Disclaimer: Don't own anything except original characters. All material (c) to respective owners. I write these for fun and make no profit. They're just random plot bunnies that live within my strange mind. A/U Story

Title from a song by Midnight Panic

Chapter 4: Bring Me Back to Life

"Ye be to good for yer own good lass." She smiled at Gibbs, she had missed his theories on women being bad luck and his superstitions.

"He's suffered enough for now Gibbs, I just wish I could forgive him and I know it would help but I don't think I can make him forgive himself. There is still a world of tension and life between us, I don't even know if someday will ever come." She left him there watching her, clearly he was lost in thought judging by the silence she was answered with.

A Week on the Ocean

Jack and Maddison got along fine, still maintaining the distance and her friendship that Elizabeth insisted on became better. She didn't much trust her knowing her capabilities but she found that the girl was warm and Will was equally fun to be around. Things were back to what she remembered, working hard and enjoying late night conversations with her small group of friends.

It remained steady like that for most of the week, the last night before they were to reach the port Jack had been aiming for he had asked her to come to his cabin later that night. She didn't doubt his motives, there was an all too familiar air about him but she wouldn't give in and she knew he knew that.

She didn't knock just walked inside at the appointed time and saw he was leaning against his desk reading something in one of his various books. He spared her a brief glance before returning to the shelf it came from and returning it. One thing she knew was even if he seemed lost in chaos; he knew where almost everything important was in his cabin. He turned back to his desk lifting a few odd papers before sighing fingers going softly to the bridge of his nose.

Maddison knew that was a sign he was frustrated and lost in what he was doing. "Can I do anything Jack?" her voice was soft enough to make him glance back toward her.

"Not really love." He continued to shuffle papers before turning to one of the trunks beside his desk and reaching in pulling out tied papers. "I just need to sort my mess out and then I will be fine…hang on, why are ye here so early?" she shook her head pointing out his window, the sky starting to purple and the stars beginning to show. "Oh." He muttered softly waving his hand around before again leaning against his desk.

"I've never seen you like this Jack, what's going on?"

"More than I want to deal or work with. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore, Maddison I think just maybe I've lost my touch with everything that's happened." He wasn't Captain Jack Sparrow at that moment; he was a man desperate to have a sound mind returned, or at least as sound as it was before his hell.

"No you haven't Jack, you're still the savvy annoying pirate I met," she saw the brief smirk there, it was half hearted. "You just found something you swore off and now a word you hate is infecting your life. 'Guilt' isn't pretty on you my friend, I also wouldn't wish it on you and would like for you to stop." He turned that dark gaze on her, uncertainty and irritation reflected there. "I know my way to the brig, but do you think you can manage it?"

For some reason her challenge only aggravated him, he couldn't find the strength to put her where he wanted to. She knew what was wrong, he preferred denial and ignorance was bliss in his opinion. He reached in his pocket for his keys, but for some reason didn't move. He just eyed them dark thought racing through his mind and voices again raging.

"I was always too blunt for your liking Jack. I think that's why you put up with me for so long and still on occasion curse the day you found me." He glared at her the anger still there. "Perhaps you would have been happier if you left me?"

That did it, she pushed too far he grit his teeth body tense with his resentment. "I wish I did, but for some blood reason I couldn't and I won't say why. You know better Maddison." She smiled at that, it wasn't kind so much as it was the first time it seemed cruel and yet amused.

"You couldn't because I am different when it comes to that you can't deny anything. Now you're living in denial." That did it, he managed to contain his temper and walked over grabbing her arm, he left the cabin and proceeded to walk her to the brig.

Elizabeth and Anna-Maria were talking that evening and both turned to the pair walking below. Anna-Maria stopped Elizabeth from going to argue on Maddison's behalf, grasping her arm and shaking her head. Unwilling to give in she tried to pull free, but again the stronger of the two proved to be Anna-Maria.

"Liz don't do it that girl is doing that for a reason."

"Why would Maddison voluntarily get herself locked in the…brig?" her honey gaze scanned Anna-Maria for an answer before her eyes widened. "Oh."

