Carly's grandfather had come for a visit and he was so nice to Carly. I looked at Freddie, "How come my grandfather just sleeps and burps?"
"Because he's related to you."
I glared at him and stuff popcorn up his nose.
Carly walked over and introduced Freddie and me. "And I think you met Sam last time you were here."
I looked up at her grandfather. "Yes, she borrowed ten dollars from me then ate my sandwich."
I held my popcorn bowl and knew he was right. I guess I did do that. "Nice to see you again," I said. I waved my hand to say hi…sort of. Then her grandfather gave her a gift. I looked at Freddie and threw a piece of popcorn at him. He turned and glared at me and I just smiled. Then I jumped up by Carly's shoulder. "How much?" I asked wondering about the Groovy Smoothies Gift card.
He laughed and said, "Thrirty bucks."
"Good man," I said pointing at him. "Let's go spend that bad boy!"
"I can't now! My Granddad just got here," Carly told me.
"Aw. Go have fun! I'll be in town for a few days," he told her.
Freddie and I got up and were reading to go to Groovy Smoothies. "Ok!" Carly said.
"Smoothies!" I cheered.
"Yeah," I heard Freddie say.
"Bring me back a blueberry blitz!" Spencer asked.
"Sure! Be back whenever!" Carly answered him and then we were out the door and going to Groovy Smoothies.
We headed off and got our smoothies and sat down at our regular table and just chatted.
We were up in the studio and Freddie was sitting on a bing bang with his laptop. I was standing with his equipment junk. Carly was pacing back and forth. "Will you chill?" I finally asked her.
"I'll chill after granddad's convinced that Spencer is a responsible adult," she answered.
"Yeah, good luck with that!" I told her.
"Hey! Would you keep your hands off of my equipment over there?" Freddie asked me angrily.
"I could…..But I don't think I will!" I answered. I started pressing random buttons just to annoy him. Freddie got up and walked over to me with an angry face. Freddie grabbed my shoulder and shoved me away from his equipment. I shoved him back and twisted his wrist. I could have broken it, but I didn't feel like it. Freddie glared at me and walked back over to stand next to Carly and I stood behind his junk.
I looked over at the elevator and saw Spencer in a way too small suit. "I'm wearing my suit," Spencer said.
"Nice," Freddie said.
"Isn't it kind of small on you?" Carly asked. Well duh! It looks like it's trying to shrink Spencer!
"Well, yeah, because I've only worn it once in the tenth grade for a school play," he answered.
"What role did you play?" I asked.
"Man in suit."
"Ah."
"I hate it!" Spencer said angrily.
"You're not supposed to like it. It's supposed to help Granddad see you as a mature adult." Carly told him.
"Okay! But can we have ice-cream after he's gone?" Spencer asked like he was a really little kid.
Then the doorbell rang and Carly turned. "Doorbell," She said.
"Smells like your granddad," Freddie told her as she walked to get the door.
"You smell like garbage," I told Freddie.
"You're butts shaped like a ham." Wait! He was looking at my butt? Why was he looking at my butt? Fredward Benson was looking at my butt! And he thought my butt was shaped like a ham? Creepy.
So I just walked up to him and made it look like I was going to murder him! "Hey! No fighting tonight!" Carly told us. She pointed at Spencer. "You figure out how to tie your tie and I'll go downstairs and stall Granddad." She turned around and left. Freddie started to follow and I followed him. He tried to slam the door in my face but I wasn't going to let that stop me. He started running away and I just grabbed the door and slowly slammed it shut as he ran off like a scared little boy.
We ran down the stairs and Freddie asked, "What do you want us to do?"
"Get out," Carly answered.
"Right!" Freddie and I ran to the front door.
"Wait! The back way," Carly told us.
We turned around and ran to the back door. I stopped and grabbed the food sitting on the island in the kitchen then ran out the door with Freddie. I set the food down where no one would find it and then ran after Freddie.
He was running in the lobby downstairs but I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back. "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY BUTT?" I asked. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and stared at him.
"I…I…I never…I mean.."
I smacked him across the face and he fell to the ground. I bent down and looked at him, "STOP STARING AT MY BUTT!" I kicked him in the side and he groaned loudly. I stomped back up the stairs and grabbed the food and left the building and went home.
I sat down on my bed and looked at the ceiling. So, Fredwierd had been staring at my butt. Why? How? When? Why? And Why?
The next day at school Carly told me the news. She was moving with her granddad. "I can't believe you moving," I said.
"Well believe it because it's happening," she said. She turned back to her locker and grabbed more stuff and put it in the box Freddie was carrying.
"You know, I ought to go tell your grandfather a thing or two," Freddie said angrily. Humph. Kind of angrily. He didn't sound angry but he tried.
"If only you knew a thing or two," I replied to him.
"I'm moving to Yakama. I'm going to be a yakamite or a yakamanishian."
"Yakamaniac," Freddie said.
I looked at him. "You're a yakamannoying." Freddie frowned and I turned back to Carly. "So, what about our show?"
"I don't see how we're going to do iCarly anymore," Carly answered. I sighed and turned to close my locker door. "This whole thing is so lame! So Spencer's a little unusual, big deal. It doesn't mean he can't take care of me."
"Hey!" I said, walking back to her. "What if we come up with a way for him to see Spencer's a good guardian?"
"Yeah," Carly said.
"How?" Freddie asked.
"I could pretend to do something really terrible!"
