16. Gilligan Under Glass
5:45 PM day 3
"It's time to straighten some things out." Seigfried kept the smoking gun trained on the six castaways. By their wide-eyed expressions he was certain that his little demonstration had left them sufficiently cowed. Which suited him. "We are going back to ze mainland and we are taking ze machine with us. But you…" He made a sweeping gesture with his weapon to indicate the group before him. "…are not coming."
At that moment rescue was the furthest thing from the Skipper's mind. His jaw muscles pulsed and his hands clenched into fists. His eyes flicked from the two men with guns to the jar that Seigfried held in one hand. Even from where he stood he could see the terrified expression on his first mate's face. If it hadn't been for the weapons he would have throttled the smug German and taken Gilligan back right then and there. He wasn't sure what these two had in store for his Little Buddy, but whatever it was he was certain it was nothing good.
"I don't understand." The Professor stepped forward just a bit, Ginger still clinging to his arm. "Why are you doing this?"
"We haven't done anything to you." Mary Ann added, peeking out from behind the Skipper.
"In zis world you'll find that there are ze good guys and ze bad guys." Seigfried's arrogant grin was accompanied by the tiniest bow. "I happen to be one of ze bad guys."
"Well, you wouldn't be so bad if you made an effort to improve your manners." Mrs. Howell shook a gloved finger at their captor. "A lesson in social skills would improve your character immeasurably."
"Taking over ze world isn't exactly a people-friendly business." He snapped back.
"I hate to break it to you, old boy," Mr. Howell said, finally recovering from the sound of the earlier gunshot. "But the war's over. Germany lost."
"Zis has nothing to do with ze war. Unt Germany lost because they vere closed-minded and prejudice. They didn't believe, as we do, that all men are created equal. KAOS, on ze other hand, is a worldwide brotherhood where men and women from every nation, every race are working side by side, all united in accomplishing a single goal: global domination!"
"Oh, Seigfried!" Starker lowered his weapon a moment to dab at his eyes. "Zat vas the beautiful. Now I'm getting all weepy-eyed."
"You dumkoff! You stupid! You…you…" His face flushed red as he tried to come up with an adequate insult. "…you sissy! Zis is KAOS. Ve don't get weepy-eyed here! Now keep zem covered!"
Starker flinched at the outburst as he leveled his gun on the castaways once more.
The Professor held out both hands in an unthreatening gesture of appeal. "Listen, take the machine. We don't want it. But we beg of you, please, before you leave restore Gilligan's height. And if you could just take one of us back with you so they can return with help. Or at least tell someone where we are."
"I must be honest with you." Seigfried sighed, sounding sympathetic. "We vere just sent here to retrieve ze machine." He over dramatized a helpless shrug. "Ve have no idea of how it works. But we vill be taking one of you with us."
"Who?" Asked the Professor, both eager and suspicious at the same time. These men had proven themselves to be dangerous and unpredictable. Being trapped on a small boat with them was a great risk to that individual. However the trip would only last three days tops and if one of the castaways could be dropped off at a port they could send back help.
"Him." He lifted the jar that held the little first mate.
Gilligan gulped. "Me?" Despite the prospect of returning to civilization Gilligan did not like the idea of going anywhere with these two men. The panic that welled up inside him made his knees shake as adrenaline pounded in his ears. He couldn't run and he couldn't hide which effectively ruled out his first reaction to any dangerous situation. Seigfried raised the jar to eye level, examining the boy as if he were a particularly interesting insect. The spy's face took up Gilligan's entire field of vision and he stepped back until he was pressed up against the glass. He swore right then and there that he would never put another animal in a jar again as long as he lived.
"Ze KAOS lab vill be quite interested in zis little fellow." Seigfried gave the glass a couple taps with the barrel of his revolver. The deafening 'klink' thundered inside the jar moving Gilligan to clamp both hands over his ears. "He vill demonstrate exactly what ze machine can do. He'll make ze perfect test subject."
"Hey, just a minute now!" The Skipper stabbed an angry finger at their two captors. "You can't use my Little Buddy for a guinea pig!"
The Professor put a firm hand on the sailor's shoulder, keeping him from taking another step. "Skipper, no." He whispered harshly. Seeing Gilligan in the hands of these obviously ruthless and unstable individuals bothered him too. But getting themselves shot would do nothing to help their young friend.
"I don't understand." Mary Ann spoke up timidly. "If they made it shouldn't they already know what it can do?"
