17. Gone

After a long night of tossing and turning, Sarah finally gave up on trying to sleep and got herself up and dressed for an early breakfast. The kitchen was bright and quiet this early, Nick and Portia both still asleep, Nellie only snuffling up sleepily from her basket.

"Sorry, Nellie," Sarah murmured as she pottered about, making tea and toast.

This was nice. This was good.

She had to keep herself busy or she'd fall apart. She must trust the police to find David. All she could do was hold down the fort here until he returned.

Sarah sat down at the table and was glad of Nellie's company as she shuffled over and plonked her head onto her knee. "Good girl," she said, patting the dog's ears. "Are you missing him too?"

Nellie whined softly and tilted her head. Sarah sighed. "And what are we going to do with the other one? Do you know why he came home so late last night, Nellie?"

"Boof!" said Nellie but she did not elaborate.

"Hm," said Sarah. "Fine. I know where your loyalties lie."

Nellie whined again and rested her head back on Sarah's lap. Sarah breathed a laugh and took a bite of her toast.

She was halfway through her first slice when her phone rang on the table beside her. Nellie looked up at the noise and whined particularly loudly this time.

Sarah felt like whining too at the sight of the name on her screen.

"Good morning, Jane," she said. Sarah was not in the mood for feigning politeness this morning, but it had to be done.

"I'd like to speak with my son, please," Jane barked, by way of greeting.

"Um… well, maybe try his bedroom?"

"Don't be clever, Sarah. Do you think I don't know where he's run off to?"

"I apologise, Jane. I thought Nick was staying the night at yours."

"He -" Jane paused. "He was. We had a bit of a - a disagreement - the three of us, and I sent Nick home."

Sarah blinked in shock. "But it was so late -"

"That's besides the point," Jane cut in. "I need to talk to my son, right now."

Still fuming internally, Sarah muttered. "Fine, fine. Hang on. They're still asleep."

"I don't care," spat Jane. "Wake them up. It's their fault if they're so tired."

Sarah used the motion of walking up the stairs to help calm her frustration.

"Are you there yet?"

"I'm going as fast as I can…"

Sarah made it to her son's door and knocked quietly. As she had suspected, there was no answer. Hoping against all hope that she was not about to walk in on something she really did not want to walk in on, she edged the door open slightly and poked her head inside.

"Oh," she murmured.

"Hello?" came Jane's sharp voice. "Are you still there?"

Sarah thought she might be getting a migraine. "He's not here."

"What? Of course he is!" Jane's voice was less steady now.

Sarah shut the door again on her sleeping son and headed quickly down the hall to the bathroom. The light was off and there was no sign of Charlie.

"Jane…" Sarah tried to swallow her sudden dread. "I don't think Charlie's in my house at all."

There was a lot of thumping and loud footsteps and doors opening and closing from the other end of the line and Sarah suspected Jane was experiencing a very similar kind of dread while searching her own house.

"Jane, are you still there?" Sarah leant against the closed bathroom door and looked at the opposite wall, adorned by primary school photographs. She looked into her baby boys' six and ten-year-old smiling faces. "Jane?"

"He's not here!" Jane returned to the phone. "Where else could he have gone?"

"Could he have gone to a friend's house?" Sarah suggested. "Tao's? Or Elle's? Does he have any relatives nearby?"

Jane exhaled audibly, and Sarah could practically see her shaking her head. "That doesn't make any sense. If Charlie were angry or - or upset or anything really he would - go to Nick."

Sarah was surprised to hear Jane say the words. She did understand then. Much more than she let on.

"For goodness sake, when I find him, he's going to be in so much trouble…" Jane trailed off and then there was a mixture of indistinguishable chatter and Sarah thought she heard Tori's voice.

The girl's voice was muffled but growing in panic just as much as her mother's. "I'm texting everyone I can think of, but most people aren't awake yet, mum. I don't understand. Why is he not at Nick's?"

Absent-mindedly, Sarah had moved away from the bathroom door, back down the hall to Nick's bedroom. She reached to open the door again and stood there on the threshold, gazing down at her child, still fast asleep.

"Jane?" she murmured. "I'll call you back, okay? We'll find him. Don't worry."

The call was disconnected from the other end with a sharp beep and Sarah blinked down at the phone in her hand for a second. For once, she understood Jane's accidental rudeness. Were they not currently going through the same thing? Something had happened to their boys.

And now she had to wake up her son and tell him that his boyfriend was most likely missing, just like David.

Sarah crept carefully into the room and hesitated. He looked so young, curled up in his bed, the duvet tangled around him, hair a wild mess of strands only a shade or two darker than her own. He'd already been through so much.

