16. Stay

Before Nick could voice any of the many reasons not to do this with so many of them there, Tao rang the Springs' doorbell.

What exactly were they about to walk into? Nick shivered internally at how close he had come the other day to not getting there in time… and if Charlie had withdrawn so much yesterday that he had physically removed himself from Nick then… Well, Nick didn't want to even entertain the idea of what could have happened in his absence.

He had left the Tupperware container of cookies at home, not wanting to overwhelm Charlie with any unplanned snacks. This may be an intervention, but it was a gentle one.

Much to Nick's disappointment, Jane Spring answered the door - but her face brightened as much as Nick had ever seen it when she saw Tao, Elle and Aled.

"Hello," she exclaimed. "It's been a while, hasn't it? Come in, come in."

And with a genuine smile, she waved them all into the hall and shut the door behind them. "And how have you all been? Good, I hope."

"We're fine, thanks, Mrs Spring," said Elle.

"Oh, and you two finally got together," said Jane, noticing Tao and Elle's joint hands. "It's about time too."

"Agreed," said Aled, smiling as Tao and Elle blushed.

"This is Tara and Darcy," said Tao.

"Hello, it's nice to see Charlie has so many friends. You should come round here more often."

Nick was momentarily stunned - Jane had never spoken to him like this, with so much warmth. He supposed it was because she had known Tao, Elle and Aled for much longer than she'd known him. He also supposed it was because none of Charlie's other friends wanted to sleep with him.

"Um… how's Charlie?" he asked cautiously.

Jane looked at Nick for the first time since they arrived, as if she'd just noticed he was there - and her face fell. "Well… he's been very quiet. We didn't even realise he'd come home yesterday until Julio realised it was time to take him to therapy."

"Oh my god!" Tori entered, making them all jump. "Nick, thank fu- I mean, thank god."

"What is it?" Nick stomach did a horrible flip at the sight of Tori's furrowed brow.

"I'm just… really glad you're here," she said.

Sensing Tori's quiet urgency, Nick turned to the others and said, "I think I should go up and see him first. Do you mind waiting down here for a bit?"

The others all shook their heads, all of them worried about Charlie too.

"You can sit in the conservatory," said Jane. "Would anyone like something to drink? Tea? Juice?"

Jane led the five of them into the other room, friendlier and more welcoming than Nick had ever known her to be. Tao gave Nick a sharp look, followed by a nod which somehow read as a 'thank you' and 'good luck.'

Once they were alone in the hall, Tori lowered her voice to speak to Nick.

"I tried to talk to him last night," she said. "But he barely spoke five words to me. He seems to think something bad will happen if he does, and he won't get out of bed. I told him to call you but…"

Nick was already halfway up the stairs. Tori left him to go into her room once they made it to the landing, then Nick made his way to Charlie's bedroom door. It was shut tight.

He raised a fist and knocked lightly. There was no answer.

"Charlie?" He could feel his heart quicken with dread. But if Charlie was in trouble, then Nick needed to know. "I'm coming in."

He pushed open the door quickly but quietly. What he was expecting was doom and gloom and darkness, but that was not what he'd found. The curtains were open, making the room warm and bright. Charlie was still in his pyjamas, but he was sitting up in bed, headphones on, watching something on his laptop.

Nick's heart sighed with relief but also utter fondness for this beautiful human who was still alive and breathing.

And then Charlie looked up. "Nick!" He pushed his laptop aside at once and got up to bound across the room to jump into Nick's arms. Nick caught him and Charlie clung on, wrapping his arms and legs around him like a koala. Nick laughed as he staggered slightly and caught his own arms around Charlie so he wouldn't fall.

"Hi, to you too," said Nick breathlessly.

Charlie held on tightly for a few moments, then let himself slip down to set his feet back on the floor. But still, their arms remained around each other. Charlie looked up at him through his eyelashes. Under the joy, Nick could see the thinly veiled exhaustion and the sadness - but all in all, he looked way less miserable than expected.

"I'm sorry for leaving like that yesterday," said Charlie. "I should have explained myself better. Or at all."