"Oh, heavens no." He shook his head speaking as if he were addressing the boys at the club and not a row of hostages. "KAOS didn't make zis machine. It vas created by an attic scientist by ze name of Richard Moranis. KAOS offered him a handsome salary to come work in our science department where he could continue his research for us and have ze prospect of being an integral part of ze most glorious smuggling venture since the Great Pekingese Operation of 1865. Unfortunately," He gave a small shrug. "He vasn't very sympathetic to our cause. We were forced to have him taken care of."
"Was he sick?" Gilligan asked, hoping that 'taken care of' didn't mean what he thought it did.
"Not anymore."
The man's tone left no room for misinterpretation. Gilligan swallowed hard, feeling his throat go dry. His chest heaved, breathing having become increasingly difficult.
"So you see, ve are now in possession of a very useful piece of equipment without instructions for it's operation. But thanks to zis little fellow and…" He aimed his weapon at the Professor. "…your notes ve have managed to gain some insight. Zis vill be quite helpful to ze boys at ze lab."
"I'd make a lousy lab rat, honest." Gilligan tugged at his collar, beginning to feel as if it were strangling him. "I never was good at mazes, I was always flunking tests in school and I don't even like cheese."
"Pardon me, there. Yes, Mr. Seigfried." Mr. Howell raised a hand, attempting to get their attention in the least threatening manner possible. "I realize that the two of you are attached to your little plan and quite an effective plan it is. But would you consider altering that plan for, say, half a million dollars?" Usually he started lower than that and raised his price accordingly but the situation was awful tense and he suspected starting high (well, high for anyone else) was a wise decision.
Starker's eyes bulged. "Seigfried, did you hear zat?"
Seigfried eyed the millionaire thoughtfully. "What changes exactly did you have in mind?"
"Well, surely you can get that infernal device working with the Professor's notes. The boy will only cause you trouble. Believe me. For half a million dollars leave the lad with us and deliver this message to the nearest coast guard." He pulled a slip of paper from his pocket.
"No deal."
Starker turned to his superior in surprise. "But Seigfried—"
"I said 'no'. We need zis little fellow to prove to our scientists zat the machine can shrink people as vell as objects. Somesing we never would have guessed. With zis ability our spies could go anywhere without being detected! As for delivering your letter, vell, zat would be using KAOS property for personal gain." He shrugged, almost apologetically just before his voice hardened. "Besides, I don't trust you!"
"Not trust Thurston Howell the Third?" The millionaire gasped as if he were truly insulted. "The soul of honor and fair trade?"
"Professor…" Through the entire discussion the Skipper had been watching Gilligan. He motioned to the jar where the tiny first mate now had one hand clutching his chest and the other banging weakly against the glass. As they watched the boy sank to his knees as if his legs would no longer hold him. This was not typical or even panicked Gilligan behavior. Something else was wrong.
It took the Professor a moment to realize what was happening to their young friend but the instant he did he automatically took a quick step forward and threw a hand toward the jar in Seigfried's hand. "For heaven's sake, let him out of there! He can't-" Even as he made the move he realized it was too sudden and too threatening. Yet he was still surprised at the sound that interrupted him.
BANG!
Ginger screamed as the Professor staggered backward. With a pained grunt his hand shot to his right arm, gripping it tightly. Red liquid quickly stained his white sleeve and seeped between his fingers.
After what had just happened on one dared move to help him but the voiced concerns were instant and anxious.
"Oh, Professor, are you alright?"
"Does it hurt?"
"How deep is it?"
"Lovey, I think I'm going to faint!"
Mrs. Howell grabbed her husband's arm just as she shook a finger at Seigfried. "You're a nasty, horrid little man!"
"I'm alright. I'm alright." The Professor assured through clenched teeth. "It's superficial."
Gilligan had looked up at the sound of the gunshot, but from where he stood on his hands and knees he couldn't see over Seigfried's hand, which was wrapped firmly around the jar. The startled and worried shouts that followed the blast terrified him and he wanted more than anything to see what was going on but he was so lightheaded that he didn't think that he could stand up. All he could do was pray that none of his friends had been hurt.
"Now, now, Professor. You should have known better than zat." Seigfried scolded. "I don't want to kill anyone, at least not in front of the ladies. But make another move like that and you'll cause me to force the issue."
Ginger glared at the two men, her hand on the Professor's shoulder now more protective than fearful. She had been looking for the right time to try and seduce these men into either letting them go or lowering their guard. But now she wasn't sure she wanted to risk it.
