By Kalnaman and Malinga
As/N: Thanks for the great reviews.
Only a few days later, the time had come where Hotch was called being told that he was needed at the BAU and that he had to leave Gideon to take care of Spencer alone. "It's okay, Hotch don't worry. I'll take good care of our boy."
"Are you sure you guys will be okay on your own?" Hotch worried, as he put on his jacket.
"Don't worry about me Hotch. I don't even need Gideon to babysit me. I still can't believe he retired, just because of me. I really don't need a babysitter. I'm fine now."
Hotch shook his head and simply ignored Spencer's comment, turning in Gideon's direction for confirmation.
"Don't worry about us. We'll be fine," Gideon said.
Hotch nodded, "okay, but if you need anything, don't even hesitate to give me a call. I'll be here as soon as possible," Hotch threw over his shoulder, as he headed for the door.
"You can go out if you want Gideon. You really don't need to babysit me."
"Sorry kid. Nice try, though."
Spencer let out a sigh. "Okay. Don't complain to me later that you're tired of me, and that you don't have any alone-time."
Gideon just shook his head.
"Actually I think both of us need to get some exercise. So take your jacket and let's go out for a walk."
Spencer made a face. "I don't want to walk. I want to go to my room and read some," Spencer lied. Actually he hadn't been reading, as it was too hard for him to do so.
"It's nonnegotiable. Now take your jacket and let's go!" Gideon said firmly, while grabbing his own jacket.
Spencer reluctantly put on his jacket. He didn't want a spanking; he'd behaved well enough since the pill-incident that he'd hadn't received a spanking, and he surely didn't want to blow it now.
They went to the park, and Spencer actually enjoyed the walk.
At the end of the day Spencer was more and more annoyed at Gideon. He was worse than Hotch. He was nagging him again and again about this and that.
And when Gideon then told him that Hotch had to go to Tennessee for a few days on a case, he had feared that he would be smothered to death before Hotch came back.
"What do you mean I have to get ready for bed? It's barely ten yet," Spencer said while trying hard to hide a yawn.
"Because you're tired and you're cranky. Now come on, let's get to the bathroom," Gideon said while pulling the key to the bathroom out of his pocket.
Spencer wrapped his arms around himself. "No! I don't want to and you can't boss me around! I'm an adult, just so you know!"
"Well you surely don't act like one. Let's make a deal. Get ready for bed now, and then we can watch a movie before you actually go to bed, if you can stay awake that is."
Spencer thought about it and nodded. "Okay, but only if we can watch Star Trek. But I WILL be able to see the whole movie," Spencer said, but not without trying to hide another yawn.
Gideon had a hard time hiding a chuckle. He was sure that Spencer wouldn't last five minutes from the start of the movie. He then laid a hand on Spencer's shoulder. "Come on, let's get to the bathroom."
Spencer reluctantly followed.
When they were inside Spencer said, "I want to take a shower. Can't you leave me alone in here, at least for five minutes?"
Gideon shook his head sadly, "Sorry, Spencer. You know what the doctor said."
Spencer let out a frustrated sigh. "Then at least turn around."
Gideon wondered if Hotch and he should request to check his body for any self-inflicted injuries. Spencer using the shower would be a good opportunity to do so. But then he thought more closely. They kept a very close eye on Spencer and a kept baby monitor in his room, so he was sure that Spencer wouldn't be able to hide hurting himself without them noticing. He turned around so Spencer would be able to at least take a shower with some measure of privacy. If he hadn't turned around, he would have seen wounds that should have been healed long ago but weren't healed at all.
When Gideon could hear that Spencer had turned off the shower he said, "You'd better see if you can use the toilet before we leave the bathroom."
"Actually… Mommy, I don't need to go. And besides I can try right before I really go to bed," he said, not so politely.
"Spencer Reid! You'd better change that tone of voice of yours. I think you should try in case you fall asleep while watching the movie."
Spencer rolled his eyes. "I told you I won't fall asleep."
"Just humor me okay."
Spencer let out a sigh. "You're such a mother-hen; even worse than Hotch. Did you know that?"
Gideon just ignored him.
Spencer reluctantly did as he was asked.
Gideon smiled when he saw Spencer sound asleep four minutes after the movie had started. He got up and lifted Spencer and carried him to bed and tucked him in. He turned on the baby monitor and made sure that a night light was on.
oOo
The next day found Spencer arguing with Gideon.
"I don't want to go shopping!" Spencer yelled.
"Spencer Reid. Stop testing my patience, or I promise you I'll order you in a timeout or worse, give you a spanking if you don't stop! Now you are going with me shopping, as you know I can't leave you here on your own. I wish I could, but I can't. If you behave I may buy you something, but only if you behave. Now grab your jacket and let's go."
