Chapter 9: Natural Justice
L examined with a sort of detached interest the play of expressions over Light's face. The young man was in a pose which would have been relaxed but for the tense energy radiating from him. His legs were crossed, one hand laid lazily across his knees, the other at his cheek, but L could see his foot jiggling rapidly, the rattle of his shoe against the table-leg no doubt mirroring the pounding of heart against ribcage. Strangely, he looked like an excited teenager rather than a suave criminal, but the false calm superimposed over the triumph and victory was more disturbing than it was becoming. L became more relaxed as it dropped away; Light turned to him to answer, and the happiness in his eyes outshone the glow of the muted television. It made L's own heart squeeze in his chest, although he tried not to acknowledge this inexplicable physical reaction. After all, the look was nothing to do with him.
"It went better than I ever thought it would," he enthused eagerly. "Lawliet, don't you get it? Every person in Japan will be talking about us. None of our alarms went off, nobody tried to shut down the programme. The killing went so smoothly it was unbelievable, almost as if Madarame wanted to die for our cause. People will be writing in from all over to praise what we have started! Everyone who believes in justice will come forwards to join us!"
L frowned a little as he continued to survey his companion. Maybe there was something in his chemical make-up which made it entirely impossible for him to trust another human being. Or perhaps it was because he knew enough about Light's past to know that Light had been one of the youngest criminal masterminds in history. The material point was that the naive joy in Light's eyes did not convince him one bit. If anything, it made him certain that Light was still playing him, trying to lull him into a false sense of security. Perhaps the boy was aware that L was keeping close tabs on him, and was attempting to mislead him. Still, he had no doubt that the excitement in his eyes was genuine, even if the words were a lie. Light had no idea that his clever flattery and subtle play of power was fruitless, and had been from the very beginning. Still, L played his own part.
"I do not need to point out to you, Light-kun, that there will inevitably be complications. Indeed, I believe that I would feel rather short-changed if the task of ruling the world was as elementary as this. Although people are, as a rule, fairly mindless, I will not go so far as to underestimate a majority opinion. If one person starts screaming, usually everyone else will too."
"What about the groundworks we've laid out over the past few weeks?" Light pouted. "You're spoiling the fun of the moment. Honestly, were you always such a pessimist?"
L looked at him.
"Yes," he deadpanned. He felt unreasonably angry at Light, either for trying to fool him with his innocent act, or for failing to take their job seriously enough, teasing him, being so relaxed around him, almost as if he was truly fond of him, truly excited to be doing this with him. Already a part of him was regretting getting involved in this venture when he could be lying face-down on his bed thinking about cake, no issues about narcissistic ex-criminals to interrupt his monotony. Somehow, now the time was almost here, it was painful to spoil his enthusiasm, to crush it all in the palm of his hand.
"L?" Light asked, sounding slightly perturbed. Perhaps his expression had betrayed him."Are you ok? It didn't... bother you, did it?"
"Did what bother me?" L asked flatly. Did he truly care? Was he making a mistake? Or was it yet another act?
"The, um... killing," Light phrased carefully. "I mean, we did agree, didn't we? To do this your way?"
"Madarame's death is not an issue," L replied. "Nor will the deaths of the next ten criminals we have picked out be any loss."
"What about..." Light trailed off hesitantly. Or in a very convincing impression of hesitation, L thought to himself.
"How many people have you killed, Light-kun?" he demanded suddenly, swinging round to fix his blank grey eyes on the surprised boy. After a brief flash of something in sepia eyes, they became unreadable; his tone changed faintly, becoming more mature, more alluring, almost as it had been when they had first met in Light's prison cell, like warm treacle. It hardened L's resolve.
"You already know that, L," he replied smoothly. L did not blink, or look away. Instead he leaned in further.
"But how many of them," he persisted, "did you murder with your own hands? How many pairs of eyes faded to black as you looked at them?" He widened his own eyes for emphasis, and enjoyed the shudder which ran involuntarily through Light. But Light recovered almost immediately, and folded his arms blithely.
"Isn't that for you to find out? Are you anxious that I'm a bloodthirsty fiend now we've got blood on our hands? How many have you killed, L?"
