Author's Note:
Hello again avid readers! I know, it has been a few years. At the end of the last chapter, I realized that I had kind of written myself into a hole, and had no idea how to get out. Then, I changed jobs. Then I changed jobs again.
As the months passed and I kept reading other fan fiction, I would find myself thinking of this story. One of my biggest pet peeves is reading a good story with a great concept and well written world, and all of a sudden it stops. The next action is of course to check the last update date, and when I see that it has been awhile, my heart instantly drops, and I realize as I press the "follow" button that I might not ever see another chapter.
Of course, this brings me guilt when I think of my own story and how I've abandoned it for the past two years. Then I start to think about how I can dig my way out of this hole. Usually, I give up after a few hours. Today, I decided to reread my work, and I realized that maybe I hadn't dug as deep as I thought I had. I had made the mistake of thinking in a way that made assumptions about where the characters were that was based on my own knowledge, not the reader's perceptions. To be more specific, I had thought that Alexa had shared her history in her current life with the Cullens, but I never actually wrote that. I thought I had. Two years… it took me two years to realize this. I'm such a shit.
All of this being said, I've completely lost my notes and outlines for this story. Please forgive me if I struggle to get back into the same writing style that I first wrote with, or if the chapters and character interaction have lost some flow. All I can really remember is how I want this fight to end, the things Alexa will change from canon, and what I want in the epilog.
For those of you returning, welcome back. I will be periodically going back to previous chapters and editing author notes to help explain my writing style and choices, but other than a few grammar errors I wish to correct, I'll leave everything else as is. I missed you guys ?
Chapter 10: Justice
"You killed a man?", Alice exclaims, her eyes so wide they remind me a bit of a startled owl. Looking at Rosalie next to her, I see the same expression. Both women are practically frozen with tension as they lean on the car, arms crossed.
"Uh, yeah?", is my very intellectual reply. Smooth Alexa. "I thought I'd told you guys this. How could it be surprising? Yes, there is blood on my hands. Yes, it was Justified. Its what I do guys, why is this such a shock?" I'm honestly a bit confused by their reactions. In essence, vampires are predators… even if these particular vampires have curbed their instinctual appetites.
"How old were you when this happened?", Rose asks, leaning out of her relaxed position to come to my side, seeming to want to escort me to my car. Alice joins her on my other side, and together the three of us start a slow stroll in the direction of my Civic.
"It was a few years ago in Texas. I had been watching a guy who worked in my school. He had the signs, and one day I was able to follow him into the boiler room at the school. He had a girl shackled to a section of chain link down there… it was disgusting. His back was turned, so I took my shot. It was a good kill." Both girls are looking at me with rapt attention as we reach the door to my car. Their attitudes are starting to make me feel defensive. "What gives you guys? Why the third degree?"
Alice is the first to speak into the silence, "I think… I think it just shocked us a little. It is one thing to hear about your story and how you have lived and died, it is another to be hit in the face with specifics. It brings everything into focus… kind of like Jasper."
This brings me up short. "Jasper?"
"Yeah. With him, it is easy to forget his past. He is quiet, unassuming, the perfect gentleman. But when the family is threatened, as it is now, he turns into something else. He was once called 'The Major', and not just for his previous military rank. Others have called him the 'God of War'. When the poo hits the fan, Jasper is a completely different person. He's dangerous, deadly even, and a very efficient killer. It is easy to forget that the gentleman isn't all he is."
I smile at the tiny girl. "Dude… you just said 'poo'".
Alice grimaces and swats at my arm, "Shut up."
"Look." Rosalie interjects with a little more force than I think she means. "It's just a surprise is all. It's one thing to hear about your history, and another to hear specifics. I think this is the first time we've gotten details, other than the story with Didyme. And you can't compare that to this! That story was about a scared girl in the wrong place at the wrong time. This… this was a straight up assault on another human being! It was a killing! If it wasn't for the girl in the room, it would have been murder! Doesn't this bother you?"
As I stare Rosalie in the eye, I feel the need to make some things clear. "No Rose. It doesn't bother me. Please, try to understand… I'm not 17. I may look it, hell usually I even act it, but inside this body is a soul that has spent the last two millennia being honed into a weapon. I've had battle training, I've taken lives, and I'll do it again and again for as long as the Goddess will have me. No, I don't enjoy killing. I do, however, take great pleasure in saving. I saved that girl's life Rose, and who knows how many others might have come after her. Sick fucks like that don't stop at one. These are the monsters I was made to cleanse the earth of, and I will NOT feel guilty for it."