Spencer wrapped his arms around himself. "I'm not a kid you can put in a timeout and I have my own money, so I can buy what I want."
"You're forgetting something here. For the time being Hotch has power over your money. You can't buy anything without his consent."
Spencer let out a frustrated sigh. "Okay, fine!" He said while yanking his jacket of the chair and put it on in a huff. Gideon closed his eyes for a few seconds, he was afraid that it was going to be a very long day.
oOo
Spencer actually behaved very well at the mall, to Gideon's satisfaction. So when they had bought what Gideon needed, he allowed Spencer to go into two stores of his liking, though he wasn't allowed to go on his own. He noticed that Spencer was admiring an Einstein pajama.
"You want that pajama set, Spencer?"
Spencer shook his head, though Gideon could see that he really wanted it, but was kind of embarrassed to say yes. So when Spencer wasn't looking, Gideon bought it and had it wrapped as a gift.
When they got back home Gideon gave Spencer the gift. Spencer looked confused at it. "What is it?"
"Open it and you'll find out."
Spencer slowly opened it, like he was afraid that there could be a bomb in it, but his face lit up when he saw the pajamas. "Is that for me?"
"Yes, it is."
Spencer smiled brightly and wrapped his arms around Gideon. "Thank you!"
"You're welcome."
In the evening it wasn't hard at all for Gideon to get Spencer ready for bed, because he was looking so much forward to putting the new pajamas on, like a little kid.
oOo
The next day didn't go as well. Spencer still tried Gideon's patience. Though not so bad that it earned him a spanking, but bad enough for his first corner time.
oOo
A few days later, Spencer was happy when Hotch finally came through the door.
"Hi, everybody!" Hotch announced himself.
Spencer greeted him by hugging him for dear life. "You're finally back!"
"Woah... buddy." Hotch laughed, hugging Spencer back just as fiercely. "I missed you too, son."
"I did, I did! Gideon is annoying Hotch. He made me take naps, even on those days where I didn't have any sessions with the shrink. He was hovering over me all the time. Spencer, do this! Spencer, do that!" Spencer whined and Gideon just rolled his eyes.
Hotch laughed lightly, ruffling his hair warmly. "He just worries about you, Spencer."
"Maybe, but it's not necessary. I'm fine. You need to face that," Spencer lied. He was happy that they looked away when he undressed every time he had to take a shower or go to bed. But if they had looked, they would have seen that even though he wanted to, he'd not been cutting, because all the knifes were locked away, but instead he had been using the cuts he already had, so he was scratching at his scabs in order to feel the pain that way.
"Let Dr. Nimoy be the judge of that, okay," Answered Hotch, while hanging his jacket on the peg by the door and grabbing Spencer in a one-armed hug. He'd really missed the kid, horribly so.
"So, how were things while I was away?" Hotch asked, looking at Gideon when he said this and nodding his head in Spencer's direction, covertly asking how Spencer was doing.
"He's been behaving well enough not to deserve a spanking. But he honestly has been testing my patience from time to time."
"And you mine!" Spencer said pouting.
Hotch shook his head and shot Spencer a stern stare, "Spencer Reid. I thought I told you to behave when I left."
"I have been behaving. It's not my fault that Gideon can be so annoying."
"Spencer!" Hotch reprimanded loudly. "He just wants to make sure you're okay."
"But..."
"No buts, young man," Hotch cut in, "he's your friend and he is worried about you."
Spencer then just pouted.
"Come on," Hotch urged, guiding them to the kitchen. "I'm starved, how about we call for some pizza, huh?" He recommended, looking at each of them in turn.
Spencer shrugged, "I guess."
"What about you, Jason? Pizza sound good to you?" Hotch smiled, happy to be home with his family again.
Gideon smiled. "Pizza sounds great. What about me making some, instead of ordering in?"
Hotch's face lit up, his eyes going wide like saucers, and his mouth hanging open in awe. "Ohhh... you can make home-made pizza, Jason?"
"Yes, I can. So just say what you want on them, and I'll make them for you."
"I don't care," Spencer said.
"Okay, Spencer, but don't complain to me about it later if you don't like what's on the pizza. You will be eating what we put on your plate. Is that understood?" Gideon said firmly.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."
Hotch shook his head. It seemed someone was in a bad mood today.
Gideon just ignored Spencer and went to the kitchen to start making the pizzas.
Hotch followed Gideon, ready to lend a hand, if needed.
"Do you need some help, Jason?" Hotch asked, while still keeping a close eye on Spencer, sulking in the adjacent room.
Spencer wished he could open the front door, but sadly Hotch had changed the locks so that he wasn't able to leave on his own.
"Yes, please. You can start cutting the tomatoes," Gideon said, while unlocking the drawer with the knives.