L was silent for a few moments; A's keen, pale face flashed uncomfortably behind his eyes for a few seconds, and the faces of fourteen other men, fresh in his mind.
"I've taken many lives," he answered finally. "But none who didn't deserve it. I'm just wondering if you deserve it, Yagami Light. Tell me honestly, how many lives have you taken with your own two hands?"
Light really was much too good at acting. If L hadn't been staring so intently he never would have caught the calculating flicker in his eyes a moment before they dropped to his lap. The arms unfolded and hung limply by his sides.
"I've never killed a man," he said dully. "Not like that. I've always had accomplices to do that for me. But I've spoken the order more times than I can count."
L knew he was lying. There had been a look in his eyes which told him that he knew what it felt like to watch someone stop struggling underneath you. He filed away the answer, the reaction, to add to the Yagami puzzle. It had been the hardest one he had ever assembled. But whether that was because of the difficulty of the pieces, or because of the face staring up at him as he put them together, he was not sure. But it was the final confirmation he needed. Now matter how much or little he might care, Light was still lying. He was still prepared to go all the way.
"This is the first time I've ordered someone's death," L said. "I do not feel anything." Light looked up quizzically.
"When was the last time you felt anything, Lawliet?" he asked. L didn't reply, instead flipping open his laptop to run through the websites they had set up. It was a good question. But he couldn't give the answer. Not whilst looking him in the eyes, anyway.
"I lied to you, Light-kun," he said to his computer screen. "We agreed that this broadcast would be the first introduction of our cause to the world. I've been planting information on the internet relating to seigi since the day we agreed on an objective."
Light sat rooted to the spot, evidently confused, so L continued.
"The day I gave you those encrypted files and we agreed which criminals to pick out, I only gave you half the information I found. The other disc of files I organised myself, and I've been killing off a criminal every day for two weeks." Now he remained silent, waiting for Light to respond.
"So this isn't the first time you've ordered someone's death," Light rasped finally.
"I told you earlier tonight to take nothing for granted," L said darkly. "I did not order the murder of fourteen people; you did."
He watched idly for Light's reaction; the younger man looked pale and furious, and he was obviously thinking at about three hundred miles per hour. Finally, Light spoke, his voice a measured, icy calm.
"I know too much about you for you to betray me, Lawliet; you're bluffing."
"I can assure you that I am serious. I admit, I would not have attempted such a feat had it not been for one criminal on my separate disc whose crimes I found rather interesting; Teru Mikami."
Light's face paled to a sickly white. L felt a sickening lurch in his stomach region, and he realised that even now he was half hoping he was wrong. Nevertheless he continued in a calm, dead manner.
"He wouldn't have caught my eye particularly, since his crimes seemed to be fairly simple; all the men whose murders he was convicted of were personal enemies of his. It was an interesting case, though. Reading it through, it was obvious the man had a strong sense of justice, even if it was rather twisted. He was an attorney, a prosecutor, trying to prove men guilty. When he lost a case, and a criminal walked free, he murdered that criminal.
"I wouldn't have thought twice about him, though, had I not come across his name just days before in a completely different context. The thing that interested me was that when I had come across his name for the first time, it was as a defence lawyer. I think you know who the defendant for the case was, Yagami Light. I found it intriguing that the man who defended you was convicted of multiple murders six months later. About the same time that your sentence was altered from life to death row, in fact.
"The link was not much in itself, since it could easily have been a coincidence. But after a little research into Mikami, I discovered that only once in his entire career had he acted as the defence; for you. This made it more likely in my mind that there was some particular connection between the two of you. Once I knew this much, your relationship with Mikami became far more significant since the Kira killings continued until about the time Mikami was arrested. Although nothing in the police reports links the two of you, it became clear to me that the two of you were intimately connected.
"The Kira killings began when you were ten years old; hardly old enough to be a murderer. So the only logical conclusion was that Kira was another person, at least in the start. And although I am not sentimental as a rule, I always thought that there was something innocent about your eyes, right up until you were about eighteen.