"That was unnecessary." The Professor said as he removed his belt, wrapped it around his arm and pulled it tight. The bullet had simply grazed him and he didn't think he was in danger of bleeding to death but he still wanted to keep as much of the fluid as possible. "I was simply trying to tell you that the oxygen in that jar is diminishing. If you don't release Gilligan quickly he'll suffocate."
"Well, why didn't you just say so?" He handed the jar to his subordinate. "Shtarker, would you poke some holes in zat jar so our little specimen vill have some air?"
"Ja." Starker gave a compliant nod as he raised his pistol to the glass.
Even with his blurred vision and oxygen-deprived brain Gilligan could see the weapon the size of a large cannon aimed directly at him. He squeezed his eyes closed, covered his ears and waited.
"Not like that, stupid!" Seigfried reached over and slapped Starker's pistol down. "In ze lid with your knife." He rolled his eyes and addressed the castaways as if looking for sympathy. "You see vhat I have to go through?"
Starker produced a large knife from inside his left sock and with a couple of quick stabs punctured the jar's lid, leaving slits in the aluminum.
Gilligan's breathing slowed somewhat and the dizziness dissolved as oxygen filled the jar and reached his lungs. "Thanks." He panted as his body relaxed. He sat up and leaned against the glass wall.
"Is zat better?" Starker asked, shaking the jar a little, causing Gilligan to slide from one side to the other and back again. For a brief second the movement reminded him of the bucking deck of the Minnow in that storm so long ago.
"Well, ladies and gentlemen," Seigfried began. "We must be leaving soon so I'm afraid ve must tie you all up. Wouldn't want you to get in ze vay while we carry ze machine to the boat."
"Aww, Seigfried." Starker whined. "Must we tie zem up now? I wanted to ask for Ginger's autograph."
"Dumkoff!" Seigfried shouted. "Zis is KAOS! Ve don't ask for autographs here!"
6:20 PM day 3
"You'll never get away with this!" The Skipper bellowed, struggling against the thick bamboo pole he was firmly lashed to. Seeing the captain as the biggest threat in more ways than one their captors had wisely restrained him first, tying his hands behind his back and strapping him to the thick support pole that stood in the center of he and Gilligan's hut. Despite the solidity of the shaft his efforts still shook the entire structure.
Seigfried, who was now tying Mr. Howell to one of the walls vertical support beams feigned shock. "Did you hear that Shtarker? We'll never get away with zis. Maybe ve should surrender now and get it over with."
Starker, who stood in the doorway holding Gilligan and keeping the other castaways covered lowered his weapon slightly. He looked rather confused. "Really?"
Seigfried rolled his eyes. "No, not really."
"Listen," Mr. Howell began. "These ropes are so course and Howell skin is so delicate. Would you mind terribly using something a bit less chaffing? In my hut there's a silk scarf that…"
"Forget it." He gave the knot one last check before moving to the Professor.
The resident genius gave a pained hiss as both arms were pulled back and his hands were tied but other than that he made no complaint.
"Hey, you be careful with him!" The Skipper ordered.
"I'm fine, Skipper." The Professor assured, not wanting the sailor to provoke these two men any further.
The captain let out a small huff as he eyed the large red stain on the Professor's right sleeve. It looked anything but fine. How could he have let this happen? He was the captain. He should have prevented this.
Starker watched as Seigfried moved from the Professor to Ginger, the last of the castaways to be bound. "Seigfrid, why you are doing the tying?" Usually he was the one who would be assigned such menial work.
"You are a big sissy." Seigfried stated matter-of-factly as he tied the movie star to yet another bamboo wall brace. "You vould take pity on your girlfriend here and leave her a little loose. She vould escape, cause a little sabotage unt KAOS would have our heads."
"Never!" Starker asserted. "I am loyal to ze forces of evil!"
"You're the most miserable excuse for a fan that I've ever had the misfortune to meet!" Ginger shouted.
"I'm sorry." Starker sounded genuinely apologetic. "But I'm a KAOS agent first and a movie buff second."
She gave him a piercing glare that could have burned a hole through a glacier. He swallowed and was quite glad that she was now tied up.
"Well," Seigfried began, stepping back to the doorway and surveying the six restrained castaways. "It's been a load of laughs but I'm afraid it's time to say goodbye." He gave a small nod and left.
The Skipper's gaze went to the jar that sat in Starker's left hand. Gilligan stood inside the container with both his hands pressed up against the glass and a haunted look on his boyish face. Their eyes met and the young man said one word. He couldn't hear it and as small as Gilligan was it was difficult to read his lips but he knew exactly what his first mate had said: goodbye.
"Goodbye!" Starker twiddled his fingers in a rather childish wave before following his boss.
