"I thought the next project was that Magic deal."
Weapons-development, NERV-Alaska. Dr. Mondschein was introducing the plans for the next project with Allan Fisher.
"We can't do that," Dr. Mondschein stated, "How the hell are we going to gain access to Magic?"
"You promoted the guy who proposed it!"
"Well, yeah. Doesn't mean I have to follow through with it."
Fisher let out a disappointed sigh.
"Alright. What's the next project?"
"Well, I've only seen it done once, but I think we can replicate it. Are you a fan of First Person Shooters, per chance?"
"Get to the point, Doc."
"Getting to it. Answer the question."
"In my spare time, yes."
"In some first person shooters, namely the Unreal Tournament games, there are teleporters, right?"
"Right."
"What happens when one person is standing in the out-end of a one way teleporter?"
"They get killed."
"Telefragged, exactly! Two bodies can't occupy the same space, so the incoming body effectively rips through the body occupying the Out-end of the portal!"
"And the point of this is…?"
Dr. Mondschein sprouts a devilish grin on his face. He produces a blueprint from seemingly nowhere and lays it on the table in front of the head of Weapons Development.
"Mr. Fisher, I present to you…"
PROJECT: TELEFRAG
"What do you have in mind for the project?"
"Well, it would be a weapon for Unit 01."
"The one with access to the Dirac Armory?"
"Yes."
"Alright. I'll see what I can do," He looked over the blueprints, "Something like this, though… It's going to take time."
"Take as much time as you need."
Dr. Mondschein started to walk away, but Fisher had one last thing on his mind.
"Oh, and Doc?"
Dr. Mondschein turned on his heels.
"Yeah?"
"What are we gonna do with our second EVA?"
"Keep it. You never know when a second one could come in handy."
"Alright."
He's on the train back home. Not as the head of NERV-Alaska, but as Dream Mondschein. He sees NERV-HQ get smaller and smaller, until it's finally out of view. It's done. The day is done. He doesn't have to worry about insanity, or awesomeness. He's allowed to be human. He's allowed to be a father. He opens the door to his apartment, and finds his son working on something.
"What're you working on, kiddo?"
"Oh, hey dad," The teenager says, without looking up from his paper, "Just some homework. Have to write a short story."
"What are you writing about?"
"No clue. It's writing itself."
"Yeah, I know how that feels," He smiles, "You remind me of myself at your age, Adam."
"So you keep telling me."
"I know, I know," He sits down at the table, across from Adam, "So. What do you want to do for supper?"
"Pizza."
"Pizza it is."
He gets up from the table, and walks over to the phone.
"Hey, dad?"
"Yeah?"
"What do you do?"
"What do you mean?"
"Where do you work? What do you do there? How come, sometimes, you come home with a crazy smile on your face?"
"If I told you, I'd have to kill you. And I don't want to kill you."
"Then give me a hint."
"Well, I'm a scientist."
"I know that. What do you do?"
"I research… ways to make this planet safer."
"Really?"
"Without going into details that would require murder? Yes."
"Do you have anything to do with that bright light last week?"
"… You saw that?"
"Dad, I think all Alaska saw it."
"Either way, I can't tell you for sure. On a completely separate subject, Anti-matter is an amazing explosive."
"I thought you made the planet safer."
"Who said that Anti-matter had anything to do with my job? I was just saying it's an amazing explosive."
A smile appeared on both of their faces.
"You're right," Adam said, "How silly of me."
One week later…
Dr. Mondschein was in his office, looking over some schematics that were given to him from various sources.
"Ayanami, Kiko. Trash. Ayanami, Kiko. Trash. Ayanami, Nana… Pending. SEELE-06. Approved. NERV-1 Weapon Development…"
This went on all day. Looking over schematics. By this point, he could look at who submitted the schematic and almost immediately determine whether or not the project would be approved. Then his door opened.
"Hey, Doc?"
"Yes, Mr. Fisher?"
"There's something… off about this project. And Quatre agrees with me."
"How so?"
"Well," A hologram of Unit-04 appeared, standing next to Fisher, "an experiment quite similar to Project Telefrag was already done on this base. I couldn't gain access to much more then it's name."
Ah, yes. The AI for Unit-04 became an AI consultant for weapons development. The staff had given him the nickname 'Quatre,' four in Latin.
The staff at NERV-Alaska was smart. But they weren't original.
"How did you learn this?" Dr. Mondschein asked.
"On a whim," Fisher answered, "I had Quatre look through previous experiments to find out how to improve the teleportation systems."
"What did you learn?"
"Project ALTER. For one, the experiment took place shortly after you joined NERV. You probably didn't have access to it, as you weren't as high in the ladder as you are now. Secondly, we know it involved alternative realities."
