Functioning In the Real World Chapter 2
Yay! I got three reviews on my first chapter! Thank you VampireLadii2, sakuya yagami, and G. Ai Inoue (Sorry to those I missed)! You guys really made my day! And, the more reviews, the faster new chapters come, so hurray for all!
CHAPTER TWO, START!
"No… NO!" Ichigo yelled. He was in fetal position at the top of the staircase, much to the confusion of his pathetic family. Grimmjow couldn't stifle his devilish smirk; it was just too good! He didn't even feel like throwing any punches.
"Son?" Isshin asked carefully. "SON? IS THIS WHAT MY GRANDCHILDREN WILL—"
Again, Grimmjow tuned the loud man out. After a few minutes of useless (though hilarious) screaming from both sides, Ichigo finally came downstairs to greet his "guests." By greet, the author really means: "Get the hell out my house, bastard—"
Suddenly, Ichigo found himself with a mouthful of foot. "IS THAT HOW MY SON TREATS HIS GUESTS?" Grimmjow could barely hold back his laughter now, "THESE ARE OUR NEW NEIGHBORS; TREAT THEM WITH RESPECT!"
"But dad, I—" Ichigo tried; even Grimmjow knew it was useless against the giant stubborn man.
"NO BUTS!"
"… Fine. Come in. Have some… meatloaf," Ichigo managed to say with a miserable, forced smile. The way Ichigo said it, the word meatloaf sounded like a torture device that had recently killed all his loved ones.
…But maybe Grimmjow was reading too far into it.
"…So, how do you and Ichigo know each other?" Karin asked a few minutes into the awkwardly silent dinner.
"School," Strawberry answered quietly.
"Actually," Grimmjow smirked, a devilish gleam in his eye, mostly aimed at Ichigo, "Strawberry and I are secretly world-renowned gymnasts who travel the world together, mostly performing in strip circuses."
Silence.
"Where the hell did you pull that one from?" Strawberry yelled to Grimmjow, only adding to the hysterical laughing fits Isshin was suffering from.
"So that's where you were when you were gone for that whole month!" Yuzu pointed out, as if all was then clear to her.
"No, Yuzu, it's not, he's just—I know him from school, and-and—GRIMMJOW, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Ichigo screamed at Grimmjow and Aizen through Isshin's still raucous laughter.
"You're just jealous because the ladies pay me more," Grimmjow smirked. At that, Ichigo's face reddened to that of…well, a strawberry. He bared his teeth, and his eyes seemed to burn with anger…
"So you two are circus strippers?" Aizen asked amusedly outside of the Kurosaki home.
"Yup."
"And the ladies like you more?"
"Uh-huh."
"So we're going to put some ice on your eye when we get home?"
"Absolutely."
"Now, before we all go off to bed, I wish to assign you all your rooms," Aizen explained to the ten Espada before they could ask Grimmjow how he got his black eye. "These rooms are assigned by number, thus: Espadas one and two you share a room,"
Starrk paled considerably while Luisenbarn gave a look of disbelief, "Espadas three and four, you share a room,"
Tia Harribel looked calmly over to a paler than usual Ulquiorra, "Espadas five and six, you will—"
"Oh, hell no!" screamed Grimmjow. "Nnoitra'll probably try to kill me in my sleep!"
"Sleep with one eye open then," Aizen commanded, his voice cold. "So, I believe you understand the pattern here: seven and eight, nine and ten. You will be sharing rooms accordingly, is that clear?" Aizen asked, the cold commanding ring in his words still there.
"Yes, Lord Aizen," the Espada responded, though some were obviously sulking.
"Good. And in the morning I will be assigning you all chores, is that clear?"
"Yes sir."
_I AM PAGE BREAK, WATCH ME DANCE!_
"Let's establish one thing, okay?" Nnoitra Jiruga spoke in his and Grimmjow's room, a warning look on his face.
"Uh, sure," Grimmjow muttered, not in the mood to fight. Or get killed in his sleep.
"You have your privacy, and I have mine, got it?" the fifth Espada hissed. Grimmjow couldn't agree more.
"Yup," he answered, flopping on his bed.
After a few moments of silence, the two Arrancars heard yelling from another room: "I AM A KING, YOU HEAR ME? I DESERVE THE 'KING' BED! IT IS MINE BY RIGHT!"
Grimmjow couldn't stifle the chuckle that came at the first Espada's expense. Across the room, he heard the same sound—though slightly more… snake-y*—from Nnoitra.
"Those two are so gonna kill each other," the fifth Espada laughed.
"I know, right? And can you imagine how quiet it is with Ulquiorra and Tia?"
Another round of laughter, this time louder.
"And Granz is probably gonna try to experiment on poor Zommari," Grimmjow added.
"RAPE!" Nnoitra imitated in a shrill voice. The two just laughed harder.
"And Yammy…" Grimmjow guffawed, tears in his eyes.
"Yammy's probably gonna freakin' eat that fish tank thing!" Nnoitra finished, clutching his stomach in laughter.
"Fish tank?" Grimmjow laughed.
And that was how the rest of the night was spent—with all except the fifth and sixth Espada sitting quietly in their beds, listening to the maniacal laughter coming from the third room.
The next morning, Grimmjow left his room to find a slip of paper on his door. Hmm?
"Hey, Nnoitra! I found our chore list!" Grimmjow called.
"Ooh, what do I have?"
"Let's see here… you have… cleaning the bathrooms, hah!" Grimmjow laughed, secretly thanking whoever was up there for not giving Grimmjow that kind of hell.
Nnoitra scowled. "Oh, yeah? What do you have?" he asked.
"Uh… I have…" Grimmjow checked the list, "grocery shopping."
…Not bad; though Grimmjow vaguely wondered what hellish chores the other Espada had… Not that he could imagine Ulquiorra or Luisenbarn doing any form of manual labor.
…Aaaand, there's chapter two! I hope you enjoyed. I think I'll be updating every other day, so… yeah. Bye!
*This is Grimmjow's PV, so I felt that this would be a better adjective than "snakelike."