AN: Two things – I know it has been a while since I posted, and if you weren't aware it is because I posted a pretty long-winded E/J one shot called My Only Choice. If you haven't read it yet, please go check it out. I would appreciate it.
So, hopefully, this almost 11k chapter made up for my long delay.
Second, my friend, Jamie aka LadyBlueKnight created a fantastic banner for this story that incorporated their trip to Vegas. If you want to check that out it is on my profile page, right next to my picture of Peter. Yep, that pic you may have already checked out is Peter. He will be a prominent character in this story that will show up a little later.
Thank you Cullen818 for proofing this on a holiday weekend…she is so good to me.
Disclaimers: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters, also, this story is intended for mature audiences only.
Chapter 9 – JPOV (Survival)
"Why not?" He asks so quietly that I can barely hear him. Jesus. The last thing I expected to do is hurt him.
He gazes at me warily, the beautiful sunset forgotten under the tension surrounding us.
And I know it is time.
Time to have the discussion.
Goddammit. I wanted to wait until the end of the week, and enjoy what is left of this trip without having to think about the inevitable conclusion that waited for us at the airport.
I can deny no longer that I love Edward Cullen, and that is why I have to do this. No matter how I twist and bend each scenario I cannot find a "happily ever after" for me and him…at least not at this time. It just isn't meant to be, and we can't force it, or we will both end up unhappy.
I look over at him and see the naked pain in his eyes at my refusal to have him do something as simple as top me. Did I want him to top? More than anyone could ever fucking know, but this would just make this harder. I had only bottomed a few times in my life, and each time, it was only because I had been getting paid for it.
I never wanted to like I do now.
I had only been wondering, to myself, how often he topped. I had never intended to vocalize my curiosity, but now that I had, the subject hadn't dropped as fast as I wanted it to, and now I can't think of nothing else but having his beautiful cock filling me…completing me, as corny as that sounds.
I couldn't allow myself to think about it, imagine it, want it, so I turn to him and start the conversation that would, hopefully, not sever the little bit of time that we had left with each other.
I lay on my side, with my head lying on top of my folded arm. I want to reach my hand out and stroke his auburn locks, but I don't trust myself to touch him right now, knowing that somehow, if I did, it will ruin my resolve to speak the words that roil like acid in my belly.
"I have never wanted to bottom for anyone, like I want to bottom for you." I say with honest conviction. He smiles shyly, and his arm reaches out to touch me, but I stop it…because I have to.
He looks confused, as I hold his wrist mid-air. I lower it to the ground, and tentatively release my grip. He keeps it there between us, but he does not understand why, and I don't blame him. Our relationship, from the beginning, has been full of questions, and misunderstandings.
Not anymore. Everything will be spelled out here and now.
"But I won't - because it will just make all of this harder."
He pushes himself on his back, letting out an exasperated sigh, and even though I feel like this is going to kill me…that my lungs are prepped to burst any minute…I have to go on. Now that I have started this, I have no choice but to finish it.
So breathlessly I continue. "Edward, I am not going to deny that I have strong feelings for you. More so than I have ever had for anyone else. Ever." His head turns toward me, and his green eyes reflect his hurt, but he remains silent.
My throat closes and my eyes shut. "But it's not good enough for me…or for you." I squeeze the words out, barely audible, dissolving any hope that he may still have had. "It will never work between us."
Edward opens his mouth, ready for a rebuttal, but I waylay him by putting my fingers over his mouth. "Please let me finish." His mouth shuts under the tips of my fingers, and his eyes fill with tears, and resignation.
Please don't hate me.
"This is my last movie Edward. This is my last porn ever. I wanted to end with a bang." I smile sadly. "I wanted to end it with you…but I am done with all of this. I don't want to do it anymore, and I don't want to be associated with it anymore…in any shape or form. You have a whole career ahead of you, and I just can't be there waiting for you to come home from…being with someone else."
I try seriously hard not to think of Edward on other sets with other guys, but occasionally images pop in my head of him kissing, getting hard for, sucking…ugh…and once the images start I can't stop them. That reason alone is as good as any, to end this thing after this week.
Edward's eyes return to the sky, and I see the moon reflect off of a tear that slips down his cheek and disappears into his hair. I grab his hand, loathe to lose him any earlier than the end of the week when I will be obligated to leave him to pursue his new and exciting life.
"I don't want this to hang over our heads this week. I don't want this to be sad. This is a good experience Edward. This is something that I will always remember fondly, and I hope…I hope you do to." I clutch his hand with desperate urgency, and place it over my heart. "I will never, ever regret this."
Edward's face is wet with tears now, and it looks like he is holding his breath to stop himself from expressing the anguish that I also feel, all too well. A sob manages to escape on a hiccup, and my heart breaks.
"Please Edward." I whisper fervently, followed by my own broken sob that I cut off as soon as it starts, my own salty tears beginning to fall from my eyes. "Say that you won't leave me for the rest of the week. Please tell me we can still have this. I need you."
I press my lips together, so I don't blurt out that I love him. It is too late for that now. He doesn't say anything, just pulls me into an awkward one armed hug. I drag him on top of me, and wrap my arms tightly around his waist.
We spend almost an hour just holding each other. We cried, we kissed, and then I made love to him right there on the sandy beach.
Dinner is tense that night. Again, we have dinner with James and Marcus who can also feel the stress. They watch us both with a sympathetic expression through the course of the meal, and it makes me want to scream.
I don't want the rest of the week to be like this. I furtively hope that I had planned enough activities tomorrow to make us forget that we were just one more day closer to the end of the week.
XXXXX
The next day we head out, to keep us busy, and hopefully, make us dead tired since we won't be involved in any extracurricular bed time activities tonight.
Today, we are just going to be friends, and hang out. Later tonight, we will prep ourselves for the set tomorrow, including going over the few lines that we have, cleansing, and shaving all pertinent areas.
Our activities are spread throughout the day. We are mainly taking advantage of all of the resorts amenities. I did include a few excursions that we will have to leave the resort for, like horseback riding, and the one we are currently doing, climbing a rock inlaid waterfall at Dunn's River Falls.