"That girl be smart and knew that Jack was warming up to her again, she wants distance because she knows he will leave her behind again. He may have changed but is still stubborn on some factors, that being the one she won't let him past. He has to admit something to her or there will continue to be these many issues." Elizabeth nodded before her gaze turned to where the pair had vanished.

Jack opened the door muttering about how he felt on Maddison's new personality development before shutting it behind her and returning his keys to his pockets. His dark eyes met the blue ones watching him, he could see the knowing in her gaze and knew exactly what she was doing.

"Why do you have to do this Maddison?"

"Because you will never admit to anything but your own selfishness and I won't quite without a fight."

Sighing he leaned his head forward against the bars staring down at the floor of the ship before closing his eyes. She would always know whether he wanted to admit it or not, he would too. The girl before him was worse than the sea he loved, she was even more cruel in her own ways. He felt fingers gently touch his tanned cheek, slowly tracing a line along his cheek bone.

"Denial may be your greatest asset Jack, but sometimes even that causes pain." Glancing up he scowled darkly eyes hardened like a pearl themselves.

"Your greatest asset love is the fact you know too bloody much." He turned to stalk away, leaving her there to rot for all he cared at present.

Four hours after Jack had stormed off she was aware of cautious movement and glanced up. She smiled softly seeing Will had snuck down to investigate her dilemma. She had a feeling her two female friends on the ship was behind his attempt at playing a pirate which he had clearly grown very good at.

"Hi Will."

"Do you want out of here yet Maddison?" she shook her head a slow smile crossing her lips. "Why not?"

"Because Jack isn't mad enough to forget his libido." Will started to say something before he seemed suddenly traumatized. "Sorry for the bluntness, you had to inquire far too much." She smirked seeing him redden at her indication before both glanced up at the sound of someone coming their direction.

"Uh oh." Will did a quick vanishing act deep in the room and watched Jack slowly enter the room.

Jack watched Maddison for some indication that she wanted out, he knew that he had other motives but also knew very well she wouldn't budge on her convictions. Regardless of her nature she was determined and he knew he couldn't get her to let him near her again, he would have to allow himself ideas and things he never let in.

"I'm not coming to your cabin Jack. Like I said I can give peace but forgiveness will have to come another time." He leaned against the bars again his eyes searching hers for something he hoped he wouldn't find, he found it and he could see that distance and abandoning her did nothing to make them disappear.

"You make life difficult Maddie," she smiled softly at his frustrated tone, he knew her far too well. "I'm asking you to let me free you from the brig, you know what I mean." She again found her fingers against his face, the familiarity making things much more difficult for her.

"I do know what you mean and that is exactly why I'm here. You're the reason I hurt and the reason I came back. I hate you as much as I like you, that is a bad combo." She saw his jaw clench could feel the muscles flex under her fingers.

"I won't admit to anything love, I'm selfish." She stepped back from the bars her eyes scanning him from her new point of view.

"Like I said you use many ways to hide Jack, that is just one of them."

He allowed a deep sigh before glaring and turning away, he stormed off leaving her there again and she knew her words made sure to put him in a fowl mood. She felt her mood go from mildly happy to frustrated, he again left her angry that she couldn't get through those walls and knew deep down she probably wouldn't get through him.

She saw Will hesitantly step from the shadows eyes full of questions and knowing there would be no answers. She felt a little bit bad for the fact that she wouldn't be able to ease the uncertainty in Will's mind, she had no reason to do so and yet felt a bit of an obligation toward him because he wasn't like Elizabeth. Will did have something and it was a kindness that would probably do more damage than good out in the pirate world that they survived in.

"I can tell you something but you can't allow your wife to know Will. Letting you in could very well put you in the middle of this and I'm not sure you want her to have more reasons to despise Jack." He watched her scanning her eyes slowly for some sign she was being truthful.

Clearly she wasn't lying but did he want to get into the middle of this was his concern. This was a side of Jack he had never seen, he hadn't known him long but he knew this was different and he was sure that whatever Maddison was offering him knowledge wise it could be hazardous to his health.

"I won't tell Elizabeth." He decided that he could handle things if it got to a point that he didn't know what he should do.

