a day or two. She wasn't the kind a girl to grieve over anything. She was tough. Today was just a…an exception. She panicked. She would never throw herself at someone like that.

I thought back to how she tried to seduce me, to make me reconsider by offering sex. Any other day, I would have given in, it wasn't that I wasn't tempted but having her that close, Laurence's face had popped in my head. I couldn't imagine hurting her too.

I was on edge, unsuccessfully holding back sobs. I patted my jeans with one hand looking for my cell phone. I got frustrated when I couldn't find it. I remembered the last time I saw it.; when I had phased for Laurence. I hadn't picked up any of my stuff.

I parked in front of my house and started to sob. I figured it was time to get it out of my system.

Amber wasn't mine anymore and she hated me now. I might never see her again. The face I had grown so fond of didn't want anything to do with me, and for good reason. I was a jerk, a tool, a waste of space. I never deserved her, not from the beginning and not even now. I never should have tried to get with her in the first place.

I wiped my eyes and nose with my sleeve and got out of my car. I looked around me like a guilty criminal, afraid to have been caught in one of the most unwholesome things a man could ever do: cry—bawl in my case. I walked to my front porch and opened my door.

"Where have you been?" My mom demanded in a calm yet authorised voice.

I had my back turned to her, trying to close the door without slamming it. I was getting more and more upset. I was really at my limit. "Out, ma." I said through clenched teeth.

"No, that is not the excuse you're giving me. I want a real explanation young man." She started tapping her foot on the floor.

I turn around slowly, keeping my face emotionless and hard. I didn't want to glare at my mother but all this sorrow and guilt was turning into hatred—self hatred, hate for the world and everyone in it. "I was at Amber's."

Her frown deepened, "Bull shit, Embry, where have you been for the last week?"

I clenched my fist and my jaw tightened. We were all upset here and I understood that I had gone over the limit of misbehaving but swearing wasn't appropriate nor appreciated. It wasn't the swearing itself but the person doing the cursing and in the context it was meant. My mother was swearing at me, her son, out of frustration and anger. She was the adult here therefore she had to calm the hell down.

"Sorry," I mumbled and started towards my room.

"No way in hell you're getting away that easy." She grabbed my wrist and I yanked away and turned to face her, "You live under my roof and I don't care if you 19, 21 or freaking 35! You do not leave for a week without telling me and you do not walk away when I ask you a question. Got it?"

"Duly noted." I rolled my eyes. I was 19, she could barely tell me what to do.

"Are you crazy?" she shouted, "We're you off doing drugs or something, because you've clearly lost your mind! I am so disappointed in you. I freaking slave over everything that involves you and this is how you repay me? Disappearing for days then lying and saying you're off with your pretty little girlfriend?"

"Amber and I broke up!" I barked.

My mother's eyes widened when I yelled. It wasn't from fear or shock, just disbelief, "I'm not surprised. If this is how you treat your family than Amber can do better."

"I know she could do better mom! So just shut up!"

My mother's jaw dropped, "No! I will not shut up because I am your mother and you live in my house therefore you are the one who will shut up!"

"Then I'm moving out!" I shouted, having enough of her. I hated that she was treating me like a kid. Couldn't she just leave me alone? She could have at least waited till I calmed down, asked me about my day and then act like a complete pain in my ass.

She scoffed, "Ha, I'm sure you are. You don't have a job, Embry." She was yelling in my face, pushing all the right buttons to piss me off more than humanly possible.

"I'll find one." I turned around and took long strides down the hall to get to my room.

My mother didn't grab me this time; she just followed me into my room.

I threw myself on my bed and groaned into my pillow. "I got to get out of here!" I shouted into the pillow. What I really meant was I have to get to Laurence. Being away from her was physically exhaustion. I wanted to be far away from all of this; my screaming mother, my heartbroken ex-girlfriend and be close to Laurence, as close as possible.

"News flash Embry, you were fired . How long did it take you to even get that job? I swear. You are proving yourself to be irresponsible, disrespectful and good for nothing. The worst type of person."

I lifted my head out of my pillow so my mouth would be clear, "Can you make your conclusion please?"

"I can't conclude to anything because you're over eighteen. All I can say is that I am so pissed that I could scream and you've really disappointed me, Embry. You break my heart." Her voice broke at her last sentence and I heard her start leaving my room.

As mad as I was, I didn't want to make my mom cry. I sighed and rolled onto my back, "Ma,"

"What?" she sounded annoyed but I could see her eyes fill with tears.

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have ran off like that. It was wrong and I'm sorry." That wasn't completely untrue. I wasn't sorry for going to California and meeting Laurence but I was sorry for hurting my mom by leaving. I never meant to hurt her.

"Yeah, well, don't do it again." She sniffled and turned to leave.

"Mom, please."

She sighed.

I sat up, "I feel like a jerk now."

She smiled, though it looked more like a grimace. Why was I hurting the women I loved the most in the world today? Was this some kind of punishment? I hoped Laurence wasn't too upset with me. "You're acting like a jerk." She mumbled.

"I didn't mean to upset you mom. You know I love you, right?"

My mother walked over to my bed and sat down. She smoothed my hair, "I'm so happy you're okay." She murmured.

I sighed and rested my cheek in her hand. I didn't speak right away, I was enjoying this moment of silence with my mom. I listened to her heart beat and it reminded me of the times when I would have bad dreams and sleep in my mom's bed and after she'd fallen asleep and I'd be scared again, I'd pay close attention to her heart beat and the warmth of her body, knowing that with her this close, no one could hurt me. I was safe with her.

"Did you mean that?" my mom finally asked, breaking the silence.

I looked up at her, confused, not understanding why she looked so sad. Her face was flushed and her tears were rolling down her chin, "Do you really want to move out?"

I sat up and sighed again. I looked down at my hand, not able to bear the tears I had caused her to shed. "It's not that I want to move out it's just…I have to get out of here." It wasn't completely false but how could I possibly explain to her that I wanted to move to another state to be with a girl I'd met a few days ago, a girl who isn't my girlfriend whom she loved. Not to mention the fact my mom had no idea about the wolf business. I was going to tell her last year but then I felt like it was a little random. Hey mom, about a year and a half ago, I became a werewolf. What was the point?

I guess situations like these were the point. If she knew then it would be so much easier to explain.

"What did I do wrong?" She whispered.

"Nothing, mom, I just…I can't stay here anymore. I have to be somewhere else; somewhere where the sun shines and everyday feels better then the last." I have to be where Laurence is. Was my conclusion.

"You don't have a job." She repeated, this time in a softer tone. She wasn't trying to bring me down or even remind me. She was saying it to herself because she knew that it wouldn't stop me.

"I'll figure that one out but I really got to go, mom…I mean the whole Amber thing…"

"I didn't mean what I said earlier. It's her loss, she missed out."

"No mom, it's not what you think, I can't…we just didn't work out."

"So you're running away?"

"No, I'm—"

"It's okay, Embry," she sighed and wiped away her tears. She smiled but her eyes remained sad, "You do whatever you feel is right and I'll support you. If you feel like you have to get out…then I want you to go. This is the hardest part of parenthood, you know? When you guys finally leave the nest and start making your own decisions." More tears streamed down her face but it didn't falter her loving gaze.

I hugged her and she held me tight, "I love you, mom."

"I love you too, Embry. And thanks for telling me that you were leaving instead of just...leaving."

I chuckled.

"My son; the idiot."

'My mom, the—", She pulled away to glare at me. I bit my tongue not wanting to get slapped. I grinned sheepishly, "Nothing."