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Adrian POV
It's been three days since I last saw Rose and I miss her. She hasn't come by to check on me or make sure I've eaten or got out of bed on time like she usually does. She's probably with her Russian boyfriend. He's just going to hurt her again. As soon as that baby is born, it's bye bye Rose, again. And who is she going to come running to? Me. At least I hope she does. I just wish she would realize this now and not get involved with him. Maybe I need to be the friend she needs right now and try to talk some sense into her. I hope she listens. I think I'll call her and see if she wants to meet for dinner. When I dial her number, I just get her voicemail. I'll go check and see what shift she has today. Just as I walk out my door, a guardian comes running up to me with an envelope in his hand. "Lord Ivashkov, the Queen asked me to deliver this to you." he says as he hands me the letter in his hand. I open it and read that she has a request that I show someone around the Court. Great, she trying to fix me up again. I seriously don't know what her problem is. My own mother isn't this interested in my love life. Well, Emily Conta, whoever you are, I'll give you the basic tour tomorrow. Right now, I need to find Rose.
As I walk into the guardian office, I see Dimitri punching in. He most likely knows where she is, so I swallow my hatred of him and go up to talk to him. "Guardian Belikov, do you know where I might find Rose?" He turns around and looks at me puzzled.
"I'm not sure. I haven't seen her since...it's been a few days." He looks at the days schedule, and back to me. "Today's Friday, so she worked a short shift this morning, and she's working another shift this evening for another guardian. I don't know where she is now." he says as he shrugs his shoulders. He bows his head to me and walks out the door. Dickhead.
Hmmm? He hasn't seen her in the past few days, either. Where would she be? Usually if she isn't with me, she's either in her room or the gym. I'll check her room first since it's closer. I knock. Once. Twice. No answer. I get my keys out and find the one that fits her lock and let myself in. Her room is so small, with very little personal effects. Her scent is all the place. I stand in the middle of the living area and inhale deeply. I miss the way she smells, like vanilla and lilacs. I open the bedroom door and see that it's empty, bed not made. I've only been in her place a couple of times, and her bedroom never. It's funny how she keeps my apartment so tidy while her own is a mess, clothes on the floor and wet towels hanging on the shower curtain rod, and all her girly things all over the bathroom vanity. Not that she needs any of it. She looks better without all the make up and done up hair. She's a natural beauty. Since she's obviously not here, I should probably let myself out and check elsewhere. As I'm leaving, a picture on her nightstand catches my attention. I don't remember when it was taken, but Rose and I are hugging each other and looking into the camera. I have my head resting on the top of hers, both with happy smiles upon our faces. Someone who didn't know us would see a happy couple, not 'just friends'. It makes me smile that she has this picture where it is the last thing she sees at night, and the first thing she sees in the morning.
Okay, I'm starting to feel like a stalker, so I better get out now before I end up going through all her stuff. I walk to the next logical place she could be, the gym. Sure enough, as I walk through the doors, I hear the familiar grunts and groans of Rose in combat. I go sit down in a chair by the wall and watch her across the room. She is soaking wet in sweat, and the hair that escaped her ponytail is sticking to her forehead and neck. Her face and body are red from exertion and she is breathing heavy. It's no wonder she's the best with the intensity at which she trains. I don't recognize the person she's training with. Must be the new instructor she mentioned getting last week. He does some weird move with his arms and knocks Rose right on her ass. She pounds the matt with her fists and gets up again, ready to fight. He does the same move, and again, Rose is sitting on her ass. She lets out a frustrating growl as she gets up to her feet.
"Rose, you've been at this for eight hours now. Let's call it a day and start again tomorrow." her new trainer advises. Eight hours? That's just crazy. No wonder I haven't seen her.
"No. I don't want to leave until I can block this move. I almost had it that last time." she tells him. He shakes his head but gives in. He looks just as tired as she does, but completes the same move he did prior. This time she didn't fall to the floor, but she does stumble. She immediately stables herself and gets ready for another attack. The two of them go at for another thirty minutes until Rose is able to not only block the move, but counter it with one of her own. I feel so proud of her for not giving up and continuing until she got it right.