"And you couldn't learn more then that?"
"No." Fisher interjected.
Dr. Mondschein scratched the back of his head.
"Do you know if you can gain access to some of the equipment from Project ALTER?"
"Nothing significant."
"Nothing significant is better then nothing. I'll look into it. Maybe with my higher clearance, I can gain access to some project notes or something. Until then, resume work on Project Telefrag."
"Alright."
"You're the boss, Boss."
The hologram disappeared, and Fisher left the office. He leaned on the desk, and tented his hands in front of his face.
"This is not good."
Weeks passed. Projects were looked over, approved, denied, and put on hold. But the crew working on Project Telefrag worked on. Small scale experiments proved successful, aside from one incident involving an unlucky cat. Generally, the project was running smoothly. Then came the moment of truth. Again, Dr. Mondschein was in his office, looking over schematics. The hologram of Quatre appeared in front of his desk.
"Boss."
"Yes, Quatre?"
"Project Telefrag is completed."
"Excellent!"
"What should we use for testing?"
Dr. Mondschein paused, and thought for a second.
"Well… We could outfit a Test-Type Eva with the weapon, but…"
"But…?"
"You haven't gotten to stretch out your legs in a while."
If he could, Quatre would probably be smiling.
"Does that mean…?"
Dr. Mondschein smiled for him.
"Tell Mr. Fisher to outfit Unit-04 with Project Telefrag."
"I'm gonna need some tunes, Boss."
"Already taken care of. Have fun."
"I'm sure I will, Boss!"
The hologram disappeared.
The staff of NERV-Alaska was standing in the command center. Dr. Mondschein was at the top, and everyone was looking at the view screen. Unit-04 was standing in a field that was mostly empty, save for a mock-building in front of it.
"Unit-04 is in position." One of the bridge bunnies, Lieutenant Barret reported.
Dr. Mondschein smiled.
"Hit it." (.com/watch?v=UDuBBcIaLjQ)
Unit-04 raised a crude looking rifle and took aim at the building.
"Okay," Fisher said, "We decided to alter Project Telefrag slightly. Doc, your first plan was to have the Eva itself teleport. That was going to be a problem. We couldn't manage to teleport anything much larger then a human being. So what we have now is this rifle. The rifle contains a teleportation device, and upon firing, teleports the rounds into the target."
"How does it manage to differentiate targets?" Dr. Mondschein asked, "And you can't calculate such small scale teleportations in the middle of battle."
"No, the rifle does that for us. The rifle is outfitted with a scanner that links up with the AI in the Eva. All the pilot needs to do is target something and fire. From there, a simple AI in the rifle calculates the trajectory, and fires."
"Excellent. You may proceed, Quatre."
"On it, Boss."
"Oh, and there's one more thing." Fisher interjected.
"What is it now?"
"We outfitted these rounds with a mini-teleport device. Upon entering the target, the round proceeds to make 3-5 short range transports. After the device burns out, it detonates and explodes within the target."
"Mr. Fisher, I like the way you think."
"Thanks, Doc."
"Alright, can we proceed now?"
"I'm done."
"Alright. Go ahead, Quatre."
Out in the field, Unit-04 levelled his rifle with the building. He took a second to listen to the music currently playing in his head.
"Appropriate."
With that, he pulled the trigger.
No recoil. No flash, no nothing. The ammo indicator in the corner of his eye, however, indicated that the magazine had one less round in it.
"Slightly underwhelming. Boss, how was that?"
In the command center, everyone was slightly disappointed. The bridge bunnies looked at their screens.
"Structural integrity of the building has decreased, Dr. Mondschein."
"Yeah…"
He was expecting the building to collapse.
"That's odd…"
"What is it, Mr. Fisher?"
"The mini-teleporter didn't kick in."
There was a slight murmur in the command center.
"Mr. Fisher?"
"Yes?"
"Would it be safe to do a barrage?"
"Theoretically? Yes."
"Excellent! Quatre, distance yourself from the building!"
"Can do, Boss."
On the view screen, they watched as Unit-04 backed away from the building. When it was a good distance away, it turned.
"Okay," Dr. Mondschein said, "Quatre?"
"Yes, Boss?"
"Go crazy."
"You got it!"
Out in the field, Unit-04 levelled his rifle to the building, and held the trigger. The building started to crack and eventually, after a couple seconds of concentrated fire, completely collapsed.
"Well, that was more satisfying."
But then the rubble started to stir.
"And that can't be good."
The rounds that everyone thought were dormant began to teleport spam. Every teleport was accompanied by an orange flash. The bullets were teleporting randomly, in every direction. And they were teleporting MUCH more then 3-5 times.
