Take Action or I will!

Part 9

By Kalnaman and Malinga

As/N: Thank you for your reviews and to VirginSerpent for beta.

Warnings: Spanking and suicidal thoughts and later chapters a very depressed Spencer, who will need help with everything for a while, but don't worry this is NOT a deathfic.

Spencer gave Hotch a death glare. "For you - probably not. But for me it was and it's going to get even harder, I'm afraid." And with that he went into the car, which Gideon to Spencer's annoyance had opened for him. And he was even more annoyed when Gideon gave him a hard swat while he went inside. "That was for being rude at the office."
Hotch, also to Spencer's frustration, leaned in and proceeded to buckle him in.
"I'm not a toddler! I can buckle myself in!" Spencer said, not so politely.
Hotch shot him a stern glare, "watch the tone, young man."
Spencer just pouted. He felt uncomfortable, first of all because of the spanking he'd received this morning and also because of the fact that he had to do number two badly. But he didn't want to do it while Hotch or Gideon played watchdog over him.
And of course the hard swat he's just received from Gideon didn't make it better either.
He knew there would be consequences for him if he kept holding it, but he hoped that he'd soon succeed in letting the others believe he was well enough to at least go to the bathroom on his own.
Hotch opened the driver's side door, got behind the wheel and turned on the engine. Peering through the rear view mirror he got a glimpse of Spencer's angry pout, and shook his head. It seemed this was going to be one of those days. He sighed, revving the engine and driving away.
When Spencer noticed that Hotch was watching him through the rearview mirror he stuck out his tongue at him.
Hotch's eyebrows raised up high in shocked surprise and he shot Spencer a fleeting stern glare, before returning his gaze back on the road. "Making rude gestures will only get you into trouble, young man." He chided in a deceivingly soft voice. "And I will not hesitate to pull over and deal with you right here, right now, if that's what you want." He glanced quickly at him, showing him with the swift, angry glance that he meant business. "Is that what you want, Spencer?"
Spencer gulped. Did he really mean business? His angry glance really looked that way... but nah, he wouldn't dare to do it in public, Spencer thought. He then struck out his tongue at him again.
Hotch frowned, he knew what Spencer was doing; having a kid of his own, he was well-versed in all the tactics children used in order to test their boundaries. And Spencer seemed to be doing that exact same thing, pushing his limits until he found the consequences. Very well, he would not disappoint him.
"That's it." He veered the car, gradually slowing down and pulling over to one side of the road. He opened his door and strode out of the car, opening the door to Spencer's side of the car in the backseat and reaching in to unbuckle him from his seat.
Spencer gulped. He hadn't believed he really meant business. Gideon just stayed in his seat and watched the interaction.
He briskly pulled him out by the arm, and propping one leg over the bumper, he pushed Spencer over his leg and started delivering a series of quick, hard swats to the seat of his pants.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please stop!"
"You say you don't want to be treated like a child, yet you behave like one." He lectured in between smacks, "there is certain behavior I won't tolerate, and you'd better start understanding that right now. Unless you want to find yourself in this same position again and again, I strongly suggest you revise your attitude, young man." He continued, while delivering smack after smack.
Spencer started to cry whole heartedly. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I won't do it again, I promise!"
Hotch placed five more smarting swats to Spencer's bottom for good measure before stopping and pulling the crying young man back to his feet and into a strong embrace.
Spencer wrapped his arms tightly around Hotch's neck.
He gently rubbed his back and pressed his wet face into the crook of his shoulder. "Shhh... shh... it's okay, kid."
He gently rocked him in his arms while whispering soft words of comfort, hoping against hope that Spencer had gotten the message this time.
Spencer sniffed. "I'm sorry." He mumbled.
Hotch pulled back gently, one hand still holding onto Spencer's shoulder while the other reached out under Spencer's chin to make sure he was looking at him.
Spencer tried to avoid looking Hotch in the eye.
"Look at me, Spencer." Hotch prompted sternly.
Spencer just sniffed.
"Come on, kid. Look at me." Hotch repeated in that same gentle, yet strict tone of voice.
And then Spencer reluctantly did as he was asked to.
He looked shyly into Hotch's eyes.
Only then, when he knew he had the young man's full attention, did he start speaking. "Understand this, Spencer. You are very much like family to me; what I feel for you is very much like what I feel for my own son, Jack, and there are certain things I don't even allow Jack to do, simply because I love him, just as I love you, kid." He said in a husky voice tinged with deep emotion, unshed tears shining in his eyes.
"But how can you? I'm not loveable. My own mom doesn't even love me, so how can you?" Spencer sniffed.
