Valentine's Day: Part 2.
Amber sat in her class paying close attention to the teacher. It was the before last term and she knew that there was no time for funny business when it came to school. She had to focus. She wasn't going to make a silly thing like Valentine's Day bother her.
There was a knock at the classroom door and the teacher let in two students. But these weren't regular students, they were the worst part of Valentine's day.
The roses.
A girl and a boy came in the class. The girl was wearing a shiny red dress that clung to her shape and broke several dress code violations and the guy was wearing a black suit with a pink tie. He carried a guitar and played softly while the girl called out names and danced to the students who had received a rose.
Amber focused on her work and ignored the squealing of the eager girls who got roses from their crushes and boyfriends.
She jumped when the Rose giver called her name.
"Huh? What?" She looked up from her sheet of paper. Her heart was racing from the unwanted attention she was getting.
"One, two…three roses for you!" she skipped over to Amber and dropped the three red roses on her desk. Each of them had an envelope tied to them with a thin, yellow ribbon.
Amber sighed. She hoped this wouldn't happen. She was sure that these roses were from the jerks who'd pounced o a broken hearted girl. None of these guys cared about her. She didn't even want to look at them.
Her curiosity got the best of her eventually. When the Roses left and the other kids were still psyched over the roses, Amber couldn't help glancing down at her three roses. She never liked flowers. To her, they were overly cliché and smelly.
One of the roses was from Jason. She rolled her eyes. He was the worst of them all. He tried way too hard. She didn't even bother glancing at his letter. She would thank him for the rose out of courtesy and nothing else.
The second one was from Christina. Amber stifled a giggle and read the witty sentence Christina had written for her.
Happy Valentine's Day. Boys are stupid anyways.
She stifled another giggle.
"Who sent you Roses?" Julie asked. Her black hair fell over her shoulder as she tried to stick her pointy nose in Amber business.
"I'm looking." Amber tried not to hiss but she didn't really like Julie. She ignored her peering over her shoulder as she took the third rose.
Her first reaction was shock when she saw who it was from. The flood of warmth came afterwards and she couldn't help but smile. Finally. A boy who cared. A boy who didn't want to date her. This boy just wanted to be genuinely nice.
Andy.
His letter had made her entire day. He didn't say much. He just wrote that he thought she was cool and felt lucky to have her as a friend. He also added the traditional 'Happy Valentine's Day' and 'Love, Andy'.
He was such a sweet kid. She suddenly couldn't wait for the bell to ring so she could thank him for his kind gesture. He didn't have to. She hadn't gotten him a rose. Maybe she should have. It would have made sense. They spent so much time together lately it would only be the decent thing to do to spend 3 bucks on a rose for him. Andy was worth that much. That she was sure of.
She pushed the two other roses to the end of her desk and played with the rose Andy had sent her. She held it to her nose and inhaled the scent. It wasn't that bad. Maybe she hated flowers because no one had ever given her flowers. She twirled the flower between her index and thumb and thought of how nice Andy was and how lost she'd be without him.
When the bell rang, she picked up all her books and tossed the roses on top of them. She treated the third flower with care and hurried out of her class.
She had to see Andy, fast, and thank him for the rose.
"Hey Andy!" she shouted when she saw him packing his book in his locker.
He glanced up at her and smiled. He waved and waited for her to make her way through the crowd, "Hi Amber," he said in his normal, calm voice. "How was your class?"
"It was great. Thanks to you." She added a bit shyly. She didn't understand why she was all of a sudden nervous to speak to Andy. He was Andy. She was acting crazy. She cleared her throat and smiled him. "Thanks for the flower, Andy, it was my favourite."
"Your…favourite?" he cocked his head to the side. He seemed confused.
Amber nodded, "Yeah, Jordan got me one and I don't care about him. Christina got me one, too, but we were just kidding. But yours. Yours was special. So here." Amber took one of the roses—the one that wasn't her favourite—and offered it to Andy. She had ripped off the letters and ribbons from both flowers.
Andy blushed, "You don't have to give me that." He laughed nervously and turned to find something in his locker. If she didn't know better she'd think he was avoiding her gaze. That was so unlike him. He was always shy but not…distant.