James and Marcus were interested in climbing the waterfall, and had signed up for that adventure with us.
They are filming later on tonight, and they are just as anxious to find something to occupy their time as we are. They don't feel the need to withhold the day before a shoot like I do, but over the years, I have noticed the difference in my performance when I chose to abstain, and when I didn't.
Contrary to what others may believe I do take pride in my work, and that is always giving the best I got. I take my job seriously, and in the process I am also teaching Edward good practices.
Besides, I am totally psyched about spending the day with Edward, without having our hands all over each other, and our minds in the gutter.
I snort. Yeah, that is easier said than done, as I watch Edward's tight ass. His wet swim shorts mold to his mouthwatering backside, as he looks for good footing on the rock he is about to traverse, while Marcus stands over him to help if need be.
We are paired into groups of four. Each grouping is supposed to stay together. One person would climb the travertine rock, and then help the person behind them accomplish the same feat. The soles of our rubber shoes keep us from sliding off of the slippery rock…
Most of the time.
I watch Edward slip on one of the stones as Marcus clasps one of his hands, keeping him from falling completely down.
"Ouch." Edward exclaims, as he holds his shin in his hand. Marcus helps him recover from his misstep and lifts him up, which is why we have James and Marcus climbing in first and second places, respectively. It is a lot easier for them to help us up than it is for us to assist them, since they each, easily, have about fifty pounds….of muscle…over me and Edward.
"You okay darlin'?" I ask from behind him.
He turns around, flashing the most incredibly beautiful smile.
I am momentarily stunned.
God, what a fucking sight.
Edward is standing in the middle of a gorgeous waterfall, his wet auburn hair shines, and his pale damp chest glistens, from the sun rays piercing the landscaped trees, shining around him like a prism, making him appear even more angelic than usual.
His green eyes are sharp and intense, matching the surrounding landscape. They bore into mine, looking for an answer to an unspoken question. I audibly shut my mouth, and wipe any drool that may have accumulated on my chin. I must have looked like a besotted fool. He confirms that statement when he gives me a devious smile, and then graces me with a slow, wicked wink, while swiping his tongue over his tantalizing top lip.
Fuck. Can I cum now? Please.
A few more stumbles, and hiccups along the way, but we finally make it to the final tier. We celebrate by frolicking in the water, splashing and dunking each other. We ignore all of the eyes that are on us, pretending that we are the only ones there, but when playtime is over a group of girls that were climbing two groups behind us approached uninvited.
The guys groan as they watch them wade through the water, boobies jiggling, threatening to pop out of their tops, as they smile at us in what, I am sure, they believe to be a seductive manner.
I am the only one considered a "bi" out of all of us. Though I am beginning to think the side of me that likes girls doesn't exist anymore. It has been so long since I have found a girl the slightest bit attractive, and the thought of having relations with a girl again makes me feel disgusted.
Yeah…as I stare at these lackluster girls, in their string bikinis, I find nothing stirring inside me except my lunch.
"So what resort are you guys staying at?" One of the girls asks. I am the only one still looking at them at all, so I feel responsible for answering.
"Hedonism. But this is our last day here." I lie, trying to find the easy way out.
She looks more upset than she should be. "Well, did you guys want to hang out with us until you have to leave? We definitely like to party…if you know what I mean." The blond says, smiling at us in a fashion that I am sure had brought her a lot of dick.
Edward comes up behind me and wraps his strong, manly arms around my waist, and rests his chin on my shoulder. I let out a little chuckle, as I watch understanding dawn on their faces.
"Seriously…are you guys just messing with us?" The blond asks.
James finally comes over, and one of the brunette's lets out a shrill scream. "Nooooo waaay! I thought you looked like him, but that's….that's…" She points to James, and the other girls are waiting for her to finish, but she just starts laughing. She looks at the blond who initiated the conversation. "These boys aren't interested in us. Let's go."
The blond looks hesitant to leave us, as she glimpses from her friend to us, and then back again. She isn't ready to give up yet. The brunette that recognizes James looks at her friends with the juicy gossip on the tip of her tongue. "I'll tell you in the car. Bye boys! Keep up the good work!"
Her friends look perplexed, but follow her back to the exit anyway.
The four of us walk back to the van that is escorting back to our resort, sporting "Just Do the Falls" complimentary t-shirts that we received for making it to the top of the waterfall.
The rest of the day is spent in leisure. We sail out on kayaks, we snorkel around colorful reefs, we swim, we lay out in the sun, we ride horses, but most importantly we refrain from touching each other, settling for quick chaste kisses, and light touches.
And I loved every minute of it.
Edward and I fit so well together, it hurt.
If we had just met at another time, in another place, and we didn't have all this drama surrounding us, we could have made this last forever. Maybe, if a couple of years down the road when Edward has reached his pinnacle, and if I am still single, we can rekindle what we have here today, but it would rely on Edward not changing too much.
This life had a way of altering a person, and I would hate to see Edward turn cynical and jaded from his choices. I would never try to convince Edward of this though. It would be selfish of me to try to persuade him that this isn't the life he had dreamt it to be. I would never try to talk him out of something that he has been dreaming about, and hopefully, I am wrong about him. Some people are made for this, maybe he is one of them. I have my doubts of course, but I will keep my mouth shut, and not express my concerns. This is a lesson that he needs to learn himself.
XXXXX
We spent most of the morning getting ready for the shoot. We are filming in one of the various secluded whirlpools located within the depths of the resorts lush foliage.
Apparently, James and Marcus had an awesome set yesterday. Tanya had bragged about it earlier, warning us that it is going to be hard to beat their chemistry, and having watched those two, go at it, first hand, I agree one hundred percent.
We were advised that we only had to do two different positions, and other than the beginning dialogue, we could do anything we wanted. So while we ate our lunch, we tried to guess what everyone else had done.
The easiest to guess is James and Marcus. They played the "in love" card. Serious and sexy. Edward predicted that Embry and Seth will have angry sex, since he had a feeling that they don't really like each other, and he also suspected that Aro and Emmett practiced classic porn, only worrying about the way they looked on camera. They would use the usual "Fuck yeah's", "you like that baby" and "Yeah, suck my big, fat dick" to entice an audience that had heard that shit a million times over. Yawn.