Hotch frowned hearing this, trying not to show how deeply those words troubled and shocked him at the same time. 'How could Spencer think so little of himself that he believed he couldn't be loved?' That was one of the thoughts raging in his mind at the moment. He just needed to make him understand that he was very wrong in his conception of his role in their lives.
Spencer then looked away from him again.
"You all would be better off if I was dead." Spencer sniffed.
Hotch's eyes widened in horror and shock at Spencer's admission, feeling both rage and fear build up within him and responded the only way he knew how, "That's NOT true, Spencer Reid!" he barked with serious, stern determination.
"Look at me, Spencer Reid!" he commanded.
"Maybe you should give me a knife, and then you'd be rid of me for good and I wouldn't be a burden to you."
He still kept his eyes away from him.
"Now that's ENOUGH!" He snapped in a severe, authoritative voice. "That's ENOUGH of that non-sense, young man! You're NOT, and will NEVER, be a burden." He drilled into Spencer with his hard stare, trying to will him to look back up at him.
Hotch scrutinized the younger man's face, taking in the sad, hopeless glint in his eyes. It scaring him more than he wanted to admit, and he started wondering whether Spencer could really afford to do without the antidepressants. From what he could see at the moment, the kid really needed the extra help the medication could provide.
He would have to talk with Gideon and Dr. Nimoy about this. He was sure Spencer wouldn't like it, but he believed it was what was best for him at the moment.
But right now, he needed to get Spencer's attention, to get him to understand that what he was saying was non-sense in its purest sense.
"Spencer, look at me, please." He pleaded now, desperation coloring his voice
Gideon was starting to get worried. He could see the interaction between them had turned really tense.
Spencer reluctantly looked Hotch in the eye again.
Gideon went out of the car to join them.
Hotch pinned him with his sharp, blue eyes again. "Kid, don't you realize what a wonderful young man you are? How much we all care for you?"
"Do you think we would be going through all this trouble to help you if we didn't love you, son?" Hotch added.
Spencer shook his head as much as he was able to, as Hotch was still holding his head firmly.
"Well, you better start setting the brakes on that wild, genius mind of yours and start opening your eyes to see what is clearly in front of you." Hotch smiled a warm watery smile and brought Spencer into a fierce hug.
Gideon joined the hug from behind Spencer, not caring about the audience strangers gave them.
"We DO love you, son." Hotch rasped out, "and it would tear us all apart if we lost you. Please remember that when you go on thinking like that again." Hotch tightened his hold on him, "think of the heart broken family you'd be leaving behind, and how lost we'd be without you."
Unknown to him, a tear trailed down Hotch's face, then another followed and before long, silent tears were streaming down the older man's face and onto Spencer's neck.
Spencer nodded while sniffing and then he yawn loudly. He was so exhausted.
Spencer was confused. Was it raining? The sky was blue a minute ago.
Hotch took in a quivering, deep breath and glanced at Gideon over Spencer's shoulder; a grim, sad expression on his face.
He was surprised to see that it was Hotch crying.
Gideon gave him a sad face too. "We better go back to your place Aaron. I think someone desperately needs a nap."
Spencer was too exhausted to argue.
Hotch nodded his head, mutely and pulled back from the intense hug, but still held on to Spencer's shoulder with one arm as he guided him back to their parked car right next to them.
He opened the door for him and smiled encouragingly at the young genius.
Spencer rubbed his sleepy eyes and let Hotch guide him inside the car.
Once Spencer was inside, Hotch made sure to buckle him up safely before walking around to the driver's door and going inside behind the wheel himself.
Gideon went to the passenger seat.
He sighed deeply in exhaustion himself, and rested his hands on the wheel and closed his eyes for a moment to try and get himself back together before driving off again.
Gideon laid a friendly hand on Hotch shoulder for a few seconds, to let him know he wasn't alone anymore in helping Spencer.
Hotch turned to look at his old friend, he smiled wanly and nodded his head, letting him know he understood and appreciated it.
Spencer dozed off on their way to Hotch's place.
Hotch could see Spencer had fallen asleep in the backseat, so he tried to drive as quietly as possible, trying to avoid every bump and hole along the road.
Finally back at Hotch's house Gideon went to Spencer and gently got him out of the car and carried him into the house.
Hotch looked at Jason's trailing back as he carried Spencer to his room and pinched the bridge of his nose tiredly as an intense headache started to build up. It had been a very taxing, eventful morning.
He locked the door behind him and plopped down on the couch, resting his head back on the head rest and dozing off himself.
Gideon carried Spencer to the guestroom and tucked him in. When Spencer winced in his sleep as he was lying on his back, he turned Spencer so he was lying on his stomach. He then went to join Hotch on the couch.

TBC