A/N: Yo, I'm really trying to wrap this story up and go back to She Wolf but, damn, getting ideas is hard!

Chapter 36: High.

Amber's POV.

Okay. So I liked Andy. So what? I tried not to make it bother me. I figured that it would fade away. I thought that maybe as time progressed I would see Andy and wonder what I ever saw in him. But of course it wasn't that easy because Andy wasn't some random guy that I just so happened to have a crush on.

As the days turned into weeks, I found myself falling more and more for Andy. It seemed to change everything about me. Our relation remained the same though. Andy didn't change the way he acted around me, probably because he didn't notice the things that were changing inside me.

It wasn't really something you could see. It was more like the way I saw Andy changed. He went from awkward nerdy looking guy to sort of cute then unbearably adorable and downright attractive. He couldn't have changed much in just a few weeks, could he? But he did change. His arms that I once considered bony and skinny looked slightly rounded with muscles. His voice sounded deeper, manlier, his eyes were beautiful and comforting, I constantly ran my fingers through his thick, curly hair. He made me feel things I hadn't felt in a long time. Some of the things he said made me smile even several minutes after he'd said it, some of the things he said made my stomach feel all strange and fluttery.

I was in this so deep and it was so frustrating because Andy didn't seem to notice or care. He hadn't asked me out once. He hadn't even looked at me the way some of the other guys at my school did. It was hard for me to believe he didn't care but…maybe he didn't want me like I wanted him.

Andy was the only person who knew how much I'd been broken. I was fixed now though. I was really so much better I never even thought about Embry. Of course I couldn't forget him. But he was becoming a blip in my memory. Embry Call was old news.

I shook my head at how complicated things had to be. They didn't have to be like this.

I checked my cell phone to see if Andy had sent me a text message.

He hadn't.

I sighed and looked into my full length mirror. There was a party tonight. It was Kevin's birthday and he was having a huge house party. Kevin and I weren't really friends—he was in Silver's grade so I really didn't even know the kid—but his party was supposed to go down in the history of parties and I'd be damned if I was missing out on it.

"You look hot." Christina nodded with a huge grin on her face.

I smiled too, in total agreement. I was wearing a tiny black dress that clung to every inch of my body. For the first time, I actually looked like I had boobs! The dress was really short but I was wearing stockings so I shouldn't freeze. I slipped into my black heels and smiled even wider.

What would Andy think? The thought not only excited me, but it made butterflies flutter around in my stomach. I wasn't stupid, I understood that this dress may or may not make guys have suggestive and explicit thoughts about me, but all I really wanted was for Andy to notice me. I didn't want him to pounce on me or grope me or anything like that. If this dress—this extremely slutty dress—could make him look twice, I'd be satisfied.

I had permission from my mom to go this party and Silver was in her room with Seth—which my mom wasn't exactly aware of—so Christina and I didn't have to go through much to get from my room to her car. I had slipped into a jacket and made sure I'd locked the front door before leaving.

Kevin's party was a BYOB party so we had a pack of poppers in the back seat. Neither of us thought about how we'd get home afterwards. That was more something my little sister would think of—things like the consequences to our actions. Our main focus was to have fun. I was going to have fun and party and hopefully have Andy notice me.

It was impossible to miss Kevin's house. Music was boomingly loud and there we kids drinking on the front lawn of his house. We could see Kevin's dad glancing out the window anxiously from the second story where the party clearly wasn't being held. Lights flashed from the basement and we could see and hear the people singing and dancing.

Christina and I were invited in and grinned at by several guys. We were escorted to the hot and loud basement where the party was really happening. There was no furniture in the basement at all as if Kevin's parents were terrified we'd break a couch. There was a bar though, where Kevin was serving out drinks in the exchange for money.

We immediately headed for the crowded dance floor, at first we danced with each other but we eventually separated and started dancing with guys.

I had my drink in hand and grinded with some guy that I didn't really know his name. He was a good dancer though and he didn't grip at me like we'd be having sex in five seconds.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I cursed. I hated when people called when they knew I was at a party. The fact that it was Andy didn't make me any less frustrated. I read his text once and felt my heart sink into my stomach. I had to read it five more times before fully comprehended what he was saying. After trying to breathe in the humid and smoky air of the dance floor I understood.

He wasn't coming.

I squirmed away from the guy that wouldn't stop grinding his groin against me and went up the stairs where it was quieter. I was angry and frustrated and just plain pissed. I couldn't believe he was standing me up. I literally couldn't believe that this was really happening.

I went outside where the cold wasn't evident right away. It was so hot inside that I was sweating a little and the cold air felt good against my humid skin. I took my phone and called Andy. I furiously held the phone to my ear and tapped my foot impatiently against the wet grass.

"Hey, Amber—" Andy answered on the second ring.

