Chapter 10: Brothers

Jessy was still jumping up and down excitedly because her brother had told her about the romantic kiss between him and her best friend. Inwardly, she celebrated herself all the more for having asked Phil to keep [MC] busy during the party preparation phase. Somehow she had already nurtured the ulterior motive. But she didn't hold out a lot of hope. Phil wasn't exactly known for his long and intense relationships.

And [MC] was so attached to that creepy guy.

Jake…

Jessy was still undecided about her opinion of him.

Like the most of the group...

The way he had threatened you remained unforgotten. And Lilly was the first one to forget.

And [MC] had never cared...

As infatuated as she'd always been with him...

Sure, that Jake-Guy had helped find Hannah. Admittedly, he had also played a very big part in it.

But the question remained: why?

The click of the lighter jolted her out of her thoughts.

Maybe [MC] would manage to break him of this unhealthy habit.

" That's like, what, the fourth now?" she asked suspiciously.

"The third," Phil replied annoyed.

"In two minutes.", Jessy giggled light-heartedly. Her strategy to bring up an uncomfortable subject but without provoking an argument. Usually it worked. But increasingly rarely with Phil. This time she seemed to have been lucky. Her older brother just took a drag on his cigarette and exhaled the smoke. Not even provokingly deliberately in her face, as he usually did in such a situation.

/whoosh/

I stumbled out of the women's toilet. Ignored the words of my friends. I glanced briefly at the bar counter without knowing why I was doing so. The sound of the tap was still in my head.

Grimrock...

Jake...

I opened the heavy entrance door. A cold breeze enveloped me. The senses must have set a while ago. However, the moon could only give a little light through the thick dark clouds. On top of that, being a child of the big city, I was used to a larger frame of light pollution. With several blinks, my eyes tried to adapt to the darkness.

"[MC]?", I heard Phil's astonished voice from the right side. Automatically I turned to him. I couldn't help but look at Jessy's grinning face. Somehow, in an indescribable way, it frightened me.

" Did you try to find my brother?" she said in a tone that confirmed my fear. Confused, I looked first at her and then at Phil.

"Phil told me about the kiss you two had," she explained, with a friendly elbow jab to my side, the reason she spoke so in matchmaking mode.

Phil's eye roll indicated to me that he didn't seem particularly enthusiastic either.

"I just wanted to get some fresh air," my voice was emotionless. A wonder, considering the emotional chaos the memories of the kiss triggered in me.

My alcohol level, highlighted by the change from warm to cold, did the rest.

I suddenly felt so warm inside, almost burning hot. This was reflected in the telltale blush on my cheeks. And then there was Phil's mischievous smile. It was my heart that I was currently at war with.

Why did it have to beat so treacherously?

My brain was at least still trying to get me to concentrate on the essentials.

The sound of water...

Waterfall...

Grimrock...

Jake...

I wanted to look for him...

I had to look for him...

But the rest of mine betrayed me. I was dizzy

Damn alcohol...

"Are you alright?", Phil breathed into my ear and goosebumps covered my whole body.

"I just had a drink a bit too much," I explained my swaying gait. But my cheeks, which were as flushed as an apple, still didn't explain in the least.

"You had a fair draught too."

Phil had noticed my rapid consumption of alcohol.

No wonder...

He was a good bartender and always concerned about keeping me supplied.

"What am I meant to do against free drinks?" I tried to cover my weakness with a joke. Phil flicked his cigarette on the floor.

"I'd better get you a glass of water instead," he said in a soft, caring voice. "And if in doubt, you can sober up upstairs in my flat."

However, I wanted to decline his offer with a friendly smile. Except Jessy beat me to it.

"Oh Phil, that's sweet. [MC] accepts the kind invitation."

Damn, I was too drunk to strangle Jessy.

"Jessy?" I heard Phil's annoyed voice. In the next moment I spied him gently pushing her towards the front door. So I found myself standing alone with Phil in front of the Aurora.

/whoosh/

Jessy couldn't be much prouder of herself. It was all going so much better than she could have imagined. Her new best friend had literally stormed out of the bar in looking for her brother. Determined, she headed for the one table with visitors.