"Come on, Shtarker." Seigfried headed toward the supply hut. "It'll take both of us to carry zis infernal device."
"But…uh…what should I do with…?" He held up the jar.
"Put him on ze table and ve'll come back for him. It's not like he'll be going anywhere."
Starker shoved his gun in his pocket, set the jar in the center of the communal table and followed Seigfried to the supply hut.
Gilligan couldn't believe his luck. He had given up, knowing that there was no way he could have escaped while they were holding him but now that they were out of sight just maybe… "HELP!" His voice echoed eerily inside the glass cell. "Somebody! Anybody! Let me outta here!" He shouted at the top of his voice and pounded both fists against the glass hoping that someone could hear him. At that point he would have been entirely happy to see Gladys emerge from the jungle and carry him off again.
"They're gone!" The Skipper said, struggling hard against his bonds and once again shaking the entire hut.
"It ought to take them approximately fifteen minutes to restore the device to the crate, haul it back to the lagoon and return." The Professor calculated as he too attempted to loosen the ropes. The effort, however, brought an involuntary gasp as pain shot up his arm.
"One of us has got to get loose before they come back." The Skipper urged. "Who knows what they'll do to my Little Buddy when they get him back to that lab!"
"Let…me…out!" Gilligan shouted as he threw himself against the glass wall. He took in a startled breath as the jar tipped slightly before stabilizing. He stared at the transparent barrier for a long moment taking in what he had just done. A smile slid across his face as the possibilities sunk in. With even more gusto he leaped against the side of the jar, throwing all his weight into his shoulder. The jar tipped even further this time.
"If we can just reach…"
"What is he doing?" Mary Ann's thoughtful question interrupted the Skipper's planning. She was tied closest to the door and could see all but one end of the table outside.
"What's who doing, dear?" Mrs. Howell asked.
"Gilligan. He's tipping…" Her eyes widened in both surprise and hope. "Oh! He just tipped the jar over!"
"That's my Little Buddy!" The Skipper cheered.
Gilligan stood up, his head not even close to touching the other side of the jar, which was now above him. He was quite proud of his accomplishment. But he wasn't free yet. Stepping over to the lid, mindful of the sharp metal edges around the air holes he tried to unscrew it, first with his hands then with both feet. It wouldn't budge. Not an inch. He sighed, feeling quite defeated. He might as well be trying to open a bank vault without the combination. Taking off his hat and wiping the perspiration from his forehead he stood up…and the entire jar moved. It rolled he realized with elation. He put a foot on the concave surface and stepped down, rolling the jar even further. It was like a giant hamster wheel!
"He just figured out that he can roll it." Mary Ann said, giving the others an update on what Gilligan was doing.
"Yes, but how is he going to get down?"
The same exact question ran through Gilligan's mind as the jar reached one edge of the table. It was an awful long way to the ground, nearly equivalent to a four-story building. He walked along the edge of the table, hoping to find some miraculous solution. As he reached the far end the he looked down and stood there for a moment, thinking. Not directly below but near enough sat one of Mr. Howell's suitcases. It stood a foot and a half below and perhaps a foot beyond the table's edge. It was still a long ways to jump and he could certainly break his neck if he failed. But it was the only chance he had. If he could just land on top of that suitcase he could jump to the smaller one that sat next to it and finally to the ground. Once there he could roll the jar anywhere he had a mind to and hide until the Germans left. Looking down he swallowed the fear that had come up into his throat. He would need a good running start if he was going to make it.
"What's he doing now?" The Skipper asked, fighting the ropes and only succeeding in rubbing his wrists raw.
"I can't tell." Mary Ann said. "He's clear at one end of the table and I can't see that far." She tried to bend over further but the doorframe still blocked her view. "Oh, wait. He's coming back, walking clear to the other end…oh, now he's running back the other way." The young woman's brown eyes went wide with realization. "Oh, no! I think…I think he's going to jump of the table!"
"The boy's gone mad!"
Gilligan ran as hard and as fast as he could, the sound of the rolling jar thundering around him and the glass distorting his view of the world outside. This was his only chance. It had to work!
"If that jar breaks with him in it he'll be cut to ribbons!" The Professor announced, horrified at what their young friend was attempting.
"Gilligan stop! Don't do it Little Buddy!" The Skipper's call was joined by others as all the castaways began shouting at the top of their voices.
"No, my boy!"
"Stop!"
"Gilligan, please don't!"
But the orders and pleas went completely unheard.
Their frantic warnings were cut off by the sound of shattering glass.