So, we decide our routine, which is to do what we know…need. Blatant white hot need runs rampant whenever we are in the presence of each other, so it should be fairly easy to translate this to the spectators. We also pick which positions we prefer. I pick one of my favorites, which is one that isn't very popular in porn, and Edward picks his favorite.
He has been wired, and on edge, all day. He is ready to do this, and so am I.
This is the last time that I will be performing in front of a camera, and I am so prepared to put this part of my life behind me.
I glance at Edward who is picking at his salad. He notices me ogling him, and he looks up.
"I am so fucking hungry." He says crankily. I think Edward borders on something similar to hypoglycemia, because when he doesn't eat enough, or at certain times, he gets downright surly.
"We'll eat a big dinner after the set." I say, and he smiles happily, and I am not sure if it is because of the set, or he is anticipating his feast afterward.
We've been eating like birds, and I could use a decent steak and a loaded baked potato myself.
We are sitting at a patio table, finishing our paltry lunches when Emmett strolls by. At first, it looks like he is going to ignore us, but then apparently he changes his mind, because he pivots on his heel, and walks straight up to us.
Shit. As if Edward's expression and mood hadn't been sour enough before Emmett came by...I dread it now.
When Edward sees Emmett making his way over his facial features screw up into an expression akin to sucking on a crushed Tylenol.
Emmett struts up with a huge smile on his face. "Good morning Jasper."
He doesn't even spare Edward a glance.
"I just wanted to wish you luck on set today. I figured you would need it since you ended up with the inexperienced, naïve one."
"I know how to fuck, asshole, which is more than I can say for you." Edward says with contempt.
I cringe, knowing that Emmett isn't going to just walk away after that. "Jealous, much?" He says smiling at Edward.
Edward starts to stand, but I pull his arm down. He complies, but it doesn't curb the malice. "Who the hell do you think you are? Strutting around…like you are something else. You are nothing. You are a one trick pony Emmett, a jack of one trade, and once I get out there I am going to wipe the floor with your meager stats. No one is going to remember who you are."
He scoffs. "Go ahead and try Eddie. You won't even last a year in this world. Y'know why? You wear your heart on your sleeve." Emmett smiles evilly. "I'm going to find much happiness in watching you get eaten alive."
"Emmett. Stop." I demand. His comments are hitting too close to home.
He looks at me, and his face softens. "When you are done playing with your toy, call me."
Needless to say, the rest of lunch is awkward. Edward looks far away in another world, and I can't help think about what Emmett said.
Edward is new to this. He is naïve, and he thinks that this is glamorous. He doesn't understand that the money is subpar, and there is no glory. It is a vortex that sucks you in, sucks the life out of you, and then spits you out.
He is going to find that out sooner or later, and this perfect person sitting in front of me, sulking beautifully over his wilted salad, is going to change.
My hope is that he will decide to leave it all behind, before he gets too immersed in the life…before he can't find his way out.
"C'mon darlin' let's go take a walk."
We hold hands as we walk along the beach, and then down the long wharf. When we are at the end of the pier I pull Edward into my arms and crash my lips to his. I haven't kissed him thoroughly in over twenty-four hours, and I don't think I would have been able to wait another twenty-four seconds to do it.
His hands rest loosely on my hips, as our lips and tongues entangle. My head tilts to the side, so I can get a better angle to delve my tongue in deeper.
It is a slow, sensual kiss. A kiss, meant to reenact the art of making love, one that makes your toes curl up, and your insides to tighten deliciously.
The wind blows our hair around our faces, as we hold each other fast. Both of my hands reach for his and our fingers entwine, as I pepper small kisses on his sweet supple lips; going for the top lip and then the bottom, sucking the succulent piece of flesh in between my teeth before moving on to the other, only then, to dive back in to the sweet recesses of his mouth, making him moan in ecstasy.
My mind reels with the immense pleasure that I get from kissing him. We fit together perfectly, mentally and physically. My eyes open with the reality of that statement, and how little it means with our situations being as they are.
I put my forehead on his, and shut my eyes. "Jas?" He questions, noting the somber expression I must be displaying.
"We should go get ready." I whisper, not wanting this to turn this moment into a rehash of the conversation we have already had.
XXXXX
The lighting is on, the mic's are positioned, the cameras are rolling. Tanya and Felix are standing by, with clipboards in their hands, and pencils behind their ears.
My cock understands these signs; it stiffens, and I am quickly finding myself very uncomfortable in my black and white checkered speedo.
I take a step into the whirlpool, so that I am in up to my knees waiting for the signal to begin. The water is warm, but definitely not as hot as a whirlpool is normally set at.
Edward is getting some last minute adjustments to his hair, which is funny because it is going to be wet in about two minutes. He glances over at me, as the woman plays with his hair, and winks conspiratorially at me, which causes a wide grin to spread across my face.
I am so ready to get this going, and evidently so does Tanya, because I get the signal.
So, it is lights, camera and action.
I submerge into the water fully. I sink down, so that my ass hits the cement at the bottom, engulfing my hair. I push myself up so that I spurt out of the water. I push my hair back and stand, letting the cameras traverse over my frame, catching the rivulets of water streak down my neck, chest and stomach. I rub my wet stomach, massaging the heated water into my skin. I sit on the ledge, and with my feet dangling in the water, I lean back on my hands, exposing my damp torso for another camera shot. I arch my back, and moan softly, acting all turned on…from what, I don't know. I didn't write this part of the script, so I guess I am just playing a horny motherfucker.
I balance my upper body weight on one of my hands, so I can bring the other one around to rub over my chest. I watch my own hand, as it massages my pecs, and pauses at my nipple, plucking it with my fingertips, before moving on. I flex and tighten my stomach muscles as my hand glides down to the band of my speedo. I pause for effect, but just briefly, and then I grab and mold my erection through the material. The camera moves closer so that it can get a good view of me accentuating the shape of my cock through the fabric. I continue to do that for a minute or two.
