Content Warning: scenes of a sexual nature.

Chapter 19

The Truth

(Lacey)

I rolled over in bed, desperately trying to fight against consciousness. I wasn't ready to face the world, or the anxiety and misery I'd been consumed by as a result of my own terrible choices. It was the weekend though, and I intended to make the most of my free time by remaining in bed and sleeping as much as I possibly could. If only my dreams would let me escape reality.

I kept having the same nightmare: Scorpius walking in on Eve and I in varying compromising positions. Sometimes it was Carlie walking in on us, which felt almost as bad, though I couldn't think why. We'd never even been on a date. Sometimes it was both Scorpius and Carlie walking in on us, which was the worst. One time it had even been Eve walking in on Carlie and I, and I had awoken, clutching at my throat and coughing, the pain of Eve's claws still digging into my skin.

The dreams always started so good, though. Being alone with Eve, enraptured by her tantalizing scent. Allowing my fingers to trace every line of her slim body. The deadly softness of her skin against mine. The excruciatingly pleasant shudder that wracked my body when she kissed my neck, my collarbone. The way my breath left me when she gazed up at me as she put her mouth to my breast, running her tongue over my nipple. Then that smile as she saw what she did to me.

I wanted that part of the dream to last forever. It felt so real, my entire body throbbed with desire as her hand travelled downwards and discovered the heat between my thighs. That was usually the point where the door would open and I would look up to see the shattered expression on Scorpius's face.

I burrowed deeper into my blankets, trying to force coherent thoughts out of my mind, but the more I tried, the more I woke up. Then I started worrying about things all over again. I let out a sigh, opening my eyes. There was a gap in the hangings of my bed, allowing a stream of daylight to land on my face.

I sat up and pushed the hangings aside. The dorm was empty, which meant it must be late. April Lawson was rarely out of bed before noon on weekends and her bed was notably empty. I checked the clock on my nightstand. It was nearly one in the afternoon. At least I had succeeded in sleeping most of the day away. If I hurried, I might be able to get some lunch. I didn't entirely feel like I deserved lunch, but feeling sorry for myself all day wouldn't accomplish anything. I might feel better with some food in me.

But then what? I didn't even have any homework to bury myself in, which was usually my go-to method of distraction. I'd been feeling so rubbish about myself lately that I was actually ahead in all my classes. Unsurprisingly, I didn't want to see Scorpius today. I could see if James needed help with any of his schoolwork though. He'd been pretty messed up lately, with June leaving school and Rose going missing and everything. That settled it, then. A good deed to soothe my conscience. I could help James with his homework as well as give him some company. If I could find him, that is. But first I had to get some food.

Luckily, mealtimes were extended on weekends to account for the lack of structure on days with no class, as well as the need to be available to fuel students in extracurriculars such as Quidditch practice. I slid into place at the Ravenclaw table and started with coffee and a muffin. Upon waking up a little more with the help of some caffeine, I began to look around the great hall. My intention was to find James, or someone who could tell me where to find him, but I was immediately distracted as I noticed Seth Eaton sitting just a few places away from me. I picked up my plate and cup and sat down beside him.

"Hey, how you holding up?" I asked.

He didn't seem to hear or see me. He was sitting in front of an empty plate, staring off into space with a dreamy smile playing on his lips. I waved a hand in front of his face and he blinked and looked around at me.

"Oh, hi Lacey," he said.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, grand," he replied. He was smiling dazedly again. "Just grand. Why do you ask?"

"Uh…" I was taken aback. He didn't seem to be even remember that his girlfriend had disappeared. "Are you high?" I asked in a low voice, leaning closer. He looked surprised.

"Of course not," he answered. "Just… feeling good."

"Rrright," I said. "I'm only asking because you seemed to be really worried the other day."

"Worried?" he asked, and he looked genuinely confused.

"About Rose."

"Rose?" he frowned.

"Your girlfriend?" I prompted. "Who's mysteriously vanished without a trace?"

"Oh," he said, and his smile returned. "I'm sure she's fine. Now, if you'll excuse me." He stood up and walked out of the great hall. I sat there, my mouth hanging open, more than a little flabbergasted at his sudden change in behaviour. It had only been a couple of days since Rose had gone missing, and he had been distraught when he'd found out that nobody knew where she was or what had happened to her. It was a bit too soon to be getting over, definitely too soon to be entirely forgetting your girlfriend. But then again, what did I know about girlfriends?

After asking around the Gryffindor table, I discovered that James and the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team were at practice, so I made my way down to the Quidditch pitch where I found a number of red-clad figures running drills in mid-air. I took a seat in the empty stands and watched for a bit. I hadn't been there long when I started noticing how very off his game James was. He was missing nine out of ten of the shots he made on the goalposts, and the passes he threw were impossibly wide. Even his flying seemed to be erratic.

