The Way Home
Chapter 20
Disclaimer: See chapter 1
The talk with his father the night before had left Caleb both emotionally exhausted and humbled by the love he felt for the man and from him. It wasn't until Caleb was nearly a teenager that he found a family that he could wholly open his own heart to. Not since the faded memories of the love he felt from his own parents did he experience that unconditional love from another person. That love also was given to him by the unusual group of people that made up his family, that included Jim, Bobby, John, Sammy, and beside his father, the most important person to him, his best friend, his little brother, Dean.
As he had made his way up the stairs of the farmhouse to his room, Caleb again paused and watched his friend sleep. The young Psychic's link to the boy had always been strong, from the moment the child stepped from the Impala all those years ago Caleb could feel everything the boy felt, every pain, every hurt, every fear, and Caleb knew Dean's biggest fear was the same as his own, losing his family. Since the boy had returned to Kentucky with his father, just days ago, the twenty-two year old could feel everything his friend had been fighting so hard to hide. Before passing into his own room, Caleb neared Dean's bed, pulling the teens covers back up over him that had slipped off the side of the bed, he then reached to brush a little bit of hair from the boys forehead, Dean had let it get just a little longer than he normally wore it, giving him more of the boyish appearance that reflected his age. As the teen turned toward the touch, Caleb had gleamed the remaining fear and worry that had settled over the boy's soul. "I'm here when you need me Deuce." Caleb whispered before retreating to his own room.
The light that filtered through the closed blinds told Caleb it was closer to afternoon than morning, glancing at the clock confirmed that, 12:26 pm. Rolling onto his back the younger man closed his eyes again; he couldn't believe he had sleep that long, but for the first time in days he didn't feel completely exhausted. Listening to the sounds of the house Caleb was surprised to only hear the muffled movement coming from the kitchen, reaching out the Psychic picked up on the presence of Jim, who he was sure was probably working on lunch. Reaching a little further Caleb could feel that Sammy and Dean were still on the farm, but his father wasn't. He could only assume Mac had gone into Louisville to bring John home.
Pushing himself up, Caleb made it to the side of the bed, rubbing his eye's he stretched and decided he couldn't sleep the day away, slowly he made his way to the bathroom he shared with the boys and took a shower. Twenty minutes later had the young man making his way into Jim's kitchen. "It's good to see you finally up. Did you sleep well?" The Pastor commented as he finished the sandwiches he had made for lunch, while also working on a few items for dinner.
Making his way to the coffee maker that always seemed to have the dark brew ready to be consumed; Caleb poured a cup and sat down. "I didn't hear anything once I fell asleep, I guess I really did need it, I don't feel as tired as I've been."
Sammy came in the room carrying one of the journal's from the tomb, a confused look on his face, but a smile soon replaced it once he realize Caleb was at the table, "Caleb, you feeling better?"
"Yeah, Runt, I'm doing better. What are you into now? There's no way Johnny's got you researching anything." Sammy set the book on the end of the table as he walked over the refrigerator, getting out the pitcher of ice tea that always resided there, grabbing a glass from the strainer; he made his way back to the table.
"Nothing special, just wanted something to read, these old journals are amazing." Caleb chuckled at the awe that could be heard in the eleven-year olds voice.
"Which journals are you up to my boy?" Jim placed a plate of sandwiches between the two boys, before retrieving his own glass for the tea.
"This one is mid-1800's, it's fascinating to see how hunters were able to research without things like library's in each town, or phones to contact other hunter for info. How did they do it?" Sammy asked as he grabbed a sandwich taking a bite.
"Where there is the desire to rid the world of evil, there is a way to find the information you need. Hunter's of that time spent a great deal of time listening and learning from the Native American's; their folklore was a wealth of information that was useful. We are very lucky that previous hunters felt the need to record what they learned for future generation." Jim took a bite of the sandwich he had placed on his plate, glancing toward Caleb, who had remained quiet. "Are you all right Caleb?"
Caleb's mind had drifted, seeming to automatically connect with Dean, even though the boy wasn't present in the room with him. He could again feel the war of emotions the kid was battling, "I'm good, where's Deuce?"
Giving the young man an understanding look Jim nodded toward the door, "He's at the pond, been out there since breakfast. Perhaps you should take him some lunch." Jim knew the connection between the two boys was strong, but he had also watched how Dean had withdrawn since the whole terrible ordeal had began. The Pastor was worried that it seemed to be taking the teen a little longer than expected to pull himself from his closed off world.
Caleb stood, grabbing another plate from the cabinet, placing a few sandwiches on it, then grabbing a couple of soda's from the frig, he headed out the door. Walking across the yard Caleb could make out his best friends form sitting near the edge of the pond, the younger boy never turning as the Psychic approached. Just as Caleb had done when Dean was younger, he silently sat beside his friend, placing the plate in the grass between them. The older man knew it would take the teen reaching out to him for the true healing to start, when it came to Dean, Caleb would wait until the end of time if it meant helping to bring him back to his family.