He was frowning in his sleep.

Sarah hoped he wasn't having another nightmare, because she realised she might be about to drag him into a waking one.

"Nicky?" She touched his shoulder and shook it gently. "Nicky, you need to wake up, baby."

Nick mumbled faintly in his sleep as he shifted and turned toward his mum's touch. He peeled his eyes open and blinked up at her in confusion. One look at the expression on her face was enough to get him to sit up, enough for him to know that something had happened.

"Is it David? Did they find him?"

"No, baby." Sarah sank down onto the side of the bed and patted Nick's leg over the covers.

"What is it, then? Is someone else gone?"

Nick watched her carefully. He noticed it was difficult for her to look at him. "Mum?"

"We're not sure, baby, but I think that might be the case."

Nick swallowed. "No," he breathed.

"Nicky… do you know where Charlie is?"

"No." It was like a hand had clenched around Nick's heart. "No…"

"Jane was just on the phone. She assumed Charlie was here. But he isn't. But he isn't at home either. Do you know of anywhere else he might have gone?"

But Nick was hardly listening. He reached automatically for his phone and unlocked it. His breath caught at the sight of the four missed texts from Charlie. And when he read the final one…

CHARLIE (1:35): can't sleep so i'm coming over. i'll be there in ten. let me in? xx

"Nicky? What is it? Did he text you?"

The phone in Nick's hand dropped onto the bed beside him as his arm went limp. Sarah turned toward him more urgently now. "Baby?"

"I f-fell asleep. I shouldn't have - I should have -" Nick tried to take a deep breath but not a lot happened.

"Breathe, baby," Sarah rubbed a hand up and down Nick's arm.

"He said he was coming here," Nick gasped. "At 1:35 this morning but I missed it and -"

"He never made it." Sarah finished with a grimace. "Sweetheart, what happened last night? I heard you come home very late."

Nick focused on where his hands were clenched together in his lap over the duvet. "It - it was horrible. Somehow Jane found out about us having sex and - it turned into this massive argument and - and -" he gulped. "She hit him again. And I saw her do it, but I couldn't do anything. She's his mum and I can't - and now he's - Mum, I need to find him."

In one great movement, Nick threw the duvet off and tore himself out of bed.

"Okay," said Sarah. "Well, I'm coming with you."

Neither Nick nor Sarah knew what they were expecting to find on their walk between River Crescent and Britannia Road. Summer was still persisting even if internally it felt like it was mocking them. The sky should not be that shade of blue, the sun should not be that bright.

Julio answered the door. He stepped aside to let them in at once. He was wide-eyed and messy-haired, having come home within a few hours of being at work to possibly one of the worst pieces of news of his life.

"Thank you for coming," he said as he shut the door again. "It's been a morning." Julio turned to Nick directly. "Do you know anything that could help us? Did he say anything or -?"

"Let's go through and sit down, shall we?" said Sarah. "We can compile all of our information at once, then."

Nick nodded gratefully to his mum and she ushered them all into the living room.

Oliver was curled up around his mum's side on the sofa. His scared little face paired with Tori's quiet fear made everything come crashing down around Nick in a big whooshing motion in his head. Without realising he was doing it, he sank into the nearest armchair, the ringing so loud in his head he could barely make out what everyone else was saying.

He couldn't pretend any more. This was actually happening. This had actually happened. Charlie was really gone.

Nick tried to take a deep breath, but it got stuck in his throat. His hands went to his hair and tugged, elbows on his knees as he tried to steady his breathing. He could feel the panic rising but knew he couldn't let it consume him. He needed to keep it together. He needed to be strong. Like Charlie.

"So something happened between here and there?" Julio was asking. "Between our house and yours?"

"That's what it looks like," said Sarah. "Between half past one and two in the morning."

Nick scrubbed at his face then, looked up and accidentally met Jane's eye across the room. An understanding passed between them then, without needing to say anything.

This is your fault, Nick thought. Of course Charlie had had enough of being in that house with you. Despite his self-sacrificing plan to stay at home, he had broken it because home no longer felt safe.

But Nick could read it in Jane's eyes that she was thinking the same things about him.

This is your fault, Jane was clearly thinking. You're the one who made Charlie disobey his parents' orders in the first place. If there had been no underage sex, there would have been no argument and therefore Charlie would still be here.

All Jane's reasoning was wrong, Nick knew, but that didn't stop it from being his fault, as well as hers. Because it was. Jane had hit her son. But all Nick had done was fall asleep.

"There's still nothing useful," said Tori, scrolling through her phone. "No one's seen him or heard from him. I don't even know most of these people."