She thanks her instructor and heads into the women's locker room to take a shower. I decide to wait by the door, hoping not to see a repeat of the last time I was here. About twenty minutes later, Rose emerges from locker room, hair still wet from her shower. She has her head down as she walks out and doesn't notice me standing there. I walk up beside her and match her stride. She sees my feet and then looks up to my face and quickly looks away, but not before I saw the black eye. I guess I didn't notice it before because it was on the other side of where I was. She starts walking faster, trying to get away from me but I'm not having any of that. I grab her arm to stop her and turn her around to look at me straight on. She's looking at the floor, wet hair in her face blocking the view of her shiner.
I put my finger to her chin and lift it up so she has to look me in the eye. It's a doozy, swollen and black and purple. "Does it hurt?" I ask her knowing she would deny it if it did.
"No. It's fine. What are you doing here?" she says as she pulls my hand away from her face. I want so badly to touch her face and heal her injury, but she'd most likely object.
"Looking for you. I haven't seen you in days and I wanted to make sure you're alright." I see the corner of her mouth turn up into a slight smile and she looks down again trying to hide it. Then I see her expression change when she frowns and shifts back and forth on her feet.
"Last time I saw you, we were both pretty pissed at each other, so I thought I'd give you some breathing room." she says. I sigh and run my hand through my hair in frustration.
"Rose, I'm not mad. I'm just concerned. Getting involved with Dimitri isn't going to end well, especially after the baby is born. I just don't want you to get hurt again." I tell her. She rolls her eyes and puts her hands on her hips.
"Adrian, how many times do I have to tell you, I'm not getting back together with Dimitri. I love him, yes, but I'm not in love with him. Not anymore. I told him this and I'm telling you, again. Now will you finally believe me so we can go on with our lives?" she pleads with me. I look her right in the eyes as I think about what she just said. She's not in love with him anymore. I nod my head seeing only sincerety on her face as she looks at me. I pull her into a tight hug, but feel her wince when I touch her sides. She quickly pulls away, trying to hide something from me. I don't think so. I pull her back to me and try to lift up the side of her shirt. "Adrian, don't." she steps away and holds down her shirt.
"Rose, let me see." I say firmly. She lets out a big breath and glares at me as she reluctantly lifts up her shirt to reveal bruises all over her stomach and sides and taped up ribs. I gasp as I look at her battered body. "What the hell happened? Were you in an accident?" She looks like she's been used as a training dummy. She pulls her shirt back down and starts walking out the door. "Rose, talk to me." I plead as I catch up to her.
"It's nothing Adrian. I've been training in a new style of fighting and I have a lot to learn, that's all. Occupation hazard." she says and tries to give me a reassuring smile. Why does she do this to herself?
"Why didn't you come to me so I could heal you? You don't have to go around hurting like this." she shakes her head at me.
"I need to toughen up my body by getting used to fighting while injured. I can't exactly call a 'time out' when fighting Strigoi so you can heal me, now can I? If I get seriously hurt, I'll call you, I promise." she says as she stops in front of me and gives me those puppy dog eyes I can never resist. I give in like I always do.
"If you promise to call me right away next time. Are your ribs broken?" she looks away, but nods affirming my question. I hate seeing her hurt. Maybe I can guilt her into letting me heal her. "I'm assuming this happened yesterday or the day before?" she nods. "Well then since you practiced with the injuries today, can I heal you so you can start fresh tomorrow? Please?" I ask her, holding both her hands in mine. She stands there thinking about my offer.
"Fine Adrian. If it'll make you happy, heal away." she reluctantly gives in. I put a hand on her stomach and heal the bruises and ribs. Then I gently place my finger tips on her black eye, turning it back to it's original splendor. She smiles and thanks me with a hug. "Thanks for the healing, but I have another shift and I need to grab a bite to eat on the way." She pulls away and starts to leave, but suddenly turns back to me. "Oh, Dimitri mentioned a couple days ago that Tasha is having a dinner party with Lissa and Christian tomorrow night and wanted to know if we could come. I know you don't like Dimitri so I didn't obligate you to come, but I'm going and you're invited, so think about it." she says as she rushes out the door. I wonder if she's keeping herself so busy to avoid me. Was I that awful to her that she'd rather punish herself training like a maniac than spend time with me? I've got to make this up to her and the best way would be to go to this dinner with her tomorrow, but I need to talk to her first.