"You don't need to explain yourself to me. I understand that you needed some space. Did it help? It seemed like it did."

Charlie nodded sheepishly. "Thank you for giving that to me, Nick. I wanted to tell you how I was feeling but I… I couldn't." Charlie exhaled and let his head fall against Nick's shoulder. "Lately it feels like everything I say could get someone hurt."

Nick kissed his head and rocked him gently from side to side, arms securely around him.

"It makes a lot of sense, Charlie. It's… it's a bit like your eating disorder, isn't it? Not talking. It's a way of regaining some control. Of protecting yourself."

Charlie lifted his head again to gaze, awestruck as he so often was, at the amount of ways his boyfriend continued to be amazing. "How do you do that? It's like you can read my mind - better than I can sometimes…"

Nick huffed a laugh and shrugged. "You just… make sense to me, Char. In all the ways, I guess."

Charlie snorted. "Whereas you are a conundrum, Nick Nelson. How are you always so great?"

"I don't know how else to be when I'm around you," Nick grinned. "Because that's how you make me feel. Great."

"You. Are. A. Sappy. Tree." Charlie punctuated each word with a tap of a finger against Nick's nose.

Nick drew Charlie in then, to kiss him softly and Charlie's eyes fell closed as the rest of him melted into it. His fingers brushed Nick's hair and Nick's hands gripped Charlie's waist, holding him up so he didn't, in fact, melt into a puddle of goo.

When they drew apart again, their foreheads fell naturally together and Charlie whispered softly, "You were expecting me to be miserable, weren't you?"

Nick blinked, still coming out of his kiss-induced haze. "Hm?"

"When you came in here just now."

"Oh… yeah. I suppose so. With everything going on, and the way you looked yesterday before you left…"

"It's - it's okay. I was - I was feeling like that, then. But I've got a plan now. Everything's going to be okay, Nick. Nobody else is going to get hurt because of me."

"A plan?"

Charlie nodded. He led Nick over to sit beside him on the bed. "I'm just going to stay here. I'm going to stay in my room as much as possible - and not leave the house unless I have to like for therapy."

"Oh, love," Nick sighed. "But it's summer. I hate the thought of you being shut up in here while it's so nice outside. Seems like a waste."

Charlie took his hands in his and squeezed.

"Hopefully it won't be for too long, but as long as I don't go anywhere or talk too much…"

"I'm not saying I like this plan, but it does kind of make sense… and if it brings you comfort and actually keeps you safe then…"

"I'll be fine, Nick. As long as you and everyone else I love is also fine and here and not kidnapped."

"Speaking of." Nick let go of Charlie's hands and turned away, a little sheepishly. "Um… I sort of have a confession to make. Charlie, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to but last night at the sleepover, I maybe kind of accidentally let the others find out about… you know?"

"What?" Charlie's mouth went dry. Nick had to look away from him, not wanting to see the betrayal in those blue eyes.

"It was an accident, I promise. Tao kind of just guessed there was something going on and I couldn't lie to him. They only know that we do know something, just not exactly what. But I promise I explained to them how serious it is that they keep it quiet."

"They know the risks?"

Nick nodded. "I told them what could happen. I think I scared them enough." He spun back around to look at Charlie again, and Charlie hated the devastation in his brown eyes. "I'm so sorry, Char, I shouldn't have caved so easily. You've been working so hard to keep this secret and I messed up -"

Charlie grabbed his hands again and looked at him imploringly. "No. You didn't. I know what Tao's like. He's stubborn and he won't settle. And to be honest, it's kind of a relief to know that other people know something's going on. Keeping secrets… especially ones like we've been keeping, it's dangerous no matter what we decide to tell and not tell."

"You're seriously not mad at me?"

"Oh, Nick," Charlie reached up to stroke his cheek. "Never. I don't think I could ever be mad at you. If it ever happens, maybe check I haven't been possessed by an evil spirit or something?"

"Jesus, Char, don't fuel my nightmares any more, thank you very much."

"Sorry." But Charlie laughed and it was infectious as always.

"There is one more thing I have to confess," said Nick, standing up.

"Hm?"

"I kind of brought the others here with me."