"What do you mean you're not coming?" I demanded, sounding allot more like his mother than anything else.

"I don't know. I guess I just don't feel like going. It's not really my type of scene." He said breezily, like he didn't notice how mad I was.

I swallowed my frustration, "So the coolest party of the year just isn't your scene?" I hissed but maybe I didn't sound angry because Andy laughed. It was throaty and maybe a little nervous but it was laughter.

"I guess I'm weird like that, huh, Amber?"

I blinked hard to keep my eyes from tearing. I wanted to tell Andy that I really wanted him here—that the only reason I was well enough to be here was because of him—but that would sound weak and desperate so I cleared my throat, "Yeah, whatever. Bye Andy." I hung up and crossed my arms in front of my chest. A few tears fell and I tried catching them before the messed up my make-up.

I shook it off. This was a party. I was supposed to be having fun. So what if Andy wasn't coming? I tried to tell myself that I didn't care, or at least that it didn't kill me that he wasn't coming. I didn't go inside right away. I stayed in the middle of the lawn drinking my Popper by myself.

"Hey," a guy walked up to me with a smile and two bottles of Smirnoff Ice in hand. "Amber, right? You're in my history class." The guy was kind of cute—he was well built, his hair was light brown and kind of wavy.

I smiled at him. He was kind of familiar, "Yeah. You're Francis, right?"

"Frankie, actually," he handed me his unopened bottle of Smirnoff and I took it. I was glad to have someone to talk to. I wondered If Andy would be jealous but then I remembered that Andy didn't look at me that way. Maybe he was gay. That would maybe make me feel better.

"Oh, sorry." I apologised, opening the bottle and taking a swig.

"It's cool, Amber, you could call me whatever you like."

"I like Frankie." Like Frankie Jonas, I added mentally. Frankie and I got to talking and to be completely honest, he was kind of conceded. I was all for a guy who were confident but Frankie was all that and then some. But he was cute so I didn't turn him down. I finished my drink and quickly found a can of something highly concentrated with alcohol.

Frankie led me to the backyard of the house where there was less people. A few of them were dancing to the music that was still audible from inside the house. Some other people were sitting in a circle on the floor. That's where Frankie invited me to sit. He didn't present me to his friends because I knew most of them. Nicole from chemistry, Marie, Sandra, Gordon, Kyle, Fred, Karl…

"Amber! Hey!" Sandra beamed and invited me to take to free spot next to her.

"Hey, Sandra." I sat down and tried not to show my discomfort in sitting on the floor. I knew I wasn't going to stay here long with them. I would just spend a few minutes with them then go back to dancing with whomever Christina or any other girl I knew was dancing with.

"Want some?" Sandra smile, offering me a tiny white pill. I didn't know what it was but it looked like some kind of drug. White, flat and cylinder shaped and with a thin crease splitting it in half.

I didn't know what it was or how'd she'd gotten her hands on it but I shook my head automatically, "No. No thank you." I said politely, already feeling a pull towards the house and away from these people. If this was what these losers were into then I wanted to have some real fun.

But then a flame sparked and I wrinkled my nose at the familiar scent that smelled kind of bad then afterwards not that bad. I watched as Frankie brought the thin white cigarette to his lips and inhaled. He then blew a gust of kind of sweet smelling thick white smoke out of his mouth. He didn't cough so he'd clearly done it before.

Marijuana.

I grimaced as they passed it on to one another and the white smoke thickened around us like a rerun of That 70's show . Inhaling it alone made me feel a little light headed so when Sandra offered me the weed I didn't say no. I wasn't doing it because of peer pressure or anything like that. I'd already smoked weed once before and it wasn't so bad. I didn't love it because I hated smoking period but, I mean, I was at a party wasn't I? I never claimed to be an angel—I wasn't like my sister who wanted everyone to think she was perfect. I was me, I did mistakes, I did bad things to have fun.

So I took one quick puff from the stuff and fought the urge to cough. Nobody asked me not to leave when I got up and tried to head back into the party.

I walked around the house to enter from the front door. I started tripping on my own feet as I walked on the front lawn. My lack of balance irritated me a bit. Yeah, so I might have had a few drinks and the pot didn't make me more sober but I wasn't dead drunk. My head wasn't spinning and I didn't feel drunk but I was more or less tipsy.

I ended up tripping on the grass and slowly found my way onto my feet.

"Amber?"

I looked up from my dress that thankfully wasn't scuffed with grass or mud.

My heart literally stopped beating for a second. After, it was beating so fast in my ear that I couldn't even hear myself think. Heat rushed to my cheeks and I tried to make myself smile but I couldn't. "Andy."

"Amber, are you okay? I drive by and I see you on the floor! Gosh, I freaked for a second." He tried to help me get balanced on my feet. His warm, slender fingers wrapped around my forearm, pulling me up onto my feet.