"Phil seems to be about to close the bar," she said to her friends, grinning broadly.

"That's fine with me," Cleo commented snappishly.

/whoosh/

"Don't listen to Jessy," he said as he rummaged in his pocket for his packet of cigarettes.

"It was just an offer with no hidden agenda.", and the next moment he was already lighting a cigarette.

"No hidden agenda.", I repeated in first line wonderment as to why he had emphasised this so much.

"I know the way your friends talk about me," he grumbled.

I lowered my eyes as I leaned against the wall.

" Women are just the easiest customers".

Confused, I looked at him.

"I don't want to lump everyone together, but my male clientele becomes more aggressive and pushier as their alcohol consumption increases."

I chuckled in my sweetest voice at his chosen expression.

" and the minute you let a girl who's had too much to drink sleep on the couch so she doesn't get hurt on the way home, you're a womanizer."

I looked at him with wide eyes. I was silent for a moment.

"But you said you thought Hannah wanted to..." more words left my mouth the more I stammered.

"I never said I was a saint either," his voice was dry. "And there's nothing wrong with a consensual one-night stand."

I nodded mutely. Embarrassed, I lowered my gaze. As if I was unprejudiced. Despite my positive first impression, I had let myself be blinded. By all the comments of the others.

Jake's jealousy...

"Sorry I told you about the kiss," not only his voice but also his tense posture showed that he was nervous. And suddenly I realised that Phil's advances weren't just empty phrases. He seemed to be genuinely interested in me.

That gaze...

My heart raced in my chest. Again, scraps of thoughts flew back and forth through my head.

What if Jake was just getting cold feet after all?

After I snapped that thought, a puzzle fell into place.

The wrong thing...

If he wasn't even responding to my cries for help because he was deliberately ignoring me or to put it in teenage terms: Ghosted me...

And I would push away the man who was really interested in me.

Who was there...

" That's okay," I murmured, actually much too late. Still, my words conjured a smile on his seductive lips.

I didn't want to be alone anymore...

He flicked his cigarette on the floor.

All I wanted was to feel a little closeness...

With a jerk I detached myself from the supporting wall. The alcohol not only dulled my senses, but also influenced my way of thinking unnoticed.

Just to feel some physical closeness...

"Careful.", Phil said lovingly and supported me. I in turn smiled shyly at him. "I hope you aren't mad at me about that kiss...", his voice was just a whisper now.

An erotic whisper...

At least in my perception. Phil and the alcohol managed to flip all my switches to flirt mode.

Why should I wait until never-never for Jake?

And if Jake would still take pity on me and grace me with his presence, then even more so if I got closer to his hated bartender...

So if I was finally going to see him, I had to...

"Maybe I should take you up on your offer," I said in a particularly sweet voice. To emphasise my intention, I snuggled closer to him. And then I saw him, the flush on his cheeks.

The expression of his embarrassment...

Where had his self-confident manner gone?

He swallowed nervously and then opened his mouth briefly. But he had probably not reckoned with my brain in high-function mode. Within milliseconds, the following trains of thought had been processed by me. First, I had noticed that the alcohol made me seem more confident.

Made me bolder...

Then there were the cocktails Sex on the Beach...

Phil had deliberately given me the drink with the suggestive name after all...

Sex...

He wanted it...

I wanted it...?

I would get it...!

If Jake wanted to stop my sexy bed adventure with Mr. Aurora, he should show up now!

/whoosh/

The group, driven by Cleo and Thomas, had quickly cleaned up the bar. Except for Dan, who, with his seat in the wheelchair, finally found a perfect excuse not to take part in all the cleaning activities. Not even the ones he could have done with ease.

For Lilly, Dan was always like a big protective brother. And maybe that was the reason why his laziness had never bothered her.

Men are like that...

Dan is like that...

But now it had made her nervous. Again and again her eyes had wandered to the front door.

What was [MC] doing with Phil so long?

Alone...

"I'll let [MC] know," she overplayed her nervousness as the rest of the group were in the final stages of getting ready to leave.

"Oh, never mind.", Jessy fluted cheerfully. Dan's disdainful snort was the first reaction to these words. But Jessy was not deterred by this. She continued to flute cheerfully, "We should give these two some time together."

