Thanks for the reviews. I would also like to thank MaxieMoose, author of Why Me? and Kismet, for all your helpful advice.
I don't own Vampire Academy, as if you didn't know.
Rose POV
I'm so happy things are back to normal now. Adrian and I stopped fighting and made up. I hate fighting with him, though we've been doing that more and more lately. Well, I can't think about that now. I have an early shift today guarding the perimeter of the Courts. I put my black and white guardian uniform on and head out the door. Just before I step over the threshold, I notice a vase of red roses sitting on the ground. I pick them up and read the little note attached. 'Little Dhampir, No other reason than to make you smile. Adrian.' I smother my face in the fragrant blooms and inhale deeply. And just as Adrian planned, I smile thinking how thoughtful he can be.
I go to the guardian head office to punch in and find out who I'm working with today, Guardian Conner. He used to work at the academy when I was there. I used to catch him staring at me, undressing me with his eyes. I thought that now that we were both equals, he would ask me out, but Adrian has all the guardians too aftraid to even think about it. Conner's really hot, light brown hair and blue eyes, nice muscles and a wonderful smile. He could definately be a good distraction and maybe help me get over Adrian. I think I'll have some fun and flirt with him today. Maybe he'll crack and ask me out. I so need some attention only a man can provide. I thought these sex hormones calmed down after the teen years, but mine have only gotten stronger.
I walk out to my post and see that he is already there. This is gonna be fun. I walk up to him with my man eating smile and look him up and down, checking him out in a way that he notices. "Looking good, Conner. Having a good morning?" After a few moments of checking me out as well, he lets his guardian mask slide away and gives me a smile in return.
"I am now, Hathaway." One of the things I like about Conner is that he will finally flirt back with me. It took a little coaxing, but if it's just the two of us around, he'll let loose and play my little game. "I thought the purpose of these uniforms was to make us less distracting, but you are anything but." he says checking me out again.
"I'm sorry, would you like me to go away so you can keep your eyes out for trouble?"
"You are trouble Hathaway." he says with a smirk.
"But worth it." I say with a smile as I turn around and start my duty, watching the area. I put a little more swing in my hips as I walk, for his enjoyment. Eventually, I'll ware him down.
After my shift I go to the gym to train. It helps me relax and keeps me in top form to help me guard Adrian better. If anything ever happened to him because I wasn't at my best, I would never forgive myself. When I walk in, I see Dimitri over at the punching bag. Man, he looks as sexy as ever. I always loved to just watch him fight, all his muscles flexing and stretching, glistening with sweat. Okay Rose, he's not yours anymore, stop thinking of him like that. I shake off the naughty thoughts running through my head and walk over to him. "Hey comrade. How's the nose feel this morning?" I still feel guilty about that, not that I tried to hurt him on purpose. At least we Dhampirs heal quickly and he doesn't have the bandage on anymore. He stops punching and looks over to me, subltly looking my body over. I still get tingles all over when he does that.
"Sore, but nothing I can't handle." He smiles at me and continues. "Don't worry Rose, I'll pay you back soon enough." he laughs. That'll never happen.
"Yeah, yeah. Sure you will. I'll even let you completely heal first before you try to get me back. Not that it will make much of a difference, I'll still kick you ass." I go to walk away to start my weight training when he reaches out and grabs my arm and pulls me back to him, real close. He leans down to my ear, his hot breath caressing my neck, causing my spine to tingle.
"I will get you back, Roza." he whispers. I turn my head to look at his face. I see love and longing reflecting in his deep brown eyes. My heart goes wild with him so close to me. I don't say anything, not that I could if I tried, but pull my arm out of his grip and keep walking. What the hell was that about? Does he want me back? But he's having a baby with Tasha. He can't have meant it that way. He must have been talking about the rematch. But the way he said it...Why is he doing this to me? Okay Rose, you just need to focus on your workout and forget about everything else. I put my earbuds in and start lifting weights. After that I find my new trainer and work with him for a couple hours. His name is Roger Danes and is teaching me Krav Maga, Israili fighting. With all this extra training the Queen has me learning, I'm going to be more lethal than ever.
After I'm done, I drag myself to the locker room to shower. I can already tell I'm going to be so sore tomorrow. I jump in the shower and let the hot water masage my muscles. Ahhh. That feels so much better. I get dressed and head out to go find Adrian and see how his first day with the committee went. Just as I walk out of the ladies locker room, someone grabs me and pulls me around the corner and presses me against the wall. Before I can say anything, a pair of strong lips are all over mine. Immediately I know it's Dimitri. His familiar scent and the taste of his warm mouth takes me back to that night, the night Viktor's lust charm had us all over each other. My mind is telling me to push him away, he belongs to someone else and he's not Adrian. But my poor neglected body has other ideas, and it's winning. My arms automatically reach up to the back of his neck and pull him closer to me as I eagerly deepen the kiss. I hear him moan as my tongue slips past his lips and begins to explore his mouth. My whole body is craving his touch as his hands grip my hips tightly and press them against him. His mouth moves away from mine and travels down to my neck. God, this feels so good. My hands start roaming all over his chest and shoulders feeling every contour of his hard muscles. I forgot how good he felt. His hands have moved under my shirt and travel up my back, leaving goosebumps in their wake. My body doesn't really care who is touching me this way, it just wants the attention. I realize that my breathing has become labored and my heart is about to beat out of my chest. "I love you so much Roza." he purrs in my ear. I suddenly feel like someone slapped me in the face. If he loved me, he never would have left me and hurt me the way he did.
My mind and body decide that it would be in my best interest now to cooperate and I manage to push him away. "Don't say that. You have no right to say that to me anymore." I growl, remembering what I went through when he left. "Don't kiss me again." I hiss.