"Facebook can only help so much," said Julio, with a deep sigh. "I think - we'd best report it. After all these people going missing, surely this is connected. They must have made some progress by now."

"Julio, no -" Jane spoke for the first time since the Nelsons' had arrived. "He's not - This isn't like the others. He's just run off somewhere. He'll come home soon, and he'll be grounded, that's all -"

Julio wrapped an arm around his wife and kissed her head. Nick could tell he was trying to hold it together as much as he was. "With everything we know now, that doesn't seem likely…"

A strangled kind of whaling sound came from Jane's mouth then and she clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Daddy?" Oliver asked quietly. "Where's Charlie?"

"We don't know, Olly," Julio said softly. "That's what we're trying to find out. We just think we might need some help from the police. But he's going to be fine, don't worry. We'll find him."

Jane's shining blue eyes found Nick's again, and she held his gaze this time. "Nick," she gasped. He blinked in surprise. "Do you agree? Do you think s-something's happened t-to Charlie? Has he been -?"

"Yes," Nick breathed. He was surprised at how cold and clear his own voice was. It reached his own ears as if someone else was speaking. "I think he's been kidnapped. Like David and like Sahar. We need to do whatever it takes to find him."

Charlie woke up to a curtain of dark hair hovering over him. He blinked the blurriness from his eyes and squinted up through the throbbing pain in his head into the worried face of Sahar.

"Thank god," she said. "He's awake."

Charlie tried to push himself up but as he moved, his head swam and the room, which was only just coming into sharper focus, tipped sickeningly sideways.

"Woah," said Sahar, reaching out to steady him by the shoulders. "Careful, Charlie. You need to take it easy for a bit while the sedative leaves your system. We all went through it. You should be better in a few hours."

Sahar helped Charlie sit up and lean against the wall behind him.

He was sitting on something squishy but thin. It was an old mattress, narrow and frayed with several holes and what looked like a few burn marks.

Sahar didn't move from where she was kneeling in front of him. Now his vision was coming back, he was able to study her face. She looked mostly the same as she had nine days ago when he had last seen her. Maybe a little thinner, her hair kind of tangled and her clothes worn but it was still his friend.

Charlie swallowed, his throat rough. "I'm sorry," he murmured.

"What?" Sahar blinked at him. "What on earth could you have to be sorry about?"

Charlie shrugged and shook his head, looking away. And there was David. He was sitting on another, similar mattress just across the small room, watching them anxiously. Charlie himself was surprised at just how relieved he was to see his boyfriend's brother.

"David," Charlie gasped. "You're okay?"

"I'm fine," said David. "Other than being kidnapped, I mean… How's - how's my mum? Is she doing okay? And Nick and Portia?"

"David, your mum is worried sick, everyone at home is," said Charlie. "Even I was worried. I - I'm glad you're okay."

David gave a sharp nod and looked down at his hands. He rubbed them together absently a few times, then looked back up at Charlie. "Oh my god," he said in sudden realisation. "My brother is going to be absolutely beside himself."

"Fuck," Charlie breathed, letting his head fall back against the wall holding him up. "Oh, god, Nick…"

He let his head fall into his hands and rubbed at his eyes, willing himself not to cry. Not here. But it was hard not to when he pictured how Nick might be doing right now. Had anyone noticed he was missing yet? Was Nick even awake yet? Charlie realised he had no idea what the time was. There were no windows in the room.

And that's when he saw the fourth and final occupant of the room.

In the corner, pale and thinner than last time he'd seen him, was Ben Hope. And he looked as if he'd been crying.

It was as if someone had dropped a bucket of ice down Charlie's spine and he felt every nerve inside him tense up. His hands clenched into fists. He could feel his fingernails irritate his damaged palms.

"What the fuck's wrong with you now?" David snapped, and Charlie was surprised he was not speaking to him, but to Ben. "You've been like this all morning. Since we woke up."

"It's okay, Ben," said Sahar, calmly. "We'll get out of here soon. The police must be closer now, remember what David said about us being all over the news?"

"Yeah," said David. "And now this one's here, efforts are going to be doubled. Everyone loves Charlie."

Ben's jaw tightened, almost twitching as he met Charlie's eye across the room. The contact made Charlie's stomach crawl and he felt physically sick.

"Come to think of it, you started getting all weepy around about the same time we all woke up and found we had a new cellmate," said David, looking between them both, frowning. "Do you two know each other or something?"

Charlie exchanged a look with Sahar. She knew that Ben was a dick, but she didn't know the extent of it - nobody did except for Nick and Charlie. But right now, several tears were sliding down Ben Hope's face and he didn't look so confident and put together as he usually did around his peers.

