*** I want to thank EVERYONE for the b-day wishes today! I love this place :) ***

*** Mary emerges with a purpose. Will she allow a friend to comfort and soothe? Or have past wounds been opened too far? ***

We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals.
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I've held so dear.

- Fallen, Sarah McLachlan

The box of letters sat in the middle of the bed. Unopened. A container of memories that somehow now seemed small and sad. Mary had five things she had kept from her childhood. Five things that defined her. She laid the other four next to the box. Remnants, really. None of them whole. Either incomplete, worn away or missing pieces. Her life.

She thought of the photograph she held in her hand earlier. Thought of a table of photographs she had studied in a small house in California two weeks ago. Snapshots of existence that told of stories long forgotten and images she could not dispute. Mary remembered telling Marshall there was no happy ending to her story. She put her treasures away and picked up the box. She couldn't guarantee happiness, but she could damn well end this.

Marshall heard her door open and sat quietly until she appeared; unkempt and rubbing at her face, a box under one arm. Mary didn't notice him at first and set the box on the end table near the fireplace. She stood and gazed into the flickering light, fingertips of one hand lightly brushing the lid of the box. Suddenly, she stiffened and turned to look at him.

"What the hell are you still doing here?" she asked hoarsely.

"Tending the fire," he responded.

A heartbeat while she stared at him. "You need to go."

"You need me to stay."

"You're delusional, idiot," Mary snapped, no real venom in it. She moved around the end table to sit on the couch across from her partner. "I had a fight with my sister. Just like any other day of the week. I just happen to be especially bitchy right now so it escalated. It's fine. I'm fine. Go home." She knew he'd know she was off her game.

She was a terrible liar. Her shoulders tensed and she picked at her own fingers; eyes slid sideways and she'd shift her weight. This is why she stayed in the van on undercover operations. Marshall's lips twitched in a small smile as he watched her tells.

"Wouldn't you feel a little better if you told me what happened in 1982?" he asked directly, leaning forward to pin her with a stare.

"I hate it when you try to use Interrogation 101 on me," she sighed, shaking her head. "I'm exhausted, I know you're tired, and it's been a fucked up week. I just want to…think about some things and you need to go home." Mary thought of the letters. Marshall waited a few minutes.

"I know you too well to think that was just another fight," he said softly. "Something more than a little girl in a pink shirt got under your skin. I can only assume it was the date on the back."

Mary opened her mouth to explain it away and no words came out. The scenes were playing in her head and waiting to be told, but her mind balked. She leaned back into the cushions and ran her hands through her hair. It was tangled from the motions she had repeated many times this evening. Sighing, Mary's gaze drifted to the fire; captured by the dance of the flames. What to tell…what not to tell. Why tell him anything?

Marshall's pulse sped up slightly as he watched her. Decisions were being made and he had a choice. Wait, or push. He never knew which one to choose and mentally tossed a coin.

"Brandi thinks it was a bad year. Said it was hard. You were only twelve." Push.

She snorted softly, "Going on forty."

Mary continued to watch the fire as she let herself speak. "When I have days that kick my ass and send me crawling back into my bed, I just remember what being twelve was like. I remember wondering if I'd make it to see thirteen. If Brandi would make it to seven." She swallowed and her voice turned harsh, "And he was in Disneyworld." She leaned forward again to rest her elbows on her knees. Inspected her nails. Surprised by her own candor and unable to stop the words from flowing out.

"We barely survived that year, Marshall. And I'm not speaking figuratively. We were homeless most of the year, sick the rest of the time. Jinx was drinking even more than usual and she dragged us into some situations that were…risky. I was too old to ignore and Brandi was pretty. I almost called it quits that year. Almost called in the calvalry." Mary remembered walking to the police station with Squish in her arms. Barely walking. She had been sick for so long it was hard to walk at all.

"Why didn't you?" he asked.

Mary looked up at him and Marshall saw more than tiredness in her eyes. "I couldn't do it. They would've separated us. They didn't try to keep siblings together back then and I couldn't let them take her."

He watched her struggle with emotion for a few minutes; torn, himself, as to whether to offer comfort. Troubled thoughts rattled through his mind as he considered her words.

"Was Robert one of those risky situations?" Keep her talking.

Mary blew out a breath and flared her nostrils in disgust. "Robert. Jesus. That was a monumental fuckup on Jinx's part. Ended badly all around. He was an abusive asshole."