I was in shock for a few seconds. I hadn't expected him to come. I was surprised and above all that, angry. My face burned with frustration and I yanked my arm away. I glared at him, "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming."

"I was joking—"

"It wasn't a funny joke. I was so pissed and upset. I…" I took deep breath to steady myself. My head was starting to hurt with all these mixed emotions.

"Amber…what's that smell?" He leaned closer to me and my heart jumped out of my chest. The way he approached me, I was sure he was going to kiss me. A short gasp escaped my lips and he smelled the breath from my parted lips, "I knew you'd be drinking but pot? Seriously?" he sighed in disappointment.

I looked down in shame at first. I couldn't hide the fact that his disappointment upset me. Then I realised that he had no business being upset with me. He wasn't my father, he was the guy who'd ditched me at a party. I was allowed to be pissed, not him.

"Are you fucking serious?" I demanded, "Are you freaking kidding me?"

He sighed, shaking his head as if I were some misbehaving child he knew and since my mother was nowhere to be seen he was forced to keep an eye on me. Like I was a burden to him. "Okay, so you're drunk," he squinted to have a better look at me, "And I'm pretty sure you're high. Did you take anything else, Am? I have to know."

I rolled my eyes, "No, I didn't take any LSD or whatever. I'm not an idiot. God! You're unbelievable, Andy. Freaking unbelievable." I turned my back on him and headed back towards the house party. Even though the last thing I wanted to do right now was party or dance, I didn't have any other options. Christina was probably drunk and if she was by any chance sober, there was no way she already wanted to leave. I would probably have to call Silver to give me a ride home.

"Hey, do you have a ride home?" Andy chased after me, "Because I can stay and give you a ride when you want to leave." He offered sounding more like the guy I was falling for. That frustrated me though. What did he want from me? Because these mixed signals were killing me.

"So now you care? Now you want to take care of me and stuff?" I whirled around to scowl at him. I walked towards him and he stepped back in what I could only describe as fear, "You're driving me crazy Andy! You're killing me!" Okay, maybe I was a little drunk, but I didn't feel it at all. The only reason I suspected it was because my mouth wouldn't stop moving and I just kept saying the things I would never ever say out loud normally. "I mean, you're so nice and sweet and adorable but sometime—like now—I just want to strangle you! And I don't understand why you haven't tried anything with me yet! Everyone says you like me but you don't show any proof of that being true! What am I supposed to do?" I waited for him to answer.

What was I supposed to do? I was lost in this and he wasn't helping me find my way out.

"Amber…I think you drunk and saying things you don't mean." He seemed hesitant and nervous. His face was still in shock, his cheeks blushed. His brown eyes were wide as they stared at me like I was insane. But he was still insanely cute. I couldn't help noticing how adorable he looked when he was surprised.

"Ugh!" I groaned and closed the distance between us. I didn't give myself the chance to wimp out as I grabbed his face and crushed my lips onto his.

His lips we're soft and warm and left my skin tingling. I tangled my fingers in his thick curly hair and tried to drag a response out of him. Anything.

He didn't move.

I pulled away and his face was still the mask of shock.

I thought my heart couldn't break again, but it did. It shattered into a million pieces. My hands were trembling as I pulled them away from him and took a step back to leave a yards space between us. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I wanted a meteor to fall from the sky and hit me in the head.

I'd just kissed Andy.

And Andy didn't care.

Why did I do it? Why did I kiss Andy of all people? Why did I decide that my crush was more important than out friendship? I had a crush on Andy. A meaningless crush. It wasn't like true love or anything. I didn't faint every time we touched. It was just a little thing, a tiny, itsy bitsy thing that wasn't worth a second glance. My chest was aching but that was probably the booze talking.

I was suddenly exhausted.

"Do you want me to drive you home?" Andy asked as politely as possible given the circumstances, but I could hear that he was breathless and I wondered if he had his inhaler. I had the right to worry about his asthma if I wanted to.

I didn't reply to that question. I just walked to his dark green car and threw myself in the passenger seat. I swallowed my shame the best I could and tried not to burst into tears. I had to bite down on my trembling lip and focus on my hitched breathing.

Andy went into the driver's seat and I turned my face away and subtly covered it with my hand.

The awkwardness in the car was intense and obvious. The tension of the kiss was everywhere in the small cooped up space. The length of the trip seemed to stretch out in front of us. I couldn't believe this was happening. The only thing I wanted more than to go in a time machine and stop the kiss from ever happening was to get home and away from this situation.

Once we approached my house my heart beat accelerated and I felt skittish to leave. What would happen at school on Monday? Was Andy going to act like none of this happened? Maybe I could pretend that I was so drunk and high out of my mind that I didn't remember any of it.

That could work.

That could definitely work.