"Dude, why are you crying?" David implored.

"I'm not!" Ben spat. "I don't give a shit about - about -"

Charlie let out a snort of laughter. "About me? Yeah, I know that, Ben."

Ben glared at him, and Charlie could see the fear beneath the facade, clearer than perhaps ever before. The sight did nothing to comfort him. He had to turn away.

"Just keep him away from me," Charlie murmured. "Please?"

Sahar settled with her back against the wall beside Charlie, clearly confused but ready to have his back if he needed it. Meanwhile, David was gaping at Ben, at the reaction he had caused in Charlie.

"Mate, what did you do?" Was that a glint of a threat Charlie detected in David's stance right now?

"I didn't do anything," said Ben. "Mind your own business, mate. We're all in deep shit right now but that doesn't mean I want your pity. And it doesn't mean I have to tell you anything."

David held his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright."

The fury radiating off Ben right now was palpable. And then Ben turned to Charlie directly for the first time. "What the fuck do you think you're looking at? I suppose you're happy to see me here, aren't you?" He turned to David again. "Last time we saw each other, we got into a little disagreement and -"

"Last time we saw each other," Charlie spat. "Nick was punching you because you had just tried to rape me."

Silence.

Before Ben could little more than gape at him, Sahar gasped loudly and David yelled, "What the fuck? Mate, that's not on." David was shaking his head, glaring at Ben with more disgust than Charlie had ever seen in his face.

"As if!" Ben stammered. "Why the fuck would I come anywhere near you? I'm not a fag, I don't like -"

"There's no use denying it, you sick fuck," said David.

And with that, David got up and crossed the small space to sit on Charlie's other side by the wall, leaving Ben alone on the opposite side of the room, with nothing but the corner to hold him up.

Charlie thought maybe this was all some strange dream and he'd wake up soon but then David patted his knee awkwardly and said, "I've been wondering who gave him that black eye. My little brother's a fucking badass, isn't he?"

"Yeah," Charlie exhaled, still very aware of Ben's presence but feeling weirdly safer between his friend and his boyfriend's arsehole-of-a-brother. "I hope he's okay."

The police station doors snapped shut behind them.

Nick followed his mum and the Springs out into the sunshine, feeling like his whole world might be ending.

Charlie was officially missing.

None of the officers inside had been all that surprised, really. And Nick had tried his best not to lose his shit at them all for not doing anything to stop it, for letting it get to this point.

"Nick!"

He turned around, every movement feeling sluggish and slow. Several people were hurrying across the square toward him, and it took until they were practically in front of him to realise who it was.

Elle got there first and engulfed him into a hug, almost knocking him over into Tori who was standing numbly beside him.

"Oh my god, are you okay? What am I saying? Of course you aren't - Is there any news?"

She let him go, pulled away to study his face. Nick didn't know what she was seeing there but didn't think he wanted to know. If it was anything like what the inside felt like…

"Is he really gone?" asked Tao, uncharacteristically quietly. "Like, gone gone?"

Nick nodded. He tried to say 'yes' but the word wouldn't come out. He swallowed thickly and Elle pulled him into another hug. Numbly, he raised his arms to weakly hug her back.

He felt a pat on his shoulder and realised it was Darcy, with Tara and Aled beside her, all looking grimmer than he'd ever seen them.

"Th-thanks," he stammered. "How did you know I was here?"

"We didn't," Tara explained. "We've been looking for you all morning. You weren't answering your phone. We've been worried…"

"We thought maybe you'd want to come and search with us," said Darcy. "For Charlie."

"Oh." Nick looked at them all assembled there. "Right, okay."

Tao exhaled deeply. "I know it's probably useless but -"

"But you want to feel like you're doing something." Nick took a breath too, nodding. "Mum?"

Sarah had been standing a little way away, talking calmly to Jane and Julio. She looked up at him then, noticing the others for the first time.

"Hello everyone," she said, smiling sadly. "How's everyone holding up?"

Everyone shrugged and grimaced by way of answer. Sarah sighed.

"Yes, well, we'd better be getting home then, Nicky. There's no use hanging around here all day."

"Actually, mum, we were thinking of staying out for a bit. To search…"

"Oh, baby, I'm not sure that'll help, dear. Wherever David and Charlie are… I mean, if the police haven't found them then I'm not sure you lot have much of a chance."

"Mum, please," Nick gasped, panic flaring up in his chest. "I need this. I can't just go home and sit around while Charlie is still out there somewhere!"

Sarah pulled him into a hug and Nick found, for maybe the first time in his life, that he didn't want it. He patted his mum awkwardly on the back and wiggled away quickly.

