I'm not sure what I was thinking, inviting Spencer over to my house. I looked down to see a slacked out Aiden and smiled briefly as panic came rushing back. Shit. Spencer's coming over. What was I thinking? Hanging out with Spencer. I thought about canceling but that'd be rude, plus the doorbell rang and after leaping off my bed and over Aiden to rush to the door, I worriedly looked back, to get a full view of him snoring. Thankfully it didn't disturb him.
I opened the door to view a smiling, casual Spencer, in comfortable shorts and a loose t shirt, "Hey," I smiled, standing there at my door assessing her.
"Hey back."
I opened my mouth to say something but words kept getting lost, probably somewhere near my esophogus, "You're looking casual."
"Was I supposed to dress up?"
I shook my head.
"Are you going to let me in?" she asked, peering behind me.
"Yep," I backed away from the door, allowing her to walk inside which she immediately scanned with her eyes.
"It's comfy," she let out while still looking around, "Definitely comfy."
"The bachelor pad of a college student." I led her to my room where Aiden was still sleeping, "And this would be my room."
"I presume this is where you be slappen dem bois."
I rolled my eyes at her ghetto humor, "All night errnight."
She laughed. I liked making her laugh. It was refreshing somehow, "I love your ghetto accent."
And her compliment made me smile which made her smile, "So as you can see, Aiden's clearly passed out...again."
"God, he just has blank canvas written all over him...or not written on him at all."
I walked over to my desk grabbing a red sharpie, "Draw away young one."
"Young one? I think I'm older than you."
"Oh really? And how ancient are you?"
"Only 21."
"Sweet. You can buy me booze."
"Not yet young one," she patted my head and kneeled down to Aiden and began to draw a circle around his eye.
"What are you drawing?"
"A monacle."
"Why?"
"Do I need a reason to draw a monacle?"
"I guess not."
"Besides. Monacles are awesome. Haven't you ever wished you could wear one?"
"Not really," I shrugged.
"Well," she scoffed, "You're just not cool then," she turned back to Aiden and continued to draw.
"A mustache? Really? That's original," I teased.
"Whatever. It still looks ridiculous."
"Aiden can just grow a mustache and it looks twice as ridiculous."
"Only dicks grow mustaches," she joked, drawing a soul patch on him as well.
"I remember one time when Aiden tried to actually grow a soul patch."
She laughed genuinly, "That had to have looked ridiculous."
"I wouldn't know. He couldn't seem to grow one. The most he's ever really been able to grow is a slight beard and mustache, but not in the soul patch area."
"Hm. Well, this is boring. I'm done," she dropped the marker and stood up, "What's next?"
"Uh. Nothing?"
She walked closer to me, like majorly invading my space, "What's next?"
"Food?" I squeaked.
She smiled slyly but backed up, "Food sounds perfect."
I walked ahead of her to the kitchen to scour the cabinets and fridge but saw nothing edible, "No food."
"I'm sorry. What did you say? Caveman needs to use full sentences."
"We don't have anything to eat."
"Sure you do," she stated overly postive and searched our cabinets, "I'm a pretty good cook," she continued to talk to me while she was searching through the cabinets. After ten minutes of looking and double looking, Spencer slammed the fridge frustrated, "You really do have nothing to eat."
"I told you."
"Pizza?"
"Meh."
We ordered pizza which they said would take about 45 minutes and Spencer groaned and I whined but we got over it and walked over to the sofa and sat down, tediously waiting for my pizza. I mean...our pizza.
I fell onto the couch as Spencer fell ontop of me, causing me to scream fakely, "Too. Much. Weight."
"Shut up!" she slapped me.
I smiled at her because the seriousness she exhibited was kind of funny, "I'm joking."
She pushed her body off of me and moved to the other end of the couch that wasn't occupied by my body, "Sure you were."
"So what's your deal?" I asked her randomly.
"Huh?"
"Like. What do you do? Where do you go to school? What's going on with your life?"
"I...uh...I take some classes at UCLA."
"I've never seen you there," I muse.
"Yeah, I'm not there that much. I don't have much time."
"Well then Miss Carlin. What is taking up so much of your time?"
She bit her lip nervously, "Dancing."
To say I was surprised is an understatement, "You're a dancer?"
"Part time."
"What about the rest of the time?"
"Well...I just got back from Darfur."
My eyes bulged probably, "Whoa. Why?"
She smiled sheepishly, "Peace corps," and I think my eyes bulged even more, "I know it was a stupid whim and I was young and impressionable and I was 18 and I wanted to save the world and there was this girl and I don't know. I guess I realized one day that helping people was all good and well but I could never truly do anything if I didn't get my life back on the goal track."
"Wow that's-"
"You think I'm stupid huh?"
"Admirable, actually."
She looked relieved, "I can't begin to tell you how many girls I've met who are almost graduating from undergradate school and tell me I need to get a life plan and that I have to start thinking about my future."
"Fuck them."
"They're right, though. I mean, what am I doing? I'm 21 years old and I've got some college classes and a love for ballet."
