Eighteen Month Ago
Buffy kept her sunglasses covering her eyes as she made her way down Main Street, she was so mad at Angel and mad at herself. She knew he wasn't doing anything wrong but it hurt all the same to see girls all over him and for him to reciprocate.
A shudder rolled through her as she tried to stop the tears from falling, hot angry tears, both from being angry and from being jealous. As she rounded a corner she bumped into Parker and froze on the spot "Oh my god, I'm so sorry"
Parker smiled kindly and tipped her head up, he could see the trail of tears that had ran down her cheeks, not covered by the sunglasses she was wearing "Buffy, is everything okay?" His fingers stroked her arm soothingly. When she shook her head no, he slipped his hand around her bicep and pulled her in the direction of his car.
She went without saying anything and climbed inside, finally taking her glasses off and sighing "Thank you…" she looked out the window before looking back at him. He had this look on his face, one she couldn't quite place but it put her a little on edge.
She looked around the interior of his car then faced the window as she tried to discretely wipe the tears and mascara marks from underneath her eyes. She flipped down the visor and took a quick look before settling back into the seat and sighing.
After five minutes of silence, they pulled up outside his parents house. Buffy looked in awe, it wasn't as impressive as Giles house but was nice… and that he brought her here was a big deal, he always said he would never have just anyone back.
Parker led her inside "Mom and Dad are out and won't be back till late…" he quirked and eyebrow and cleared his throat "Want a drink?" Seeing her look uncomfortable he smirked "…a water or a soda?" When she answered, he reached inside the fridge and grabbed them both a bottle of water before leading her to his room.
Buffy entered nervously and stood by the door as he leaned back on his bed "You have a nice house" she heard him let out a clipped chuckle before motioning to her to come closer. On autopilot she made her way over and sat carefully on the bed beside him.
His hand touched her thigh, tracing delicate patterns over it "Why were you crying…" seeing her avoid looking at him he deepened his grip, massaging her soft skin "He's not worth it"
Buffy looked at him in shock "What… what do you mean?"
Having been the reason why many a girl cried their hearts out, he knew it must be because of someone else. He sighed dramatically "Buffy, the only reason a girl like you would cry in broad daylight would be over a guy…"
Buffy frowned "What do you mean, a girl like me?!" She tensed, hoping that this wasn't another one of those times where he would say something nice, followed by something so nasty to have a good laugh at.
Going in for the kill, he framed her face with his fingertips "A pretty girl… Buffy, you are beautiful" he leaned down to kiss her softly before pulling back "and beautiful girls don't deserve to cry over worthless men" he kissed her again.
Buffy shook her head, all thoughts in her head were at war with each other. She knew she should be careful around Parker, he has a reputation, a bad one at that, but lately he had been so sweet and kind to her "Angel didn't mean to…"
Parker smirked, he knew of Angel, knew he was one of the older guys and knew he could use this to his advantage. Surely Angel didn't want her? "Maybe… but he made you cry…" this time when he kissed her, he pushed her back to lie across his bed, his hand trailing up her skirt and stopping when he felt the soft fabric of her panties.
Buffy stiffened and turned her head away "I, I should go…" when he didn't move, she looked back at him and pleaded silently. After a pause he leaned back and smiled kindly at her. Without saying anything she headed towards the door then looked back as she called her name.
Parker held his hand out to her "I like spending time with you, I know we've not went on formal dates but I have been enjoying when we hang out" slowly she came over and pulled her back down to lie beside him "I know you think you shouldn't trust me cause I have hurt some girls in the past but Buffy… I always thought there was something wrong with me but I think it was something missing and whats missing is you"
Parker ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her back down for a kiss, this time he felt her respond with more vigour than before. His hand trailed back up her thigh and he slipped a finger under her panties and groaned, he knew she was untouched and that made this all the more sweeter.
Buffy gasped as his fingers applied more pressure, alarm bells started ringing so she pulled back again "Parker…"
This time when he leaned close her nipped at her neck before pressing his mouth against her ear "Buffy… you make me want to be different… I have all these new feelings, all about you… I love you" he felt her relax so he pulled her panties down her legs.
Buffy gasped, surely he didn't just say that? She searched his eyes and he didn't look like he was playing with her. When he grabbed her hand and placed it at his crotch, she palmed him through his jeans and bit her lip. Her brain was trying to warn her, to think of Angel but when she did she felt like she needed to wipe that memory away of him and that woman from earlier.
