AN: Hey everyone, I'm back with another one shot. I don't really know how it happened, but I was just thinking about what Brooke and Julian would have turned to be if they never got back together after the break up in 7x11 ( I think that was it!) Basically, I took the events after the hiatus and kind of jumbled them together, cutting out a lot and editing the rest. Hopefully it's not too confusing! Basically, Julian does ask Brooke to work on the movie with him, and the rest is kind of all me. Alexander never slept with Victoria (You'll understand why). I hope you dont' get too disappointed by the ending, I realized I've always written Brooke and Julian a pretty happy ending each time, so this time i've created a different path for them, mostly for my own challenge. I hope you all like it.
She doesn't tend to think about the scientific details of everything. A few years ago, she waltzed back to the little town that made her, and impulsively bought a lived in (not to mention fully furnished) house, without giving it much thought at all. She chases after all the boys when she was younger, without caring about the girls they had to meet at 9pm for a movie date. But now all those seems to just be a distant memory of who she used to be; she hasn't been that impulsive for a while.
And it was the lack of impulse, a lack of belief in fate in the first place, that fueled her decision to leave Julian Baker at the airport by himself, in the first place.
She doesn't tend to think about details, the logic, and tells everyone to follow their hearts and chase their wildest dreams.
But as she would, Brooke Davis rarely follows her own advice.
With all that she has hoped to invest in this relationship, it has all come tumbling down with those three words; words girls would usually swoon over.
But she's not most girls. And she ran the opposite direction; pushing everyone and him away in the process.
The details don't seem too appealing; their relationship isn't logical, there's too many gaps and it's all way too messy.
She doesn't want to dive into the mess; in fear of being so caught up that she'll never leave.
Her heart talks permanence and romance of epic love stories; but the scientific details of the mind argues otherwise;
They'll never work out, she's pretty sure of it.
Their clothes don't match, she points out to Peyton and Haley over countless glasses of wine (Peyton is nursing mugs of herbal tea instead, (regardless of her pregnancy) Brooke is drinking enough wine for the rest of them anyway). He wears plaid, too much plaid. He kind of dresses like Lucas. That's weird.
Her and Peyton really do have a type.
She hates his quirky t shirts, and remembers an odd red tee that has some kind of science symbol with the word 'science' on it. What the hell is the point of that?
'He even wears plaid pants! Plaid!' They don't match her Loubitins or Chanel jackets.
He writes all the time; short stories, little love notes to her; doodles when he's bored. Hi mind never stops being active. He does math puzzles for fun.
And she thinks back to when they all met him for the first time; how his facade tricked them into thinking he's a sexy arrogant bad boy, really, he's just a tiny bit adorkable.
Yes, she;s pretty much a walking cliché; the high school cheer slut fell for the mathlete.
In a way; it's like she's marrying a more charming, better looking, more successful version of Mouth.
Oh dear god.
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Julian Baker is basically Marvin mcFadden, who just happened to grow into his looks and personality.
She might need to stop the drinking.
She said no at the airport, said yes (in her own way) at his movie set. But going to the details; if her mother didn't push her, there's no way she would have gone.
And they were good, they were amazing for a steady while, but then as usual, something had to come and ruin it. Alex, her infertility, Alexander, her insecurity, his hero complex.
The fact that their clothes don't match; he likes japanese, whereas she lives for chinese take aways.
If anyone, anyone in the world at all, wanted to find a reason to not be with somebody, to run away, it's always going to be possible. Brooke loves him, loves him so much, more than it should be allowed. And when something goes wrong, when she goes wrong, she runs, because she doesn't want to be a failure or disappoint the one she loves.
There's nothing worse than upsetting Julian Baker.
And that's why, even when her head said please don't, her heart jumped right in when he asked her for help with the costumes for 'seven days till tuesday'.
So they start a light flirtation, and hide behind the subtexts that the movie provides, she takes a 'clothes for bros' cashmere sweater (one that hasn't been released yet),for him when the weather feels slightly colder, and gives him an encouraging peck on the lips (although it lasted for a quarter of a second and she didn't want to pull away) in the Tree Hill High shop class.