"Well, maybe you should really take some time to sit down and think about what it is you'd like to do."
"Yeah. Some time. Except everytime I have the time the thought terrifies me so I do something else occupying instead."
I gave her a sympathetic smile because I really didn't know what else to say, "You'll be fine," and really that was the best I could come up with but she smiled all the same.
"What about you? UCLA. What are you doing there because you so don't scream doctor."
"Film," I smiled at my childlike dream to make it big even though it would probably never happen.
"Oh. That's really cool. I hope that works out for you."
"Ha. Yeah. Me too. If not, Aiden will support me on his doctor salary."
"If you ever see him," she said in kind of a pissed off tone which I got the vibe was from something deeper.
"Yeah. Doctoring is a busy job."
"You're telling me."
"So, what's the girl of the week this time?" I changed the subject.
She looked like she had to genuinly think about it, "Shit. I forgot her name again. Fuck. I'm so bad with names. Whatever. I just won't call her."
"Not into commitment?"
"Commitment's just not into me."
"Why?"
"The only people I ever see commitment with are the ones who don't want me. It's kind of a sick, twisted, fucked up system I live in."
"Do explain."
"The ones that want me are never good enough. The ones I want...well I guess I'm never exactly what they want."
"Who wouldn't want you?" I asked a little too quickly. That kind of slipped out and she raised a curious eye brow at me.
"A lot of people?"
"You're gorgeous. I bet the lesbians just eat you up," I paused realizing my double meaning, "In both ways."
"The lesbians."
"Well I'm sure there are plenty of amazing girl loving girls."
"We'll see. I haven't been back that long yet," she kind of said softly but then her tone changed, "What about you? Boyfriend?" she asked more energetically.
"Nope. Still single."
"Good jesus. Why?"
"Same reason you are."
"All the good men are...gay?"
I laughed at her bizarre comparison, "I guess."
"Seriously though."
"I don't know, Spencer. I just haven't found anybody worth my time, yet, I guess."
"Worth your time. I see."
"I guess I just believe that when I see it, I'll just know, and when the force is so strong that there's nothing I can do but to give in, then that'll be it."
"That's going to have to be some force then."
"I'm picky."
"And Aiden…?" I could see where that question was going.
"Ew."
"Why not? He's...an attractive guy."
"Sure he's attractive but I just don't feel anything," I tried to convey how I felt through our conversation and I think she got it. Without saying much, I think she felt my feelings.
The doorbell rang and I walked to the door, grabbed the pizza and as I was about to pay Spencer handed the guy money.
"Spencer, I invited you over. I got this."
"I insist. It's the least I could do for you having me over."
"You paid last time," I pressed.
I think the pizza man was getting uncomfortable which didn't go unbeknownst to Spencer who quickly turned the man and with rushed out speech said, "Here's the money. Keep the change. Have a nice day," and slammed the door.
"I would have paid."
"Well, I already did. Let's just drop it."
It bothered me when she paid but I tried to just not let it, "I didn't realize how hungry I was," I spoke through a mouthful of sauce and cheese and other things.
Again, Spencer winced at my bad eating habits but didn't make any movements to leave. Not forgetting our converstion pre door bell, she ventured back to it, "So did you and Aiden ever date?"
"Briefly. In high school."
"You guys went to high school together?"
"Yeah. We're both from San Diego."
She nodded in understanding, "And what happened when you guys dated?"
"It was just awkward. And weird. And it was like trying to jam the wrong piece in a puzzle."
She nodded knowingly, "I getcha."
"It was like...no. Aiden's my best friend. It's like dating your brother."
She nodded some more, "Of course," but I started to get the feeling she was nodding just to appease me.
"So yeah, that's the Aiden and me history."
"What about any other guys?" she delved. She was seriously prodding. It was getting a little annoying but I went with it.
"I've only been in two other relationships."
"Tell me about em'," she responded casually while taking a bite of her piece of pizza
"James. Went out for about 4 months. He cheated on me."
Her interest was piqued, "Who would cheat on you?"
"I wouldn't have sex with him."
She fell back a little in realization, "Oh. Makes sense."
"Uh. No. Does not make sense. 4 months isn't long enough to date to where I'll have sex."
"What were you waiting for, Ashley? The solar eclipse?"
I felt uncomfortable discussing this, "I was so in the mood for pizza. I'm actually really glad there was nothing else in the house."
"What about the other guy?"
"Let's just drop it."
"I just want to know. Friends share with friends."
I searched her eyes for an answer that I wasn't seeming to get but I went with it, "Adam. We dated for almost a year."
"Shit. Why did you guys break up?"
"I don't know," I answered honestly.
"Did you guys bone?"
"A few times."
"A few times out of an entire year?"
"Initiating sexual interaction makes me uncomfortable," I tried to explain but she shook her head and laughed.
"Oh my. Ashley Ashley Ashley."
"What?" I asked incredulously.
"You're a pistol all right," she smiled.