15. Foes and Failure
4:15 PM day 3
Gilligan was back in the supply hut…again. At first the Professor had been quite worried that he was going to catch hypo-something-or-other from his little spill in the lagoon. But it had only taken a few minutes standing in the warm sun for he and his clothes to dry off. He still felt a little chilly as if it were taking some time for his insides to catch up. But he completely ignored the discomfort. He was much too excited to be bothered with such trivialities now.
"Do you really think it will work?" He asked, watching the Professor tinker with buttons and switches on the large machine on the other side of the room.
"I am confident that this particular combination will produce the desired results."
"Yeah, but will it work?"
The Skipper rolled his eyes. "Gilligan, that's what he just said."
Gilligan scrunched up one side of his face. "When?"
Before the Skipper could answer the Professor spoke up. "Alright, Gilligan, it's ready. Prepare yourself." He flipped one more switch and the, now familiar, hum rose to fill the hut. The glass rod flickered with colors that could not be found in nature.
As both sound and light reached their peak Gilligan closed his eyes tight and waited for the unpleasant tingling. The sensation was much more intense this time, as if all those little ants had decided to bite him as they crawled their way through his body. He had to consciously keep himself from screaming and swatting at the insects that he knew weren't there. It felt like an eternity but really couldn't have been more than three or four seconds before the beam vanished along with the nonexistent attackers.
He relaxed, opened his eyes and let out a breath of relief, quite glad that the ordeal was over. A frown instantly appeared on his face as he saw that he still had to look up at his friends. "How come you two guys are still so big?" The young man's heart sank as he realized the implication of what he saw. "I'm still small."
"Gilligan, you must be patient. As with the reduction process renlargement is most likely to be gradual."
4:35 PM day 3
Once again Gilligan stood outside on the communal table. The rest of the castaways were gathered around, fingers crossed as the Professor attempted to measure the first mate.
Gilligan shifted his weight from one foot to the other, fidgeting anxiously as the Professor held the ruler up behind him. "Did it work? Am I growing yet? Am I growing?"
"Hold still, Gilligan. Or I won't get an accurate reading."
The impatient young man held his breath, trying to curb his exuberance. His hat was wrung like a wet rag in his nervous hands as he watched the Professor's face intensely.
"Exactly 3.8." Failure showed plainly on the Professor's features. "It didn't work."
Gilligan's shoulders sagged and his heart had sank into his sneakers.
The despondency in the young man's posture moved the Professor to continue. "I'm terribly sorry, Gilligan." He shook his head in both puzzlement and frustration. "I don't understand. I was certain I had the correct settings."
"Oh, Gilligan, don't look so downcast." Mary Ann said, unable to bear the hopelessness that had descended upon the boy like a rain cloud. "He'll try again. It'll work next time."
"Yes dear." Mrs. Howell shook a gloved finger like a lecturing mother. "You know what they say about falling off a polo pony."
"You pray to high heaven that you don't land on the ball!" Her husband added with a self-satisfied laugh.
Gilligan shook his head, the attempted consolation not reaching his heart. "No. I'm gonna be stuck like this forever. I just know it."
Mary Ann was appalled at the pessimism that was being displayed by the usually optimistic first mate. "That doesn't sound like the Gilligan we know. Why, the Gilligan we know would bounce back, hope for the best. He wouldn't be discouraged by one little failure."
Gilligan gave her an odd look. "How many other Gilligan's do you know?"
"One seems to be sufficient." Mrs. Howell said.
"You don't just give up on the first try." Ginger added, ignoring the first mate's confusion. "Do you realize how many times I had to audition for the Venution Princess in 'Men Are From Mars'? Why I…"
"Hush!" The Professor's voice sliced through the conversation as he held up a silencing hand.
The movie star looked quite annoyed at being interrupted. "Professor I was t…"
"Quiet." He ordered, not even looking at Ginger. His head was cocked slightly as he stared intensely at an empty spot on the table. "Do you hear that?"
Everyone was silent for a moment and an odd rumbling could be heard over the natural jungle sounds.
The Skipper's eyes went wide with recognition. "It's a motor!" He shouted, not even trying to contain his elation. "A boat motor!"
"They're here!" Mary Ann cried, clapping her hands excitedly. "They're finally here!"
"We're rescued!" Ginger exclaimed breathlessly.
"To the lagoon!" Mr. Howell thrust his swagger stick ahead of him and charged down the jungle path.
The others hurried after him, chattering animatedly, anxious to meet their rescuers.
"Hey, wait!" Gilligan tried to run after them but was halted by the sheer drop at the edge of the table. "Take me with you!" He jumped up and down, waving frantically. But it was too late. They were gone. In their excitement of the moment they had forgotten all about him. He let out an irritated huff, shoved his hands in his pockets and kicked sullenly at the tabletop. "And I dub thee: Gilligan the Invisible."