About ten minutes after I'd showed up, the team captain, Darius Oakley, blew a whistle and the players all landed their brooms to reconvene. Everyone looked well miffed, and it was obvious that James had been performing poorly for the entire practice. Henry was the only one who looked concerned rather than annoyed, and he pulled James way from the others. Darius and the others appeared to be berating him. Honestly, some people get so worked up about sports. I could never understand it. Henry looked up then and clocked me sitting in the stands. He looked glad to see me, and waved me over frantically. I made my way across the pitch to them.

"…just go take it easy," Henry was saying as I walked up. "You're too distracted, you're like to get yourself hurt, or someone else. Lacey, can you take James back to the castle?"

"I'm fine!" James shouted in a voice that sounded anything but fine. "I wanna keep playing. We have a match tomorrow, I need to practice."

"To be completely honest with you, James," Henry said, sounding very reluctant to be honest. "I don't think you should play in the upcoming match. The way you're playing, we'll probably lose. You're a liability, mate. Don't jinx me!" He added the last bit due to the murderous expression on James's face.

"You're kicking me off the team? You don't have that authority!"

"Think of it as a mental health break," Henry said. "A vacation!" He looked to me for assistance.

"Come on," I said, putting an arm around James's shoulder. "He's right, you know. Your head's not in the game."

Henry looked supremely relieved as I led James off the pitch.

"What are they going to do without me? They'll never replace me!"

"James, the way you're playing right now, a Pygmy Puff would be an improvement," I said gently. He scowled, but he didn't argue. "Besides, I heard Teagan's pretty good."

"For a girl," James muttered.

"Sexism, James? You're losing your touch."

"I dunno, shut up."

"Ooh, a clever rebuttal."

After changing his robes and cleaning himself up, the two of us settled down in a corner of the library with the parchment that contained the beginnings of James's History of Magic essay. It was about a sentence and a half, and not a very good sentence and a half, either. James sat resting his cheek on his hand, and staring off into the distance with a forlorn expression on his face. It was honestly disconcerting to see him like this. I don't think I'd ever seen him so unhappy for so long.

"What do you think she's doing right now?" he asked suddenly.

"Who, Rose?" I asked, flipping through one of the books I had brought to the table as reference for the essay.

"No, June," James said and I looked at him, failing to keep the alarm off my face.

"Wait…have you been thinking about June this whole time?" I asked.

"What? No!" he said, straightening up and scooting his chair forward, affecting a studious posture as he leaned over a different book. He frowned down at the illustration of a witch at the head of a marching crowd of women. "Just wondering…"

"James," I said, tilting my head to get a look at his face. "It's okay if you're worried about her."

"I'm not worried about anyone," James muttered.

"Really? Because you seem pretty worried—"

"I'm not worried! I don't care about anyone!" he said, much too loudly for the library.

"Methinks he doth protest too much," I said, turning my face away, eyebrows raised in a very disbelieving expression.

"Shut up," James muttered. "It's just annoying."

"Annoying?" I prompted.

"Yeah, she was supposed to be looking for Rose."

"So it is Rose that's bothering you?"

"Yeah, no, what?" he frowned at me. "Why do you care?"

"You're such an idiot," I sighed. "Why don't you just admit that you care about someone?"

"I don't know, Lacey, why don't you stop meddling in my affairs, and deal with your own trainwreck of a life?" he snapped. I froze.

"What?"

"Oh, come on," he said, turning to face me full on. "I've noticed how weird you've been acting with Malfoy. Your supposed best mate. I've also noticed how much time you've been spending with Eve. And I'm not the only one."

"I don't know what—"

"Come off it," he said, and he sounded truly angry. "You really think I'm that stupid? I know what Eve's like. I've only been going to school with her for seven years. She's not so easy to resist when she starts turning on the charm, is she? You think I've never been subjected to her seduction?"

"I—" But I couldn't finish. I was suddenly unable to speak. I didn't even know what I'd say if I could speak.

"Maybe I am an idiot, but I'm not the only one, am I?" He pushed his chair back with a screeching sound. "You talk about caring for people. Well, forgive me if I find it a little difficult to take that kind of advice from you. You claim to care about Scorpius, well, look what that's gotten him. You're a bad person, Lace. Deceitful, lying, fake friend. Who are you going to stab in the back next, huh? If you don't mind, I'd rather it not be me." And with that, he snatched his essay off the table, turned, and stormed out of the library, leaving me feeling like I'd just been gutted.

I sat like that for several minutes, mouth hanging slightly open, eyes staring at the spot he had just vacated. His words continued to ring in my ears. And of course he was right. All of a sudden, the horrible feeling that had been plaguing me descended once again, like a shroud over a corpse. So much for doing a good deed. I had really just been using James to make myself feel better, I wasn't being a friend to him at all. And what I had received in return was an extremely unwelcome reality check. I felt sick to my stomach.