Maddison waited long enough to read into those dark eyes, strands of hairs briefly moving into his vision before she nodded. "Jack left me behind not to just protect me, I told him that I cared and used a word that is much like a plague to him. He shut off his emotions years ago, I think that is why he defines himself as selfish." He slowly contemplated her words.

Will seemed lost momentarily before he finally got the idea of what she was saying in so many words. "You told Jack you loved him and knew it wasn't in your favor." She nodded seeing him tilt his head thoughtfully. "He is a good man regardless of what he thinks, selfish is the way he hides and that was what you were telling him." She nodded again. "Does he care Maddison?"

"I wish he did." She lowered her eyes in thought before meeting his. "I hope he does somewhere but I'm pretty sure there's a wall there that I will never break through. Selfish is his way and that is what he will be. He doesn't mean to be that way, it's just how he's made." He didn't seem to be please by her defense of Jack's lack of empathy.

"I agree with Gibbs, you're too forgiving especially when it comes to Jack."

"I know that." He with a great deal of discomfort left her to her suffering in the brig, there was nothing he could really do and she wouldn't let him try.

Jack spent hours going over his conversations with Maddison and the past, his now present again. She would never change, she would always be there regardless whether he would let her be or not. She was like the black spot he once had, she wouldn't come off. Closing his eyes briefly he again focused on his ship. The wheel in his rough hands and his freedom within his grasp, it had been a challenge but he did regain control of it from Barbossa and the man was now suffering in Shipwreck Cove for his trouble.

He smirked at that before glancing up at the sound of light steps off to his right. Will stood there eyeing Jack with an eerie sort of knowing, feeling uncomfortable he stared straight ahead again before Will's presence got to him just enough that he had to turn his attention back on him.

"What is it?"

"Elizabeth isn't please with the fact that Maddison is in the brig." Jack shrugged disinterested in what Elizabeth wanted. "I'm not happy with the fact she won't let me let her out and she was quite clear why." He winced glancing at Will with irritation as well as suspicion. "She advised me against this for my own self preservation, I'm not afraid of your wrath though Jack. I've known you long enough, you're scheming and manipulative but she doesn't fall for it. The truth of it all Jack is fear isn't usually this obvious on you, usually by now you've run for it." He scowled at Will's slightly amused tone, the whelp had not changed in his favor.

"Maddison likes you." Jack silenced after that unsure of how he wanted to address this issue with him.

"Apparently more than Elizabeth from what I can gather." He chuckled at that, clearly he still resented Elizabeth for what she had done. It didn't go unnoticed and Will never blamed him for it. "You're going to keep hiding until you wake up one day a very lonely stupid man and by then it could very well be too late. She won't stay around forever Jack, no one can live with that kind of hurt for that long. She will find someone to treat her right and it will be your own fault."

"William stay out of my business." It was a tone that actually was new to Will, it was a deadly warning and it wasn't in his favor.

"I'm not in yours, I'm trying to comfort a friend who obviously is just as stubborn as you are." He left Jack glaring at him, if it wasn't for the fact they come back for him and he went through hell with them he might have went after him.

As it was Jack's knuckles were white on the wheel and his gaze was smoldering. He relinquished the wheel with more effort than he cared to admit and left Gibbs in charge of the ship, he and a certain woman had a long overdue conversation coming and he wasn't happy the way she went about getting him into it.

She waited knowing Will would most certainly get Jacks attention, she had planned it that way and smiled knowing that he had changed but in favor of her own manipulative ways. She heard him watching the entry way his heavier than usual steps giving him away, she saw him and he was rigid.

Smiling she waited leaning against the bag of the brig and met that dark as night gaze, she could see the clenching of his jaw and knew she got her wish. "Love we need to talk about your loose tongue." She smiled smugly before walking casually to the bars of the brig and meeting his hard look.

"My tongue wasn't loose, I didn't specify anything. Unlike you I give William Turner a great deal of credit, he isn't the stupid whelp you first met Jack. He has a head on his shoulders." He unlocked the door stepping aside indicating it would be wise to follow him.

He wanted her out before he changed his mind. "Will is under the impression that we have feelings." She stepped out her own gaze hard before she shook her head.