4:50 PM day 3
"Zat's strange." Seigfried stared in puzzlement at the blinking monitor on the control panel as the boat glided into a small, peaceful lagoon. "Ze beacon indicates that the device is several meters inland. Now vhy would…"
"Seigfried look!" Starker stabbed a finger at the shore ahead where several people were emerging from the lush jungle, all of them shouting and waving. "Vhat are we going to do?" He pulled a pistol from inside his jacket. "You vant I should…"
Seigfried put up a halting, black-gloved hand. "Not yet." He scrutinized the smiling group with the eye of a trained spy. "Zey appear to be unarmed." He motioned for Starker to put his gun away as the small ship glided up to the bank and the strange knot of people gathered around it.
A sandy haired man in a white shirt greeted the two spies as they stepped onto the shore. "Welcome! Welcome!" He managed to say over the excited clamor of the others. He shook both their hands vigorously. "We've been expecting you."
The large man in a blue tee shirt and a captain's hat welcomed them with an overzealous handshake that nearly shattered bone. "We found your machine, see, and…"
Seigfried's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Vhy vere you expecting us?" He kept his hand in his pocket ready to whip out his weapon if these odd people turned out to be enemy agents.
The man in the white shirt answered eagerly. "I noticed the homing beacon on your machine so I naturally assumed that someone would be coming for it."
They had taken it out of its container. Seigfried deduced with some apprehension. If the machine were damaged in any way KAOS would surely blame him. He did not even want to think about the consequences for such a failure.
"I can't believe it! We're finally rescued!" An older woman in a large blue hat exclaimed. "After all these years without a beauty parlor."
"You will be rewarded handsomely!" Promised a stuffy looking man in a silk cravat.
Although completely bewildered Seigfried relaxed a bit. It was clear these people posed no danger. No spy in his right mind would behave this way. "I'm afraid I don't understand." He directed the statement to the man in the white shirt, for he seemed to be the calmest and perhaps most sane of the group.
"Please forgive us." He implored. "We've been shipwrecked for such a long time…"
"Four years." Added a pretty brunette in ponytails.
"Ah, shipwrecked vere you?" Seigfried gave a slow nod. It made sense now. Although Starker still looked confused. "Vell ve are happy zat our machine happened to land on your little island." He said with a small bow and the sweetest smile he could muster without becoming nauseous. "I am Conrad Seigfried. And zis is my associate,…" As he motioned to his dense lackey his smile turned wry. "…Shtarker."
Starker gave a nod of his head and clicked his heels together.
"I'm the Skipper." The big man in the blue shirt said. "And this is the Professor. Mary Ann, Mr. and Mrs. Howell and this is…" The Skipper stepped aside a bit and motioned to a tall redhead.
"Ginger Grant!" Starker's jaw dropped in awe. She had been standing behind the Skipper and in the excitement he hadn't seen her.
Seigfried raised an eyebrow as his subordinate approached the shapely redhead with nothing short of reverence.
"I cannot believe mine own eyes! I have dreamed of zis day." The big man fairly trembled with excitement. He managed to calm himself enough to take her hand. "Miss. Grant." He gave it a smart kiss then threw his hands wide. "I am your biggest fan!"
Ginger giggled, completely flattered by the attention. After all it had been four years since anyone had really fawned over her. Adoring fans were one of the things she missed most about civilization. "Are you now?" She asked with a flutter of her long eyelashes.
"Ja! I have watched every one of your movies at least five times. Even ze first movie you vere ever in, you played ze little sister."
She beamed, nearly overcome at having an admiring fan again. "I nearly forgot about that one. I was so young."
"And beautiful." Starker added.
Seigfried rolled his eyes, sickened by the man's lack of dignity. "Shtarker!" He barked causing everyone in the group to jump.
The big man snapped instantly to attention. "Ja, mine leader!"
"Knock it off!" Seigfried's voice switched quickly from harsh to honey. "Ve have work to do."
"Oh, yes. Of course." The Professor said, realizing that the man wished to get down to business. "The machine is this way." He beaconed them to follow him as he started down a small trail through the dense jungle.
As the eight of them picked their way through the tangle of vegetation the six castaways nearly bubbled over with excitement.
"Thank you so much for coming!" The young woman called Mary Ann touched Seigfried's arm gratefully.
"Don't mention it." He replied, still keeping up a friendly front. "Glad to help."
"Now you can cure Gilligan."
Before he had a chance to ask what she meant by that the Professor explained. "One of our friends accidentally activated your machine with some particularly dire consequences. We were hoping that you could reverse the effects."
