Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight,

It was then that I realised how much I needed Jacob Black.

"Bella I seriously think this is not a good idea..." Tyson started,

"Yeah Bella, what good is it going back? You don't need them, you have us." Ben added.

I sighed. The boys had been going on about my departure since the moment I told them.

"It's temporary," I said, throwing a few more pairs of underwear into my suitcases.

"How temporary?" Ben persisted.

"Yeah," Tyson added for emphasis.

Far out. Give it a rest.

I went over a pushed Ben down onto my bed, so I was looking down on him. I beckoned to Tyson and he did the same.
"Look, guys, I just don't know. It could be a few days or a few months. But I do know that I need to do this. I'm not going off on some wild escapade, I'm going to see my Father, you know, the man who raised me?" I said, raising my eyebrows at them.

Sure, it wasn't the whole truth, but it was the best truth. I was going to see Charlie, but I wasn't going just for him. Of course I longed for my Dad like crazy, but the other night reminded me of another kind of longing I couldn't ignore anymore. Jacob.

"I thought..." Tyson began in a tiny voice, one he didn't often acquire. "I thought it hurt to much to go back." He finished, looking at his feet. I softened. Tyson was pushy and loud and obnoxious but deep down he really was one of the sweetest guys I knew. I looked at Ben and he was gazing at me with such sympathy that I wanted to give him a hug.

So I did.

I hugged Tyson and gave him a kiss on the cheek and when I hugged Ben he pulled me down onto his lap and held me tight. I decided not to move, he was warm and strong.

"I'll miss you all," I whispered into his chest, hoping they would all hear me. Bree had been sitting quietly on my desk, but I heard the padding of her feet as she moved towards us. When I looked up, she had taken up position on Tyson's lap.

"Look at us," I said, giving a grin. "Acting like someone has died. I'm coming back, remember? I could never go long without you lot, you're my best friends." I said, wrapping my arms around Ben and looking from Tyson to Bree.

"Can we come with you?" Ben whispered in my ear. I knew the other two had heard. They all looked at me expectantly, it hurt.

So I began to cry.

There was nothing I wanted more than to take all three of them with me, we would have the best fun, and they would love the States. But I couldn't. Something deep down told me I had to do this by myself. I needed to face my old skeletons, and I could never do it properly if half of my previous life was a lie to my best friends.

And I could never, ever, ever unleash the complications of the supernatural world to them.

"Hey, don't cry," Ben said, using his t-shirt to wipe my tears away. But I noticed his eyes were brimming red, Bree was dripping in tears and Tyson was staring off in the other direction.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I need to do this by myself." I said, turning my head into Ben's chest. I couldn't face them.

"It's okay, Bella." I heard Bree whimper to me.

"Yeah, we understand." Tyson added.

"Just don't forget us." Ben croaked, and it made me cry even harder.

The truth was, I was scared of what I was heading to. What if Jacob had moved, what if he had imprinted? Worse still... what if he didn't want to see me. The last option made me want to throw myself off another cliff, this time not to resurface.

I felt the weight on the bed shift as Tyson and Bree left the room. I didn't often cry, and they all knew I hated people watching me in tears. But I clung to Ben's shirt even after the others had left.

"Don't leave." I whispered to him. I needed someone to keep me strong.

"Never." He said.

My tears eventually ran out, and my eyes began to return to their usual size. Ben had rocked me and stroked my hair for a good half an hour until I finally sobered up.

I looked up, "Sorry," I said, giving him a wry smile.

"It's no problem," He said, smiling. I leaned up to give him a kiss. My lips lingered a little too long, and before I knew it he was pulling me closer. I turned on his lap so I was facing him, wrapping my legs around his waist. I broke from the kiss and moved to his neck, tracing a line of kisses all the way back to his lips. I was savoring him, his scent, his stubble, the way his bottom lip jutted out slightly. His arms were brushing my back and my hands were locked in his messy brown mane of hair.

I pulled him to me, holding him close. His lips were soft and warm and full and they reminded me of the time Jacob and I had shared our kiss. When I had let him have me for those few seconds. I regretted not enjoying it much, Jacob was an amazing kisser.

Mmm, Jacob.

I was lost in a flurry of thoughts of the beautiful werewolf. His hands tracing down my hips to my waist. I kissed Jacob deeper and deeper and pulled him so there was no space between us. My hands traced the bottom of his shirt before I hoisted it up and off. His body was beautiful, so chiseled, Ben was.

Wait. Ben?

Ben!

I was with Ben, not Jacob, and going a hell of a lot further than I should be. I broke away from Ben, and he rolled gently off me.

"I'm sorry..." I said, a little embarrassed of my actions.

"Don't be," He said in a hushed tone. I raised my hands to my lips, it had felt so real, like Jacob was here with me.

Oh God, now I was hallucinating.

"Let's go," I said, grabbing Ben's hand and leading him out the room.

***

"Flight 122 to Phoenix, last call for boarding." Came the female automated voice over the speakers.

"Okay, this is it, our last goodbye. Take care, look after each other and be good." I said, giving Bree, Ben and Tyson a hug.

"Call me, a lot." Bree said, with a hint of a threat.

"Are you sure you will be okay with the studio?" I said guiltily.

"Of course, Tila is coming down, you know that Bella, stop worrying. Just remember to stay safe." She said, squeezing me extra tight.

"Bella, you're gate is closing..." Ben pointed out.

"Shit! Well, I love you all! Don't miss me too much." I called, blowing kisses to each one of them before running through my gate.

I really was going to miss them, I thought as I took my seat in the massive jumbo jet that was my one-way route to my old life.

"Well, here goes nothing." I muttered to myself as the plan took off.

What I really meant was here goes everything.

Jacob's coming up soon... excited?