With one final stare at both of them, I heave open the door to my car and toss myself inside. After backing from the space with perhaps a bit more gusto than was strictly required, I gun the engine, and make it home in record time.
It isn't until I'm situated on my bed that I let myself review the entire conversation, and I'm surprised by the hurt that I feel in my chest. Perhaps I cannot help it if I've changed their perceptions of me a bit, but I thought that they understood. I thought that Rosalie, at least, would have understood.
In the following weeks, practice and strategy sessions with the wolves had become a regular occurrence. While Bella and I would spend our school days half asleep, the vampires in our lives would do their best to try to convince us that we "didn't need to come tonight", or that they were "just doing the same stuff that they had done the night before." I don't think they understood that Bella needed the peace of mind that Jacob's presence brought to her, regardless of the tension between he and Edward. As for myself, who wouldn't miss the chance to watch Emmett get his ass handed to him over and over as he imitated a newborn?
Of course, the wolves, apart from Jacob, didn't understand why either of the 'humans' were there every night either. Tensions at the first meeting were so high I thought the entire alliance between the supernatural groups would fall apart right then and there. The whole thing was exasperating, but the vampires did a good job explaining away our presence without giving away my secrets, not that I asked them to keep them, and that was that.
On the third night of practice, Rosalie came to sit with me at a small outcropping of rocks Bella and I were relaxing on. I can't say I was surprised by her approach, but a small part of me had been dreading this.
"Alexa," Rosalie began "may I speak with you a second?"
Motioning to the ground beside me, I didn't take my eyes off the field. I couldn't. I didn't want to see the judgement that was in her eyes again after the police station. With a small sigh, Rosalie settled herself near my left side.
"I'm sorry."
Eyes wide, I whipped my head around to her so fast I heard my neck pop. "What?" was all I could think to say. An apology from Rose was the last thing I had expected. Even I knew that Rosalie did not apologize.
"I said I'm sorry." Rose stated again, her eyes on mine. "Look, it is hard for me, sometimes, to remember who you are. What you are. And you don't deserve that from me. I've thought about what you said the other night, after what we heard you tell Charlie. I realized… I would have done the same." Rosalie gently took one of my hands in hers, and I gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. "If I were in your shoes, and I had found a man torturing someone, I would have killed him too. And no matter what anyone in my family says, I wouldn't feel any shame for it. So, I'm sorry for making you feel as if I didn't understand. I do."
The tears that had sprang to my eyes at her confession surprised me. In my lifetimes, tears were shed for pain, either physical or emotional. I couldn't remember the last time I had them for happiness. "Thank you Rose," was all I could think of to reply.
As the remaining weeks whittled down, Bella, Jacob, Rosalie, and I, made a habit of settling down to watch the practice fights for at least a few hours every night. Eventually, Bella would fall asleep curled in Jacob's fur, which I'm sure infuriated the hell out of Edward. Being of the mindset that I would 'sleep when I was dead', the thought gave me a small chuckle every time, would leave me to have deep conversations with whichever Cullen wanted to chat. Hell, sometimes the wolves even wandered over for a question or two.
Carlisle would ask me about careers that I had held, which types of work I had found the most interesting or rewarding, while Esme was more interested in the places I had lived. Alice couldn't help but ask about the different cultures I had been a part of, in particular the clothes of each era and what they were made of. Honestly, that girl is obsessed. Even Edward would wonder over every now and then. His visits would inevitably end in his trying to either poke holes in my 'story', or him storming off after I refused to capitulate to his religious ranting. He finally stopped visiting all together when I had asked him why he wasn't a member of a church, why he hadn't taken confession, or why he didn't just become a person of the cloth already? I don't even think religious studies had occurred to him if his face was anything to go by.
But my favorite times by far, were the hours that I spent with Rosalie.
"Jesus, its freezing up here! Who's bright idea was it to stick the humans on top of a mountain in the dead of winter?" I couldn't help but complain. Sure, Bella got to snuggle with the living embodiment of an industrial furnace, but does Alexa get a wolf? Nope! Honestly, I needed coffee. It could be worse. At least Jacob's residual heat had warmed the inside of the tent throughout the night, whenever the whipping winds weren't causing drafts to swirl and lower the internal temperature again.
I had awoken late, and discovered myself alone in the tent. After extricating myself from the world's fluffiest sleeping bag, which I was insanely grateful for, I unzipped a tiny portion of the tent door and peeked out. Bella, Jacob, and Edward were outside, arguing about something I couldn't hear. That love triangle was none of my business and I wanted no part of it. Bella might be a friend, but her love life was hers to figure out.