"What?"

"They're all waiting downstairs in the conservatory. We were all worried about you so…"

"And you've been making them wait all this time? Nick!"

"I didn't know whether you'd want us all swarming up here…"

"Nick, go and tell them to come up here at once."

"Okay, okay, I'm going, I'm going."

As Nick disappeared from the room, Charlie let out a breath in the form of a laugh and flopped back onto his bed, grinning wider than he'd grinned in days.

He was still smiling like an idiot when Tao led the way through the door, the other Paris Squad members close behind him.

"Charlie, what the heck?" said Tao, pulling him off the bed and into a very ferocious hug. "We thought you were depressed or something. And you've just been chilling up here, watching internet crap rather than hanging out with us?"

"I'm sorry, Tao, but I haven't just been chilling out. I was feeling pretty shit until this morning really."

"Tao, leave the poor boy alone," said Elle, pushing past him to hug Charlie too. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Thanks, Elle."

"Us too, Charlie," said Darcy.

"Yeah, we were really worried," said Tara, as she and Darcy both hugged Charlie at the same time.

"Guys, please, stop worrying about me," Charlie huffed, hugging Aled, who always gave great hugs. "Nick has that covered."

"Right. I have permission to worry, remember, Char?"

"Right. Unfortunately…"

"Well, we came here to cheer you up," said Elle. "Even if you're already cheered, we're still going to have a nice time - if you want us to stay, anyway."

"Of course I do," said Charlie smiling at them all gathered there in his room. "What did you have in mind?"

"Hmm," said Darcy, mischievously. She reached into her bag of supplies from the sleepover, and drew out a small black box. "I brought this for the sleepover but it didn't seem appropriate… but how about Cards Against Humanity?"

"Oh my god, yes!" said Charlie, clapping his hands. "I've always wanted to play that! We're going to have to keep it kind of quiet though, my parents would not approve."

So, the six of them settled down around Charlie's room, bringing cushions and blankets down from the bed to sit more comfortably on the floor. It was just as if they'd directly continued Nick's sleepover, only now it felt more like a proper one, with less wallowing.

All throughout the game, Nick kept expecting to sense a lull in Charlie's newfound cheerfulness but was happy to observe there never seemed to be one.

During their second round of Cards Against Humanity, the door creaked open and Oliver poked his little curly head round it. He bounded inside, demanding them to let him play as everyone hid their more risqué cards.

"Oliver, piss off," said Charlie. "I'm sorry but this game is for grown-ups."

Oliver stuck his tongue out and huffed dramatically. "You're not a grown-up!"

Charlie sighed. "I would let you play, Olly, but maybe in a bit. We can play something else, and you can join in then."

As he said it, the door moved again and Tori entered. "Oliver, what are you doing?" she said, then she saw them all there. "Oh my god, please can I play?"

Oliver did not appreciate that. Tori was happily dealt into the game and Oliver slammed the door behind him.

"We'd best be quick," said Charlie, turning back to his cards. "He might go to my mum any minute."

"I'm not sure she even knows to be wary of this game," said Tori. "It should be fine."

Several games and a lot of side-splitting laughter later, there was a knock on the door and Jane entered this time. Luckily, they had cleared away the cards and so were free from her disapproval. She actually seemed really pleased to hear and see all the joy around her son's room.

"Are any of you hungry?"

There was an enthusiastic chorus of assent.

"Then I'd suppose you'd all better come downstairs into the garden. Julio's set up the barbecue."

"Yes!" Darcy cried.

"Thank you so much, Mrs Spring," said Tara.

"You're very welcome. Come on then. It's too nice a day for you all to be shut up in here."

There wasn't enough space for all eleven of them around the patio table, so Nick and Charlie sat on the grass with their food. Wanting to do whatever Nick did, Oliver of course had to join them, and then all of the Paris Squad and Tori were sitting on the lawn in the sun, chatting happily as they ate.

Julio and Jane seemed relatively chipper as they observed them from the table. It was nice that the appearance of Charlie's usual friends had seemingly calmed his mum down but still… he hoped one day, eventually, Nick might have the same effect.