I know the camera is not on my face, but I play the part fully. My mouth is agape, and my head is thrown back in mock pleasure. In my peripheral, I catch Edward palming himself while he watches me.
I am turning him on, and the thought, spurs me to intensify my look, undulate my hips, and growl out my approval at my own ministrations, but Tanya interrupts my teasing Edward with the sign to move on to the next step.
I carefully, and always slowly, pull the wet swimsuit over my proud cock. It stands tall, glistening from the lights located just underneath the surface of the water in the hot tub. I waste no time in fisting it just over the head, and twist-pumping it. I do this from a couple different angles before I just wrap my hand around the full length and pump the base. The head swells, and throbs with the building pressure.
"Josh, is that you? Hey, watcha doing there?" Edward says, as he saunters toward me, looking gorgeous. The camera is watching his every move. He is wearing swim shorts, and a sexy as hell smirk, indicating for the camera that he knows exactly what I was doing.
I act surprised, and jump into the water, acting all sheepish. "Hey Ethan, long time no see. Are you here with your girlfriend?" The camera hones in on me attempting to, unsuccessfully, cover myself underneath the water.
"Oh, no man. I haven't been with Sarah for a long time now. I'm here on spring break with a couple of friends. Do you mind if I join you?"
"Sure, but why are you out here alone?" I ask, turning my head in a curious manner. Yeah, overacting…but that is just the way it is done.
"Oh, my buddies are at a club picking up chicks." He says, with his timely shrug.
"Why aren't you with them?"
"Because that isn't really my thing anymore."
"What do you mean?" I ask, but now instead of hiding my dick underneath the water I am stroking it.
"Well, umm…I like dicks now."
"Like this." I say, and stand up, exposing my hardened member for his view.
"Oh yeah." He drawls. "Especially like that."
"Well, come here then." I say seductively, crooking my finger in an obvious manner.
He slowly makes his way over to the edge, and is just about to descend into the water.
"CUT!" Tanya yells.
He looks disappointed that he wasn't allowed to get in, and Tanya must have noticed. "Go ahead and get in Edward. You can get wet."
He jumps in enthusiastically.
We stare at each other, both of us with a matching smirk on our faces. "Especially like that." I imitate the last words that Edward had said in an annoyingly shrill voice.
He pushes me back into the water and dives on top of me. We splash around while they adjust some of the lighting, spread some towels along the cement edge, and reposition the cameras and microphones.
"Okay guys. Time to get back to work."
I sit on the towels that were laid out, feet still in the water, and Edward is crouched in the water in between my legs.
And in three, two, one. Here we go.
Edward picks back up on the conversation that we were having. "And such a beautiful dick too." He envelopes my shaft in his large hand, and pumps a few times before he wraps his plump lips around it. I lean back on my arms again, to make room for the camera's close ups. Edward's green eyes look up at me while his lips surround my cock. He pulls it out, licking each side of it, like a melting ice cream cone, lapping it with his tongue before sucking it back into his mouth. He takes it deep, pushing his nose into my shortened pubes.
Oh, the camera rushes forward, always searching for a good shot of a deep-throater. Edward holds it in for several moments. He slowly slides back up my shaft and then repeats the action, swallowing around my cock when it is in to the hilt. My groan is authentic, and loud.
Once the cameraman shifts back, Edward resumes normal head. He hollows his cheeks and blows me superbly. I feel a tingling in my stomach, and I know I only have a few more minutes, at most.
"You are so good at that baby." I thrust my hips up into his eager mouth. "mmm…yeah…God, your mouth is perfect." He accepts my compliment with a moan around my cock, and moves faster.
He pulls my swollen dick out of his mouth, and jacks it, while he watches me fixedly. I am determined to get one kiss out of him before we are told to end the scene, so I grasp his face in both of my hands and kiss him with everything that I have.
He crawls forward, ready to take it upon himself to climb on top of me.
"CUT!"
Fucking sigh. I would have liked to see where Edward was going with that move at the end.
But I have to chuckle, because if I am frustrated, than according to the tight lipped expression on Edward's face, that would mean that he is beyond himself.
If he thinks this is bad…just wait.
"You guys ready for position one?"
"Sure." We both say in unison, and smile at each other.
I love Edward's smirks and grins, but I absolutely love those shy, sweet, genuine smiles he gives me every now and then. It shows the vulnerability that he still carries, and I adore that about him.
It sickens me to know that eventually those smiles won't exist anymore. It won't be much longer before his laughs are laced with discontent, and his smiles infected with cynicism.
Edward lies on his side along the towels. I ready myself by putting on a condom, smothering it with lube. I squirt some of the gel on my fingers, and position myself behind Edward. He pulls his leg up and rests his foot back on my calf.
"Alright!" Tanya claps. "Oh, I love this position and none of the other's chose it. Yay!" They position the cameras accordingly
Me and Edward mentally high-five each other. Being on our sides is one of my favorite positions. Especially to watch back on video. I think it is sexy, intimate, and rare. We take the time to kiss while we wait for the shoot to begin again.
We get the signal, and I immediately start with where we left off. Edward turns his neck so that we can kiss. Our tongues do a porn dance, sticking them out so that they can play without being concealed, but I reach around and angle his face further back so I can give him a proper kiss.
As we participate in some lust-laden tongue-twisting, my fingers prepare him for penetration. I massage the puckered entrance with my lubed fingers. As I massage his small passage, he pulses underneath my fingertips.
While I do this, Edward is jerking himself leisurely, thrusting his head through his forefinger and thumb repeatedly. His pace picks up as I push a finger into his opening, and then another. He is moaning and groaning into my mouth, and I know that I have to get this show on the road.
Reluctantly I pull away from Edward. I grip the base of my cock and push into him slowly. When I lay back down I snake my arm underneath him, and I grab his leg in the other, holding it up and out of the way.
I begin at a slow pace making sure Edward is comfortable with the position. Edward becomes verbal immediately. "Oh God…baby…uhhh…so fucking good."