"Okay." Hotch said, picking the tomatoes and proceeding to wash them under the faucet, then started slicing them up as Gideon instructed.
After some time Gideon put the pizzas in the oven. "Now, we just need to wait until they're done, and then we can finally eat." Gideon said.
Hotch rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "Ohh... they smell great already. You really don't cease to amaze me, my friend. Didn't know you were such a good cook."
Hotch and Gideon set the table for dinner. And then they could hear a *ping* and that meant that the pizzas were ready.
"Ohhh... good." Hotch rubbed his hands together, feeling his mouth watering already.
"Spencer! Time to eat!" Gideon yelled.
Spencer was sitting on the couch and started to panic. He tried to stand up, but he couldn't move. 'No, please not again, not now. Please,' Spencer prayed.
Hotch glanced out into the living room, and could see Spencer's face transform into an expression of pure panic, but he wasn't moving. "Spencer?"
Hotch got to his feet from his place at the table, and walked out into the living room, kneeling right beside Spencer and gently laying a hand on the young man's knee.
"Spencer? Spencer, what's wrong, son?"
Spencer tried to focus really hard to get his legs moving and then he was finally able to. He hoped that he could lie his way out of this mess. He then looked at Hotch. "Ehmm... n-nothing... I-I'm fine."
Hotch stared at him with deep concern in his eyes. "No, you're not fine, Spencer. What just happened?" He threw him a warning glare, daring him to tell him anything but the truth.
Spencer sprang up. "I told you I'm fine! Now let's go eat before the pizzas get cold." Spencer said and headed for the kitchen, even though he wasn't hungry.
Hotch stared at Spencer's retreating back, planning to discuss this in the near future.
At the table Spencer ate the pizza very slowly and was in deep thought.
Hotch, for his part, ate his pizza while keeping a close eye on Spencer, trying to determine what that episode in the living room had been all about.
Spencer looked away when Hotch looked at him, not daring to look him in the eye out of fear that he would find out about his deep dark secret.
Hotch threw Gideon a worried glance, letting him know there was something very wrong and that they'd need to talk later on.
Gideon nodded, but he couldn't stop worrying about what had just happened in the living room.
"This is great, Jason." Hotch said, trying to ease the tension a little.
Gideon smiled. "I'm happy that at least someone is enjoying my pizza," Gideon said, while looking over at a certain young man.
"Spencer, you better start eating faster. No matter what, you won't be allowed to leave the table before you've eaten your pizza."
Hotch glanced in Spencer's direction, realizing for the first time now how little he'd actually eaten. Spencer had cut the pizza in small pieces and for the most part, he'd just pushed his food around his plate to make it look like he'd eaten something.
"Gideon is right, Spencer," Hotch put in, "you'd better start eating if you want to leave this table any time soon."
Spencer let out a sigh and started to eat faster. He was happy when he was finally done. But then Gideon stood up and handed him his pills and a glass of water. He let out a sigh once again. He just wished that for once he'd forget about the pills.
But sadly neither did he, nor Hotch.
Hotch watched Spencer closely, to make sure he took the pills before going back to his meal.
As it was now a routine after taking the pills, he opened his mouth wide and stuck out his tongue to show Gideon that he'd swallowed them.
Hotch sighed, pleased to see they'd made a routine of the pill-taking while he was gone and that Spencer wasn't making a fuss about it anymore.
"Can I be excused?" Spencer asked. He prayed that he was allowed to be. He wanted to hurry to his room and scratch at his wounds; he needed the pain so badly.
"Yes, you may." Hotch agreed, thinking it was best if he talked to Gideon in private at the moment.
Hotch didn't need to say that twice. Spencer hurried up and ran up to his room.
"I'm worried about him, Jason," Hotch started, as soon as Spencer had run out of the kitchen.
"What do you mean? What happened in the living room?"
"He was like paralyzed with fear back there," Hotch started, worry seeping through his every word. "He wouldn't tell me what was going on, but there was definitely something wrong."
Gideon frowned in worry. "That is worrisome. Do you have any idea what could have been wrong?"
"I really don't know. But it has me worried here, Jason," Hotch continued, "I tried talking to him about it, but he wouldn't listen to me."
"Okay. We'd better keep an extra eye on him."
"Yeah, I think so too. Something's definitely worrying him."
Gideon nodded sadly. "I hope we'll find out before it's too late."
Hotch sighed and nodded his head, hoping against hope this had nothing to do with Spencer's feelings of self loathing and that he wasn't harboring any crazy ideas in that complex mind of his.
Spencer was up in his room scratching deeply at his wounds while he had a cloth in his mouth to prevent any sounds from escaping, making his 'daddies' notice what he was up to. His wounds were bleeding while Spencer enjoyed the relief the pain gave him.