Sirius wandered the Hogwarts grounds aimlessly. He wasn't exactly sure where he was going, or what kind of answers he expected to find. An empty bottle of Firewhiskey, or something equally alcoholic, he wasn't exactly sure what he had grabbed out of Severus' cupboard, dangled from his hand. "I really hope that wasn't some kind of poison…"Sirius muttered to himself."Not that it would matter much." He pulled his cloak, one he'd borrowed from Severus, since most of his winter wardrobe was still in France, tighter around his shoulders. It was unusually cold for early December, he thought, or maybe Sirius was just getting old.
"I hate winter. I hate the snow, the cold, the damp…the memories…"Sirius turned around, startled by the sudden intrusion on his thoughts.
"Aren't you supposed to be in the castle, making sure the broom closets stay empty, and prevent disgruntled students from jumping off the astronomy tower, Sev?" He offered his brother a small smirk, the only mirth his weary soul could muster.
"The broom closets were exceptionally empty tonight, you, James, and Gawain were the only students who ever attempted to jump off the astronomy tower, and it seems that most of the students share my opinion of the cold."A concerned look passed Severus' face. Since they had made the decision to attempt the Love Magic spell, or a modified version of it, that Hermione had found after a careful search of Severus' contraband book, Sirius had been distant and reckless, a dangerous combination. He'd never seen Sirius this reckless, and that was saying something. "You really shouldn't be this close to the Forbidden Forest when you're under the influence of…"Severus summoned the bottle from his brother's hand."The Harmony Blend, a specially formulated alcohol product, guaranteed to be hangover free, or your money back. Harry and Draco's special brew…I hear it's quite popular at the Three Broomsticks now."
"Little late for you to be worried about me going into Forest or my drinking, isn't it?" Sirius slurred. "Been in there loads of times…by myself, without you around. I don't need my big brother following me around, making sure I don't get hurt. If anyone is going to get hurt, they'll get hurt just by being around me."
Severus could have sworn he had time-traveled back a few years and that it was his nephew standing in front of him instead of his brother. "It's finally clear to me where Harry gets his self-pity streak. I have no idea why I didn't figure this out earlier," he muttered. He hoped that the same rational tactics he'd used with Harry would work. "You do realize, Sirius, that not one person has died because of circumstances that you caused."
Sirius tried to protest. "James and Lily…"
"…Were killed by a combination of circumstances that none of us could have foreseen or prevented." That wasn't entirely true, since Voldemort had forced Severus to come with him on that fateful Halloween, but there was no way, at that time, that Severus could have fought Voldemort, even with Lily and James' help. The three of them certainly were more powerful than Voldemort, if not individually, then collectively, but three twenty-one year olds going against a Dark wizard with decades more experience would have been suicidal. Lily and James had been killed as it was.
"You can't deny, Severus, that Moony was killed because he knew us. There's no possible reasoning your overly intelligent and sober mind can come up with that will convince me otherwise."
The older wizard took a deep breath. Could he really try to convince Sirius that Remus really hadn't died because of his association with the Blacks, Potters, and Gawain Malfoy? Severus wasn't entirely sure of that one himself. "For once, Padfoot, I don't have the answers. I wish I did. I wish there were more than two Marauders left, even though, somehow, I knew that you and I would be the last ones left. I wish Harry and Draco weren't Merlin knows where with Abraxas bloody Malfoy. I don't want to perform a spell that I can't predict the outcome of anymore than you do, but for Merlin's sake, Siri, we've got to." He had grabbed Sirius' shoulders sometime during his speech and Severus' dark eyes were locked with Sirius'. Severus had never sounded so desperate. "We promised. We promised."
Magic was radiating from Severus in waves. Had Sirius not been equally powerful, the magic probably would have killed him. As it was, that magic was enough to purify the alcohol from his system. He had to face the facts. "I'm scared, Sev. And when I'm scared I do really stupid things, and make my family members rescue me, when it's usually others that need rescuing."
"I know. You don't have to drink your fears away. I speak from experience when I say that they only come back seven-fold when you sober up. We have two days left before the conditions will be right to perform that spell, and I would rather not spend what could be the last two days of my life arguing with my favorite brother." Severus sighed.
"Don't let Regulus hear you say that. He's been in Hogsmede lately, demonstrating Hermione, Harry, and Draco's animal control spells." Sirius smirked. "You don't like arguing with me, Sev? I'm hurt. I thought that was your favorite pastime."
Severus rolled his eyes. "There's the Sirius Black we're used to. As a small confession, I do enjoy a good argument now and again, but I'd rather it be something less…emotional."
The two turned back toward the castle. "How did Minerva take it when you told her? Hermione and I were sure she'd beg you to find another way. She loves the two of us far more than she should…especially after all the stuff we've put her through."
Severus nodded. "She was so quiet. I'm used to her walking around, pacing, yelling…anything but the blasted silence. That's my usual routine. I think this last episode with Abraxas has taken more out of her, out of all of us, than she'd like to admit. When she finally spoke, she asked what would happen if we didn't succeed…"
"You did tell her there was the possibility that if this goes wrong, all four of us could…"Sirius looked up at Sev.
"I couldn't do it, Siri. I could not stand in front of my superior, my friend, my second mother, and tell her that if this doesn't work, the four of us will be dead. I was the one that told her about Lily and Prongs, and Moony, and Winter…I was even the one who told her Wormtail had been caught. I told her that Harry and Draco were gone. Every time I've gone into her office over the past two years, with very few exceptions, I've been the bearer of ill tidings, and I just couldn't do it."
Sirius put a reassuring hand on Severus' shoulder. "That shows just how much knowing Harry has changed us all. Five, six years ago, you would have walked in there, delivered your carefully worded lines, and left, all without feeling the tiniest bit of emotion. With lives that should have made us cruel, bitter, twisted old men, Harry's presence, with his unending capacity for love and forgiveness, melted the chunks of ice that our hearts had become. You and I are closer now than we've ever been. We owe that all to Harry."
"Harry and his penchant for attracting evil…"Severus muttered.
Sirius snorted. "I think that's a genetic trait. We all seem to do that."
A/n: Hope you all enjoyed this chapter…new chapter(s) shall be forthcoming! Thanks for staying with this story, and thanks for the (not so) subtle encouragement to continue it!