"Well, I figured it would be appropriate since I was going to ask you to be my Valentine." Amber flushed.
Andy spun around, "Really?" he was suddenly enthusiastic and excited.
"Would I toy with you like that?" she grinned.
He shook his head, "Guess not."
"So I'll meet you at your car after school?" Amber guessed. It would be the first time she'd be without Silver but she was sure her sister wanted to be with her boyfriend on Valentine's Day of all days. She tried not to think of what they'd be doing alone though. That was just too gross for her to stomach.
"Okay." His voice cracked and he blushed deeper.
Amber laughed and rolled her eyes. Someone bumped her and she slammed into Andy. She turned to glared at her sister laughing and walking away with her Seth.
Silver held on to Seth's arm and buried her face in his arm. She gasped for air as she laughed herself pink.
"You shouldn't do that." Seth said, holding back his own booming laughter, "It's hard enough on him as it is."
Silver giggled, "He's going to have to grow a little more balls than that if he wants to get with a Masson." She looked over her shoulder and watched her sister with the boy she pitied. He was going to have to try a little harder than that. She wanted him to succeed and date her sister but Amber wasn't going to know he liked her if he was going to be so shy about it.
Amber must have been stupid because that boy was obviously in love with her. She wondered if Amber just pretended not to see it and hoped it would go away. Silver knew Andy wasn't the typical guy Amber used to date but he was cute and nice and sweeter than most of the guys at this school. Besides Seth of course
"Promise you won't be mad?" Seth asked, smiling sheepishly.
Silver automatically assumed the worst and her heart sank in her stomach. She couldn't even think straight. What kind of stupid thing had he done this time? She couldn't speak so she just nodded.
"I didn't really plan something for today." He admitted, "I'm not good at romance, you know that."
She sighed in relief, "Your super romantic." She disagreed.
"You think?" he beamed, "Because I think you deserve romance. You're the best girl ever, Sil. You deserve everything."
She rolled her eyes and hit him with the big teddy bear he'd gotten her. Apparently, the Roses made special deliveries. She'd named the big stuffed animal Seth. So she could think of her teddy bear when she wasn't with her teddy bear. "I don't deserve you, Seth, and you're plenty romantic. How about I just go to your place after school?"
He turned around and cupped her face to kiss her lips, "Sweet…and you coming over would be nice too."
She giggled and took his hand with her free one.
After school, Silver followed Seth in her car. Amber was going to get milkshakes with Andy but it wasn't a date. Hadn't she said that about her fist date with Embry? It wasn't technically a date back then either.
She tried not to think about him. Embry was old news. His name was rarely spoken at their house. When it was, there was no awkwardness. Silver couldn't hate him anymore. He'd tried to find her when Nahuel…
That she couldn't think of. She couldn't think of Nahuel and drive at the same time. She would drive into a tree if her mind went there. It might not have been by accident. Silver would never purposely hurt her car though.
She parked in front of Seth's house and followed him inside.
"You say I'm romantic but we're spending Valentine's Day at my house." He grumbled. Obviously wishing he'd thought of something more creative like snorkelling or sky diving.
"We're here. Alone. I couldn't have asked for a better Valentine's Day." Silver wrapped her arms around his neck and stretched onto her tip toes to reach his lips. Seth had to meet her halfway. She loved how he was so much taller than she was. She always wanted to date a really tall guy.
Seth locked her face to his and kissed her passionately. His hot lips felt amazing against hers. She gripped at his thick hair and pulled him closer. But there was no getting closer than they already were. Seth let his hands run down her body and Silver gasped when he lifted her and pulled her legs so she'd wrap them around him.
She felt her heart rate quicken and she clung tighter to him as he walked down the steps to his bedroom. She couldn't focus when he was this close. Seth set her on his bed and she didn't stop him when he took off his shirt. Most of her wanted this. He was so amazing and gorgeous and hers. She could do whatever she wanted with him. He didn't only have a gorgeous body, his face was the best thing in the world and his personality was out of this world. He was hardly real.
He lay next to her and pulled her face to his. When they kissed it was like she was exploding. He was burning her, but in a good way. Every touch was intense, she was ultra sensitive to his skin. He helped her out of her winter jacket and vest then pulled her to him.