"I vould be glad to do what I can to help." They obviously assumed that since he had come to retrieve the machine he knew how to operate it. No matter. He didn't plan on playing nice guy long enough to try.
5:10 PM day 3
Gilligan stood earnestly on the edge of the table as the excited clamor from the jungle grew louder. He stretched on his tiptoes as if that would help him to see further. It wasn't long before all of his friends emerged from the thick foliage, chattering animatedly. They were accompanied by two men. The Professor was speaking intently to the shorter of the two. A small blonde moustache sat on his upper lip and he walked with a bit of a swagger. Black leather boots nearly reached his knees and his leather blazer, also black, sported some sort of insignia on the left chest. The taller man with deep-set eyes who was talking with Ginger wore a black turtleneck and looked as if he could break someone's neck with a finger.
"Lovey, the boy is three inches tall." Mr. Howell was saying to his wife as they passed the table. "When is that going to dawn on you?"
"I know dear, but where else are we going to find a porter? Who will carry our luggage to the boat?"
"Perhaps that big fellow with the…" The millionaire's voice faded as they entered their hut.
The girls too, broke off from the group and the first mate heard a snippet of their conversation as they hurried toward their hut.
"I can't believe it. Finally! Hollywood here I come!" The movie star turned to Mary Ann. "Would you help me with my costume trunk?"
"You're not taking that thing with you?"
"Of course. I wouldn't leave without it!"
The young girl rolled her eyes and shook her head, bouncing her ponytails. "Between you and the Howells there won't be room for passengers."
"…was able to stop him from shrinking." The Professor was saying as he and the two visitors came into hearing range. "But I'm afraid the solution for renlargement has eluded me." As they approached the table the Professor motioned in Gilligan's direction.
As he caught sight of the tiny first mate the smaller man's blonde eyebrows raised considerably, creasing his forehead.
The bigger man looked down and his eyes nearly popped from their sockets. "Oh, Seigfried!" He exclaimed coming closer to get a better look at Gilligan. "Look at ze little man!"
Gilligan stepped back a bit, unaccustomed to such scrutiny.
"This is my first mate, Gilligan." The Skipper said. "Gilligan, this is Seigfried,"
The blonde man gave a curt nod.
"…and Starker."
"Hello." Starker said, still in awe of the tiny person on the table.
"They're going to rescue us. Isn't that wonderful?"
Gilligan nodded vigorously. He looked hopefully up at the two men that towered above him. "Does that mean you can make me big again too?"
"Vhy of course young man." Seigfried smiled down at the tiny boy in the red shirt.
Starker gave his superior an odd look. "But Seigfried we don't know anything about—"
"You may not know anything about it, dumkoff." The blonde man snapped, with a look that could kill. "But I do." He emphasized the last word as if the sentence held more meaning than met the ears.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Gilligan said eagerly.
"Just a moment." Seigfried said holding up one black-gloved finger. "Remember, patience is a virtue." To Gilligan the words felt like a verbal pat on the head. "First I must examine ze machine and make sure it has not been damaged." He turned to the Professor. "Now would you be so kind as to show it to me?"
"Of course." The Professor led the way to the supply hut.
"Don't worry Little Buddy. You'll be your old self again in no time!" The Skipper said before turning and following their would be rescuers.
Gilligan let out a little sigh. He really wanted this to all be over then, right that moment. But he supposed a few more minutes wouldn't make any difference. But he was growing quite tired of being patient.
5:20 PM day 3
Seigfried stepped out of the supply hut completely satisfied that the precious machine had been wholly undamaged, despite the accident and the Professor's tinkering. KAOS would be pleased.
The Howells emerged from their hut carrying several large suitcases. With great effort they managed to drag them across the clearing and drop them near the end of the table. Mr. Howell dropped to the nearest bench with an exhausted groan and began dabbing at his forehead with a handkerchief. His wife, much more of a trooper than her husband, fanned him with her scarf. "Just think of it, Lovey. This is the last time we will ever have to stoop to manual labor."
Mrs. Howell's painted eyebrows came together in a small frown. "You know Thurston, I believe I'll miss doing some things for ourselves."
He looked sharply at his wife, his oversized nose wrinkled as if she had just announced that she had taken a job as a sewer worker. "It's a good thing we're getting rescued now, my dear. This island is getting to you!"
The girls soon emerged from their hut as well, Mary Ann carrying her small suitcase in one hand and had a hold of one the handles on Ginger's costume trunk with the other. Ginger struggled to carry the other end.
"Here, let me help you with that." The Skipper moved over, shooed the girls away and lifted the heavy trunk as if it were an empty cardboard box.
