"Look, Mehmed II!"
"Where? Where is he? I'll kill that fucker!"
"Um.. He's... Over there!" (Points frantically)
(Spins madly) "Show your face you ugly bastard! I'll teach you to chase my wife into a river! And NOBODY, I mean NOBODY gets way with putting MY head on a spike! Get out here you fat impotent moron! Where'd you-...Oi..."
"Ohhh SHIT!" (Runs)
"I don't think so you...you...you TURK!"
Thirty minutes later...
Vlad shoved the flat end of the stake firmly into the ground, then stepped back to admire his work.
"I'd forgotten how satisfying that is... must do it more often..." He mused.
With that, he settled down at the table overlooking his masterpiece, and proceeded to enjoy a nice glass of aged Hungarian...wine.