I establish a good pace. My lips are at his neck and shoulder, biting and nipping at his flawless flesh. "I love your tight ass." I whisper in his ear, but loud enough for the mic's to pick it up.
I know this is going to look fucking fantastic on camera.
This shot is all about Edward…but I picked it for me, because when I watch this movie, this is what I want to see. Edward in front of the cameras, naked, illuminated by the "moonlight" surrounded by the greenery, and fake cricket noises.
I betcha he looks delectable right now.
I have this unsettling urge to touch him. That I need to touch him. My hand that is wedged beneath him is touching anything it can get to, but it isn't good enough. I lay his foot back on my calf so I can grasp his cock. His precum is drooling from the tip, and I catch the escaping liquid, rubbing it back over his throbbing shaft.
"Ohhh." He cries out.
I am in my own heaven, my dick is pulsating with a need for release, my head is swimming in a pool of rapture, and my body is vibrating with rabid electricity, so my hand lays dormant on his cock, but it does not matter, because with every one of my thrusts his dick bobs through one side of my fist and out the other.
"Edward?" I whisper brokenly into his ear, too low for the mic's to pick up. He groans in answer, and he tosses his head to one side. I can tell by the way he is hissing when he exhales that he is getting very close. "Are…are…" I breathe in a couple of labored breaths. "…are you going to cum darlin'?"
And just like that Edward lets the signal fly.
"CUT!" Tanya yells.
I pull out immediately, my cock bobs angrily in protest. "Umm…I was enjoying that y'know." I smile, at his forlorn expression.
"We can do it again later." I wink, and he smiles back.
He twists around, pushes me on my back and attacks my mouth. My legs spread to accommodate his thighs, and he immediately climbs in between them grinding his cock into mine.
I push him away, but only a fraction, grasping a fist of hair in both of my hands. "Ah fuck, darlin'. Do you know how much you turn me on? How much I fucking want you?"
His answer was to grind into me faster, and harder.
His lips went to the pulse point on my neck, sucking and nipping, while I moan ceaselessly. His knees come forward do that they are resting at my sides, sitting over top of me, he continues to mash our straining cocks together.
I massage his thighs, as we temporarily forget about the onlookers, and make out like there is no fucking tomorrow, which is too close to the truth. I had never lost myself on set before, but right now, I had no care who is watching our erotic display of open affection.
"CUT!"
Huh?
Tanya takes in our inquisitive looks, and shrugs. "I couldn't help myself. That was way too hot. Okay, the next position can't last that long, since you went on a little longer than we expected on the first one, which, I must say, was way too hot to stop you guys. And then we are going to try to fit in that little scene we just taped. So, great job! What's next?"
Edward and I are already in position for the next. "Umm…this." He says simply.
"Greeaat. I love it. Jas, do you need a new condom?"
It takes me a moment to find my bearings. Edward has me twisted in knots, and I fight through the haze. "um…" I go to check it, but Edward swipes my hand away and reaches behind him to check it himself. I feel his gentle hand working over my dick, and I shut my eyes letting that feeling wash over me.
"No, it's good." He says quietly, as if his mind is elsewhere. My eyes snap open to see him staring at me. I squeeze his thighs in silent answer to his own wordless communication.
Yeah, I feel it too.
"Do you need more lube?" Felix asks, breaking us from our stare. Edward's hand which had already been at my cock, switches to his ass and fingers his hole gingerly. Felix notices Edward's expression, and rushes over to him, I hold out my hand, intending to do the task, but Edward has none of that, and Felix applies a generous amount to his hand.
He bends, so he is braced on one arm over me. His head is hanging over my chest, his hair tickling my skin, as he fingers himself. He moans softly, and turns his head slightly to lick my nipple, and then suck the bead into his mouth.
"Don't stop doing that Edward. The camera starts in three seconds. Okay?"
Neither one of us respond. He looks up at me, while he stretches himself. His eyes glaze over with pain and pleasure. I look down to see two only one finger extended, so that means he is taking in three right now.
Fuckin' A.
I want to join in on the fun, so I take both of our cocks in my fist, and pump in a steady motion. Edward sighs, bites down on my nipple, and I cry out.
"Fuck me." He growls out his demand, and I have never been so happy to follow an order.
I hold my dick up, so Edward can slide onto it, slowly impaling himself on my rigid shaft. His muscle slides over each ridge of my engorged cock, sending a shiver of pure, unadulterated pleasure through me.
No, this was not going to take long at all.
His legs are bent so that his feet are flat on the beach towels; one hand is also on the ground, keeping balance as he works over his cock. He jumps up and down enthusiastically over my dick, taking it almost completely out before diving back down. His head is thrown back, as his mouth spews incoherent words, leveled on hisses and groans.
He bends over me, folding his legs behind him. I take that opportunity to grab his ass in both my hands, holding it in place for my assault. I thrust from underneath him, rapid and agile. My breathing is coming out in quick pants, and my thrusts move from agile to erratic. I am burning up…everywhere. Edward has set a blaze in me that is all consuming; the white hot need, running feral through every inch of my body.
His soft utterances are driving me wild. He bends low, his breathing is heavy and strangled. He reaches for my mouth, and I accommodate him by lifting my hips higher, so his lips can reach mine. Our mouths devour each other.
He pulls away so that the tips of our noses are touching. "Jas…" He whispers. He shuts his eyes and opens them back up quickly, but in that split second they became ten times hotter…on fire. They are seriously, serious, and for that one second…I am afraid.
I am afraid of what is going to come out of those beautiful lips. Once I hear his small declaration I can sigh with relief…but just barely.
"You are the best thing that ever happened to me."
Cue the fucking signal.
I let it fly, because I am about two seconds away from blowing my load.
"CUT!" Tanya yells.
Edward stares at me, but my throat closes up and I can't say anything back. He appears to be appeased with my expression, because he smirks at me.
An arrogant, knowing smile. I push him off of me playfully, and we get ready for our final scene.
The release. Again, I sit on the ledge. Edward stands on the concrete seat in the hot tub which just so happens to make his magnificent cock stand proudly right in front of my face.
The production continues, as I lick and suck Edward's cock and balls.