It wasn't long before he had her stripped naked, his touch, his kiss, being light and teasing before becoming so much more. She let him lead with her exploration of his body, each breathy moan from him spurred her on in her quest. When it came time for them to go all the way, he tried to get away without using protection but she stuck to her guns about using one.
He promised her it would be all okay and when he dove straight in, causing her to squeak in pain, he said that it was normal and that the pain would be expected and it wouldn't be nice. She asked him to slow down as the burn continued but he said no but eventually the pain faded and she felt herself respond to his actions.
After he came, he rolled onto his back and sighed in satisfaction. When Buffy tried to cuddle into him he pushed her shoulder to get her to move back, she looked at him in question to which he scoffed "I don't want to cuddle"
Feeling a bit taken aback by his tone she bit the inside of her cheek and nodded, she lay back against the pillow, stretching her limbs out. She looked up at the ceiling and felt nausea, grief and something, something she couldn't describe.
"Buffy?" When she looked at him he had sat up and begun getting dressed again, his cold eyes looked at her making her feel worse "get your shit on and get gone…"
She frowned "What?!"
Parker grinned as he looked at her "You just gave it up so easy" he laughed when her eyes widened "Ah Buff, I really thought you would have held out…"
As her eyes filled his tears, she grabbed at the sheets and pulled them up to cover her nude form "Why are you saying this… y-you said that…"
He cut her off with a snort "That I love you? Please, it's the easiest lie to get girls into bed, besides, who would love you, not me? …and certainly not Angel, not after he finds out what you've done…" he came close and stroked her cheek, making her flinch "Precious little Buffy, good girl gone… bad? Not even bad, you're just pathetic, just good enough to be fucked and dumped" he yanked on the sheet that was covering her, leaving her fully exposed.
He bit his lip as she stared ahead, feeling each nasty little word break her down, the pain in her face giving him a thrill "I wont tell him though, I won't tell anyone… only if you promise me just one little thing"
Lately she had gave Angel more than enough reasons to think less of her, doing more and more idiotic things and this would probably be the catalyst for him dropping her as a friend. In a panic she nodded "Anything"
Parker gripped her chin tight and forced her to look at him "Whatever I say or do goes, no questions, no smart ass replies, nothing. Got it" when she paused he tightened his grip "Got. It. ?"
She managed to hold her composure and whispered "got it" when he let go of her, she hurried to put her clothes back on and left without another word being said between them. Without looking back, she practically ran home and locked herself in the bathroom for some privacy.
Buffy looked at her reflection in the mirror and finally let the tears fall. She couldn't believe that she had fallen for his lies, not only that, that he was right, she didn't give it a second thought as she let him take away her innocence. The reflection she saw made her skin crawl, she felt vile.
Turning around, she lifted the toilet seat up in just enough time so that she could be sick. Violent tremors shook her as she threw up the contents of her stomach until the burning from her retching took over.
Oooooooooooooooo
She had spent all night between her bed, tossing and turning and the bathroom where she tried to be sick but nothing else came out. The little sleep she had got done nothing for her either, she looked and felt like shit.
She needed someone to talk to this about, she didn't want to talk to Darla and she couldn't talk to Faith cause she would blab to everyone and anyone. That only left Angel, unfortunately, once again she had been a total idiot to him and his date, so she was unsure if he would even speak to her just yet.
After spending a good while debating it, she headed over to Crawford Street and knocked on the door. Giles smiled kindly to her and said that Angel was up in his room, to just head on up. As she climbed the stairs her stomach knotted tightly, she tried to think about the best way to broach this subject.
"Angel?" She pushed open the door and paused, he was sliding a shirt on, her gaze lingered over his chest, down his abdomen and to those damned leather pants. Those ones he saved for a night out…
Angel paused briefly before buttoning the shirt, all bar the top couple, leaving a little peak of his tanned chest "What do you want, Buffy" he was still mad at her and wasn't in the mood for a repeat of yesterday.
Automatically going on the defensive, she scowled at him "If your going to be an ass, then I'll just go"
Angel pinched the bridge of his nose "Buffy" he took a deep breath then looked at her again "What are WE doing here? You come to me and insult my guests, I give you space when you tell me you don't want me to speak to you then you just show up again?" This was a common occurrence.