I bent over the table and buried my face in my hands. How could I spend all this time trying to convince myself that I wasn't a terrible person? It was so evident to everyone else. Everyone except Scorpius. Poor trusting Scorpius. He had only ever been good to me. A friend when I had no one else. And it had been so easy to betray him. I groaned into the table, wishing I could melt into it and just become furniture. Cold, hard, unfeeling furniture.

"Hey, thought I recognized that, well, hair," a voice came from above and I looked up. Carlie was sitting down in the chair James had so recently vacated. "What's wrong, babe? Is it Eve?" She dropped her voice, leaning in closer. I gaped at her.

"You know?" I asked.

"I suspected," she said with a shrug.

"What are you doing talking to me, then?" I asked, straightening up, but hiding my face in my hands again. "How can you even look at me?"

"I happen to enjoy looking at you," Carlie said. I let my hands fall and gave her another incredulous look. "I like you, Lacey," she said simply, and her hand found mine, clasping it gently.

"But…but I'm a horrible person."

"No, you're not," Carlie said, then she wrinkled her nose. "Well, maybe a little. But I don't blame you."

"What? How could you not?"

"Lacey, it's Eve Stroud," she said. "She fucks with people, it's what she does. She does it because she can, and because manipulation is what she's good at. And because she looks like that." I nodded slowly, miserably. "And to be honest, if I was in your place, I can't say for certain that I wouldn't do exactly what you did."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Carlie said. "It's really hard sometimes, being…not straight. It's fucking scary sometimes. Obviously not as much as it used to be, but…liking girls, trying to talk to girls, flirt with them…it scares the shit out of me most of the time. It's so much more straightforward— no pun intended— for a boy to hit on a girl, or vice-versa. I mean, it's safer, more acceptable, thanks to heteronormativity. When I like a girl, it feels like the chances of rejection are astronomical. And even worse, I'm terrified that if I make a move, or show my cards, so to speak, there's a huge chance that she's going to be repulsed by me."

"You told me you like me," I said in a small voice.

"Yeah, because I've been working up the courage to do so for months," Carlie said. "And besides, I thought it might help you with your problem. Not that I think that highly of myself. You don't have to like me back, I just don't want you to think there's no one else out there for you. Trust me, there are girls who would kill to be with you."

"Are you offering to kill Eve for me?" I asked with a smirk.

"If that's what it takes," Carlie said.

She was looking at me in a way no one ever had before. There was a softness in her eyes that I had never seen in Eve's cold, calculating eyes. And I could see the trepidation in her gaze as well. A vulnerability. She had laid her soul bare for me to see. She was holding her breath, I realized, waiting for something. For me to say something. Do something.

So, I did. I leaned forward, bringing a hand to the side of her face, and I kissed her gently. I heard her give a little gasp, then she kissed me back. She tangled her fingers into my hair and pulled me closer, closer, as though in an effort to merge our souls together. A warmth spread through me, radiating out from her lips to every part of my body, filling me with pure joy.

When we pulled apart, I was grinning, brimming over with uncomplicated happiness. Carlie was grinning too, and she gazed at me with eyes that sparkled with the same effervescence I felt in the core of my being.

We sat like that for a few minutes, breathless, speechless, just grinning and staring at each other and holding hands. Then the serious look struggled its way back onto Carlie's face.

"You have to break it off with Eve," she said.

"I know," I replied.

"You need to be honest with yourself. And you need to be honest with Scorpius."

"He's going to hate me," I said, looking away from her.

"More or less than if he finds out some other way?" Carlie asked. I hung my head. She was right. Of course she was right.

"I can go with you, if you want."

"Yeah…no. I don't know…" I muttered. "Do you think she's going to murder me?"

"In all likelihood, yes," Carlie said, but I couldn't tell if she was joking.

"Oh my god, she is," I said in a horrified whisper. "If she doesn't, Scorpius will."

"You don't think he'll see what I see? That Eve has this power over…blimey, you don't think she's part Veela, do you?"

"Scorpius has never seen clearly when it comes to Eve," I said. "It's part of what made me hate her so much. She's always had a hold on him. I wouldn't be surprised at all if she was part Veela."
"Well, regardless, you know it has to be done. You have to tell him." Carlie stood up. "And I think you should do it sooner rather than later."

"What, now?" I asked, unable to keep the rising panic out of my voice. She was already walking out of the library and I had no choice but to follow her.

