Yayyy and update haha. This is the third to last chapter and it might not be what you expect. ;)

So I have a new story, You Loose You Win. It's very different from this story but it's still pretty good so far if I do say so myself. So please check that one out. I have ANOTHER story on the works. It's called Who I Am (no it's not based off the Nick Jonas song lol). I'll probably upload the first chapter when I'm done with iDavid.

Kay enough of my ranting, here is the next chapter. Enjoyyy.

iDavid

CH12: I Just Can't

I haven't left my room since the day me and Freddie kissed at the park. It just HAD to be on a Monday huh? I didn't want to spend a whole week seeing the three guys that have confused me to no end.

I stayed at home most of the week but I knew I had to go back on Friday.

School was still number one so I had all my teachers email me my homework and I managed to keep up with my textbooks. Not only was it good for my grade but it kept me distracted from the whirlwind of emotions I went through that day.

I haven't spoken to Freddie. I know I'm wrong for avoiding him but I was scared to talk to him after leaving him like that at the park. My phone was off the whole time in case he called or texted.

I was working on my Algebra homework which was very hard to concentrate on. I always had Freddie with me when it came to Algebra. He helped me whenever I had difficulties but I was on my own this time. I sighed and decided to take a break.

As much as I wanted to take my mind off of Freddie, I suceeded about 10 percent of the time. If it weren't for David and Jonah, I could've been with Freddie right now. But NO. As if it was some sort of sick twist of fate, I had to find out David's true intentions the same day I was ready to tell Freddie how I feel about him.

I know I love Freddie. I love him with all my heart but I just can't bring myself to tell him how I feel anymore. When I was with David, I thought he was perfect. We connected and he treated me so well, minus the party incident. But it all turned out to be a lie. I'm not accusing Freddie of being a douchebag. I know he isn't but what if we were to start a relationship? What if it didn't work out and our fights became more than what our bickering used to be?

I don't want to loose Freddie completely. I don't want him out of my life forever and if we were together, I wouldn't want some silly break up tear us apart.

But I already feel like I'm starting to loose him.

All this stress was emotionally taking it's toll on me. I immediately fell asleep, despite that it was only four in the afternoon.

I walked into school, looking very unenthusiastic. My hair was a tangled mess, and I didn't care that I was wearing my pajamas which consisted of a small t shirt and a pair of short shorts. I didn't care that the entire school looked at me with questioning looks or that they were whispering bad comments about me. I didn't care about anything at the moment. I just wanted to go to school and get out.

The school was pretty chaotic for a Friday but then the black and orange posters brought back some memory. I completely forgot about the Halloween Bash. The one night, I actually looked forward to having a good time in school was officially ruined. I can't believe David wanted to sleep with me that day just so Jonah could get his revenge.

I quickly decided right there and then to not go. I didn't even have a costume. I was too wrapped up in all this drama that it slipped my mind. I'll just spend my Halloween on my bed, under the sheets, wallowing with three platefuls of ham, bacon, steak, and any other meat I can get my hands on. At least I know that meat would never let me down the way the male species has.

I walked into biology even more miserable. I had Biology with David and he was my lab partner. Oh joy. I approached my teacher. I needed some arrangements if I'm gonna be in this class till June.

"Um.. hi." I said. Initiating a civil conversation with a teacher was still a challenge for me. I've managed to tolerate most of them.

"Good morning Sam. Can I help you with something?"

"Yeah... I uh. I was wondering if I could switch lab partners. I can't work with mine anymore."

"Sure that can be arranged." he said and I sighed. "But, do you mind telling me why? You and David were a fantastic team. The best in the class."

I was hoping he didn't ask that. What was I gonna tell him? Oh I need to switch partners because I had a month and a half relationship with David only to find out that he was plotting to rape me behind my back. I couldn't tell him that. The last thing I wanted to do was complicate my life further by telling a teacher who could easily call the cops.

"Oh well that's kind of personal. We had a problem a couple of days ago. I'd rather not talk about it." He just nodded his head and took out his seating chart.

"Okay Sam." he said and erased my name off of the spot where David's name was written. "Let this be the last time you need to change partners. I'm only letting you change because you have shown the school outstanding improvment and I wouldn't want you to jeopardize your grade over a little problem. Your new partner is Wendy."

"Thanks sir." I smiled at him and walked towards Wendy. Wendy was a cool girl so I didn't mind having her as a partner. I sat next to her and she looked at me confused.

"Hey Sam. Why are you in my partner's seat?"

"Oh. I'm your new partner. Me and David are done." her mouth quickly turned into an O. Being the Gossip Girl of Ridgeway, she was going to ask questions.