He begins to fuck my mouth, and I recognize the signs. His thigh shakes under my palm, and his stomach jumps spasmodically. I release his dick from my mouth so the camera can get the desired conclusion. I pump it from base to tip, twisting when I reach the rim of his head. I lick and tug on his sac. I suck one of his balls into my mouth, rolling my tongue around it before letting it pop out of my mouth. "Oh God." He whispers brokenly.
"Cum on my face, beautiful." And with a heartfelt groan, his body jerks, and his creamy fluid spurts across my face. I lick my upper lip, gaining some of Edward's sweet essence on my tongue. I love the taste of Edward, and I savor it, while his climax runs its course.
The camera takes it's time pulling away, filming while Edward squeezes the remaining juices from his softening member.
I lie back on my elbow and begin to masturbate. I watch Edward kneel down in the tub, and run his hands up and down my thighs as he watches me reach for my fulfillment. He massages my perineum and my hips leave the ground, at his subtle but powerful touch.
I circle my hips into his hand insistently, loving the feeling of his hands and eyes on me while I get myself off. Too soon, my cock seizes in my hand, and I cease my hands movements while stream after stream of hot cum falls onto my slick skin. Edward rises over me to clean up my mess, after he licks all of the juices off of my chest, he takes my semi-hard cock in his mouth greedily, searching for any cum he may have missed.
Afterward, he pulls me into the hot tub with him, and we end the set with a passionate, tender, and very real kiss.
"CUT!" Tanya sighs heavily. "Oh. My. Fucking. God." Is all she can say. Her eyes are wide in surprise.
"That was ridiculously hot, guys." Felix manages to say for her.
Edward turns to me and smiles…smugly, knowing he had me back there.
"You just think you are all that," I tease.
He shakes his head adamantly. "…and a bag of chips too."
I laugh and roll my eyes at the old saying. "Well, c'mon Frito's. I think I promised you a nice big dinner."
XXXXX
I look in the mirror, one final time, straightening the collar of my red polo. Our date is tonight, and to say that I am nervous is a bit of an understatement. Edward has been acting a little strange all day. One minute he will look morose, and in the next I can see this bright light in his eyes.
I amble over to the window and peer outside; it is a little cloudy today. Apparently, there is supposed to be a huge storm sweeping through later on in the night, making tomorrow a little colder, and even darker than it is today.
A good day to leave the island…I suppose. This is our last night here and I definitely do not want to screw it up. I want to keep it light. I don't want to focus on the future, and I want to avoid letting Edward dwell on it, as well.
I have an eerie feeling about tonight though, due to Edward's strange mood. I had expected to see resignation and acceptance, but instead he seems even happier.
Maybe he is still riding the high from our awesome set last night…or what had come afterward.
But today he seems more…determined, than resigned.
I am unprepared to deal with a determined Edward. I don't know how much more I can endure his advances, only to turn them down. He doesn't realize that this is the only viable alternative.
I sincerely hope that he is given up trying to make something out of nothing.
He saunters into the room with a magnificent smile on his face. He looks gorgeous of course. He wears a simple light green polo shirt and white pants. The colors bring out his hair and eyes. Even though his new and improved attitude worries me, his smile is contagious and I can't help but smile back at his excitement about our date. I still have no idea where we are heading and I am anxious, to say the least, to find out what he has in store for us. "Are you ready to go love?" He asks tenderly.
We walk out onto the beach and I am perplexed, until we turn a corner, there in the water sits a pontoon-looking type boat illuminated with candles along a deck that wraps around a tented center. When we reach the boat the deck is littered with rose petals and champagne buckets. The pit of the boat is crowded with four small tables, two chairs are placed at each table.
There is a small buffet table with a variety of island favorite appetizers.
I turn to Edward with eyes and mouth wide, he has a shy smile on his face…and I had no words. No one has ever done anything remotely this intimate for me in all of my life.
I have never felt more…loved. Acid starts churning in my stomach, and I feel sick.
Two couples are already aboard the craft, and we are just waiting on the last.
The attendants begin pulling in ropes that had held the boat to the dock.
That is when I realize we will be drifting out.
I casually glance around the craft looking for the life preservers, or other life saving paraphernalia. Although I am not really sure what difference it will make to have the devices. If something happens to this boat we are all, literally, dead in the water.
Fuck.
I try to control my breathing, as a prominent fear of hyperventilation mounts, making the situation already worse than it already is.
Edward glances at me, and snickers. He circles his arm around my neck, and pulls me into his body. "Don't worry baby, nothing is going to happen to us." He lifts my chin with his finger. "Trust me." He whispers, searching my eyes for something deeper than what he is actually asking me to do.
God, I am such a chicken shit. This is the last night I have with Edward in possibly forever. I am not going to let my fear of becoming fish food ruin this experience.
People did this everyday…right?
"You're right," I concede.
As we wait for the last remaining couple to board the attendants stare at their watches intently, whispering words I can hardly hear or understand. They seem to have come to some sort of conclusion, because they clap their hands together to get everyone's attention.
But just as they do that, the other pair arrives, making their apologies.
We set out at once. We all hang out on the waterproof, cushioned seat that wraps around the perimeter of the boat. Edward is sitting with one leg bent underneath him, facing me, and I am doing the same. Our arms are stretched out on the rail, so that our fingers can play with each other as we make idle conversation. The other couples laugh and joke as we do, immersed in their own banter.
I enjoy the ambience even though I can see no land on any side of us anymore. We have been traveling for a little more than a half an hour and we have just settled into the middle of nowhere. I haven't seen any fins jutting out of the ocean yet, so I am still feeling okay.
Edward is in a kick ass mood, and I am so glad that we had our awkward and unpleasant discussion days ago. The result isn't what either of us wanted, but at least it took the guesswork out of tonight. We are free to enjoy each other's company without expectations, and the inevitable conversation looming ominously over our heads.
We return to the deck after we have snacks. He opens the champagne, and I grab the glasses. He fills them to the brim, and I am in the process of taking a sip.
"I won't do it," he blurts.