The sun was bright and warm, and the grass was dry and soft beneath them. When they'd finished their food, they all cast their plates aside but stayed lounging on the lawn. Despite Nick's constant niggling in the back of his mind about David and about Sahar and about how his mum was faring at home alone with Portia, he found himself having a relatively relaxed time.

When Oliver reminded them all that they had promised to play a game with him, Charlie quickly ran upstairs with him to pick out something suitable for all of them to play. They returned sometime later with Scrabble, much to Oliver and honestly, several of the others' disappointment.

"Scrabble?" Tao groaned.

"Scrabble's so boring!" Darcy cried.

"He only chose it 'cause he always wins," Oliver pouted as he and Charlie sat back down on the grass.

"I like Scrabble," said Aled.

"Yeah, because both of you are massive nerds," said Tao. "You're both going to make the rest of us look stupid."

"We don't need Scrabble to do that," said Charlie, smirking. Aled grinned, nodding.

"Waaaaay!" Darcy yelled, making Oliver giggle loudly.

Despite his complaints, Tao helped set up the board and away they all went. It didn't take many rounds for Oliver to get bored, and after his whiny presence got too bothersome, Tori surrendered her letters and took him inside. Charlie suspected his sister had had enough of other people, and just wanted to hide in her room.

Nick was truly awful at Scrabble but didn't mind in the slightest. He was quite happy to watch as Charlie dominated pretty much everyone else, except for Aled, who was the only other real competition. The adorable little frown that appeared on Charlie's face whenever he was concentrating hard on something was honestly one of Nick's top favourite things. And he always got so animated whenever they were playing any kind of game - especially one he was good at. Whenever he knew he was good enough at something to be unashamedly confident about it that was honestly very sexy.

On the other hand, Tao was truly awful at Scrabble and very much minded. It was a relief for all of them when finally, only Charlie and Aled were left, battling it out over the final letters. Once Aled had won and Charlie had exhausted all possible arguments against Aled's final word, Tao cheered.

"Finally! Please can we play something else now?"

"Yes, please," said Elle, lifting her head up from her arms, where she had been dozing, almost asleep on the grass beside Tao.

Charlie laughed. "Fine. Thanks for humouring us intellects. Perhaps more Cards Against Humanity for the more simple-minded among us?"

Nick, Charlie and the rest of the Paris Squad spent the rest of the afternoon switching between lazing about and playing various card and board games. By the time they were waving the last of their friends out the door, the sun had lowered considerably and the evening was looking to be just as warm and lovely as the afternoon.

And when Charlie shut the front door for the last time, he turned to look at Nick in the hall and sighed in relief.

"God, I wondered if they'd ever go home. I've been wanting it to just be us since like, one o'clock."

Nick laughed and drew Charlie closer to him. "Same. They're great but… I've just wanted to grab you and do this -"

He kissed him, hard and desperate. Charlie gasped against his lips, before responding, open mouthed and increasingly heated, until Nick stumbled, caught up against the closed front door.

They both chuckled between kisses as Nick's head thunked against the door.

"Sorry," Charlie gasped.

"You will be," said Nick, breathless. "Maybe we should continue this in your room?"

Charlie pouted. "Did you not want to be pinned against the door?"

"A door is fine. But maybe not this one, baby. What if someone knocks?"

Charlie snorted a laugh and grabbed Nick's hand to pull him toward the stairs.

That night, Nick and Charlie curled up under the covers in Charlie's single bed. Nick had been torn between staying to be there for Charlie or going home to be there for his mum. But after a long text conversation with his mother, she had convinced him she would be okay as long as he did what he felt would help him the most.

And that was falling asleep tangled up like they were, with no room to forget each other was warm and breathing and there.

Nick was finally dozing off when he felt Charlie shift to look up at him from where he was snuggled against Nick's chest. Nick opened his eyes sleepily and glanced at the time. It was a quarter to midnight.

"Nick?" Charlie whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think everyone is asleep?"

"Yeah…"

To Nick's surprise Charlie rolled over, got out of bed and strode quickly to the door, which was, under instructions from Jane and Julio, ajar. Charlie shut the door with a soft click, then went back to the bedside to switch on the lamp.