"Don't kiss me back then." he retorts. Talk about deja vu.
"Why are you doing this? Are you trying to hurt me again?" I ask rhetorically. Like he would admit it if he was. "You're going to have a baby, with Tasha, remember?" I can see the pain in his eyes, but I can't focus on that right now.
"Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life. I need you back, Roza. You're the only one who gets me, who understands who I am. Tasha is wonderful, but she isn't you. She doesn't make me feel like you do. I love you, Roza. I always will." he pleads with such love and tenderness, I almost give in, but then Adrian pops into my mind. I know where my heart truely belongs, even though I can never show it. I sigh and take his face in my hands.
"Dimitri, I will always love you too, but only as a friend now. Your going to be a father. You need to focus on Tasha and really give her a chance. You two are forever connected with that baby." I take a step back away from him. "You need to get over me. It's hard, I should know, but it is possible." I turn and walk away, but not before I look over my shoulder one last time. "Good night Dimitri." I walk out of the gym. It breaks my heart, but I just can't go there anymore.
My mind then takes me back to where I was headed before Dimitri interupted me, Adrian. I go to the dry cleaners like I always do every Monday to pick up our clothes. Then I head to the Chinese restaurant and pick up our usual order. I get to his apartment and knock, but he doesn't answer. After many more minutes of pounding on the door, I get my keys out and let myself in. I look around, but Adrian isn't home. Hmm. I wonder where he is? This has been our normal routine for almost a year now, so I don't think he forgot. I put the food in the fridge and hang the clothes in his closet before I pull out my cell and try to reach him. It goes to voicemail. Okay, are we fighting again? I can't remember anymore. Maybe something happened to him. I start to get a panicky feeling in my gut not knowing where he is. I better look for him.
I run down the stairs instead of taking the elevator to save time. I walk along the sidewalk by the little shops, peeking in each one hoping to see him, but no luck. I stop on the sidewalk and thought that maybe he's still working, so I give Tasha a ring. "Hey Tasha, are you guys still working? I can't find Adrian." I ask her when she answers her phone.
"Hi Rose. No, we all left about an hour ago, He said he was going to stop by the gym to see you." The gym. Oh no, he must have seen Dimitri and I kissing. That's not good. I think I know where he is now, the bar. I thank Tasha and wish her good night and start walking to his favorite watering hole.
When I open the door and step inside, I see him sitting at the bar, downing a shot. He never drinks during the week anymore. He said just being around me helps him deal with the darkness created by using Spirit, so this drinking is drowning his sorrows. I pull out the stool next to him and sit down. I order a soda and turn to look at him. He looks so hurt as he slams the glass down after emptying it. "Adrian.."
"You don't have to say anything, Rose. If you want to get back together with Belikov, that's none of my business." he says not even looking at me. Well, he obviously didn't stay to hear the conversation after the brief make out session.
"There's nothing between Dimitri and me. We're just friends." I try to reason with him, but he just laughs.
"You forget I can see auras, Rose. I saw the lust and love beaming from you, even with the shadows. You can't fake that." he says as he downs another drink. Me and my stupid aura.
"Adrian, yes I wanted him to touch me and kiss me and whatever, but I stopped it. How long were you watching us? Did you bother to hear what I told him?" He just waves his hand to dismiss everything I just told him.
"I don't care what you said to him, I know what I saw." I don't say anything for a few minutes but stare at him hoping he will at least look at me. But he doesn't. God, he can be such a baby sometimes.
"You know, you can be the biggest ass in the entire world, you know that?" I yell at him as I'm starting to get pissed. He just smirks and looks over toward me but not meeting my gaze.
"So you've said. Now why don't you leave me alone and get back to your boyfriend." He orders himself another round of drinks. "Go!" he yells at me. I can feel the fury burning inside me. I take my soda and pour it over his head and slam the glass back down on the bar before I walk away. Why does he have to be so obstinate? He can make me so mad... I need to hit something right now. I head for the gym and make my way to the punching bags and go to town. After a few hours of punching and kicking all my anger out, I'm left with bloody knuckles. Shit. I stand there and look at my damaged hands and think about Adrian. Why do I let him push my buttons so easily? And why do I have to be in love with someone I can't be with? It seems to be a pattern for me. He's probably wasted by now. I should let him find his own way home, but if something happened to him, I wouldn't forgive myself. Damn it, why does he have this hold over me? I decide to be the bigger person and go to the bar to drag his butt to bed. I walk back in and see Sam cut him off and wave me over to take him home. I put his arm over my shoulder and make him lean his weight on me as I walk him out of the bar. Neither of us says anything to the other as I open his door and lead him to his bed.
"Do you need to pee before you sleep?" I ask. He nods so I walk him to the bathroom and wait outside the door. When he comes back out, he nearly falls on top of me, but with my quick reflexes, I catch him and put him to bed. He passes out as soon as his head hits the pillow. I remove his shoes and socks, take off his slacks and remove his button down shirt. I cover him with the blanket and stand there and look over his sleeping form. He looks so peaceful and cute when he's asleep, it's hard to stay mad at him. I wish we lived in a world where we could be together. I love him so much, it kills me to have to push him away all the time. I just want to unburrden my heart and tell him everything I feel. I climb into bed next to him and put my arm around his chest, spooning him from behind. I plant a kiss on his neck, right below his ear. "I love you Adrian." I whisper to him. knowing he can't hear me. It just feels so much better getting it off my chest this way. "I want nothing more than to be with you, to hold you like this every night, to wake up in bed with you smiling at me. I love you so much, and only you." I lay there in his bed holding him for about thirty minutes before I feel sleep starting to take over me. I reluctantly get up and walk back to my own room. I flop myself on my bed and go right to sleep, dreaming of Adrian and the life I know we can never have together.
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