"I really would like it if you came home," she said, patting his cheek. "But if this is what you need to deal with… everything, then… Just stick with your friends and be home before it gets dark, okay?"

"I will, mum. Thank you. I'm sorry…"

She ruffled his hair affectionately. "What for, baby?"

"I'm sorry for making you go home alone, while David is still gone and -"

"Hey, hey, what is it you and Charlie are always saying?" Sarah smiled. "No s-words."

Nick swallowed the lump that had long been forming in his throat and waved goodbye to his mum. As he turned to follow the Paris Squad back across the square, Tori appeared beside him again, having just ran to her parents and back.

"I'm coming with you," she gasped, catching her breath. "I can't stand being at home right now. We both remember how awful my mum can get when she's worried."

"Come on, then."

They decided to start by traversing Lakewood Park. None of them were under any illusion that they would find any trace of Charlie's whereabouts but, being surrounded by friends provided Nick with a much-needed distraction.

"I heard that argument last night," Tori said, as she and Nick walked side by side along the riverside path, a little behind Tara and Darcy but a little ahead of Tao, Elle and Aled. "I'm sorry my mum found out about you two like that. But… it was a bit stupid, having sex when everyone else is trying to sleep."

"Jesus, Tori." Nick felt his cheeks flush bright red. He sighed. "You're probably right. We tried to be quiet."

"Ugh!" Tori scoffed. "Enough. Did mum… hit him again?"

Nick turned his attention to his feet moving beneath him. "Yeah. She did."

"Fuck," Tori breathed. "I wasn't sure. And in front of you, as well. No wonder Charlie felt like running away. I don't blame him, and I don't blame you, Nick."

"Really?" Nick murmured. "Because I blame me."

"You fell asleep," said Tori. "At like half one in the morning, after a very busy night - that's not a crime. And Charlie would tell you the same if he were - if he were here. So, stop it, please."

It took several hours for them to scour every last inch of the park. They debated checking the cabin, but Nick found he didn't want to go anywhere near it - not without Charlie, and not when he was already feeling so unstable without him. Tara and Darcy took Aled and Tori along to check it, since the latter two hadn't been yet, and Tao and Elle led Nick over to the little park kiosk to get some lunch.

The three of them were quiet as they picked over their chips. Nick didn't feel much like eating but tried to force himself to finish at least some of it. But food reminded him of Charlie. Everything did. The nausea was like a constant weight in the pit of his stomach. Would he throw up? Would he burst into tears? He didn't know but for once, he didn't really care.

He just wanted Charlie.

"When we find them," Tao said quietly, sipping his drink. "Wherever they are. Do you think they'll all be in the same place? In the same room?"

"I dunno," said Elle. "But I hope so. That way Sahar and Charlie at least have each other. If they were locked up alone." She shivered. "I just think that would be worse."

"But if they're all in the same place," Nick said, abandoning the rest of his lunch. "That would mean Charlie is trapped in a room with David and Ben."

"Shit, you're right," said Tao. "I don't know what would be worse, being alone or stuck with Ben Hope. And we've all heard the horror stories about your brother."

"They don't compare to the horror stories about Ben Hope," Nick muttered.

Tao and Elle exchanged a glance, then frowned across the picnic table at Nick.

"What exactly is the deal with him?" Elle asked carefully. "I know he's kind of a dick but…"

Nick's hand clenched into a fist beside his drink, and he quickly hid the shake in it under the table.

"I can't tell you exactly. It's Charlie's choice if he ever tells you but… let's just say he deserved a lot more than a punch in the face for what he did at Otis' party."

The three of them had all pushed their food away, unfinished. They gazed down at the table for a few minutes, Nick's knee bouncing increasingly erratically under the table. Until he could stand sitting still no longer.

"I need to go. I need to keep looking," he said, standing up.

Tao and Elle followed suit, collecting all their rubbish to discard in the nearby bins.

"I'll message the others," said Elle. "Where do you want to look next?"

In the end, they decided to walk back toward Nick's house, so they could follow the route Charlie would have been walking when he was taken. Nick had already walked it once of course, this morning, but that felt like a lifetime ago and he and his mum hadn't gone as slowly as he'd have liked.

Once they made it to River Crescent, Tao suggested going into Nick's house and bringing Nellie with them. Nick hesitated, Nellie walks being something he did with Charlie. The two of them were so intrinsically linked in his head and his heart that it felt wrong somehow.

But Tao and Elle convinced him otherwise and soon, the three of them were accompanied by their furry friend. And she was very much welcome, bringing with her all the uncomplicated love and support she was such a natural expert at.