When she thinks about the details, is that what already broken up couples do?
She doesn't think so. Because right now, it feels as if they're both waiting for each other, skirting around the other as if waiting for something to happen, to either bring them back together for good or break them up for real this time.
There's been too many pseudo break ups in this relationship for them to break up this easily, she muses.
They're no longer together. But it feels like they still are, Julian doesn't allow himself to revel in Alex's attention, and Brooke doesn't want to look at the hot PA boy. They're seperately deciding to remain kind of together. There's an understanding between the hair and make up girls that Julian Baker is Brooke Davis's.
And this goes on for a while, for a good two weeks at least. But then it reaches the stage where it needs to be adressed, they need to talk about it, or move on completely. They do neither (because Brooke hates confrontation and Julian hates pushing her), and she accepts a dinner invitation from Alexander.
They go to the best restaurant in town, the one overlooking the river, and she dresses up. She feels a bit out of depth because she hasn't dated for a while, and if she's being honest with herself (and to Haley and Peyton), she pinned all her hopes with Julian, for a good fraction of their relationship, she thought she would be spending the rest of her days with him, and she didn't really think about who would come after. Alexander is smooth, charming in a way that Julian isn't; it's more practiced, she decides, he says all the right things and it feels slightly bland. Julian is dorky, witty and has a bit of a dangerous edge, he challenged her, and Alexander, although impossibly kind and rather funny, he's too plastic.
But he looked good in his light blue shirt, a colour that is Julian's best as well. After the fourth glass of wine, she briefly wonders how his accent would sound, moaning her name, so she gulps down a couple more glasses and ends up taking Alexander back to her place to 'show him the new sketches'. They drink a bottle of champagne, moet chandon from her fridge, and she leans into kiss him. His lips were full, confident, and she thinks of Julian again. Alexander uses too much tongue, he's too eager, but she takes off her shirt on the couch and they end up sleeping together anyway.
It happens about three times over the next week, then she decides to tell Julian.
Because she doesn't want him to wait for her anymore.
She's not sure what she was expecting (a small part of her wished that he would become crazy possessive jealous and all macho, and sweep her off her feet). But he just clenched his jaw, whispered 'right', and pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead.
'I guess I'll see you on set tomorrow, B. Davis'
Something in his tone made her wonder if at that moment, he was thinking about how at one point in their relationship, he thought they'd be forever too.
She doesn't understand how they kind of got to this stage, everyone was sure, that when they began working on that movie together, kind of flirting and skirting around the possibilities of them again, they're bound to end up together.
And now she's sleeping with her co worker, and he's just kind of doing his own thing.
Sometimes these things just don't work out.
The movie was successful, not that she had any doubt about it. The premiere, however, wasn't such a success. Julian took the LA premiere as a chance to display his affections for Alex Dupre, and Brooke was kind of bitter and alone.
The thing with Alexander was really just a physical thing, used to pass the time. It seems as if she's kind of half back to who she was in high school, with a slight mix of the four 'lost years' in New York.
'Why didn't you tell me about Alex?'
He turns, not surprised by the question, he smirks slightly and sips his champagne.
'I don't know, do I really need to tell you about everything that goes on in my life? I've lost the rights, haven't I?'
And it breaks her heart a little with his use of 'my rights', because really, she's lost 'her rights' by making the mistakes first, in the first place. It's those details she looks for, again.
Their moment was interrupted by a herd of photographers shouting out her name, reporters skirting around the corners, waiting to interrogate about her new line and possibly question her about her newly single status. Sometimes she wonders if people who read the tabloid look down on their relationship; she resents the tabloids and gossip websites for trivializing what they had. She wonders if other celebrities feel the same.
Before she turns to pose for the camera, she turns to Julian and gives him a soft smile.
'Be happy, okay?'
He nods, it seems final for some reason. It probably is.
