Chapter 29: Life without my sister

Amber's POV

My mother was the person to tell me about the end of my life. She was sitting at the dining table with a blank expression on her face and the phone in front of her like she was expecting an important phone call. Her hands that were only a few inches from the telephone were trembling. Her cheeks were flushed and her eye lashes were wet. She barely looked at me when I came upstairs.

I was always very close to my mom. She had me when she was so young; I had always been like her best friend. I noticed right away that something was terribly wrong and I wondered how long it had been going on. Ever since the break up, I was kind of dead to the world. In other words, I hadn't really spoken to my mom since the break-up.

My mother asked me to sit down.

My heart was thudding in my chest and I could barely breathe past the lump in my throat. I sat on the chair closest to her and put my hands on hers. "Mommy?" I whispered.

She looked at me. She seemed so lost and apologetic. Oh my God, what did she do? Was all I could ask myself, because she seemed sorry, like she had done something wrong. Once she told me what was on her mind, I didn't believe it at first and thought she was kidding.

Silver hadn't come home the night before, which was out of character for her. She never stayed out passed curfew and always called if she would. She was the perfect daughter and the fact that she wasn't home the day after the party wasn't normal.

I wished I could tell myself that she was coming back soon, that she was probably just out doing something bad like robbing a bank or doing drugs or something. But I knew Silver wasn't anything like that, even if she had robbed a bank or gotten high, she would've came home before midnight so we wouldn't worry about her.

It's funny how my perspective changed at that very instant. Only a few hours earlier, my biggest issue was that I would have to live without the man I truly loved and now, my sister was gone. I forgot all about Embry and all my thoughts revolved around my sister. I couldn't even wrap my head around the fact that she was in terrible danger. It didn't make sense. That was the type of thing that happened on TV or to other people's family on the news. But it wasn't supposed to happen to me.

I didn't hide my tears. I wasn't embarrassed to cry over the person I loved the most in the world. I sobbed for my sister, the one person I would actually endure torture and die for. I couldn't help remembering Sophie Fenton and Elisabeth Greenwood, the two girl that went missing a few months ago and they're bodies were found dead a few days after.

They were both friends of Silver's.

I cried that whole day and called all of Silver's friends. Even though my mom had called them all, I had to try. Maybe they were lying to my mom, maybe Silver didn't want my mom knowing where she was, maybe…

But she wasn't at any of their houses. We went to Melanie's, Naika's, Anne and Mellissa's, Seth's, Jacob's....

I caught a glimpse of the Cullen's. They weren't surprised to see me at all, but they were all in a rush and my presence seemed to frustrate them. I just asked if they had seen Silver or Seth and they replied that they hadn't seen her since the night before. I only spoke to them one by one. I would be speaking to Carlisle and he would be needed in the other room so they would send Alice and she would be needed so they'd leave me with Rosalie...

When I was left with Bella, I asked if Nahuel was there. Silver and he were best friends so I figured he would either know where she was or be very worried. Bella shook her head and apologized, then walked me to my mom's car.

I sobbed while driving home.

The cops found Silver's car, abandoned in a far away neighbourhood.

I became frantic and didn't go to school the next day. I recommenced crying myself to sleep with horrible cramps of my sister's well being. Again, I couldn't imagine what was worse than not knowing. With everyday that passed, I wondered when would be the day that I would hear of her death.

I had mostly nightmares.

Silver started passing on the news. At first, it was just local, but afterwards, people all around America and the world knew of Silver, and the Cullen's—bless their souls—offered a reward to whomever found our Silver.

One day, my phone rang. I always rushed for it in hopes that it was Silver telling us she was okay and coming home and was terribly sorry for making us worry. But it wasn't Silver. It was a girl frantically talking French and it took me a few second to realise that it was my best friend from Montreal, Cynthia.

She started crying when she found out that it was all true. She had seen Silver on the News and couldn't believe her eyes. Cynthia was in Forks the very next day, crying with me and put up flyers for a missing girl.

I missed allot of school but school didn't miss me. People came over nearly every day for updates. There was nothing I could tell them. The Cullen's had disappeared and so had Seth and Nahuel.

I was surprised to see Andy come over with so much sympathy in his eyes.

"Hey," I said. Cynthia was in the shower and my mom was talking to the cops on the phone in her bedroom.

"I heard about your sister and Amber, I'm so sorry."

Every time someone new mentioned Silver, it hurt more than the last. I bursted into tears at the door way and Andy shyly hugged me with his bony body.

"There's nothing worse than not knowing." I sobbed.