Nick let Elle hold Nellie's lead, much to both of their delight. She and Tao walked on either side of Nick, like two pillars holding him up. He was glad of them and Nellie, but he was still feeling increasingly as if one big shove would have him falling into a state of pure devastation.

The going was slow between River Crescent and Britannia Road. Tao had slowed right down, in full clue-finding mode, but Nick could tell he was only doing so to distract himself from falling apart. It seemed to be working for Tao though, so Nick tried it too. Every hedge, every crack in the pavement, every drain - who knew what they were looking for exactly, but Nick was desperate. They all were.

Even Nellie seemed to sense something was going on. Nick wondered whether she realised Charlie was not there. She loved Charlie. Obviously.

They turned onto the shortcut footpath connecting the housing estate Nick lived on and the one Charlie did. The path was lined with grass on either side here. There was one lamp post in the far corner with a dog-waste bin beside it. The pavement curved off toward the right where there was a short stretch of narrow path between two hedges which led to the houses beyond.

Nick remembered that horrible night, months ago now, when he had found Charlie under that lamp post, having run after him when he'd run from yet another altercation with his mother. Charlie had been inexplicably tipsy then, Nick remembered. He still had no idea where Charlie had managed to procure the beer Nick had found at his feet.

The memory shot a shiver down Nick's spine, and he distracted himself by joining Tao and Elle's search through the grass. It was a bit long and scraggly, in need of a cut, but through the green strands, Nick saw it. A glint of metal.

A step closer and Nick realised what it was.

Charlie's phone.

The second his hand closed around it, all of the energy left him and his knees buckled forward until he was sitting on the grass verge, staring at the familiar phone in his hands - the final shove.

Through blurry eyes, Nick's hand absent-mindedly squeezed the on button and the screen lit up. A large crack had fissured across his and Charlie's photographic selves. There they were, kissing at the top of the Eiffel Tower, another lifetime ago.

Nick sucked in a breath but when he exhaled it turned into a dry sob… until it was no longer so dry, and the tears dripped down into the cracks. He clung to the phone for it was all he had to hold on to.

From a distance, he could hear his friends calling him. And then a wet nose was snuffling at his cheek, and a rough pink tongue wiped some of his tears away.

"Nellie -" he gasped and fell against his dog, arms around her as he buried his face in her neck.

"Nick? Nick?" It was Tao. "It's gonna be okay, it has to be."

He and Elle had made to Nick's side and were now both crouching down on either side of him.

"What's -?" Elle noticed the phone in his hand. "Oh, that's Charlie's! That means he was here, that means -"

"It doesn't mean anything!" Nick cried. "All it means is that Charlie is - is fucking gone and I - What if he's hurt? What if they've hurt him? What if he's -?"

"Shut up," said Tao sharply. "Shut up right now."

And Tao leant over Nellie to wrap his arms around Nick. Elle did the same and the four of them sat there on the scruffy grass verge for a long time, crowded around the phone that had all at once brought answers and more questions.

"I know what it's like to lose him," Nick breathed. "I can't go through that again."

Sahar had helpfully explained that two meals were brought per day, usually at what they assumed was lunch time and dinner time, though it was difficult to tell exactly. And so, when lunch was dropped off a few hours later, Charlie was not surprised by it. It was accompanied by two men whom Charlie did not recognise - it wasn't the ones who had been with Mr H before. But they were both tall and bulky like those had been.

One of them stood guard by the door while the other set the tray down on the floor in the narrow strip between the two lines of mattresses. Neither of them said a word, or even really looked at their captors.

None of Charlie's cellmates moved a muscle while the men were there, no one made a single sound. But as soon as they were gone and the door clinked shut behind them, both Ben and David dove for the tray and started devouring their soup with reckless abandon. When it seemed like Charlie wasn't going to move away from his position by the wall, Sahar went over to get the remaining two bowls and handed one to him, before settling back down beside him.

He offered her a poor excuse for a grateful smile. He knew he was not going to eat this. He glanced down at the soggy vegetables floating in the murky soup. Sahar was already halfway done when Charlie offered her his.

"That's okay," she said. "You eat that. We need to keep our strength up."

"I don't want it," said Charlie. "It shouldn't go to waste though."

"I'll have it!" said David, already having finished his own. "I'm starving."

Charlie moved forward to hand the bowl over.

David had moved over into the middle of the room, away from Charlie and Sahar, closer to Ben, acting as a kind of buffer between the two sides of the room. Charlie was grateful for this strange turn of events, but he was still on edge. He wasn't sure if it was because of Ben or just because of this place.

But Ben had not said a word since his revelation this morning and that was fine by Charlie.