The room was now bathed in warm yellow light, including Charlie and everything in it. With Charlie standing over him like that, Nick felt suddenly wide awake.

Especially when Charlie's hands dropped to the hem of his t-shirt and started to lift it off over his head. Nick could not contain the tiny gasp which escaped him as Charlie dropped the garment to the floor, a sleepy but certain glint in his eyes.

"Charlie…"

"Shhh," Charlie hissed softly. "We're going to have to be quiet."

He reached down to remove his pyjama shorts and Nick sat up in bed, eyes wide as heat flooded through him.

"Char," he gasped. "Are you sure you want this? I mean…"

Charlie stood up straight again, now only in his underwear, and looked more directly at Nick this time. "I'm sure. I know… last time was kind of a mess, and I really, really don't want that to happen again but I also don't want it to ruin this for us."

"Baby, I think it would take a lot more than that for this to be ruined," said Nick, pushing the duvet aside. "Come here."

Charlie crawled back in beside him, kneeling to grab the hem of Nick's t-shirt too. "Please may we have sex now, then?"

Nick laughed softly and Charlie felt the warm puff of air against his skin. "Well, since you asked so politely."

Their lips met lazily, gentle and slow but with that ever-present thrumming under current of desire. Nick's hands caught Charlie's waist, drawing him closer to him. They both only parted for the small amount of time it took for Nick to remove his t-shirt and drop it onto the floor beside the bed.

But instead of returning to his mouth, Nick kissed instead along Charlie's jawline, progressing further down his neck. His hands explored, up and over Charlie's narrow shoulders, all the while, Charlie doing much the same, hands moving across Nick's back. The action earnt Charlie a shuddering groan and Nick bent forward, scooping Charlie gently into his arms before lying him more comfortably against the pillows.

They moved against each other, languidly, indulgently - it was the middle of the night and they had to be quiet, had to be careful, but that was fine by them. They could take as long as they liked, revel in every touch, every kiss, every whispered gasp.

At some point the rest of their clothes joined the ones on the floor. Steadily, their touches grew more frantic, their kisses bolder. Every muscle in Nick's body seemed to contract at once: all his senses filled with softness, sweetness, the scent of Charlie's hair and skin, the sight of his closed eyes, the flutter of his eyelashes. Charlie. His Charlie.

And Charlie was clutching him back, holding Nick to him under the duvet which was still draped loosely over their hips even as they shifted and moved together, gasps collecting with their tongues between their open mouths.

Nick reached quickly and quietly for the bedside drawer and rummaged through the mound of socks, knowing that if they took any longer this would all be over before they'd truly started.

Just the sight of Nick covering his hand with lube was enough to make Charlie groan a little too loudly. Nick shushed him with a giggle - but as soon as he utilised his first finger, he had to find a more creative way to shut Charlie up. He kissed him again, every tiny and not-so-tiny noise Charlie made going straight through him as he progressed to three fingers -

"Charlie," he gasped. "I need -"

"Me too," Charlie whispered. "Fuck. Please, just get in me."

Nick didn't need to be asked twice. He pushed in slowly at first; no matter how desperate they both were, he didn't want to hurt either of them. But Charlie pulled him closer, practically whining with desperation at this point and Nick began to move. And then Charlie's legs were wrapped around him as well as his arms and in the cocoon of the soft duvet and warm skin.

Their lips stayed connected the entire time for fear of getting too loud, but eventually, quietness became impossible. As they both started to unravel, Nick's head flopped into the crook of Charlie's neck, which was not sufficient to muffle his cries completely. Charlie's forehead was almost feverish as it curled against Nick's shoulder in the last moments of bliss.

Gradually, they drifted back down to earth, still tucked up and joined together, breathing heavy but hearts beating perfectly in sync.

"I love it when you do that," Nick murmured, once they had reluctantly detached and settled down to cuddle.

"Hm?" Charlie mumbled sleepily. His eyes were lidded, halfway to sleep already.

"When you put your legs around me like that. I always feel so safe."