"I know, I know." He agreed flatting my hair and hugging me tighter.

Andy sat with me and Cynthia for a few hours. I asked him to talk about his brother so I wouldn't have to think about the aching in my heart. I thought I knew what a broken heart was, but I didn't. I kept asking myself what was the pain I was feeling. I thought I had endured a broken heart with Embry, and maybe I had. When things break, they could be fixed and work like before, and the broken part, it'll be nothing but a dark memory in your past.

If Embry had broken my heart, what was happening to me now? The pain had multiplied. Living without Embry was hard but living without my sister, it was unbearable. I wanted to die. I wanted to be killed any gruesome way just so I could stop hurting like this.

Maybe my heart was gone. Perhaps Silver was my heart and now it was gone and that way, I couldn't survive. But why did it hurt if it was gone? I could still feel it beating and that was wrong. I didn't want my heart to beat. I wanted my sister back. I wanted to know whether she was dead or alive. I wanted to know if she was kidnapped or ran away. I wanted to know if she was being mistreated and tortured. I just wanted to know.

Andy was the only person who truly understood what I was going through. He had lost his brother to an illness he knew pretty much nothing about. He didn't know if his brother was suffering or not. He just knew that he was losing him.

As much as I enjoyed Andy's company, Cynthia and I both knew that we weren't that fun to be around. Cynthia and I were like a tricycle missing its front wheel. We walked him to the front door and he gave us both a hug.

"Silver's going to be back. She's fine." He looked directly into my eyes when he said this.

I stared back, he sounded so genuine and I wanted to believe him so badly but before I could decipher if he really meant it, he blushed and looked away.

Every day was just as hard as the last. I watched as my mom slowly deteriorated into a zombie who did nothing but cry all day and there was nothing I could do because I was dying on the inside too. Every time I looked up there was a family portrait of the three of us and I kept wishing Silver would come back.

I didn't think back at Andy's words. He didn't know anymore than I did. It was excruciating. The clock kept ticking, the phone never rang and with every second that passed, I asked myself Is she dead now?

When things like this happen, the loved ones never come back. But I couldn't admit it completely to myself. Maybe Silver being dead wouldn't be such a bad thing, at least that way she wouldn't be hurt, but the thought made me want to kill myself.

Cynthia only stayed with us for a week. It was her departure that made me realize that I hadn't been to school and my mom hadn't really eaten. So we both decided to leave the house. I endured school and she found a way to go to work.

Going to school was harder than I thought because I had to get out of bed by myself, I had the bathroom to myself and it took less time to get ready since I didn't have to fight Silver for the mirror. The hardest part was driving Silver's car to school. It wasn't because of my fear of getting in a car accident—a car accident wouldn't have been that bad—it was the thought of it being the last place Silver had been, it was the fact that I was driving it without her.

I blamed myself for this.

Maybe if I had gone to the party with Silver, she would still be here. Or perhaps, I would have been taken with her, but at least that way, I would have known how she was. Mom would have been home alone though…

There was no winning this.

It didn't get easier as everyday passed. There wasn't a night where I didn't have a nightmare. There wasn't a day that I forgot Silver wasn't here. There wasn't a morning I woke up and thought Okay, so my sister is missing. Sucks. Every day was as gut wrenching as the last.

After two weeks, I was convinced she was dead, and it killed me. When Silver had died, I had died, my mom had died. My life was dead. I didn't talk to anyone other than my mother and Andy because no one else understood. People would apologize and say they couldn't imagine what it felt like to be me. I didn't want their sympathy, I wanted my sister, and if they didn't have that to offer, they shouldn't talk to me.

When we received a phone call from Edward Cullen, I was sceptical when he said he'd found my sister and she was fine. He hadn't let my mom talk to her, he just told my mother and I to go to the airport at Port Angeles the next morning.

My mom immediately called the chief of police who rounded up his team, fiancé and met us at the airport.

My mom and I were waiting at the airport with no hope in our heart. We watched as people met up with friends and family and I couldn't help crying. I don't know what we were waiting for in this crowd of strangers.

Sue was tearing up as well, anxiously waiting. She seemed allot more sure that we wouldn't be disappointed.

"Do you think she'll be here?" I whispered to my mom.

"I don't know. I keep praying that she'll come and I hope God's been listening." She replied.

I sighed. That didn't help me any. I didn't believe her prayers would do us much good.

"Mommy!" shrieked a voice that, even after all these days of its absence, I recognized automatically.

My hopes were officially up and my heart was pumping with adrenaline.