This time Dan added an eye roll to his contemptuous snort.

With a gulp, Lilly summoned the courage she needed, "But [MC] is with Jake." But she couldn't hide the anxious tremor in her voice after all. Only the others didn't really seem to share her concern.

As feared...

"Oh, is that so?", the younger Hannah's wound was also in those sarcastic words.

"Yeah, where's Hackerboy, then?", Dan in turn just wanted to provoke.

"Jake had his reasons.", it was almost like a mantra that Lilly kept repeating down at her sister. A routine that this time made her forget the word definitely.

A mistake that was met with a sceptical look from her older sister. The nervousness in Lilly's body only allowed one conclusion: escape outside.

The young woman had to talk to [MC] now, before the others could still pry Jake's secret out of her.

/whoosh/

I couldn't tell, but I found myself in passionate tongue play with Phil.

Somehow...

It wasn't just my thoughts that felt empty. Everything, especially Phil's touches and kisses felt so surreal. As if none of this was happening right now.

As if I wasn't present...

And somehow it just felt so good. Finally this unbearable pain had dissolved. In comparison, the loss of the more beautiful feelings was just a small price to pay.

All this was merely the proof I had lost hope of a happy ending for far too long.

And an ending together with Phil was still better than the fact that I would have to deal with myself forever.

Phil pressed me closer to the wall. His lips against my ear whispered : "I have condoms upstairs." Again we kissed, his hand sliding further up the inside of my thigh.

Where the hell was Jake?

A shrill scream, which had the same syllables as my name, interrupted Phil's and my activity. To elaborate, Phil let go of me and I stood there disoriented and staggering.

Kind of in the nothingness...

I didn't even hear Jessy rush out of the Aurora because of Lilly's shocked scream. Nor did I hear Lilly's accusation that I was about to cheat on my boyfriend.

"You have a boyfriend?!", Phil's hurt voice slowly brought me back to reality.

His offended expression was the first thing I noticed again. And this image burned itself into my memory with an unbearable pain.

What had happened?

What had I done?

The next moment I heard the door to Aurora close.

"[MC]?! What were you thinking?" Lilly's reproaches began to rain down on me.

"Let her be!", Jessy nagged back.

"Doesn't Jake mean anything to you anymore?" returned Lilly.

"Jake doesn't seem to have any interest! My brother does!"

They both took on the role of angel and devil on my shoulders.

These moral quandaries voiced by them were like knife wounds. And the pain that had disappeared only a few seconds ago burst upon me in such massive strength.

"Stop trying to hook me up as one of your brothers," I roared out my despair. With brisk steps, I walked past my two friends. I had to get away. Just away.

Somewhere.

I just couldn't be here anymore.

So I walked into the night of Duskwood just as carelessly as my words before.

/whoosh/

His gaze turned to the cloudy night sky. A deep sigh escaped his dry throat. One leg lay on the dusty forest floor. The other was bent. His back and the back of his head were leaning against the thick tree trunk. Despite the summer months, the nights were still cold. But his optimism showed in the fact that he was very relieved that it had stayed dry for at least the last few days.

But as he looked at the clouds, he knew that it wouldn't stay like this for much longer.

At least some drinking water...

The growling of his stomach made him look in his backpack for something to eat.

He quickly found what he was looking for.

An apple...

The last remnant of his petty theft. He knew it was wrong. That it had been risky. But as he had strolled past the big apple tree, his empty stomach had taken over. And the next moment he had seen himself climbing over the garden fence.

Although it could have endangered everything.

Everything he was doing for her...

Otherwise he wouldn't have been able to do it either.

There was nothing and no one who meant so much to him that he didn't bother about any of this.

On the contrary, he was happy to do it.

Just for the chance to see her one day, even if only for a few minutes.

That would be enough for him.

It wasn't that he dreamt of other things too.

Making eye contact for once...

To see her smile once...

Being able to hold her in his arms just once...

Maybe really being able to kiss her just once...

But he didn't allow himself to imagine anything like that...

This was too much to hope for.

Being able to see her at least once would be enough for him.

It would be more than enough.

And for that, all that he was currently going through was a small price to pay in comparison.