Charlie merely hummed, smiling a tired smile.

"I'll get the wipes, baby, you just lay there and let me clean you."

"Thanks, darling."

When Nick had done what he could with the emergency wet wipes, he chucked them quickly in the bin, pulled his pants on and joined Charlie back in bed.

Threaded together once again, Nick whispered, "Goodnight. I love you."

"I love you."

Only about an hour had passed when Charlie woke up again. For a while, he just lay there, breathing in the warmth and the quiet before he could no longer ignore his insistent bladder. He carefully clambered over the still sleeping Nick and started to search for his pants.

He padded across the hall toward the bathroom and turned on the light. His hair was a mess, and a pattern of darkening bruises marred his throat, down his shoulder. As he scrutinised them in the mirror, he poked at the marks lovingly - these marks he did not hate, did not think ugly, only the exact opposite.

He was still smiling sleepily when he exited the bathroom again and set off back toward his room. Just as he was nearing his door, however, a light switched on at the end of the hall and a silhouetted figure appeared in the doorway of his parents' room.

"Charlie!" Jane hissed.

Charlie froze an inch away from his bedroom door handle.

He turned to face his mother, an intimidating presence even as she stepped forward out of the light, becoming more than just a shadow.

"Sorry," he whispered. "I just needed the loo."

But as Jane's eyes flickered, taking in what Charlie was wearing, and what he was not wearing, Charlie knew that somehow, she could tell she had been deceived.

Nick rolled over, one arm reaching out only to find empty mattress beside him. At first, he thought it was only the lack of warmth against him that had awoken him but then he heard it - shouting from the hallway outside.

"How long has this been going on, Charlie? How long have you been lying to me?"

Shit. Nick flopped over onto his back and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"I'm sorry, mum, but we -"

"I don't need you to be sorry, I need you to be honest with me. How many times, Charlie?"

"N-not that many… We're being safe, I promise."

"That doesn't matter. You're underage, for goodness sake! You shouldn't be doing that at all! Is it that boy - is he coercing you?"

"No!" Charlie gasped. "No, of course he isn't - Mum, it's - it's really… God, but it's none of your business."

"It is if it's happening under my roof!"

Nick redressed as quickly as he could and was to the door, still debating whether he should go out there even with his hand on the door handle.

"I don't ask about yours and dad's sex life!" Charlie cried as Nick opened the door. "If you even still have one…"

Charlie looked up and saw Nick standing there just as Jane drew back her hand.

It happened so quickly that neither Nick nor Charlie could move to stop it.

Charlie rocked back slightly on his heels at the force with which Jane's palm connected with his cheek.

The remainder of the warmth and comfort he had been feeling drained out of Nick then as he stood there, frozen in his shock at what he had just witnessed. He made to take a step toward Charlie, but Jane rounded on him.

"Don't go anywhere near my son, do you hear me? You've done enough already! Did you think I wouldn't find out?"

"Please, just stop - mum, please -"

At the sound of Charlie's broken voice, Nick sidestepped Jane and went to him directly. Charlie was still rubbing his sore cheek, blinking tears out of his eyes.

"What do you need right now, baby?" Nick murmured, moving Charlie's hand away from his face so he could check the reddening mark just beneath his eye.

"What he needs is to not get an STD at fifteen!"

"I told you," said Charlie. "We're always safe."

"Well, we're going to get you tested as soon as possible, Charlie. And rest assured this is never happening again. There will be no more sleepovers at all. Not here. Not at Nick's."

"But Sarah's fine with us having sex. She doesn't think anyone's using anyone - she knows she can trust me with her son so why can't you trust Nick with yours?"

"She doesn't know you like I do, Charlie. You're so fragile, I only want what's best for you -" Jane took a step toward her son and, without thinking, Nick put himself between her and Charlie, one arm hooked around his side. He could feel the tension in the hand Charlie had wrapped in Nick's t-shirt.

"Mrs Spring, I love your son," said Nick. "I would never hurt him."

The fact that Nick even had to say it made zero sense to either of them. Wasn't it obvious? To everyone other than Jane, clearly. And Jane turned to glare at Nick now, and he swore he could see the danger literally spark in her disturbingly familiar blue eyes.