"Right! Something that will get Spencer really upset with you," Freddie said excitedly.
"Yeah, and he'll freak out and yell at me right in front of Granddad!"
"Which will make him realize that Spencer is a responsible authority figure!" I said hoping this plan would work!
"Yeah, I love it," Carly said.
"So what bad thing are you going to do?" Freddie asked her.
"I don't know. Let's think of something."
I smiled. "I enjoy this assignment." I saw Freddie turn and smile at me. He was still holding Carly's box of junk from her locker. We all smiled and walked off to our classes.
I was at home when I got a text from Carly telling me that there was a fire at her apartment. So I told my mom to drive me there. I got in and she honked her horn at me, "Just wait in the car, mom!" I yelled at her. I turned around and looked at goth Carly, "Hey, you texted me and I heard you guys had a fire!" I looked at the way she was dressed. "Nice rods and rings."
"If you like them, take them. I've already told Granddad and Spencer they were fakes." Carly handed them to me and I looked at her.
"Why?"
"Because Spencer thought I looked good and then his chicken burst into flames and now I'm moving to Yakama." She turned around and I knew she was sad. I was sad. I was losing my best friend!
I sighed and walked over to where Mrs. Benson, Freddie, and Spencer were talking. "I had to stop right in the middle of rubbing anti-tick lotion on Freddie," Mrs. Benson said. I looked at Freddie and he looked back and I could tell he was embarrassed. He hadn't seemed that embarrassed before but now I could tell he was about to blush.
"Mom, I don't have ticks," I noticed his eyes kept straying over in my direction.
"They hide in your leg hair," his mom said.
"I don't have leg hair!" Freddie growled.
"Which worries me deeply!" Mrs. Benson said.
Wow. So Freddie didn't have leg hair and his mom put anti-tick lotion on him. Ha! So funny. I was smiling so hard and tried not to laugh right then.
"Sorry, I was cooking dinner and it caught on fire," Spencer said.
"Well you're lucky no one got hurt," Mrs. Benson replied to him.
As soon as Spencer and Mrs. Benson left, I looked at Freddie. "Anti-tick lotion?"
"It's precautionary!"
I smiled and let a giggle come out of my mouth.
Carly was leaving today. She and her granddad were talking. Carly walked over to me and Freddie. We were sharing our last goodbyes. Freddie got up from his seat and walked over to Carly. "So, this is it?"
"This is it," she answered. Freddie wrapped his arms around her and she hugged him back. I felt something go right through me. I looked them up and down. His arms were wrapped tightly around her and she was kind of wrapped tightly around him. Of course Freddie would hug her. What would he do if I was leaving? Probably say good riddance and leave me alone! I sighed. I was actually feeling kind of sadder than I already was.
"Be strong, Freddie," Freddie said to himself. I frowned. He wouldn't hug me or say something like that if I did leave. He probably wouldn't care. His life would be better without me. No more bullying.
Then they finally broke apart. "So…Who's going to take the blame when I put live lobsters in the trunk of Ms. Brigg's car?" I asked.
"Will you at least try and stay out of trouble?" Carly asked me.
I shook my head and said, "No." A smile crept on my lips, but disappeared as fast as it came. Carly leaned in and we gave each other a big hug. I was going to miss my best friend. She was like my sister…Screw that, my sister was horrible. Carly was like my little sister. I hugged her tighter then we let go.
"Okay, well I guess this is-" Carly started.
"NOOO!" Freddie screamed. He jumped on the floor and wrapped his arms around Carly's legs and held on.
"Freddie, let go of my legs," Carly said.
"I got it," I told her. I bent down and grabbed Freddie by the waist and pulled him away.
"I'm sorry," he said. "Lost my cool for a sec there."
"Can't lose what you never had," I told him. He elbowed me in the chest and I glared at him. I knew it, he wouldn't care if I left. I glared even more at him.
Carly talked to her Granddad and then turned toward us. "Will you guys come down to the lobby with me?"
"Sure," we answered. We helped get her suitcases and we got in the elevator. I wrapped my arms around my chest. Carly was leaving me and now I probably wouldn't have any friends because Freddie would be too sad over Carly and would hang out with nerds and losers. I sighed.
We were in the lobby and Lewbert was freaking out because we were walking on the floor(duh). Suddenly, Spencer was running down the stairs. He gave Carly her asthma inhaler even though she doesn't need it anymore. Carly and Spencer hugged each other.
"Nah…I'm not going to need this," Carly's granddad said.
"Look-"
"I'm not going to need this because I want Carly to stay here with you."
"Are you serious?" I, Carly, and Freddie all said at the same time.
Freddie freaked and started thanking him. He grabbed Carly's Grandfather's legs and kept thanking him. Of course.
Carly's Granddad told Spencer that he'd be checking in every now and then because he still thinks Spencer is a nut bar. Spencer smiled and then said, "Why? Because I do this?" He lifted up his shirt and started rubbing his belly and making weird Spencer noises.
"Don't do that!" Carly's Granddad said smacking Spencer with a newspaper. "You do it like this." He lifted his shirt up and started rubbing his stomach. Creepy! Then Spencer joined in.
Carly looked around and then at them, "You guys are so embarrassing!" They both stopped and looked at her(and pulled their shirts down). "If you're gonna do it, do it right!" She walked over and started rubbing her lower stomach and making weird Spencer noises. Then all three of them joined in. CREEPY!
Freddie and I looked at each other. We shrugged and started doing the same thing as the others.