"Thank you, Skipper." Ginger said, as he set it near the Howell's luggage. She turned to Seigfried. "Just a few more things." She promised, then motioned to the costume trunk. "You can start loading it onto the ship if you like."
"Yes," Mr. Howell added. "And when you move that blue suitcase be extra careful. It contains something extremely valuable."
"Vhat?" Starker asked curiously.
"Money."
"I'm afraid ve von't be loading ze ship just yet." Seigfried said calmly.
"Why not?" The Skipper looked somewhat perplexed.
"There are several things zat must be done first." He gave them a cryptic grin that widened his moustache.
"Yeah, me." Gilligan spoke up hopefully.
"Zat is definitely one of zem." He looked down at Gilligan with an expression that ran a chill up the first mate's spine. Turning to his subordinate he said: "Shtarker, vould you be so kind as to go to the boat. There is a jar in ze cabin. Empty it and bring it back to me."
Starker frowned a little, unaccustomed to Seigfried speaking politely to him.
"Do it!" The smaller man barked, his demeanor having switched in an instant.
Starker saluted crisply and quickly disappeared into the jungle.
Mary Ann cocked her head curiously. "What do you need a jar for?"
Seigfried gave a little shrug, reverting back to his nice guy persona. "Oh, just to put a little somezing in. Now tell me," He tried to sound conversational. "…it has been just ze seven of you stranded here for four years? No vun else?"
"Well, occasionally we have gotten…er…visitors." The Skipper's mouth quirked to one side remembering all the people who had stopped by the island and for one reason or other hadn't taken them along when they had left. "But they never stayed for long."
Seigfried shook his head sympathetically.
Ten minutes later Starker returned and handed Seigfried a large glass jar. Immediately Seigfried gave some sort of order in German and each of them pulled out a large pistol, Seigfried from his blazer and Starker from his pants pocket. The weapons were leveled firmly on the castaways. "Alright, everybody, hands up!"
The order was such a surprise that it took a moment for all the castaways to comply.
"What is this, some kind of joke?" Ginger raised her hands slowly and took a step closer to the Professor who looked completely bewildered.
"It's no joke, Cookie." The man's entire disposition had changed from amiable to cold as ice.
Gilligan swallowed hard and began to back away, hoping that these men had forgotten about him just as his friends had earlier. If he could just hide for awhile, maybe in the fruit bowl… He turned and ran. He had cleared half the table length and was nearly to the large bowl when suddenly the world distorted in front of him. Everything looked bent, slightly out of proportion. Almost as if he were looking through the bottom of a…
'KLUNK'
Gilligan ran, face first, into a wall that wasn't there. The impact sent him toppling backward to land hard on his backside. With a pained groan he put a hand to his nose to make sure it wasn't broken. Before he could even try to get up the table (was it the table?) tilted and he was forced to slide until his feet hit something solid. He gasped as the clear surface he was now standing on began to rise. He stared straight down, wide-eyed at the tabletop shrinking beneath his feet. He had to get off here before he was too high. Two steps and he hit another invisible wall. Glass. A dark shadow fell over him and he looked up to see a circular metallic object being turned above his head. It looked like some kind of giant lid. That's when it hit him with the force of a hurricane. He was in the jar. They had put it on its side and he had run right into the simple trap.
"Hey!" Panic rose up inside him. He could hear his voice and frantic breathing echo in the clear prison as he pounded against the glass. "What's the big idea? Let me outta here!"
"Hey!" The Skipper's voice boomed through the jungle as the imposing sailor stepped forward menacingly, ready for a fight. "You can't do that to my Little Buddy!"
Seigfried glanced sharply at the Skipper and took careful aim with the weapon in his hand.
"No!" Gilligan shouted, seeing what was just about to happen. But there was nothing he could do to stop it.
A deafening gunshot echoed through the jungle.
Mary Ann clamped both hands over her mouth, stifling a frightened scream. Ginger shrieked and grabbed the Professor's arm with a death-grip. The Howells held tightly to each other, Mr. Howell looking as if he were about to faint.
Gilligan's heart thundered wildly in his chest. His blue eyes were wide and his breath came in quick gasps as the gunshot rang in his ears. He expected to see the Skipper grab his chest and collapse like so many victims in the gangster movies he used to watch back home. That mental image had frightened him many times more than being trapped in a jar ever could. But to his immense relief his captain hadn't fallen. The bullet had ripped through his hat, doing no more damage than tearing it off the startled sailor's head.
The Skipper's hand instantly went to his bare head, the magnitude of what had just happened and what easily could have happened showing plainly on his face.
Seigfried casually puffed the smoke off the tip of his pistol, and gave the Skipper a long hard look. "Next time I von't aim so high."