' I slept with Alex two nights ago, for the first ad last time', his voice is so sure and confident and she's surprised to why he would tell her this. She's heartbroken, because although she had her suspicions, it's incredibly hard to hear it out loud-from him.
'We're putting on a show tonight because it's good for the movie, that's all.'
She waves her hand, half dismissively at the roaring reporters.
'Why are you so sure it'll be the last time?'
He shrugs, 'I just wanted to hurt you, half of me wanted to see what it would be like.'
'You didn't answer my question,'
He finishes the champagne and shurgs again, looking straight into her eyes.
'Well, judging by the look on your face, I'd say I got what I wanted already.'
Their conversation felt slightly like unfinished business. So she drinks about three glasses of wine and orders a car to Julian's house in Malibu; the one he kept after moving to Tree Hill. The one he'll probably move back to soon enough.
She uses the spare key she still has, and walks in (half hoping that Alex isn't in there wearing one of his 'edgy' tee shirts).
Instead, she finds him on the patio, there's some acoustic stuff that he likes playing softly from the speakers. He's changed into cotton pants and a grey tee shirt, nursing a mug of coffee.
He's always been a sensitive soul.
'Hey,'
He turns, looking quite surprised (and slightly angry) to see her here.
' I should have known you'd come here tonight, it's something you'd do.'
Her eyebrows are raised, 'I didn't come here to fight. I just, I just wanted to tell you that I'm hurt. I'm angry at you, for sleeping with Alex.'
He laughs, actually laughs in her face. He sips his coffee in a slightly condescending way before turning to face her properly for the first time.
'Okay. Noted. Technically, we're not together anymore so I don't really care, you can leave now.'
It's all in the detail. 'Technically' they're not together. Right.
'No'
She shakes her head, and, more confident this time, 'No'.
'I'm angry, because you did it just to get back at me! For weeks you called me ridiculous! You kept saying that there was nothing going on, you insisted! Now it just means you were attracted to her, doesn't it?'
And she hates the way her voice is breaking.
' I can't believe this is happening, again. God, I actually believed that we would be forever.'
And that's when he pulls her towards him, his hands strongly on her hips.
'You think I lied to you when we were together? Brooke, I was jealous and upset, I still am, and she was there. I would have taken anyone. I can't believe you're twisting this to be my fault!' His voice is loud, but he looks anything but confident. And as he lets go of her, she could see tears in his eyes.
'You destroyed us, when you slept with Alexander. I was waiting for you to come to your senses and work things out.'
She takes a step back, how dare he. 'For me to come back to my senses? Are you freaking kidding me? How about you? Rushing to save her every chance you got! I was waiting for you as well, and I got tired of it!'
'It wouldn't have worked. We just, we wouldn't have worked. I got tired of waiting, of fighting with you. If it wasn't Alex there'd bound to be another issue.'
He looked at her, jaws clenched, trying not to cry.
'I can't believe I was actually going to propose. What a joke.'
And she throws his key back him, and storms out.
She cries all the way back to the hotel, and phones Alexander because she remembers he's in town. He comes to her hotel room and she sleeps with him, once more in the morning before kicking him out. She stayed in her robe and ordered room service, crying for love lost, for about four days before flying back to Tree Hill.
Haley is sympathetic, but stern. She doesn't place the blame on Brooke, and acknowledges that Julian and her should have communicated, but Brooke can see a look in her friend's eye that she hasn't seen since high school; the disappointment that shows whenever Brooke became into a lesser version of herself.
She wanders around, aimlessly sketching and drinking a bit more than usual for about two weeks. She misses him, and from what she's heard, he's still in LA, with no intention of coming back. She wonders if a change of scenery would do some good.
Who is she kidding? She's always been a runner.
And so she tells Haley, Nathan and Mouth all together that's she's going to see Lucas and Peyton for a while, sail around with them for a few weeks (who would have thought the broody blondes would still be gypsy-ing around the globe?) Telling Jamie was a different story, even though the adults too didn't really understand.
When Brooke looked into his bright blue eyes, it was almost too hard to leave, but then again, so was seeing what she'll never have.