"I want to have sex, Sil." He said
His words didn't exactly turn her off—nothing could do that—it just brought her closer to reality and she managed to think straight.
"Is that question?" she asked, pulling her face away. Silver was breathless but her gaze was focused.
Seth's face was suddenly dumb struck. His brain had shut off thinking mode and had gone to sex mode. It took him a while to use his head. "That…depends whether you want to or not." his tone was sceptical. He wasn't exactly sure what sentences would or would not get him in trouble.
"I can't." Silver pushed him off her a little harder and turned away to hide her tears. Her heart throbbed inside her chest. She crossed her arms and looked down. She abruptly felt the urge to cry her eyes out. She was very sad now.
She started to sob quietly.
Seth was baffled by her immediate change of mood. He rushed to her side of the bed and sat next to her, "Sil…I'm sorry. I—"
"It's only been a few weeks, Seth." She didn't look at him. She knew she looked crazy but it was true, it had only been a few weeks.
"I know, I—"
"You can't go without it for a few weeks? Not even for me?" she looked at him. She didn't want to fight with him but her anger was searing through her. They had promised they'd never fight. She tried to keep that in mind. But how dare he? She'd said she didn't want to be intimate for a while.
"I can, Silver. I love you." Seth panicked at her assumptions.
"I know you do. And you love sex."
"Well, yeah, you're kind of good at it." He nudged her with his elbow. He tried to make a joke but Silver glared at him and he shrunk away.
"Do you know why I can't do it?" She asked him, "Do you understand?" she ignored how hot her face felt. She wasn't anticipating the conversation but she knew it had to be done. She wasn't a virgin, that boat had sailed months ago, but she considered herself a widow in some ways. Sure, she'd never been married but still.
"Well, I know why . It doesn't matter whether I know why or not." He shrugged, embarrassed.
Silver didn't want to make him feel bad but she had that right. He'd put her through way worse than just embarrassment. He'd put her through heart wrenching agony. She didn't hold him against it but it was the truth, "I loved him." She said, trying to make her voice sound stronger than she felt, "Nahuel was…I loved him. And when I was over there, we were a couple, Seth. He was more than just my boyfriend." She closed her eyes, the pain had returned when she remembered her heaven in Argentina.
"I was your boyfriend first." He mumbled.
"I know. But you're not dead. He didn't kill you. He would never have—" She cut herself short. She didn't want to guilt trip Seth. She wanted him to understand, "Look at it this way. If you died"—she shuttered at the unbearable thought—"and I started dating someone else a few weeks later, how would that make me look? I'd look like a…a slut."
"You were my girlfriend first." Seth kept his eyes on his lap. "No one even knows about you guys. No one would think that."
"I'll think it." She whispered so low that less sensitive ears wouldn't have heard her. Silver didn't look at Seth who was suddenly studying her, "I do want to make love to you, Seth, but I'm afraid of what I'll think of myself afterwards. I can't let go of him yet. I just…" she shook her head frantically.
"I'm such a jerk. I should have known. I'm sorry, Silver. No more sex. I won't even touch you if that's what you want. Just don't feel bad."He begged, hesitating to touch her. His hand hovered over her shoulder than he laid it down on the bed.
Silver sighed, "Thanks."
They both sat very still, blushing and not speaking.
Silver took Seth's hand and the corner of his lips turned up.
Much to Amber's disappointment; they didn't sell milkshakes till spring time. Andy didn't mind buying them a meal at a small deli. Amber wasn't the type to turn down food. Ever.
It was only normal to go out for dinner with her Valentine. The fact that it might be a date never crossed her mind. She knew Andy wouldn't think of it as a date. Andy was the only guy who would know this wasn't a date.
She couldn't even imagine having the I'm-not-ready-to-date talk with Andy. She couldn't even think about it. It wasn't going to happen. Andy would never put her in that situation, and Andy didn't look at her that way.
They sat at a booth and ordered their food.
"I'm very glad that you're my Valentine." Amber said with a smile.
"Me too." Andy smile back at her.
It wasn't hard for them to be alone in a date-like environment. Amber was utterly comfortable and the more she spoke to Andy, the less shy he became. He asked her questions. Questions he'd always wanted to ask her but never got the chance. How was it in Canada? How was her childhood? Her parents? Everything.
