Chapter 5 in which the author apologizes profusely and tries to remedy with multiple barrel rolls and a flying handstand.

Disclaimer I've forgotten on all other chapters: I really don't own Hetalia. I mean, if I did, I wouldn't be here, would I?

"Kesesesesesesese…" A dark shape looming over Matthew muttered.

After being brutally knocked out of the road, a body had slammed against him. Matthew had been knocked out for more than a few seconds, he was sure. He was also pretty sure he had landed on his glasses.

The weight was lifted as he heard a German accent yell, "HEY! Bastard, we're WALKING HERE."

"Waddahell?" Matthew slurred. He rubbed his head and sat up.

"Bastard almost ran us over," Gilbert said, helping Matthew to his feet. He pointed out a car that had crashed into a tree. Through the slight fog he saw without his glasses on, he could make out a shape, leaning against the wheel.

"Uuummm, my glasses?" Matthew asked hopefully.

"This them?" Gilbert clumsily placed a pair on Matthews face.

"Uuh, yeah." They were fine luckily. "Shouldn't we help that guy? See if he's dead or something?"

"Nah, he tried to kill us by running us over and stuff," Gilbert brushed his suggestion off and began walking back up the street towards Arthur's house.

"But he could be DEAD."

"So? We could be DEAD."

Matthew gestured uselessly to the car and sighed.

"Fine."

Ad they walked back down the road.

From behind, they heard a shout.

"Oh my GOD. Are you serious? Did you HONESTLY drive while high AGAIN?" The girlish shriek came from behind them. Matthew turned his head to look over his shoulder to see a blonde woman yelling at the car. The man who was behind the wheel previously was lazily crawling through the window.

"Well, he's not dead." Matthew began.

"Damnit! You don't almost kill awesome me and expect to live!" Gilbert looked so pissed out of his mind, Matthew had to continue shuffling him forward in order to keep him from walking over and snapping the other mans neck with his bare hands.

"So, why are you out here anyways?" Matthew said idly, hoping to lead the conversation elsewhere while he steered them both back to Arthur's.

"I was following you." Gilbert pointed out bluntly.

Ignoring the simplicity of Gilbert's creepy-ish statement, Matthew continued on, "I thought you guys weren't coming until Thursday because of some shit or something?"

"I'm hiding in Arthur's basement 'cos West kicked me outta his." Gilbert shrugged, as if it were an everyday occurrence. Matthew didn't think twice that it could have been.

"… how did you get in?"

"Through a couple of windows," Gilbert shrugged again. "Almost got shot in the ass a few times, no big deal."

Matthew looked at the silveret walking beside him who had gone off rambling about how he was so awesome and other such things. He was kind of reminded of Alfred and Stephen. In a weird way.

"So then I said, hey El'za, how come you and Rodney don't ever come visit? Not that I care about Roddy, piano-playing-wuss. And then she said 'Oh Gil, you're so handsome! Make love to me!' so I was like 'No problem baby!' and then we…" Matthew stopped listening to Gilbert, throwing in the occasional nod or agreement.

"So I was like OH MATTHEW YOU'RE SUCH A MANWHORE." Gilbert looked pointedly at Matthew. Matthew kind of looked back at Gilbert, wondering if he had said something important while he spaced out.

He nodded uncertainly.

Gilbert burst into immature giggles, patting Matthew on the head.

"Hey, stop that." Matthew said, swatting Gilberts hand away. "What?"

"Nothing. So after El'za left, she…" Gilbert went back to rambling about some girl name Lizzie or something.

Eventually they came to Arthur's and Gilbert gave Matthew a quick, mock salute and dashed off into the bushes. Everything was so weird here, from the people to their actions and back again.

Matthew sighed and walked up the front steps and into the house.

Once inside the doors, Alfred barreled into him. He grinned. Of course. One idiot to the next.

"Matthew, we're having dinner!" Alfred giggled- yes, giggled, and pulled at Matthew to follow him. Obviously drugs of some kind, Matthew thought, but there seemed to be no good drug spots here. Strange.

There really wasn't anything here to get this excited about, especially not dinner.

Matthew took a minute to stare at Alfred in shock, wondering where the hell his pissy mood from before had gone. He wasn't able to perpend either mystery for long, as Alfred's excited mood got to him. As it normally did.

"Are we seriously going to all attend dinner together tonight?" He asked in disbelief.

"Hell yes! But those commie bastards are gonna be there. And that kid Peter." Alfred said, brow furrowed.

"Commie… Bastards? What?"

"They're Russian! They're obviously spies and want to infiltrate the wardrobe and spread communism!"

"Yeah… Uh-huh.. No. What kind of proof do you have?" Matthew asked skeptically.

"Welllll, uhhhmmm…" Alfred thought for a minute, pulling an exaggerated thinking face.

"Besides, Russia isn't even a communist country anymore! And two of them aren't even Russian! Where are these ideas coming from, you seriously have no idea what you're talking about, do you?" Matthew argued.

"Well, Ivan carries around a pipe. I saw it! It had blood on it!"

"Mmmhmm, I'm sure it does." Matthew teased.

"WILL YOU TWO STOP SPEAKING SO INCRDIBLY LOUD!" Arthur called from a room over. "I CAN HEAR YOU THROUGH THE WALLS."

"MAYBE WE DON'T WANNA." Alfred yelled back.

"ALFRED, JUST GO BE A UNICORN SOMEWHERE OR SOMETHING. AND DON'T BE LATE FOR DINNER OR I'LL CURSE YOUR ASS SO BADLlyyyy…" With that, Arthur trailed off, obviously moving away from the wall to find something, probably his 'spell' book.

"C'mon, we're gonna be late." Matthew urged Alfred, who was still pouting at the wall.

"Well, maybe I don't wanna go." Alfred said loftily, standing up straightly, chest puffed out, proclaiming his distaste of dinner activities.

"What are you, seven? Hurry up!" Matthew said before adding "Or Ivan might eat you!"

He pretended not to notice the flash of panic that flew across his brother's face before he raced down the hallway, rambling on with something about hamburgers and the like.

Dinner was definitely going to be a long affair.

OH GOD IM SO SORRY I REALLY AM. REALLY TERRIBLY SORRY. AND SO SHORT Q^Q

So I opened up a poll on my profile for the pairing of this fiction. Because I really didn't have one in mind while beginning this. Which was a mistake. I don't care if you never read this ever again GO VOTE GO GO GO GO. NOW.

Please, please, please go vote. Most of them are quite silly, but I'll write them all, really. I really will. Also, its multi, because I don't know how many people will actually vote at all. So more votes, yes?

Review if you want any more side pairings! I don't care what you say, I don't really care about the pairing, even if it isn't canon AT ALL, it helps me go. I also want to figure out my audience.

/cue nonimportant stuff

The first few chapters included more angst (or at least my 'attempt' at it) than I'd like to admit. From here on out, it will be much more humourous. Because I prefer it more.

As always, thank you for reading and reviews are like rainbows and kittens and pudding for lunch!

EDIT2; OH HELLZ YEAH (i think) I FIXED IT