Buffy felt the tears rise once more, she knew it was bratty to act like how she did yesterday but she couldn't help it. Now she really needed someone to lean on "Well every time I try to talk to you, you come at me, and when you're not here, you're really not here"
He shook his head and cleared his throat "So… you're mad at me for being here too much or for not being here enough?" He liked a good brain teaser but this was just going over his head.
Folding her arms across her chest, she replied "Duh. Yes!"
Angel almost laughed but didn't find anything funny about this "I've told you time and time again that I'm here for you but it doesn't give you the right to treat me or anyone else like shit, okay? I've got a date, so we can meet up tomorrow before I fly back East"
She wished that he didn't have a date, that he would be here for her and help her understand why things had gotten so bad. She nodded softly and looked to the ground, doing her best not to cry again.
When he took another look at her, he could sense that something was wrong "Buffy, is everything okay?" He rubbed her arm softly and leaned down so they were almost eye level to each other.
Buffy done her best impression of a smile, one that didn't quite reach her eyes and looked back at him "Yeah, its nothing…" under his intense gaze, she held that fake smile with all of her might.
Angel narrowed his eyes, something was definitely up and he knew it "You sure?"
She licked her bottom lip then nodded "Yeah, I'm sorry for barging in like this, go, enjoy your date" she leaned over for a quick hug and turned to leave, when she reached for the door he asked if she would come by tomorrow "Tomorrow. See you then" but it was a lie, she didn't want to see him and done her best to avoid him when he did come back after then.
Thankfully over Winter break she could easily avoid Faith, Luke and most importantly Parker, they didn't bother contacting her, nor did she message them. It was refreshing to feel almost happy again, not feeling like she was being gaslighted by friends.
On Christmas she woke up to a few small gifts from Darla, she was touched by the thought and Darla smiled kindly when opening hers. Their good morning was over when Darla announced she would have to fend for herself as she was heading to Willies for drinks.
Angel had sent her a text wishing her a Merry Christmas, when she hit reply she asked if it was okay to come over for a bit and he of course said yes. When she arrived, they both welcomed her with open arms, warm inviting hugs and even a few presents. They always would make the effort with her.
Seeing that she was being hesitant when talking about heading home Giles offered her to stay for dinner. When she sat down at the table it was clear that he had made enough for her too. She smiled kindly to him and dug in, that content feeling came back, being part of a household that cared for each other.
Angel had drove her back to her house that night and they had spent an hour talking before she reluctantly dragged herself inside.
For the rest of winter break she took time by herself to really think about what she was going to do, she had managed to avoid the gang and felt better for it.
Seeing that she was in desperate need for a tutor for English she messaged Willow, they had been sort of friends in middle school but drifted throughout high school. Willow was such a gentle soul and didn't second question being asked for help, she actually made her feel welcomed without judgement.
Although she never managed to meet up with Angel before he left, they video called every second night. He knew that she was drifting from the bad influences and that she was spending more time with Willow, and he said that was a positive step in the right direction.
She sent Willow a text saying to meet by the car park tomorrow so they could chat before first period, since reconnecting, she had found that they really got on and could see them being friends. Willow smiled widely that morning and didn't see the dirty look that Faith had shot them as she walked by.
Buffy shifted uncomfortably, as Faith reached Luke, she whispered to him and motioned in her direction. The big lug raised his lip in disgust and drew the eyes off of her, saying something back to the brunette beside him. They both snickered before heading inside.
For the rest of that week and the start of the next she was left alone, well, when Faith, Luke and Parker walked by her they would laugh or whisper to each other in her direction. If that was the worst they would do, then she was fine by that, she had gotten good at ignoring things.
On the day of her 18th birthday, she woke up to a voice recording of Angel wishing her a happy birthday, a text from Giles and one from Willow and Darla had even sprung a small cake on her. She spent the day by herself, just taking the time for a coffee and a movie, just wanting the peace that solidarity offered.
A letter had arrived a few days before her birthday from the trust of her parents' estate, she had read the words carefully and done her best to understand without asking Giles for help. The letter explained how much her trust was worth and how she can legally access said money after her birthday.
She was thankful that her parents had drawn up details not long after she was born explaining what should happen in the event of their untimely passing. Thanks to that money, if wise, could set her up for a good bit of time, allowing her to be truly independent once and for all.
Sliding her backpack off her shoulders she shimmied up the thin walkway of the bus and took a seat up near the rear end. She scooted over to the window seat and laid her head against the glass and closed her eyes, hoping that this journey wouldn't feel like it would forever.