Amber was flattered that he cared so much.
"How did it end with you and that other guy?" he asked.
Amber's eyes widened but his question didn't hurt her. She was just surprised that shy old Andy was brave enough to ask a question that had absolutely nothing to do with him, "Um…" she hesitated.
"You don't have to answer if you don't want to."
"No, I don't mind." She replied quickly, "We, um, we'd been dating for a long time—6 months actually—and the whole break ordeal was my fault." she nodded.
"How come? He pressed and tilted his head to the side.
Amber chewed on her lip. She wanted to talk to Andy like she would to any of her friends. "I…I…" she blushed and looked away from Andy's curious gaze. His brown eyes saw too much. She felt like he already knew what she'd done. She flushed, "I slept with him and I wasn't ready. I was a…virgin before him."
"He dated you for six months for…sex?" he looked disgusting.
"No!" she was appalled by the idea too. She'd never even thought of that. She didn't know why Embry left but she was positive that—once upon a time—he loved her. "It wasn't like that with Embry. It was my fault. I shouldn't have suggested…I was so stupid." Thinking about it gave her a head ache. Her eyes startied to sting at the thought of how she'd ruined everything.
Everything.
"Are you still…in love with him?"
Amber looked up with wide eyes again. Andy ceased to surprise her, "No! Of course not." She shook her head.
Andy was hesitant.
"I'm not. I'm over him, I'm just not over…it."
Andy didn't say anything.
"But, before Silver was kidnapped and everything, I used to go for walks to clear my mind. I would be walking in random directions and then I'd figure out that I was walking in direction of La Push." She looked down at the table, her throat constricting. She'd never told anyone that before and she felt vulnerable. "I guess I was subconsciously trying to go to him…but I'd always notice what I was doing and turn around.
Andy didn't speak.
That was probably best. Amber didn't know what he could say to make her feel less weak and pathetic. When she looked up at him, he didn't look like he was judging her at all. He looked worried, but who wouldn't be? She didn't feel frightened that he might be thinking how crazy and desperate she was.
Andy was speechless. He hadn't expected that much from her. He was surprise that she would confide into him like that. It upset him how scarred she was from this whole break-up thing. He knew none of this was as hard on him as it was on her. He didn't even care about the slight stinging her words had caused him.
She wasn't a virgin.
That didn't bother him as much as he thought it would. It was that she'd slept with him. He didn't deserve that from her. Did Embry—he hated to think his name—have any idea how lucky he was? And Amber thought he loved her. Did he even? Why wasn't he here then? Andy didn't want to undermine Amber but Embry was clearly a prick.
"Thanks." Amber murmured.
"Pardon?" he looked up at her face. Her cheeks were pink and her lips were curved into a small smile. It was kind of pained but she worked hard to keep it there.
"Thanks. For everything. Your awesome, Andy. I'm sorry I don't tell you how much I appreciate you more often." She reached her hand over the table as if to take his hand. He couldn't be sure what she meant so he didn't move his from under the booth, "You mean allot to me. You're the coolest guys in the whole school. I mean, I have guy friends, guys who want to be my 'friend"—she did air quotes—"and then there's you. You actually care. At least, you make me feel that way. You're a really good friend to me, Andy, and I love you. You listen to me and you never judge and you might not talk allot but…if you ever have a problem—with anything—I'll try to be like you. Just listen. And I'll give advice when you ask. You're a really good friend."
Andy smiled. It was nice to know that he meant so much to her. Maybe she cared for him as much as he cared for her.
She'd said she loved him.
Andy's heart fluttered and he knew his face was bright pink. He loved her too. He loved her so much. She was his reason to going to school every day. She was the coolest and funniest in town. She was always so bright and happy all the time. She was the most amazing person he'd ever know.
He felt a spark of hope for them. She could get over Embry and be happy with someone else. Amber had that potential. She was able to be happy. Maybe with him.
Then he remembered she had called him a good friend. She cherished their friendship. She loved his presence, as a friend. After what she'd been through, would she be able to endanger a friendship for something a bit stronger? He doubted she could do that.
Aw, Crap.