In a sudden burst of fur, Jacob took off into the trees. A moment later, a sandy brown wolf that I recognized as Seth took his place on the rock shelf.
I took this time to put my cold weather gear back on and shuffling out of the tent, making my way to the edge by Bella's side. She looked like she had been crying, but again I thought it best to let her business be her business. Instead, I focused on my part of this plan.
If Edward had had his way, I wouldn't be anywhere near here. He and Bella would be alone with Seth on this cold mountain, and really Seth's only job was to be a living radio, keeping Bella and Edward informed as to what was happening in the valley below. It was only after hours of arguing that I had a potential part to play in this madness, and after Rosalie spoke up and promised that no matter where Edward made base camp, she would find it and deliver me to Bella's side before the battle, that he finally gave in.
I think Rosalie and I had come to an understanding after all those hours in the clearing. I had somehow gained her unwavering support, and I felt closer to her than I had any other in the last several centuries. Even with all that though, she had made me promise to try to keep myself safe today. It broke my heart to have to lie to her. Today, I was going to be anything but 'safe'. I had a job to do.
It became painfully obvious over the course of the last few months that, even given all of their talents, Victoria was too much for any one vampire to handle. No matter who confronted her, the 'survival' talent she possessed would get her out of any trouble, no matter how outnumbered she was. It was too good, too much for anyone to defeat. To top that off, Victoria was clever. This whole plan had been carefully hidden from Alice's sight. It spoke of a careful and scheming mind. Granted, the execution had been messy enough to garner attention from the public, and nobody understood why the Volturi had yet to make an appearance to silence the whole situation. However, none of that mattered. I was here because I was positive that this would be where Victoria would end up. If I was wrong, no big deal. If I was right, Bella would need me. I was the last line of defense, as it should be.
In the valley below, the unmistakable sound of gunfire shattered the silence of the early morning air.
"The attack has begun", Edward stated morosely.
Yeah, no shit Sherlock.
"You won't ever get another chance like this again!" I heard Edward shout as Victoria turned to run. I had Bella behind me, the both of us pressed into a fissure in the rock face. To our left, Seth and a second vampire named Riley were having it out. Although the battle was fast and furious, it seemed like Seth had a small edge as he took a few fingers off every time Riley would take a swing.
Suddenly, Edward and Victoria became blurs as they began fighting in earnest. I knew that they had to be close to evenly matched, but if Victoria ever learned to stop thinking about her moves, Edward was doomed. The blurs were punctuated by the occasional screech of metal on metal, or the pounding of boulders crashing against each other. The thought came to me, 'this must be what it would sound like if you tossed a steel mill down a mountain.' My study of their fight was interrupted as a sand colored blur crossed my field of vision, slamming into the rock beside me and materializing as a bloody wolf.
The instant I realized that Riley was free from the fight, I heard him crash into Edward, freeing Victoria from their struggle. Riley didn't stand a chance one-on-one, but that didn't matter. Victoria's eyes zeroed in on Bella and me, and I knew this was it. I was ready.
Things kind of happened in slow motion after that. In one moment, I saw Victoria staring at Bella, Riley on top of Edward at her feet. Riley had what remained of his hands almost closed around Edward's throat, but Edward had his wrists, and was struggling to keep him at bay. The next, Victoria was charging, eyes wide, hands clawed and outstretched, teeth bared for the bite. I could tell her eyes were locked on Bella as she peeked out from around my shoulder. I was just another insignificant human to her, a gnat in the way, easily swept aside. I'm sure she didn't expect me to stick my arm in her mouth.
As Victoria's teeth pierced my skin, the world went black.
"Hello my child, we meet again. And what is this? You bring another vampire for judgement?" The melodious voice of my Goddess was the first thing I heard as the haze cleared from my vision. This world was dark, as it always was, but there was enough light coming from everywhere and nowhere to make sight easy enough. If you squinted.
In front of me, on the edge of what at first seemed to be a body of water, sat a rowboat with a figure hunched over in the bow. I knew this place.
Smiling, I turned to address my matron. "Hello Dike, it is good to see you! I've missed you!"
"And I you," came the voice in my head. The figure of my Goddess didn't open her mouth, but it held a slight curve that clued me in to her amusement at my enthusiasm. "Tell me of this one. It is not every day that you bring an immortal for judgement. Do you wish to accompany her to her fate?"