I know her shift ends at midnight, so I decide to wait for her outside her apartment so she can't avoid me. I sit down against the wall and wait for her to come home. I sit here and think about the last two years, me chasing her and she pushing me away even though I know she feels something for me. I can see it in her aura, but I don't quite understand why she keeps denying it. Our lives would be so much better if she'd just surrender to her feelings. I've got to make her see this. I'm just so tired of this stupid game she insists on playing. The sound of footsteps coming my way disrupts my thoughts as I look up to see a very tired Rose walking toward me. She's dragging her feet and with her head hanging down like she's too exhausted to hold it up. She doesn't even notice me by her door. I get to my feet and she finally looks up at me. "Adrian, what are you doing here?" she asks surprised to see me.
"I want to talk to you and it seems this is the only time you have available." I tell her. She sighs as she searches her pocket for her keys and unlocks the door. She opens the door and motions me in. I walk into the dark apartment and stand in the middle of the room, waiting for her. She shuts the door and turns on the lamp by her couch after throwing her keys in a bowl on the little table by the door. She kicks off her shoes, lets her hair out of its bun and pulls her tucked in shirt out of her pants before falling on the couch. She pats the cushion next to me and I sit down next to her. "Why are you doing this?" I ask her. She looks at me confused.
"Doing what? Working? That's my job. I'm a guardian, remember? Your guardian." she says like I'm an idiot. I roll my eyes at her tone and continue.
"Yes, I know that. But why are you working double shifts and training ridiculous hours of the day? Are you trying to avoid me?" She puts both palms of her hands over her eyes and rests her elbows on her knees.
"Another guardian had to leave for a few days for personal reasons so I am covering some of her shifts. The Queen has stepped up my training for whatever reason she feels like and no I'm not avoiding you, I've just been busy." she lifts up her head and looks at me. "It's not like I felt welcome around you anyway." she says. The guilt I'm feeling is weighing pretty heavy right now.
"I'm sorry for how I treated you the other day when you were just trying to help me. I was going to appologize after my shower but you were gone. I figured you were pissed at me so I thought you needed time to cool off, but I'm here now." She gives me a little smile and leans in and wraps her arms around me. I do the same and hold her tight. I find myself burrying my face into her hair and inhaling its sweet scent. I never want to let her go. She doesn't move away, so we stay in our embrace for a few wonderful minutes. Unfortunately, she pulls away and looks at me. I take a good look at her aura to see what I can find. The dominent feeling is that of exhaustion but I can certainly see red peeking out too. I need to confront her and now is the as good a time as any.
I put one hand on her cheek and I feel her lean into it, just slightly. "Rose, I know I've told you this a thousand times, but I love you and I know you love me too, and not just as a friend." she starts to say something but I'm not finished so I keep going. "You may not love me as much as I do you, but I know it's there, I can see it when your around me. Why do you keep denying it? Denying me? We could be so good together." I keep my gaze locked with her, trying to read mind, as if that were possible. She closes her eyes and lets out a big breath.
"Adrian, it doesn't matter what I feel, I'm your guardian. Having a romantic relationship will distract me from my duty and I won't put your life in danger like that." she says as she takes my hand off her face, but holds it between her hands on her lap. "I'm really tired right now and my next shift starts in six hours and then I have another day of training to get through before the party tomorrow night. So if we're done here..." she trails off. No, I'm far from done.
"Then I'll get another guardian. Problem solved." I tell her but that seems to have only angered her.
"The hell you will! I am your guardian, appointed by the Queen herself. No one else will protect you like I will, so forget about trying to replace me." she practically yells.
"I don't want to replace you, Rose. I want to be with you. I want to love you and make love to you and marry you and have babies with you. Is that so terrible? And don't tell me you don't want that either. Your aura just burst into red when I just confessed my love for you. You love me to, just admit it." I yell back at her. She stands up, looking like she wants to punch me.