Caleb had lost track on how long they had been sitting there, the quiet noises from the nearby woods and the gentle lapping of the pond the only sounds. "It was worse then when mom died." Dean's quiet voice whispered. The Psychic turned his head slightly, looking at his friend's profile; he could easily make out the tear tracks down the boy's cheeks. "I was just a kid, I didn't really understand what I was losing, I only knew it hurt more than anything. But this time…" The teen blew out a deep-breath, looking at his hands that Caleb noticed were slightly shaking, "this time I knew exactly what I was losing and it scared the hell out of me."
"It would scare the hell out of anybody" Caleb replied, his eye's watching his best friend closely as the teen turned his head toward him.
"I wasn't just Dad I thought I was losing…" Dean's breath hiccupped, "It was you too."
There it was again, the realization that his existence in someone else's life made that much of a difference. "I'm not going anywhere Deuce."
Silence settled again for a time before Dean spoke again, "When you collapsed all I felt was useless. I didn't know what was wrong; I didn't know how to fix it…all I could think was that I was failing you somehow. You've always been able to help me, and the one time you needed me I couldn't do anything." Renewed tears started their trek down Dean's face again. The pain Caleb could feel from his friend broke the older man's heart. Dean looked back toward the pond as he continued, "Then Dad…" Rubbing his hands over his face, Dean fought desperately with his emotions as his mind replayed everything that happened in South Dakota. "He looked so…so vulnerable, Dad never looks vulnerable, then his when his heart stopped…" Another quiet sob escaped the teen, "All I could think was I was losing my family, everyone I loved was leaving me. First Mom, then you and Dad…I was losing everyone I cared about. I didn't know how I was going to take care of Sammy; it was killing me, the thought of having to tell him if Dad had died. I felt myself dying along with him."
Caleb felt his own tears slip free, it tore at his soul to think a fifteen-year old kid would or could understand loss so completely that he felt his existence would cease if he lost those he cared about the most. Clearing his throat Caleb spoke, "I would have done anything to have protected you from that, I wish to God I could have been there for you."
"It's not your job to protect me" Dean answered quietly, looking at Caleb.
"It not yours to protect me either Deuce, you can't stop everything that could happen, but you can be there for those you care about when they need you and you were. You were there for me, when I heard you call my name, I felt safe, scared to death, but safe, I knew you would take care of me. When I felt your presence at Bobby's I knew Johnny would be safe because you were there, you would take care of him. I heard Jim tell Dad that you never left Johnny's side. When I heard what you witnessed it about killed me, you shouldn't ever have had to see something like that, but your Dad is okay now, I'm okay…it's time for you to be okay too." Caleb finally reached a hand over, placing it on Dean's shoulder. "And just so you know, it is my job to protect you, that's what big brother's do, we protect our little brothers."
Feeling a little of the weight he had been carrying around lift from his soul, Dean leaned over toward Caleb as the twenty-two year old wrapped his arms around his little brother's shoulders. "Yeah it is what we do." Dean mumbled as he thought of how he had always tried to protect Sammy, finally realizing the Caleb always seemed to do the same thing for him.
Caleb laid his head on the top of Dean's, feeling some the worry and fear the boy had been carrying finally begin to fade. The older man knew it would never go away all together; it was the curse of having people you cared about in your life, that you loved, that wouldn't let the feelings disappear completely. They each lived with the constant fear that those they loved could be stolen away from them, they knew more than most, just how fragile life was, how in an instant evil could rear its ugly head and steal it away. It gave them a better appreciation for the love they felt from other and for others, though sometimes it took near-tragedies to remind them of just how important family was.
A little while later the sound of a vehicle pulling up to the farmhouse drew the boy's attention, "Looks like Mac's back with Johnny."
Caleb turned as Dean made his way to stand, "I need to see if Dad needs any help getting settled." A mischievous smile crossed Caleb's face as Dean glanced down and him, offering a hand. "What?" the teen asked.
Reaching down to grab the untouched plate of food, the two started toward the house, "You think once those pain meds kick in, we could get close to Johnny's cast? That white canvas has been calling to me."
Dean shook his head, "Dude, what's this 'we' shit? Ain't no way I'm willing to poke the dragon and temp Dad's wrath for something your warped mind comes up with."
"Thought you were suppose to cover my ass?" Caleb smiled at his brother.
Shaking his head before picking up his pace to help Mac with John, Dean added, "Man, I'll cover you when we go up against just about anything, but going up against Dad if you so much as write your name on his cast, even I'm not that brave."
Caleb laughed out loud, "Bitch!" He called after the teen.
"Jerk" Dean called back as he opened the car door for his Dad, surprised when the older man willingly accepted his help.