"I do, your heart is colder than the ice caps of the north pole." She walked out of the brig area hearing him muttering unpleasantly behind her, it was pretty clear she had gotten under his skin yet again and with Will's help she was free on her own terms.

She was hit with a rush of air before glancing skyward, the moon was out and the stars were bright. She guessed she had been in the brig for about four hours. Slowly she made her way up to the helm of the ship and nodded in greeting to a very amused Will Turner and his curious wife.

She pause hearing Jack abruptly stop talking to himself before she turned, his eyes read loathing and she felt satisfied she had again gotten on his nerves. Elizabeth come up beside her gently her hand touched her shoulder gaining her attention. She examined Maddison closely before she seemed satisfied and went about her work, Anna-Maria offering her an amused sort of smile before too going off on her own.

Will saw Elizabeth was in deep conversation with Anna-Maria before turning to meet Maddison's amused smug look. "You manipulated me into getting him to let you out on your own terms." She nodded seeing he was much sharper than the good captain gave him credit for. "How did he take it?"

"Something like venomous witch, no good rotten pirate wench, among other colorful phrases. It's nothing knew and something I've done many times. Thank you for putting your self preservation on hold for me Will." He smiled leaving her to stand and stare across the ocean.

She was waiting knowing it would be a few minutes before Jack dared to speak with her, she had pissed him off on purpose. It gave her time to plan her next move while he spent a few minutes ranting and fighting with his voices.

"She's gotten better mate."

"She's a venomous, sneaky, wench with a blacker heart than mine."

"You taught her well then, she's no better than you mate."

Shaking his head he hated those voices more than himself at the moment, sometimes he had to wonder if the voices weren't just his so called dead emotions talking him into more madness than he already was capable of.

His dark eyes turned to her, her hair was blowing wild among the cool night air giving her a sort of feral look. She was the cat and at present he was the prey, he hated that more than her unpredictability and the changes she seemed to have had.

She turned her eyes meeting his, she smirked knowing he was still vexed with her capability of having her way. "Should we talk?" she walked slowly to his side noting him relinquish the helm again to Gibbs. "Cabin or out here?"

"Cabin so no one can hear us screaming." He grit out before stepping down the steps leaving her to watch his retreating form.

Gibbs shook her head at the broad smile she offered before she easily followed after Jack.

Once the door to the cabin was shut she was face to face with a steaming mad pirate. Jack's temper was the worst she had ever seen, the knowledge she had not even beginning to scratch his ability to anger and tantrums. She waited wincing slightly when a bottle shattered several inches from her head. He was livid and fairly good at missing when it come to her and women in general.

Regardless of him being a pirate and not always pleasant, he would never raise a hand to a woman and made sure that if anyone did he was there ready to put them in their place. Even though he was Captain Jack Sparrow hated by many of the opposite sex, he had respect and was a good man.

"Why do you have to do it Maddison?" his voice was barely controlled.

"Easy, because you have done worse and I never promised to forgive right away." She leaned against the door of his cabin watching him move his fingers gently against his temples.

All she had to do was reach out and she knew he would let it go, she couldn't do that though. She wasn't going to let things be like they were before the confessions, before the dumping her off and was going to make sure he knew that. He wasn't far away, a gentle tug would put him in her arms and where he clearly was trying to be, only with nothing in return.

No feelings, no truth, just kindly burying his head in the sand like he always had done. "You know it wouldn't kill you to let something in Jack. I know where you stand, but after what you've suffered and been through…would it be so hard to let someone in?" he glared, easily stepping back knowing she was trying to break through that part of him he sealed off.

"Yes it would." He turned away walking over to his desk and trying with all his strength to ignore her.

It was her turn to feel a familiar rage, she walked up behind him and did what she often did when he would tick her off. She slapped him across the back, he winced with the familiarity of it before sighing and glancing over his shoulder with a curious look before smirking at the fury there.

"If you don't want anything to change, why did you come back for me?"

That made him feel rather unpleasant, she wouldn't drop that and he knew eventually it would come up and he would be forced to answer the questions. She didn't move watching him slowly turn to face her, he sat on the desk and watched her.