"Stop looking at my aura! That's cheating." she says through gritted teeth. She walks away toward her bedroom, but stops and turns back to me. "I can't do this right now, Adrian. Maybe you should go." I get off the couch and walk right up to her leaving only inches between us. I'm going to push her until she finally admits her feelings.
"I'm not leaving until you tell me the truth. Admit that you love me." I say as I take a step closer only to have her take a step back. I keep moving until she backs into the wall. I've got her just where I want her. "Admit it Rose. You love me and want me just as much as I do for you." I whisper as my lips are almost touching hers. I can feel her breath increasing against my face and her heartrate is picking up.
"Adrian..." she starts to say but I can't hold back any more. I close the distance between us and press my lips against hers. I begin to slowly kiss her warm mouth and I feel her kissing me back. I don't want to scare her away, so I keep it nice and gentle as I relish the taste of her and the feel of her silky lips on mine. It's even better than I imagined. I move my hands up along her sides to her back and finally run my fingers in her gorgeous hair. I push my body harder against hers, pinning her against the wall. I can feel her still trying to hold on tight to her control as she's kissing me, but as soon as I move my hands down her body and under her shirt to run them along the soft skin of her stomach, her walls come crashing down. Her hands go behind my neck as she pulls my down and deepens the kiss with so much hunger and passion, I think I'm going to burst into flames. She slips her tongue past my lips and when it meets mine, electricity ignites through every nerve in my body. I slide one hand down the side of her leg and lift it up to wrap around my waist. I move my mouth from hers and trail kisses along her jaw to her neck. I hear her moan lightly as I kiss her below her ear. She tilts her head to the side to give me better access to that region she seems to love. I feel my heart about to beat out of my chest as her hands go under my shrit and travel up my abs and settle on my chest. She feels so good. I don't think I can last much longer without having her completely.
"I love you Rose. I need you, right now." I whisper in her ear. I find her mouth once more and mold my lips to hers. After a few more minutes, I pull away to catch my breath and lean my forehead against hers. "You're amazing Rose. I'm so happy you finally let your walls down and let me in." I say between breaths. She suddenly drops her leg that was at my waist and pushes me away with a look of horror on her face.
"We shouldn't have done that. That can never happen again. You need to go now." she tells me as she opens the door for me. What the hell just happened? One minute we are sharing a wonderful kiss and the next she's shoving me out the door.
"Rose, what are you doing? You know this is right. We are right. Will you stop pushing me away and just let your heart be happy?" I plead with her.
"I can't do this right now." she says shaking her head. "Not now."
"Why not? What's wrong with now? Rose, you're not making any sense." I try to reason with her, but she keeps shaking her head no.
"We can't be together. I'm your guardian. Please, don't do that again." Not this again. She sounds like a broken record. I don't know how much longer I can take her rejection.
"Don't do this Rose. Stop pushing me away, because one day I'll stay away." I warn her. Nothing else has worked, so maybe and ultimatum will.
"You do what you need to do Adrian. I can't be with you the way you want me to right now. Please leave. I need to get some rest." she says on the verge of tears. I don't want to see her cry, so I decide to back off. I run my hand through my hair in frustration.
"Fine Rose, if this is what you really want, I'll leave you alone. Just friends. That's what you want, right?" I've done everything I can think of to get her to be with me, but she's so damn stubborn, I don't know what else to do. Maybe this isn't meant to be after all.
"Yes. I'm sorry Adrian." she says just barely above a whisper.
"I'm sorry too. We could've been great together, but..." I don't finish my thought since it won't make any difference anyhow. I take one last look at her before I walk out her door. Ever since I met her, there has never been another woman in my life, aside from all those horrid dates my aunt forced on me. Maybe I need to stop waiting for something that obviously isn't going to happen and give the next woman I meet a chance. I just need to move on and find some other way to be happy.
I know it seems like I keep dragging Rose and Adrian through hell, but just remember, the more obstacles they have to overcome, the happier they will be at the end. So enjoy the ride and review.