'Why are you leaving, Aunt Brooke?'
She smiles softly and shakes her head, ' Tree Hill just isn't home anymore Jimmy Jam, I'm sorry.'
'But we're here.'
She chokes on her own tears, and manages an answer that hopefully wouldn't break the young boy's heart.
'And I love you Jamie, but I just can't stay here anymore, I need to start living again. There's nothing here for me in Tree Hill. I hope you'll understand when you're older.'
She kisses the top of his head, breathing in his boyish scent, and prepares to leave, but his chubby hand grabs hold of hers and tugs.
'Aunt Brooke, is this because of Julian? Are you sad?'
'Yeah, most of it.' But he doesn't seem to understand, so she crouches down to his level and gives him a little more.
'For a long time, Uncle Julian and I thought we'd end up together and get married, like your mommy and daddy. And I really wanted a little boy like you. But it didn't happen, and I just need to go away for a while, okay?'
That was all she could give him. She was more honest with Jamie than she was with anyone else, and Haley was glad that she decided to eavesdrop.
Now she understands. Brooke wasn't running away, not really. She just needed to rebuild.
Lucas finally tells her, a little over a month later (Brooke decided to overstay a couple of weeks longer, much to Peyton's delight), that Julian mentioned that he's been in Italy, producing a new movie. It's the first time in a while she's allowed herself to think about him, wonder about how he's doing.
And then she realizes that she still needs to get her life together, so she leaves to New York, and throws herself back into the social life, the work, the fashion shows.
She's almost forgotten what kind of domestic life she was so close to having in Tree Hill, with Julian. When the thought of coming back to New York was from a different life.
She was brought back to reality when her blackberry receives an email from Sam, a girl from almost a different lifetime too.
Disappointed. What's going on?
Love always,
Sam
It's been almost a year since she's left Tree Hill, a year exactly since she's seen Julian. She marvels in the fact that he's been so easy to avoid, despite her initial fear. Apparently the fashion crowd don't mix with the movie makers.
Oh, who's she kidding? She's hardly dared to set foot in LA.
There's been guys, but that's what they were, just guys. Play things, distractions, something to fulfill her physical needs.
But god she misses Julian. She doesn't understand what the hell happened for it to get this bad.
And she almost runs back to Tree Hill, but then she remembers the big empty house without him.
Somehow, at 4am in Los Angeles, Brooke Davis arrives at Julian Baker's doorstep.
He opens the door, and there's literally no words, from either of them.
'Hi.'
She takes in his shorter hair, slight scruff, and noticeably tanned skin. He's wearing blue, and she falls for him again, like she's never stopped.
'Wow, Brooke. Your hair.'
And he grins slightly at his own awkwardness, she's grown out her hair, it's back to the length it was in high school, a little past her shoulders, and he doesn't want to notice the way it kind of shines and glitters in the sun. She smells the same, and he hates how he has absolutely no self control over her.
He invites her in and they talk for hours, a bottle of wine turns into three and a half. The tension and the 'almost forevers' that hangs above them are conveniently swept aside for now, and they fall back into the easy routine that they've been accustomed to, it's as if time has never passed at all.
He doesn't tell her, but he's jealous of all her guys, the men he reads about. When he casually brings up a name, she blushes slightly, and he honestly feels like crying, because if someone asks him a year ago where he thought they'd be, this was probably the furthest away from his mind. It makes him want to stop believing in love and movie magic all together.
'You can't believe everything you read on the internet', she reminds him softly, an anecdote from their earlier days.
'I'm seeing someone, well, kind of, her name is Leslie, and she's in publishing. Blonde hair, kind of tall.'
She understands why he just kind of blurted that out; it wasn't meant to hurt her, it was to create a defense, as if he needed to remember that he has a commitment to this Leslie person.
Who's probably stunning.
'She sounds,' Brooke pauses, not sure whether to go on with this, 'not very like me.'
Julian grins nervously, 'Yeah, but she loves kids, she has about five nieces and a dozen of nephews and she spoils them to death.'