"I wouldn't mind escorting her." I replied. "This one was a menace, hunting a young girl in some petty bid for revenge for killing her mate." Behind me, I could hear the chains holding Victoria's soul start to clink as she regained consciousness and struggled to move. "She killed close to a hundred in her bid to raise a newborn vampire army, not to mention the thousands she probably took over the course of her lifetime. Her soul is black with wickedness. The sacrifice to bring her down was painful, but worth it."
"Painful? How so?" Dike intoned, the question clear in my mind with her concern. "You were too young in your mortal years this turn to have had your own family. I know leaving behind progeny has weighed on you in the past. Did you bear a child?"
"No, my Goddess. I left behind friends. People who I was able to share myself with fully, with complete trust. They knew the true me. I've never had that before. The loss is hard to cope with. It weighs on me to lose them."
Putting a hand on my shoulder, Dike turned me toward the boat. "A true family. I see." Her understanding washes over me, and I know that she truly does see. I have never doubted the love that my Goddess has for me, but this is the first time that my duty in her service hurt. "Do you wish for a reprieve my child? Does the service tax you? In the face of your great sacrifice, perhaps you would like some time?"
"No!" My outburst brings us both up short, and I turn to her with my eyes lowered, the apology clear on my face. "No, I will continue. Please, allow me to escort the soul to the gates, and return once more."
Head bowed before the ethereal figure; I feel her arms encircle me. Love, appreciation, and pride fill my heart, and I smile as tears streak down my cheeks. I've missed the love of my matron. I've had so many mothers, but this being is the only one that I could ever compare to the woman who originally birthed me.
"Very well my child. But, perhaps a change is in order. I shall consider while you escort the soul to the gates."
I pondered my matron's words as we floated down the river. At first, the soul that was once an apex predator struggled greatly against her chains, thrashing this way and that. Her growls filled the still air as our boat rounded down and down, deeper into the depths of the underworld. Soon though, it started to look around, and seemed to recognize that although the chains around her wrists and feet were slack, they held her so firmly that she couldn't even raise them. Baleful red eyes tried to bore into my skull the longer we floated in silence.
Finally, after the soul that was once Victoria seemed to settle and accept her predicament, did I give a flick of my wrist and release her gag.
"What is the meaning of this human!" she screeched, piercing the calm of the river around us. "Unbound me!"
"No", came my simple reply. The eyes across from me froze, and we stared at each other for what seemed like hours. I only continued speaking after the soul finally gave in, lowering its eyes slightly in a sign of submission. "Do you know why you are here?" I asked. This question almost always came first. There was no use launching into an explanation if the former person in front of you wasn't listening.
"Where is here?" came the reply. Ah, a question for a question. This will be interesting.
"This," I say, raising my hand in presentation to all around me, "is the river Styx. At the end of this boat ride, lies the gates to Hell, where you will spend a very long time. Your fate while you are there is up to you to decide. It is not my job to explain that to you though. I'm just your escort.
Now, I have answered your question, answer mine. Do you know why you are here?"
The soul stared at me balefully, before its eyes blazed again. "Hell? I am dead then?" At my nod, she paused to consider. "I imagine it has something to do with that pitiful girl and her murdering mate! Tell me, did I kill her before I was brought here?"
"No, you did not." I intoned, trying to keep emotion from my voice, but I couldn't help a small smile as I saw the disappointment in her eyes at this information. "Everything you did was for nothing. The people you killed were for nothing. The vampires you created are dust. And to make everything worse, you weren't even targeting the right vampire. Edward didn't kill James. Alice did."
"NO!" The soul scream was so loud it seemed to ripple the water as the boat continued its long spiral. With another flick of my wrist, the gag reappeared, and I enjoyed the muffled sounds as we wound our way down… down… down…..
Here it is… the end. I think there was supposed to be some more, but also less? Honestly the entire training conversation scenes were character written. I've never been a huge fan of that excuse as I believe that before pen hits paper with any story, it should be well thought out and blocked, but after this, I think I have a better understanding of what FanFic writers go through when they say that entire scenes just write themselves out of nowhere.
Thank you to all who have read. I have a small twist ending epilog left, and then I have a decision to make. Alexa is, obviously, my own original character. And yes, it has occurred to me that I could write her into other stories, other universes, and other worlds. However I find the concept of having to die to kill a bit tiring and restrictive, so if I were to write her again, I'd have to change some things. I've seen this work very well for other authors, Princess Alexandria's "Christy" comes to mind, but I'm not sure Alexa is robust enough for that.
Please, share your thoughts. I'd love to hear them.
Thank you all again. It has been an honor to contribute to this community.