Kyle laid in his tub looking up at the ceiling. The confusing thoughts of where he now stands with Declan and Josh continues to plague him. It was late in the evening. The only light in his room was from the desk lamp. It was a windy evening. The wind howled violently and the branches of the trees outside crackled. Kyle put his hands to his temples in frustration. Words couldn't describe the turmoil he was in, only the sound of the violent winds howling outside.

He didn't make a sound and his expression remained blank as tears began to blur his vision then run down the side of his face. He let out a trembling sigh in an attempt to try and calm himself. He put the palm of his hands over his eyes and clenched his teeth. Drowning in frustration, confusion and heart break, he felt cornered. What's right and what's wrong anymore? Who's good for him? What is love?

What have I gotten myself into?

Kyle climbed out of his tub and walked over to his desk. He stood there looking down at all the things he had laid out on it. Suddenly he violently shoved it all off and kicked the chair into the wall in a fit of rage. He then dropped himself on the floor and hugged his knees to his chest.

A light knock at his door startled him.

"Kyle?"

It was Josh.

Kyle didn't respond. He just sat there.

Josh invited himself in and saw Kyle sitting there in front of the desk with his head between his knees. The desk lamp now on the floor flickered making the room appear quite eerie. He walked over to the dark haired boy and knelt down and placed a hand on his back.

"What's wrong?" Josh whispered.

Kyle picked him head up wiped the tears off his face. "Nothing. I'm okay."

"From the tears in your eyes and the destruction you made of your room, you're not."

"Josh please... I don't want to talk about it..."

Josh became saddened and remained silent for a moment. "I'm here for you if you need anything okay?" He embraced Kyle and planted a soft kiss on Kyle's lips and showed himself out. Kyle's lips tingled with the sensation of Josh's lips against his and as Josh left, he began crying again.

Kyle picked himself up and unplugged his desk lamp then returned back inside his tub.

Maybe when I wake up it will all go away?

He wished. He awoke the following day and the pain still lingered. But why continue to worry others more? Let's just put on this mask and pretend it's all okay, he thought. Walking into the living room, he was stopped as Josh wrapped his arms around him from behind and pulled him close.

Josh rested his head against Kyle's warm back. "Last night... I know you've been through so much. We both have. I'm having a hard time to cope with it too but please. I don't want you to feel so hurt anymore." Josh said.

Kyle smiled and broke away from Josh and turned around to face him. "Don't worry. I'm okay."

Josh looked at Kyle's face and frowned. "You're good at a lot of things but you're not very good at hiding your emotions."

"Declan said those same exact words to me."

Josh grabbed a hold of the older teen again. "I'm not Declan."

Not sure at what to say, Kyle just held Josh closer. "Nothings been decided between us though. What are we doing?" Kyle asked.

Josh hesitated. "All I know is I really care about you. I discovered a new affection for you and I all I want is to make you happy."

Kyle shoved Josh off him, knocking the younger boy to the floor. "Affection this, emotion that! I don't know what's what anymore! I feel like I'm running around in circles. What have I gotten myself into? What kind of sick game is this?"

Josh got to his feet and started toward Kyle again. Josh broke away from Kyle's arms that were trying to shove him again and hugged him. Kyle put one arm around Josh's back as he backed up against the wall and dropped to the floor.

What could he say to make this all better? Kyle was right. Everything is fucked up beyond words. Josh burried his face in Kyle's chest and held him tight. Kyle silently cried and held Josh closer. He looked over to the side and saw Nicole and Stephen who have been watching them sneakingly. They weren't doing a very good job at being discreet at all.

Kyle just turned his attention back to Josh and rested his chin in Josh's soft hair.

"I'm still not exactly sure what's going on." Stephen told his wife.

Nicole shook her head. "I think it's best if we stayed out. We'll only make it awkward for them and possibly even worse."

Stephen shrugged his shoulders in an "okay, fine by me" agreement.

"What's your opinion in all this?" She asked him.

He shrugged again. "I'm not homophobic if that's what you're trying to ask me. Other than that, I'm not sure if I even have an opinion. I'm not angry. Just... Very sorry for them."

The following days were awkward between Kyle and Josh. Josh longed to hold Kyle while Kyle didn't seem to want any human contact at all anymore. Was he falling for Kyle? Was he falling in love? He wasn't sure himself anymore. Kyle made a point that day. He himself became unsure of what he was feeling now. All he knew is that he deeply cares about Kyle and just wants to hold him again. To taste his lips again.

Kyle texted Declan and told him he needed to see him asap. He waited in his room awaiting Declan to show up at his window like he always seems to do these days.

There was a tapping at his window. It was Declan, obviously. Kyle let him in. "Hey.. It's been a while." Declan said.

"Yeah..."

Declan felt the awkward aura around Kyle. Nothing was right with Kyle and he knew why. It's all his fault and he knew it.