"What did I say, Nick? Get away from him right now. In fact, I want you out of this house. Now."

Nick and Charlie just stood there for a second, staring at Jane Spring in mingled fear and confusion.

"W-what?" Charlie breathed.

"Get out of my house. I don't know how to make it clearer, but you are neither needed nor wanted here. You never have been."

"Mum! What the fuck?" Charlie cried, stepping out from behind Nick again. "That's not true! I don't understand how you can't see how good Nick is -"

"How dare you speak to me like that?" Jane yelled.

"I-it's okay…" Nick said. "I'll go."

If it meant Jane would calm down and leave Charlie alone, then Nick would do just about anything.

"Nick…"

"Well, go on, then," Jane huffed.

"Mum, at least get dad to drive him home," Charlie implored. "It's gone midnight."

"Your dad has work tomorrow, Charlie -"

Charlie would be surprised if a single other person in the house was still asleep with all the noise they had been making but Nick turned to him again now and kissed him softly but firmly. In it was all the love he felt for Charlie, all the proof they didn't need to know that they were always both wanted and needed in any space they happened to occupy.

"I'll be fine, my love," Nick murmured.

"I'm sorry…" Charlie breathed as Nick stroked his messy curls. Tears were still shining in his blue eyes and Nick kissed his cheek tenderly.

"No s-words," Nick whispered. "Will you be alright?"

Charlie nodded bravely. "I love you."

"I love you, too. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Text me," Charlie implored. "When you get home. Please?"

"Of course."

Meanwhile, Jane had been stoically standing nearby, arms folded tightly over her chest, mouth in the thinnest of lines, determinately not believing the brightly lit signs of these two boys' love and respect for each other.

And as Nick turned and headed off down the hall, then disappeared down the stairs, Charlie felt the rest of his fight leave with him.

Jane opened her mouth to say something, but Charlie didn't care, didn't want to know what it would have been. "Goodnight, mum," he murmured, then sloped back into his bedroom and shut the door behind him with a snap.

She did not call after him, didn't yell at him to come back. He just stood there, leaning against the closed door for a minute, letting the last few tears fall silently.

Then, Charlie pushed himself away from the door holding him up and walked like a ghost to his bed. It was still warm, still enthused with Nick's scent and Charlie buried his face in the pillows, drying his wet cheeks, the left one still stinging.

By the time his phone buzzed from the bedside table, Charlie's tears had dried up completely and now he was left with only a cold kind of numbness.

NICK (1:11): I made it home ️3

CHARLIE (1:11): thank god! i'm so sorry you had to see/hear all that :(

NICK: (1:11): I'm sorry that happened at all!

CHARLIE (1:12): we'll be okay we're just going to have to be more creative on the sexy times front ;P

NICK (1:12): Just my house from now on by the looks of it

CHARLIE (1:13): i'm not sure how easy it's going to be for me to go to yours now… might have to get sneaky

NICK (1:13): As long as your mum keeps her fucking hands to herself jesus :(

Charlie rubbed a hand absently over the skin beneath his right eye. The residual pain was fading now but the memory was not.

CHARLIE (1:15): we should probably go to sleep, i'm so tired!

CHARLIE (1:17): did you already fall asleep?

CHARLIE (1:19): everything will be okay :* goodnight xxxxxxxx

Sleep would not reclaim Charlie as easily as it had Nick, however. His mother's words kept echoing around his head, backed up by those little voices in the back of his head of all the tormentors past. Their midnight activities felt like a distant memory now.

Charlie rolled over and pulled the covers up to his chin. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine the warmth surrounding him was in fact Nick and not just an otherwise empty duvet.

As he lay there, the battling thoughts in his head morphed steadily from shame into frustration, then all at once into anger - and suddenly he was wide awake and furious. Charlie threw the duvet back off him completely and got back out of bed.

He quickly found the blue hoodie and pulled it on over his pyjamas. A quick rummage through his wardrobe and he found some pale blue converse he hadn't worn in many, many months. They were a little tricky to put on but once he'd managed it, he grabbed his phone again from the side and blitzed out another text.

