CHAPTER 6

Whatever – Oasis

The next few months after 'the voice' returned were the most chaotic. She thought nothing would ever rival those early days after she first phased. But she was wrong.

It was the little things at first. Like how all of a sudden, she could remember things more. Clearer, better. She would take language lessons and pick up swathes of phrases. She really resented this because she wanted her studies and her accomplishments to be the product of her hard work. But the voice was silent, neither confirming nor denying its part in this. It was selective when it would impart knowledge and communicate, Leah would learn.

It was around this time that she really developed a kind of dual identity.

Maybe she went insane. Believable, since it's now a habit to talk to the disembodied voice or ask it questions. Then again, who can stay sane in her situation? The irony of leaving home to save her sanity, only to find madness.

Maybe it was a kind of survival defense mechanism.

Or maybe because in the end, she had a lot of issues that she wanted to suppress. But it wasn't like she had a therapist to talk to about all these supernatural stuff.

In other words, she was a high-functioning emotional mess.

There was Leah Clearwater, rising star in the art world, notoriously private, blending her art with activism. A model student who got the good grades, who got teased by classmates and professors how she was a 'lifer' studying major after major, degree after degree.

Then there was Leah. She-wolf. Lone wolf. Running wild. Untamed. Enraged. Some nights she would go hunting. Not for animals, the poor things treated like unfeeling objects, their lives taken for entertainment and sport. Oh, no. Those were not challenging enough.

She hunted vampires in the city. She would put on a gaiter mask and a hood like some dumb comic book vigilante. Ridiculous, she first thought, but also necessary if she wanted to keep her other life intact.

She was getting stronger, too. Faster. She took out a vampire once without phasing. She would do it again. And again. And again. And again.

She could bring her claws out easily now.

"The Cullens said it was safe to hunt here!," one vampire had told her. She took extra satisfaction tearing him apart.

She began training herself. Her senses. The City offered endless opportunities. The urban smells blending together created an overwhelming aroma. She would sharpen her sense of smell by separating the cigarette smoke, the sweat, urine, excrement, animals, exhaust, asphalt, until she can track an individual's scent. She practiced on various people from the university.

Her hearing was honed in much the same way, tracing a single sound through the cacophony of multiple voices, cars, animals, equipment.

She sharpened her taste with wine and liquor and food. She can separate the flavors and ingredients.

Her eyesight was harder. It took a while to realize that the best way to train that was to lay down absolutely still, watching a bird, tracing the individual patterns on its feathers. In a dark forest at night.

There is a strength to surrender, Leah learned, over the months following her breakdown in the forest.

There are decided perks to being… whatever she was, Leah concluded.

She saved a lot of money on skin care and makeup. Her skin was never dry or oily, and she never got a sunburn. Her skin was always healthy, her hair was always thick and shiny.

She discovered control over her body. Like speeding up her healing. Or slowing it down, if there were humans watching. Her skin was hard enough to withstand a bullet (learned that the hard way) without any effort on her part, but she can also make it so that she can get a bikini wax or get blood drawn. She can stretch out her stamina by slowing down her heart rate and healing her muscles.

She had perfect balance on the highest heels. And no blisters.

Then there were the jobs. As it turned out, there was a market for creatures like her. A lot of money to be made for a few "odd" jobs here and there. Turns out you really can find any kind of shit on the dark web.

And she was learning. Including some things she probably shouldn't know. How to do… things. Things she probably shouldn't know how to do. And more about herself. About their kind. About other kinds. Not that the pack wanted to hear any of what she had learned. Then again, some things they're probably better off not knowing. These things terrify her.

But that's a story for another time…

And if she still didn't fully accept her fate. If she hadn't fully killed her rage (the rage is always there, if she were honest). If she still had a dual identity, or conflicting beliefs, or a strained acceptance of what she is, or just plain hypocrisy, she can live with it.

She must.

And so she does.

And the years pass…

NOTE:

I will leave Leah for a bit. The next two chapters will be from Bella's perspective so we can take a look into where she and the other characters are, where their lives are years after the end of BD2, and to provide a different opinion on Leah's development and personality.