Marshall noted the flames dying in the fireplace and rose to add some wood. He didn't look at Mary directly, knowing she wouldn't want eyes on her.

"Brandi couldn't remember any details. Didn't really know what happened the night he was removed," he quietly prompted her. He wondered if their stories would differ.

Mary should've known Marshall would've asked Brandi about it. Probably badgered her into telling him. He wouldn't leave it alone until she told him about it. If he didn't get the answer he wanted tonight he'd just ask another day. Then again…and again. Mary sighed.

"Jinx hooked up with him because he would give her money. Basically, she whored herself out as a way to keep paying rent so we didn't end up on the street in the middle of winter. They were both loud drunks and he liked to hit her. Would make do with me if I wasn't quick enough to get out of the way. It got crazy one night and he went apeshit. Jinx called the cops and that was that. We moved out a couple of days after he was gone." Mary watched Marshall arrange the logs in the fire with the poker. The set of his shoulders conveyed his anger.

Marshall knew there was more to it. "Brandi said you were screaming."

"Mar-shall…" she nearly pleaded, rubbing her face with her hands.

"Mary, you know this will eat at me until I know what happened. I've seen too many things. We know too much." He was watching her now.

She shook her head even as she answered. Her words were rapid fire and emotionless. "He used me as a punching bag to get at her. He broke my arm and tried to drown me in the toilet. Jinx somehow pulled him off, but he nearly succeeded. The crap in my lungs turned into pneumonia and I was sick for months."

Mary remembered the pain of her poorly splinted arm and burning lungs. She squeezed her eyes shut to banish the memories. "It was rough." The couch dipped next to her as Marshall sat down. She didn't protest as he took her left arm in his hands.

She was a lousy shot on her left. He had always wondered why she seemed to have less strength in that hand; less flexibility and poor coordination. Nerve damage. "Jinx didn't take you to the hospital." It was a statement.

"No," she said. "Doctors ask questions. Nurses call the authorities. We had to pack and go."

No medical care. No antibiotics. Marshall knew Jinx had neglected the girls, but he had no idea she had nearly sacrificed them. Mary could've died, and he wasn't sure her mother wouldn't have left her lying in an alley somewhere if she had. One less burden. He rubbed Mary's arm absently as he brooded. Trying to soothe an old hurt as he tried to control a slow burn.

"Mary," he began, laying a hand on her back.

Mary stood, pulling out of his grasp. She brushed a few strands of hair off her face and walked back around the couch.

"I really need you to go now, Marshall. I need some time alone." She crossed her arms and glanced at him before looking at the floor.

His comfort was too much. She needed the pain to be real; wanted to hurt right now. Every insult and betrayal clearly defined in order to set her mind on the task ahead of her. There was no way she could bare her soul in front of him; not in the way she needed to in order to conquer decades of false promises and hope.

Marshall clenched his jaw as he slowly rose and regarded her. Her defensive posture spoke volumes and he beat down chest-thumping protectiveness. He didn't want to leave her here alone. Watching her, he saw her glance at the box repeatedly. There was something pivotal in there.

Mary was impatient and Marshall was still standing there. "Alone," she repeated. "As in, you're leaving and I'll be the only one in the house."

"I'd rather stay for a while. You're still on edge. I worry."

"About what?" she huffed. Mary rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I'm not going to drink myself into oblivion, and I'm too damn tired to hunt anyone down to shoot them. That leaves me and the damn le-…me, myself and I," she caught herself.

Stepping forward, she snagged his jacket and began to pull him towards the door before he could voice another protest. "Go, Cowboy. Go home and sleep. God knows you need the rest as much as I do. I'll talk to you in the morning. Let you know if I have any earth shattering revelations."

"I'm ten minutes away, Mare," he reminded her as he stood at the door.

She gave him a tight lipped smile and nodded quickly.

He put one hand on the doorknob and looked at her steadily. "Thank you for telling me."

Mary was suddenly self conscious and she felt tears prick her eyelids. "Goodnight, Marshall."

Marshall watched her walk back towards the living room as he let himself out.

*** She almost let him stay. Almost. But now the story is told and I hope some of you are breathing a little sigh of relief. Still awful, but... Are you still hanging in there with me? Please REVIEW to let me know how I'm doing! ***