CHARLIE (1:35): can't sleep so i'm coming over. i'll be there in ten. let me in? xx

So much for staying at home, Charlie thought bitterly as he crept downstairs. He remembered back to the one time he'd snuck out like this before - but that time he had been so out of it mentally, it hadn't felt like such a big deal - and that time he'd had a much more dangerous purpose.

He used the spare key under the mat to lock the house behind him, then set off down Britannia Road. It was relatively warm for the early hours of the morning. There was no need for Charlie to think about where his feet were taking him. He could do this route in his sleep. But right now, in the darkness, every familiar-in-the-light tree, hedge and fence was distorted and looming. Charlie quickened his pace.

As he turned onto the alleyway connecting the two housing estates, he took out his phone again. Nick had not replied. He hadn't thought about what he would do if he got to Nick's house and he was still asleep? He was just entertaining the romantic idea of throwing stones at his boyfriend's window when he heard footsteps behind him.

Slowly, Charlie turned.

At the end of the footpath, illuminated only by the single flickering streetlight, long dark coat swaying in the light breeze, stood Mr H.

Charlie's mouth went dry as his hand tightened around the phone in his hand. "No!" he shouted, hardly knowing what he was doing, other than that he had to get away from that man. "Don't come any closer!"

He staggered back a step and heard, without needing to turn around, that he was now surrounded, trapped. There were at least two of them behind him. He could practically feel their breath on the back of his neck.

"Please," he gasped. He didn't dare look around, didn't dare glance at his phone. One wrong move…

Mr H was strolling casually toward him. If Charlie didn't know better, he'd have thought him a kindly professor-type - but Charlie knew better.

"My, my, you have been busy, haven't you?" said Mr H, dark eyes glittering.

Pretending he was just warming his hands, Charlie quickly slipped his phone back into his hoodie pocket. It wasn't difficult to pretend though, for he was shivering.

Charlie swallowed and hoped Mr H didn't expect him to answer. He was only a metre away now, studying him with a kind of casual interest - as if Charlie were some kind of interesting science experiment.

"You do realise that without that little recording device you are useless to us," Mr H continued. "Not to mention, a liability."

"I -" Charlie gasped. "I don't know what you're talking about. What device? I didn't -"

"Don't play stupid, Mr Spring." And suddenly the glitter in Mr H's eyes was a dangerous glint. "You have disappointed me at every turn, and it has all grown very boring, don't you agree?"

Fuck you, Charlie thought savagely. At least his mind was fighting back at least. If only he could get the words to form in his mouth. But that seemed practically impossible. Instead, he pushed all that energy, all that anger he had been feeling about his mum, about everything, into his feet.

He spun on his toes and ran, past the two men blocking him, across the grassy verge, sprinting with everything he had toward the road beyond.

Charlie may be fast, but Mr H's men were both taller and stronger. They were in front of him, cutting him off so quickly Charlie had no time to stop. He ran straight into their waiting arms.

"Where do you think you're going?" Mr H chuckled.

As the two men held Charlie fast, Mr H strode toward them, reaching into the inside pocket of his coat. Charlie struggled against the vice like hands around his arms, heart thundering loudly in his ears.

"I'm afraid you can no longer be allowed to walk around freely," said Mr H. "You have well out served your purpose, Mr Spring."

He knew it was fruitless, but Charlie continued to fight, to stamp and kick and hit any part of his captors he could - even as a hand clamped around the back of his hair. Mr H yanked his head into position, and before Charlie could do so much as shout out, Mr H plunged a red-feathered dart into his exposed neck.

The world tilted sideways. Charlie's vision blurred as he was lifted into the air by a pair of strong, uncaring arms.

In his final coherent thoughts, he found himself reaching into his hoodie pocket again - and he let the phone inside slip and fall out. He heard the distant clatter of metal as it hit the pavement. The rest of the movement left his arm and he felt it fall limply into empty space.

The last thing he remembered before he lost consciousness completely, was the sensation of being thrown roughly into the back of a van and the rumble of the engine as it started to move.