All Charlie knew was that he needed to get out of here as soon as possible. He had to get home. He had to get back to Nick.

"Sahar?" he murmured.

"Mmhm?"

"What happened to Helen and Tony? Have you seen them at all?"

"Oh," Sahar set her empty bowl down. "They were here. Right up until yesterday morning."

"Where did they go?"

"We don't know, Charlie. The people here seemed to be way more interested in them than us though. None of us have left this room except during the bathroom trips. But they took Tony and Helen out more often - I don't know where they went or what they were doing. When they came back, they never told us much."

"They were being tortured, I told you," said Ben. "You saw the state of Tony's hand that one time."

Sahar swallowed thickly. "Maybe," she breathed. "But yesterday morning the men came and took them again. We didn't think anything of it but…"

"They never came back," Charlie finished with a shudder.

"They're probably dead," said Ben plainly.

David rounded on him. "Will you shut the fuck up, mate? Nobody cares what you have to say."

"Just because you're too scared to face the truth," Ben spat. "None of us are ever getting out of here." He turned then, to look directly at Charlie. "What happened to Helen and Tony, that's going to be us - so you'd better get used to the idea."

Charlie held Ben's gaze determinedly, a chill going right down his spine.

"Back off," said David, moving to block Charlie from Ben's torment. "You don't get to speak to him."

"David…" Charlie gasped. "Why -?"

David whipped back around to look at Charlie. "You're still an attention seeking prick, but no one deserves to be sexually assaulted - especially not by such an ugly fucker like this one here."

Charlie blinked. "Wow, thanks, David. It's nice to know you have some morals."

That evening, Charlie ignored another measly meal of boiled potatoes and chicken, insisting that Sahar at least share the portion with the others. By this point his stomach was rumbling louder and louder but the feeling was comforting. Familiar. It was dangerous, he knew, but he supposed he needed as much control as he could get now more than ever.

And then it came time for bathroom breaks.

Four guards arrived this time, the two who had brought the food stood guarding the others while the two others escorted Ben out of the room and down what looked like a narrow corridor.

While he waited for the three others to be done, Charlie kept as quiet and still as he could. The others seemed to know the usual routine of who got to go when. And Charlie predicted he'd be last, since he was the newest. He kept expecting his fellow prisoners not to come back, or else to come back battered and bruised. But it looked like they really were only going out to use the facilities.

David flopped back down on his mattress and one of the guards grunted toward Charlie. Much to his own annoyance, he could not stop himself from flinching. He caught Sahar's comforting eye.

"You'll be fine," she whispered, and Charlie got to his feet.

It was kind of nice to stretch his legs, he thought, he had been sitting crouched on the lumpy mattress all day after all, and before that he'd been hauled roughly into the back of a van.

Charlie followed the guard from the room, entirely too aware of the large man at his back. The corridor beyond really was very narrow - there was hardly room for the bulkier of the guards to walk comfortably. Hardly room to slip between his captors and run. Run where, he didn't know.

He desperately wanted to look behind him, to figure out where the hell they were exactly, but he had not missed the large and very sharp looking knives strapped to each of the guards' belts.

Down the corridor they progressed, and Charlie trained his eyes on the yellowing carpet at his feet until they reached a door at the very end and the man in front pushed it open.

"Five minutes," he grunted.

Charlie hesitated. But it was a moment too long because the man behind him gave him a shove - and Charlie stumbled into the room before hearing the door click locked behind him.

He caught himself with his hands against the tiny, cracked sink and stifled a whimper. Shut up, said the voices in his head. Don't be so pathetic. Jesus.

The bathroom was tiny. Only about a metre square of floor between the sink, a toilet and a little shower with a thin, rather mouldy looking curtain.

Not really wanting to but knowing he should while he could, Charlie used the toilet, then washed his hands with a cheap bar of soap that smelt horribly musty and sickly. That smell was definitely going to haunt him long after it had faded from his hands.

A sudden sharp wrap on the door made him jump.

"Hurry up!" came a gruff yell from outside. "We don't have all day for you to fix your make up!"

There was a muffled chortle of masculine laughter and Charlie cringed internally.

He grabbed a toothbrush from the packet by the sink and started to brush his teeth. While he did, his mind raced wildly. If he was going to fight, to escape, he would have to use anything he could to help him. He studied the window above the sink. It was truly tiny, not big enough to fit through even if he could find a way to climb up to it and smash it. There wasn't even a latch to open it normally.

Heart beating loudly in his ears, he stopped brushing to look more intently at the pack of ten cheap toothbrushes. Wilko own brand he realised. He couldn't imagine any of the men here just strolling into Wilko to buy supplies.