"Oh em gee. No way. What happened. You two were so cute together." as soon as she asked me that I saw David was in. He had a very rad mark on his face. Probably from that fierce punch Freddie gave him. Serves him right.

"We just weren't working. We didn't spend a whole lot of time together." I lied. Well technically, I was half lying because we really didn't spend a lot of time together.

"Oh too bad. So anyways did you hear? Rebecca Berkowits (A/N is that her name?) is dating Jake. They just got together today."

"Really?" I tried to sound interested. Anything and I mean ANYTHING to not talk about the jerk sitting across the room.

"Uh huh. Him and Steph broke up last week for good and then they started talking. They are so cute together." she squealed.

Okay scratch that. I really didn't want to talk about how Jake and Rebecca got together. Seems like everyone is hooking up now that my heart is broken. Seriously, what is going on in this world?

"Oh that's great." I really didn't have anything else to say to her. Lucky for me, the last bell rang and the teacher went on with his lesson. I didn't have to listen to one of Wendy's stories.

I managed to successfully avoid Freddie all day. I saw him while I was walking towards Gym but luck for me, he didn't notice me. Thank gosh the bathroom was right next to me. I just barged in there like it was no one's business.

The one thing I wasn't looking forward to was Algebra because that meant I had to face Freddie. Little did I know, I was going to face him sooner.

I went to my locker, like I always do during lunch, to grab my daily lunch snack. I pulled out a delicious looking cheeseburger form my mini microwave. It had cheese melted all over the patty and about three pieces of bacon were sitting on top. This was the ultimate meal at the moment. Mean has never looked os good, especially at this time.

"Sam." as I was about to dig into my burger, I saw Freddie looking at me as he leaned against the locker next to mine.

"F- F- Freddie." I stuttered.

"We need to talk." he said flatly. He looked angry, sad, and confused all at the same time.

"I can't talk right now." I said and walked away. I felt a hand on my arm and he pulled me back, dropping my burger in the process. Could I experience anymore heartbreak right now?

"Dude what the chiz?" I yelled.

"Sam, why the hell have you been avoiding me these past couple of days huh? You left me all alone that day and didn't even bother to explain yourself."

"Look Freddie... I- I-" I couldn't finish. I yanked my arm from his grip and made a run for it. I don't know when the nub got so strong but he grabbed both of my arms tightly and slammed me against my own locker. He didn't let me go.

"Listen Sam. I think I know why you are doing this." I squirmed, trying to get away from him. Tears started to form in my eyes.

"Freddie. I- I can't..." I choked out, still struggling to get away from him.

"You can't what Sam? Are you telling me that what happened the other day meant nothing to you?" his screams were causing a crowd to form around us.

"Dammit Sam, we kissed and you just run away. How do you think I feel about that?" by the time he finished that last sentence, the crowd gasped in unison.

"Freddie, is you wanna talk please let's do this somewhere else." I whispered, looking around the crowd. He didn't budge. He was too strong for me. Another first. I stopped struggling.

"Sam. I need to hear this from you. Why did you just run away like that. Why have you been avoiding me?" he said as he looked into my eyes. I couldn't bare to look back at them but I was forced to.

"I can't do this" I whispered.

"Can't do what Sam? Huh? Are you scared?" he asked. He knew me too well.

"Are you afraid that someone might actually like you? God Sam why do you always go for these jerks that do nothing but hurt you. Can't you see that there ARE people who love you?"

Did he just say what I think he said?

"Let me go Freddie. I can't do this." He let me go and I began to walk away. The crowd moved so they could make a path for me. I stopped in my tracks when I heard Freddie say one last thing.

"You are a COWARD Sam." I turned to look at him. What did he just call me?

"You are the weakest person I've ever met. You can't accept the fact that someone might actually like you for you. Instead you go for douches like David who only used you." he screamed. I was outraged.

I ran towards him and it was his turn to be slammed into the locker. I rewarded him with a slap to the face before I ran out of the school, tears falling from my eyes.

I went to the park. Skipping school has become a regular thing this week, might as well miss one more day. I made my way to the park. It was empty. Lonely. Just like me.

I cried my eyes out the rest of the day.

Freddie was right. I was scared. I was a coward. I was scared of being with him and I just blew any chance I had with him. This made me feel even more depressed and pathetic.

I spent hours at the park with nothing but my cries. I sat there thinking. I love Freddie. I think he might be worth the risk. No, he IS worth the risk. Maybe I could win him back.

Kay there you have it folks. I didn't really like this chapter. I'm not too impressed with myself but I still hoped you all enjoyed this. PLEASE review.

The next chapter is gonna focus on Carly and Sam. Carly will finally redeem herself for being a suckish friend lol.

So yeah, again, please review. Thank you.