The glass pauses, pressed against my lips, as I stare at him over the rim. My eyes avert, and I continue sipping from my glass. I let the bubbly liquid burst on my tongue before I swallow it. "Won't do what?"
His eyes have that determined look that I have seen so many times earlier today, when it looked like he had been off in his own world.
"Porn. I would rather have you." My eyebrows shoot up and then that is when I see the other look that I had seen earlier. The moroseness. The emotion briefly makes an appearance in his eyes, before he is able to mask it.
He doesn't want to stop.
I want to be selfish, my heart begs me to be…but I can't do it.
"No, Edward. I will not be responsible for you giving up a dream that has just become attainable to you. You would never forgive me for it, and I would never forgive myself."
"Jas…"
"Darlin', listen to me. You need to do it for yourself, and I need to move on from this. It isn't going to work. Please baby. I wish things could be different. I wish…" I am interrupted by the howling wind. Our hair is blowing all over the place, so we head back under the tent.
I want to continue our conversation, but a noise interrupts me. "Is…is that rain I hear?"
It is crowded, and we are in the center, under the tent's cover, so I can't see too much of what is going on beyond the small tent, but the pitter patter along the nylon surface is unmistakable.
Suddenly, the engine starts up, and one of the attendants yells out that we have to return early, and I happen to be in complete agreement.
But about ten minutes into our passage to get back to the island, the clouds which had only moments ago hinted at a slow brewing storm, have opened up and delivered on its threat - tenfold.
The last couple that still remained on the deck runs under the tent for cover from the now, heavy rain, but almost at once the boat begins to jolt us from side to side by the roughened waters, and we find we have nothing to hang onto. In fact, the tables slide back and forth making the area we had previously deemed as protection, now dangerous territory. We all scurry back onto the deck from the safety of the objects flying around the pit.
I had previously been hidden from the view, surrounded by individuals under the tent, but once we make it out onto the deck I have a chance to see what is really going on, and the scene before me is a living, breathing nightmare.
The rain is so thick and heavy. It pellets against the ocean with such a force that it bounces back up, causing a screen that is impossible to see through. Items are clanging and banging on the boat. Champagne bottles, and the ice buckets that held them, are sucked into the water. Some of the passengers and attendants, that don't have a problem maintaining their balance, start heaving things over the edge of the boat, to prevent someone from being harmed from one of the flying objects.
I want to scream, but I can't. My fear paralyzes me. I just hold on to the rail while the boat relentlessly jars, to and fro, from the harrowing weather. I watch in horror as one of the girls is tossed from one side of the boat to the other, like a ragdoll, before someone clamps their arms around her to keep her in place. It looks like she is screaming, but I can't be sure, the rain is torrential, I can't even see my hand clearly in front of my face, and the sound of it hitting the deck is deafening.
As the boat thrashes us about, I hold the railing with an iron grip, and watch a guy heave himself half over the edge. I thought he was going over, but his stomach lies against the railing as he vomits. Another man grips him firmly, anchoring him to the boat.
I can no longer stand to look at the chaotic scene unfolding in front of me anymore. The only other option is to stare out into the open water in front of us.
But that is a mistake…
Because the second I turn my head, deaths door opens and emits hell. I freeze in utter shock. The sight before us is one of complete and sheer terror.
We stand at the peak of a giant wave, getting ready to nose-dive into a blue torpedo of angry water.
We are about to be swallowed.
"Oh my God." I hear Edward whisper from close behind me.
The finality in his voice cannot be ignored.
This is not my overactive imagination. We are going to die.
Finally, my body takes pity on me, and I am allowed to shut my eyes for my final seconds. All I can feel and hear is the rapid beat of my heart as we plunge. The boat crashes down, and the sound of wood collapsing smashes any hope that remained that we would come out of this alive.
I wait for the inevitable; the feeling of the cold salty water as we all slowly submerge into our demise.
But it doesn't happen.
Is it over? Did we survive?
I open my eyes, just in time to see us climbing another wave, but it isn't the wave that takes the life's breath out of me.
Holy motherfucking hell.
We don't have to look up to see the black clouds…we are facing them. With the momentum from the last drop we are driving right toward the thundering sky.
"Jasper." I hear Edward's remorse and pain. He may have had more to say, but I know that no more words will be forthcoming. I want to turn around and grab a hold of him, but the boat is almost vertical, and we are already doing everything we can to stay where we are. We cling for our lives, letting a rusty steel railing decide our fate.
Surely the boat won't survive another hit like the last. Something had broken the first time, but who had the inclination to find out what it was? We will either sink or we won't.
We rise to the top of the wave, teetering for a split second, like a roller coaster waiting at the top of mountain, torturing us all, while it readies to make its descent.
And once again I stare down into the mouth of a monster.
White knuckles line the railing as we all instinctively stiffen our bodies for another crashing blow. As the boat plummets into the blackened ocean I squeeze my eyes shut, and hold my breath, waiting for the hit.
And just like the first, the boat slams into the water followed by more cracking of wood. My body is getting tired, and my strength is nearly depleted. My body protests, as I anticipate the next wave, not sure if that is the one that is going to send me over. I brace myself. Waiting…waiting…and then I feel it. Well, actually it is what I don't feel….
The rain. It has stopped, and besides the wind breezily whishing by us, it is eerily quiet.
I open my eyes, and remove the drenched tendrils from my vision to see the tattered boat gliding along calmer waters.
It isn't smooth by any means, the boat jerks back and forth, as it bobs up and down in the water, and on any other fucking day, being in water like this would have scared the shit out of me, but now I could just laugh, I could be relieved, I could have kissed Edward…and so I fucking do all three. With a laugh that is border line delirious I gather a soaked Edward in my arms and kiss the living daylights out of him.
I am confused when he abruptly pulls away. He stumbles over to the edge to hurl. While Edward continues to empty the contents of his stomach over the side of the boat, I check to make sure we hadn't lost anyone. I count bodies, and the count is true.
We are all fucking survivors.
Both of the attendants speak at a furious pace on the walkie-talkie as their breathing is still labored. I have a feeling, from some of their previous actions before and after we left, that they knew damn well that there may be a storm coming, and instead of refunding everyone's money, they risked our lives coming out here, thinking they had a chance to beat the storm.