He rinsed the toothbrush in his hand and looked at it closely. As he held the plastic in both hands, he tested its strength cautiously. There was a fair bit of give - if he just put a little more pressure -

The door behind him clicked unlocked, and then slammed open with such force that it bounced off the side of the shower tray. Charlie dropped the toothbrush, it clattered into the sink as he scrubbed a sleeve over his mouth.

"Out, now," the man spat. He grabbed Charlie's arm and yanked him back out into the hall. "Should have known having a twink like you here would only be a bigger pain in the arse."

The other man guffawed and reached a hand out to ruffle Charlie's hair. Charlie instinctively tried to duck out of reach but there was simply not enough room. The feeling of the man's rough hand against his scalp made his skin crawl.

"We could give him a pain in the arse, couldn't we, Doug?" He crouched down to look directly into Charlie's face, as if he were a child - which only made Charlie's stomach reel more. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Charlie's blood ran cold. He forced himself to keep looking at his feet, at that horrible yellow carpet - but Doug grabbed his chin and yanked his head back up to look at him.

"My colleague here just asked you a question." Doug's blunt fingernails dug into Charlie's chin as the man tightened his hand. "Is that what you want, you sick little shit?"

"No!" Charlie gasped out. "Please, don't -"

Doug threw Charlie's chin out of his grasp and shoved him again, forward to follow the other man back down the corridor.

When Charlie was back in the room with the others and the guards had long gone, he curled up on his mattress and buried his head deep into the fabric of the blue hoodie he was still wearing. The hoodie he and Nick shared. It no longer smelt like his boyfriend, but it would always remind him of him. And right now, he needed all the reminders he could get.

Once the sun had started to go down, Tao and Elle walked Nick and Nellie home to the door. Charlie's phone had remained in the back pocket of his shorts all afternoon. With little else left to occupy them, Nick and his friends had taken to strolling between the two houses, tracing Charlie's steps and back again. Over and over.

The monotony had helped Nick focus, helped him not to fall apart - again.

Still, it had been a long, emotional day, and things weren't looking much better even as he let himself and Nellie into the house.

Sarah was sitting in the kitchen with Portia, both of them with large gin and tonics in hand. The two of them were quiet when Nick entered, quiet in their shared sadness.

Nellie plodded over at once and flopped her head onto Sarah's lap.

"There's some pasta in the fridge for you, baby," said Sarah. "I can heat it up for you if you like."

Nick shook his head. "No, thanks. I -" He gulped. "I'm not very hungry."

Shit. He could feel the tears forming again and for some reason, did not want them to fall in front of others.

"I think I'm just going to go to bed."

"Alright," said Sarah, her own eyes shining. "Get some sleep, baby. Goodnight."

Her words reached Nick as if he were underwater, foggy and distorted. Despite the tears falling down his face as he climbed the stairs, the rest of him felt numb. He thought maybe he was shivering, though.

As he showered and redressed into pyjamas, still no warmth found him.

He shut himself in his room and just leant against the door for a long moment. His eyes flitted over the space. So much of it was taken up by Charlie in his mind. Not even just Charlie's things scattered about seamlessly with his own, not even just the photographs of him pinned to the walls, but the walls practically breathed of Charlie.

He fished Charlie's phone from his shorts and set it down on the bedside table beside his own. He just stared at them both before clicking Charlie's lock screen on once again.

"Where are you?" he murmured into the silence.

He quickly shut the phone off again and strode away from it. While Charlie had been in the hospital, his phone had been a tremendous comfort but now… well, it was not.

Nick slumped down onto his beanbag chair and pulled his laptop toward him. He was under no pretence that he would actually be able to sleep tonight. Possibly never again if Charlie was never -

He shook the world-ending thought from his head.

Nick gazed at his Facebook timeline, at the post bearing Charlie's school photo which had been shared thousands of times at this point. "Charlie…"

The numbers swam before him. He himself had hundreds of notifications but he left them unread. This hardly seemed real.

He knew all of them were people asking about Charlie, looking for Charlie. He glimpsed several names and profile pictures he recognised, several he knew for sure had bullied Charlie in the past, several he knew hadn't given two shits about him until now - now he was all kidnapped and interesting.

There were also the hundreds of names and faces he didn't recognise. He was almost certain most of them didn't know Charlie in the slightest. What was wrong with the internet these days? Not everything was a true crime podcast, for fuck's sake.

With a surge of anger, Nick pretty much slammed the laptop shut again.

He spotted the sleeve of the green jumper poking out from under the bed and grabbed it. Once it was on him, around him, he could almost imagine Charlie was here again right now.