"Ummm… Boss?"
"Quatre, get out of there!"
"Don't have to tell me twice!"
Unit-04 ran towards the catapult that it used to get up to the surface. He was just about to reach it when an orange flash engulfed his leg. A bunch of bullets had teleported directly into his left leg, ripping it apart. Thankfully, the left leg was still the leg of a Test-Type Eva. He crawled slowly towards the catapult, and finally managed to reach it.
On the bridge…
"Bring the catapult down NOW!" Dr. Mondschein shouted.
"Aye, Sir!"
"Mr. Fisher, care to explain yourself?"
Fisher was mesmerized by the screen.
"Mr. Fisher?"
Fisher shook his head, and looked at Dr. Mondschein.
"I don't know what to say. The teleporters should have burnt out by now! This doesn't make sense?"
"Did you use parts from Project ALTER?"
"Well, yeah!"
"What did you use?"
"We used some of the materials, synthesized the things we didn't have on hand, but nothing too extreme!"
"Per chance, did you use a black crystal in the actual bullets?"
"Black… Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?"
"Everything," Dr. Mondschein replied, "Lieutenant Barret, activate the ARKS."
"Activating ARKS." He reported
"ARKS?" Fisher asked.
The bullets were teleporting erratically throughout the air, spreading out in every direction. Around the main field, towers raised up out of the ground. They looked inconspicuous, but the area in between each tower was… different. The bullets seemed to become attracted to these towers.
"The bullets are heading towards the towers, sir!"
"Good," Dr. Mondschein sighed, "As soon as they pass in between the towers, deactivate the ARKS."
"Aye, sir."
And they waited. They watched the screen as the orange flashes appeared closer and closer to the towers. Finally, the majority of the rounds were past the towers.
"Deactivating ARKS."
And then the area in between each tower seemed to… close. The bullets disappeared, and the towers sunk back down into the ground.
"Crisis averted, right?" Fisher asked.
That's when the alarms started blaring.
"Thank you, Mr. Fisher." Dr. Mondschein deadpanned.
An orange flash appeared on the view screen, and a bullet embedded itself in the screen. It flashed orange again and vanished.
"That's not good," Dr. Mondschein said, "That's not good at all."
"Sir, the round is advancing towards The Garden!"
"Can we stop it, lieutenant?"
"At this rate?" Lieutenant Barret typed something on his computer, "No. No we can't."
"Great. Just Great."
"Hold on," Fisher exclaimed, "What the hell is going on? ARKS? The Garden? Explain, Doc!"
"No," Dr. Mondschein said, simply.
"Why the hell not?"
"Because. If I told you, I would have to kill you. And trust me, I don't want to kill you. Too much paperwork, would have to assign a new head of Weapons development. Too much work."
An explosion rocked the command center.
"I take it, Mr. Fisher, that that explosion was supposed to happen?"
"Yes… but not here."
"Sir?" Barret said, "The gate has been breached."
WE ARE.
THROUGH LICENSE OF A FAKE, WE ARE.
THOUGH WE BELONG NOT TO LILITH, NOR TO ADAM, WE ARE.
WE WILL MAKE OURSELVES HEARD.
OUR WRATH MAY NOT EXTEND TO ALL CORNERS OF THE GLOBE,
BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE.
WE WILL DESTROY.
NOTHING IS SAFE.
WE ARE THE HERALDS.
AND WE WILL WAIT NO LONGER.
"The Garden was housing ANGELS?" Fisher shouted.
"Among other things? No." Dr. Mondschein replied, "Not exactly. Where do you think the Test-Type Angel came from?"
"I… I didn't really think of that. What's IN The Garden?"
"Maybe someday, I'll show you. Lieutenant, how many Pattern Blues do you detect?"
"None now, Sir. They all seem to have left."
"Okay, how many were there?"
"At most, Sir? Four."
"Four Angels?" Fisher couldn't believe it, "Are they going to attack NERV-1?"
"No. They won't."
"How do you know for sure?"
"I just do, Mr. Fisher."
A pause. Everyone in the room looked scared. No one was sure what to do next. No one except Dr. Mondschein.
"Unit-04 won't be able to handle this alone." Fisher stated, "Even when it's completely regenerated. We need both Unit-04 and Unit-14."
"I hate to say this," Dr. Mondschein stated, a disappointed look on his face. "But we need pilots.
A hologram of Unit-04 appeared in the command center.
"I've accessed the database, and we already have one pilot selected."
Dr. Mondschein frowned.
"I know."
PROJECT TELEFRAG: PROJECT PUT ON HOLD INDEFINITELY, UNTIL SUCH A TIME THAT APPROPRIATE MODIFICATIONS CAN BE MADE.