10. Breaking Away

Yoh simply stood outside in his shirt and pants, letting the snow fall on top of him. He had stayed in the exact same position for the past ten minutes, not moving, not doing anything. Just simply standing there. All of a sudden his eyes flew open and ripped off one of the icicles dangling from roof the house. He stared at the ice in his hand, feeling the crystallized water warm and turn into liquid. He let the water seep through his fingers as he turned the conical piece of ice over in his hand, looking at the texture of its surface, how uneven and rough and imperfect and—

"Stupid!" He hurled the icicle against the side of the house. His breaths came out of his mouth in short, steamy gasps as he angrily stared at the mark the ice had made on the wood of the Asakura residence. He broke off another one. "You stupid idiot!" He threw it, shattering the ice into countless numbers of shards. "Why can't you do anything right!" Another one. "Idiot!" And another. "Useless!" His hands began to numb and go so could that his fingers felt as if they were on fire. He had gotten so worked up that he was breathing irregularly, the oxygen coming in and leaving his system in jagged, visible bursts. His hands began to hurt but he found it funny that the more his hands burned from the frost, the less he felt the curious pain behind his sternum that had been going on for months.

"And this is called the sternum, right class?" Their teacher turned around to make sure the students were following along. He tapped at the space on the model skeleton's frame to indicate where it was. "And what is behind the sternum?"

A hand beside Yoh flew up. "The heart!"

"Very good! That's right. Remember how people press down here," he tapped his chest, "during CPR? That's because they're trying to restart the heart. Give it a jump start, if you will."

"Yoh! What are you doing?" Keiko called from outside. When she reached the sliding door, she froze. "Yoh! Come in here, right now! Are you out of your mind?" she shouted. When he showed no indication of moving she strode outside and yanked him by the back of his shirt. She sat him down on the chair in the kitchen. "What in the world were you doing out there with no jacket or mittens or a hat or a scarf—"

"Nothing," he mumbled, looking away.

"Well, you were obviously doing something, judging by the temperature of your hands. What, were you playing with the snow?" she asked as she began filling a tub with hot water for him.

"No. That's for kids. I'm not a kid," he replied quickly. "I'm not," he repeated as if to convince her.

"Uh…huh…Honey, you know you're ten years old, right? If you're not a kid at your age, then I have no idea what definition you're using." She stripped his socks off and dunked his feet into the hot water. "Let your feet sit in there for a while."

"No. Kids…they…they let their feelings take over them and…and they cry and show that they're weak…and…"

"Yoh, crying isn't a sign of weakness."

"Yes it is!" he proclaimed a bit too emphatically. "Because when y-you cry it shows that you're still not over whatever you're crying about and that you're not strong enough to…to…"

"Break away completely?" his mother asked, raising one of her eyebrows. "Come here, you." When he didn't move she grabbed the back of his head and pressed it against her shoulder. "My poor baby…" she sighed. "Let it out now."

"Mmphhhbhh!"

She let go of his head. "What?"

"I said that I can't breathe!" His face reddened.

"Tell me what's wrong."

He frowned and then shook his head and then nodded and then pursed his lips and then scratched the back of his head. He finally just threw his hands up in defeat. "Grandma and grandpa aren't allowing me to cry…they say only weak kids do that…And I don't wanna be a weak kid!"

"You still held onto that?" She pointed to the melting icicle still clutched in his hand.

"Did you even listen to what I said?" Yoh asked, slightly irritation.

She looked at him pointedly in what she liked to call her 'Shut-up-I'm-about-to-teach-you-life-lesson' look. It had a rather nice ring to it. At least, that's what she liked to think. "Let go of it."

Yoh shrugged. "Okay." He looked at his fist and then…

Nothing happened. "What the heck!" He looked at his hand and willed it to open, frustration and increasing anxiety evident on his face. "I…I can't let go of it!"

"See?" she asked with a smug grin on her face.

"No! I don't! And now I have an icicle stuck to my hand and I won't ever be able to get it off!" he said, panicking.

She rolled her eyes but smiled slightly. "Shush." She pushed him over and dunked his hand into the hot water. "There you go."

He whimpered as he studied his hand.

"Wait here." Keiko left the room momentarily and returned a little later with another icicle. "Take it."

"Do I have to?" Yoh asked pitifully, fearing that this one would also latch onto his skin.

"Yes." She pushed it into his grasp. "Pretend that…your relationship with Anna is that icicle. Pretend whatever you had, whatever went on between you two is that right there."

"Okay."

"Now break it."

"What." Yoh frowned. How was this supposed to make him feel better?

"Break it, break it. You'll understand soon enough," she said encouragingly.

He begrudgingly snapped the piece of ice in half, hating to thin of what that action symbolized.

"So that's your relationship with her after you were separated, right?" Keiko continued. "Well, what was your relationship with her made out of before you were separated?"

"Ice?" Yoh answered.

"And what is your relationship made out of afterwards?"

"Ice."

"See, so even if you two are broken apart, it doesn't change whatever you had or have between you and her. The ice is still the same, right?"

It began to dawn on him. "Yeah…it is…"

"Over time, the ice will melt into water, yes? But ice was really just frozen…?"

"Water!"

"Exactly. The icicle was a good metaphor for the love you and Anna shared because it was tangible…you could see it and you knew exactly what it was." Keiko tapped the melting ice on the table. "But even after it melts completely, even after it evaporates and you can't see it anymore, nothing will ever, ever change the fact that it's still water in the end." She picked up the icicle once more. "Even after you're separated from her…" She snapped off a piece of the icicle. "And she's separated from you…" She broke off another piece. "You're still part of this…you're both a part of it no matter what."

"W-Wow…" Yoh blinked. "I…never thought of it that way."

"Honey, that's why all boys your age need a mother." Keiko smiled. "And you know what the best part is?"

"What?"

"Everything is a cycle. Just as all the icicles in the world are bound to melt and all the water is inevitably going to evaporate, all the water vapor is going to come back down to earth as rain. And then it will freeze again once more. It'll take a long time…heck, no one knows exactly how long or when it will happen, but one thing is for sure: that water vapor is going to end up frozen as an icicle once again. All you have to do is wait. You'll see, she'll come back to you. You won't know when, you won't know how, but she'll come back to you. Just wait and see."

A/N: Critical Condition is updated! review? :)

i wish Keiko was my mom...