And that prompts her to kiss him, really kisses him. Her hands are all over his body, tongue plunging into his mouth. He's a little slow to respond, but then pushes himself on top of her, skimming his hand under her shirt, and she rubs herself against him. The rest becomes a sort of blur, and she wakes up again around 9am, on Julian's chest with his arms wrapped around her waist, almost like they used to.
He finds her on the patio. Freshly showered, wearing fresh clothes.
'You packed, confident you were going to spend the night?'
She turns, slightly startled by the noise and smiles shyly.
'I wanted to be prepared.'
They have breakfast, and some coffee (he has tea), and it's almost back to normal, when Brooke breaks the normalcy by saying they need to talk.
So they talk, they really get into it, and argue, Brooke cries, and tells him that she doesn't understand how this past year has happened the way it did. How they both let it happen.
That's what went wrong; when fate decided their paths for them, they took it, they didn't take charge. And in the midst of this, life kind of took control and they lost each other along the way.
They lost themselves, too.
Julian brings up Leslie, and Brooke stops shouting. ' Does she take good care of you?'
He nods, 'She makes me wear sweaters when it gets cold, says I get grouchy when I'm sick.'
That's probably the worst thing that he could have said, in his own way, he admitted that he's cared for. That her place has been taken; there's no room for her in his life now. She knows him.
Her bottom lip quivers slightly and she bends down to graze her lips with his, it was soft, not suggestive.
'Tell Julian, that I give him my best. With everything.'
He smiles at her attempt to lighten the tension between them.
'I really wished it happened differently. This year has been a mess, and I'm sorry.'
She nods in acceptance.
'Maybe in a different lifetime, we would work.'
'Maybe we already had our chance.'
Julian can't help but smirk at her cynicism.
'Even so, if we meet in a different life time, don't be late, okay?'
She wants to understand what that means. This wasn't the closure she came for.
What the hell did she come for?
Two years later, 2012.
She hates LA when it's this busy, it's so hot, and everyone's out wearing tank tops. How tacky.
She's spent about an hour looking for that limited edition, custom made whatever basketball sneakers that Haley said Jamie wanted for his birthday. The birthday party is this weekend, and she's exhausted already.
It took a while before she could begin traveling back and forth between Tree Hill and New York again. Especially with Lucas and Peyton settling back in Tree Hill this year, finally returning back to their roots after a few years of travel. Lucas is currently working on a novel, re writing his time and experience out in the sea. Everything is kind of falling back into place.
She's dating again, not sleeping around like she used to (that jump after Julian to New York was scary, she remembers, it was as if she lost control of herself and went back into high school). Maybe when she turns thirty she'll adopt.
Brooke becomes lost in the memories of these past few years, thinking about a few details. Events she's been trying to block out, and she's so lost that she doesn't recognize the grinning face right in front of her.
'Oh my god, Julian, hi'
They hug, and exchange pleasantries. He takes her into a small coffee shop across the street, and like it always is, they lose themselves in each other, in each other's minds.
'I'm going back to Tree Hill in a few days, Jamie's birthday. I might stay for a week or so, do some catching up.'
He raises his eyebrows, and looks almost wistful. ' Tree Hill. Man, that feels like a lifetime ago.'
She nods and smiles, 'yes it does.'
They talk about everything, about Nathan and Haley's daughter, Julian's new movie. Until Brooke gets a call that the shoes have been located, and she turns to him, almost asking him to come with her.
'So, I gotta go.'
He stands up and scribbles something on the napkin.
'Listen, when you get back from Tree Hill, give me a call. We'll have dinner, I don't know where or how, but let's catch up. Properly.'
She looks at him, trying to tell if he's being serious.
'What about Leslie?'
He looks confused for a second, and then it clicks.
'Oh, we're not together anymore. Haven't been since a little after you came to see me in LA.'
Awkward.
But she doesn't say anything, she's kind of jumping with joy inside, and it's a little pathetic but understandable.
She's about to turn out of the restaurant when she hears him call after her.
'Hey Brooke Davis, this time, don't be late.'