I am sure whatever Edward, and the others, had paid for us to be here isn't going to be a fraction of the cost it will take to repair the damages the storm caused to the boat.
In several places the floorboards are cracked, and the tent lay in shreds, dangling half in and half out of the water. Two of the tables are now gone, as well as the entire buffet stand.
Three of the passengers are lying along the elongated seat, and the others are sprawled out on the floorboards, regaining their strength. As the adrenaline disintegrates, I feel exhausted and sick. Finding an open space on the small watercraft I drop to the deck as well. I let out another laugh, and I can feel eyes on me. I turn my head to see one of the other passengers that is lying next to me looking at me strangely, and then he laughs too.
He weakly holds out his hand, and I take it in mine, squeezing it, as we both smile at each other.
We actually lived to tell another person about this.
Edward returns and I make room for him next to me. We look at each other with so many mixed emotions. Before I tried to sort through them I look up at the sunset, the sole reason for us to be out here to begin with.
I had never seeing anything as beautiful in my life.
Because Edward and I are alive.
As we wade toward the island, we all sat along the floor, worn, and battered, finally able to find our humor. I lean into Edward and he wraps his arm around me, as we all try to make light of our very real brush with death.
When we arrive back to the resort a crowd has gathered along the shore. We can see people jumping up and down, when they recognize that it is our boat. It is dark now so they were all shadows, but as we draw closer, you can see the shocked expressions on their faces. Hands cover mouths, as wide eyes take in the remains of the boat.
I see Tanya, Felix, Marcus, James, and Emmett waiting anxiously to make sure we are still aboard.
I would have fallen to my knees as soon as I stepped off the boat if it isn't for James rushing up to me, and pulling me into his arms. He squeezes tightly, effectively holding me up. Edward is right behind me, and James doesn't hesitate to open an arm out to Edward who promptly falls into it.
Marcus claps us both on the back with a proud smile on his face. Tanya is in tears, but they are happy ones. Felix looks close to tears himself, but he holds them back with a series of ambiguous sniffles.
Emmett hangs back, and once everyone has come to greet us, Emmett steps through the small crowd that had gathered around us. His eyes are red-rimmed, and I know Edward and he don't get along, but Emmett and I have history, and that shit just doesn't disappear.
I pull him into a hug, and his strong arms wrap around me fiercely. He lets out a bark of laughter that sounds wrought with relief, and clutches me so tight my feet leave the ground momentarily. Edward remains behind me, waiting patiently.
Emmett lets me go and then looks at Edward. The silence stretches uncomfortably, and then, to the surprise of everyone, Emmett stretches out his arm in the form of a handshake. Edward stares blankly at his hand for a moment, but then gathers his wits and slowly extends his own arm, clasping Emmett's hand in his.
There is still animosity between the two, and they will never be friends, but Emmett isn't callous enough to wish death or serious harm to Edward.
Without a need for words, they nod, and let go of each other's hands.
Before me and Edward take off to recuperate from the confines of our own room, we decide to all meet for a late breakfast before we all head to the airport.
Except for Tanya and Felix who will be staying behind an extra week to make sure they had gotten all the shots, and then to get some much needed R and R after working with a bunch of spoiled brats.
We didn't eat dinner that night, opting for bed instead.
We crawl into bed, and I wrap my arm around Edward. We say our goodnights, and he lays his head on my chest, but I am so far from sleep. I am trapped by my torturous thoughts.
We actually defied death today, and the thought of that is surreal.
I almost died today…and so did Edward. It was easy to make light of it, after we had found safety, but lying here in the dark I can think of nothing else, except how short life is. I ponder this thought.
Did it change my mind about my predicament with Edward?
Sadly not. Well, at least not entirely.
"Edward?" I ask, not sure if he is still awake.
He looks up at me wide-eyed. Not even close to looking like he is tired. I am extremely surprised he is still awake after our disastrous evening. "How about you coming to visit me, or vice versa in about...three months, and we can re-evaluate everything." He looks disappointed for a moment.
"Three months?…How about two?" He tries his hand at bargaining, but it is non-negotiable. "You're going to be getting a lot of jobs in the next few weeks, and I think you're going to be pretty busy. Three months will fly by."
Edward looks sad for a second, and then contemplative. Eventually, he brings his eyes to mine. "Okay. I like that idea. You should come to my place." He says shyly.
I cup the cheek that isn't lying on my chest. "Okay. That sounds good." Three months is a long time, but it is a hellavu lot better than never.
I will try not to focus on what Edward will be doing in that time, and then we will be able to see where we stand. With some experience under his belt, maybe he will decide he doesn't like it, which seems pretty laughable, or maybe after going that long without him I will decide that it doesn't matter what he does for a living.
In my heart, I know that won't be the case, but I am willing to keep an open mind for now and we will deal with the rest three months from now.
I put all my misgivings aside because I want to make sure I get some sleep because I plan on waking Edward up very early in the morning for a little rendezvous before breakfast.
I kiss Edward ever so lightly on the head so I don't wake him up.
I shut my eyes, and immediately my insides feel like they are swaying back and forth. With a shocked gasp, my eyes pop open to visually confirm that I am no longer on the water. I steady my breathing, and attempt to shut my eyes again, but my equilibrium is all fucked up and I feel like I am moving from side to side again. I start to panic, my heart starts to beat wildly, and again, my eyes fly open.
"Yeah…that is why I haven't fallen asleep yet." He says out of the darkness.
I sigh heavily.
"Edward, you don't get to plan any more dates."
AN: So, a little suspense with some boy porn. That date night was actually a true story. I added the additional wave, but other than that I had the same experience in Jamaica. We really all thought we were going to die. The next year, we went back and I almost died in another completely different incident. Needless to say, we found other islands to go to after that.
Although I am sure my ex, would have preferred to go once more…third time is a charm, and all that. ANYWAY,
Please let me know what you thought. I would really appreciate it. I will respond as soon as I can figure out what POV I am going to use for the next chapter.