We searched through the crowd and my heart thudded and raced at full speed when I saw her. I didn't care about making a scene. "Silver!" we cried and started running at full speed. From afar, she hadn't changed much, her hair was still shinny and blond, her lips were still pink, her skin seemed darker though but I didn't care. It was Silver.

I felt no pain when I ran into her and wrapped my arms around her, squeezing Silver with all my might. Mother was shortly behind me, hugging us both and sobbing in choir.

I couldn't see anything or anybody else. I didn't notice Seth right beside us or Edward or Charlie hovering behind us with a mind full questions. Curiosity was the last thing on my mind. Just yesterday, I thought Silver was dead and now, I was holding her in my arm and she hadn't changed a bit.

I could've died from the relief. I couldn't believe it. I needed someone to pinch me because this felt like a dream.

My mom looked her up and down, "You're well fed." My mom commented but couldn't help her sniffling.

Silver looked our mom up and down and frowned, "You're not."

"You know I can't eat when I'm stressed."

She sighed, "I'm sorry that you were stressed."

I couldn't believe she was actually standing here. She was talking to us. She was here! "Where the hell were you?" I tried to yell but my voice came out as a loud whimper, "I was so scared, I thought you were..." I didn't want to think back at my dark thoughts. I had been so negative, "I love you so much, Silver." I hugged her again.

"Love you, Amber."

"Where were you, Silli?" mom repeated.

"I was...kidnapped mom." She answered hesitantly, as if she wasn't sure what to say.

"Kidnapped?! By who?" My mom bursted.

Silver fidgeted under her gaze and lightened up when she saw the officer.

Charlie smiled sheepishly, "Hey, kid,"

"Hey Charlie, hey Sue,"

Silver was eager to change the subject. She asked them about the wedding that did not happen and other stuff. I could tell she really didn't want to talk about it and Seth recognized that too by telling them she was tired and wanted to get home.

Silver came back with luggage—actual suitcases—and a white shirt that she clutched tightly in her fist as if it was her security blanket. It was the morning and Silver seemed completely exhausted.

My mom and I followed her to her bedroom and she asked for a minute alone with Seth which we gave. I wouldn't be able to deny her what she wanted for a long time. I had to nurse my heart back to health.

My mom and I were both surprised to hear Silver yelling at Seth so briefly after her return. I popped my head in to intervene. Silver smiled at me and told me she was arguing with Seth. I nodded and gave them their privacy. When Seth left, Silver needed me. She sobbed in my arms. I had so much building up that I cried too. Mom came and cried with us.

That night, we watch Silver sleep. She passed out so quickly, even with us staring at her. "She looks a little tan…" I muttered.

"She looks perfect." Was my mother's reply.

"She seems so tired, what do you think it is?"

"I don't know." My mom shrugged. Neither of us took our eyes off our sleeping angel.

"Jet lag?"

"I hope not."

I sighed.

Silver's little friends came over and waited for her to wake up. When she came up at 6 in the afternoon, I was almost sure that it was jet lag. She spoke to her friends who filled our house. At first it was only four of them, then eventually our house was full of teenagers—my and Silver's friends.

The "party" didn't last long, though. The cops had to crash our get together and bombard Silver with questions. Silver couldn't dodge the interrogation for very long. All our friends had left and Charlie paid close attention to Silver.

When he asked who kidnapped her, she reluctantly answered Nahuel.

I was taken aback and had to muffle a gasp. I trusted Nahuel with Silver. Had I been blind or just stupid? I always knew Nahuel had a small—well, huge—crush on my sister but I thought it was a 'I'd give my all for you' kind of crush not a 'I want to wear a jacket out of your skin and smell your hair' kind of crush.

He showered her with several questions and Silver tensed up. When asked where she was taken she had a lot of difficulty keeping her eyes on him.

"I don't know." She shrugged. "I was drugged then taken to another place. Somewhere far."

He asked her more questions and Silver answered them all. When his lady partner put in her two cents and asked the question we were all thinking; had Nahuel abused her physically or sexually?

Silver seemed extremely insulted and shouted her denial. Officer Sharron asked if she wanted to speak privately and Silver refused. "Look, I don't want to talk about this anymore. Nahuel kidnapped me and Seth found me. The end. There's nothing else to the story. I'm of no use to you anymore."

They left it at that and were about to leave our house. The female cop told Silver she had a doctor's appointment and that angered Silver.

I tried soothing my sister by telling her I'd go with her but it didn't work. I didn't let her bail though, because I had a feeling there was something Silver wasn't telling us. Talking about it clearly upset her so I wasn't going to ask. The past didn't matter. Silver was here now.