"Either you do it yourself or I Imperio you," she said. She kept walking. Where was she leading me? Did she somehow know exactly where Scorpius was? I hoped desperately that she was just bluffing and we wouldn't find him at all today. Or maybe she was leading me to Eve. I couldn't decide which would be worse. And what if they were together? I didn't think I could do it if they were both there. But it would be killing to birds with one stone.

Carlie led me out into a courtyard that overlooked the sheer drop down the cliff face with the surface of the lake sparkling so far below. The afternoon sunlight broke through the ragged clouds to illuminate the few students who had chosen to brave the chill of the late January air. There was still some snow lingering, and the students that were sitting in the courtyard were bundled up in coats and scarves.

Scorpius was among them, recognizable only by the tufts of blonde hair that stuck out between his woollen cap and the green and silver striped scarf that covered most of his face. He was sitting on a bench on the other side of the courtyard from the other students, and he was blessedly alone. He looked so distant and forlorn that me heart ached just to see him. To tell him of the betrayal of both his best friend and his girlfriend would be to doom him to a greater loneliness than he had ever known. For how could he ever forgive either one of us?

"Do you want me to go with you?" Carlie asked. I shook my head.

"I should do this alone. It's only right." It didn't feel right, though. Nothing about this felt right. But it felt marginally less wrong that what I had been doing. Carlie crossed the courtyard to join the mixed group of students on the other side of the courtyard. There were a couple Hufflepuff girls that I knew were her dormmates, and I realized she must have come directly from here to find me.

Scorpius looked up in that moment. He saw me, and a smile broke out over his face as he waved me over. Oh, fuck. No turning back now.

"Lace! I'm so glad you're here!" he said as I sat on the cold stone bench beside him. Oh, god.

"Heeyy…" I said in a weak voice.

"Listen, I gotta talk to you," he said, his expression turning serious. Shit, shit, shit.

"Oh?"

"I can't tell anyone else, but you're my best mate. Can you promise not to say anything? Especially not to Eve. At least, not until I've figured out what to do."

"Of course," I said, my stomach writhing with nerves. "What is it?"

"Well," Scorpius said, looking around to make sure no one was within earshot. He took a deep breath and I held mine. "I've been…talking to someone."

"What?"

"I've been a horrible boyfriend to Eve. I know I should've broke it off with her the minute I started having feelings for someone else, but it just didn't even feel like a real thing. And I was afraid of being alone, but, oh, Lace, you know how Eve can be. And she's not as strong as she seems either, she's fragile right now, her mother, you know. Oh, I've been so awful." He buried his anguished face in his hands. I could only stare at him in amazement.

"Erm, that's actually what I've come to talk to you about," I said, and he looked up at me. "Eve." He nodded encouragingly, and I took a deep breath. "She's been cheating on you." Oh my god, oh fuck, I said it. My heart hammered in my chest as I watched his face change from the worry that had been there during his story, very briefly to a relieved smile, and then to a confused rage.

"That fucking bastard," he growled. "It's Potter, isn't it? I knew it. I knew he couldn't keep his bloody hands to—"

"What? No, Scorp, it's…" I took another deep breath, but I was finding it incredibly hard to fill my lungs. He looked so angry. "It's me."

"What's you?" he asked, the rage abating momentarily as he frowned.

"It's…it's me she's been cheating with," I said in a tiny voice. All the air left my body as I watched his face freeze, comprehension dawning slowly. He was silent for a full minute. My throat had closed up and my lungs had entirely ceased their functioning. I stared at him, terrified, trying desperately to pull air into my body which had suddenly gone numb. For a brief moment, he looked hurt, then his eyes went dark, and his jaw clenched, and now he was looking at me with nothing but disgust. "I'm sorry, I— let me try to explain, please." But he was shaking his head.

He stood up and I put a hand out to try to pull him back, but he smacked it away with such force that I felt the pain ricocheting through my bones. He was looking down at me, so furious he couldn't even speak. I was gasping for air now, and my eyes burned with hot tears. He was breathing loudly through flared nostrils, and his eyes cut deeply into me, burning with hatred.

"Please, please," I said again. It was all I could manage to choke out. He was still shaking his head at me. Then his lips parted to show his teeth, still firmly clenched. It looked like he was trying to say something. I waited for it, the tongue lashing I deserved. I waited for him to tell me just how much I had hurt him, but nothing came out. If he would just say something, I'd be able to speak too, I'd be able to explain. God, why wasn't he saying anything? He turned and stormed out of the courtyard, leaving me gasping for breath, tears streaming down my cheeks.

I was vaguely aware of Carlie sitting beside me, wrapping her arms around me, speaking to me softly. Through my tears I could see the other students in the courtyard standing at a distance, watching me. Carlie yelled something at them and they backed off. Then she pulled me in towards her. I rested my head on her chest and sobbed as she stroked my hair. There was nothing else I could do.