"I was curious about your past right from the start. You knew that, and you used it to tie me into your scheme. But you underestimated just how much I might be able to uncover. You thought that since the police reports do not link the two of you together, I would not be able to find out about Teru Mikami. But even you cannot lie with your eyes, Light. Once I had learnt Mikami's name, I tested you, and I learnt that there was somebody in the past you cared about deeply. Mello's careless words confirmed that you were looking for someone. It was his misconception about our own relationship that made him think perhaps you were no longer searching for Teru.
But I searched, and I admit that I asked Mello a few questions after our meeting with him to confirm what I suspected, although once again he doesn't realise he gave me the information. But I knew he must know; you yourself told me you had been acquainted with him since you were young. Clearly you were already questioning the traditional definitions of right and wrong, but you had never killed a man. Of that I am sure. But sometime in 2004, when you were eighteen years old, you met an older man by the name of Teru Mikami. Right about then, perhaps a few months later, he initiated you into his scheme of justice, and you condemned your first man to death as the second Kira."
"When did you talk to Mello?" Light interrupted, looking ashen but by no means defeated; he was still thinking.
"Yesterday, whilst I was supposed to be at work, I went to pay him a visit. I don't think he was very pleased about being woken up, but he'll recover. You had phoned him a little earlier. I assume you meant to ask about the search for Mikami you were conducting behind my back ,or perhaps request his silence in case I had discovered too much. Either way, I doubt you got much out of him. I told him you'd sent me around in person to ask since he hadn't replied to your call. I asked him whether he'd had any luck locating Mikami yet. He told me he was still searching, so I managed to confirm what I suspected without him realising anything. He told me enough for me to confirm you had known each other a long time, and that he meant a great deal to you. He told me, ever since you met Mikami, your entire attitude to the law changed almost overnight."
L paused, and took another look at Light's face. He didn't look beaten, but there was definitely a sign of deep emotional turmoil in the slight hunch of his shoulders and the whiteness of his lips.
"Did you love him, Light-kun?" L questioned in a gentler voice. "Did you love him enough to throw our partnership away when you found him, had I not got there first?"
Light looked at him, eyes hardening.
"Even with this, Lawliet, you can't take me down unless you're willing to come down with me," he said harshly. "I have evidence galore that the two of us have worked together."
"I am aware, but I have even more compelling evidence that I've been using our contact to solve the mystery of the Kira killings," L countered, slightly reluctantly. "And of course I had no knowledge whatsoever about the fourteen murders which you committed in the last two weeks."
"I don't understand," Light said in a clipped, even tone, "You said that I was sacrificing our partnership. You have no reason to believe that this is what I was going to do. It is you who is sacrificing our partnership. Everything we have planned, has been you and me, just the two of us. I have pressured you into nothing; everything was your own decision to make, and we could have been immensely powerful together. We still could be."
"Except that," L persisted, "this was a means to an end for you. Since you escaped, your main objective has been to locate Mikami. Am I not correct? I was just a useful pawn, a matter of broadcast was all about sending a message to him, that you are still willing to participate in his scheme of justice, even after he betrayed you."
"He didn't betray me," Light said harshly, and L knew that he had been correct. Although he and Light could have had something amazing, Light had already been spoilt by Teru's claws. Again something inside him he had not known existed chose that moment to shrivel up and die.
"You turned yourself in," L acknowledged, "but only to protect Mikami from being found out. And he let you."
"He defended me," argued Light.
"He lost on purpose," countered L ruthlessly. "He knew that a connection between the two of you was only days away from coming out after he had you help kill three consecutive people against whom he had lost cases, so he acknowledged the connection by defending you, but let you take the fall by yourself. Unfortunately, he was unable to resist the call of his supposed destiny, and he carried on killing criminals after your arrest and got himself caught. I assume since there is nothing in the evidence about you that you were never officially named as accomplices. You told me the FBI were involved. I'm sure it was discovered, but never proven, that you and Teru worked together. But since they could not prove it Teru was convicted of murdering only those whose cases he had lost, and the steepening of your sentence was made under some other pretext, so now that fact lies buried in history. Clearly you at least thought it could never be uncovered, or you would never have got me involved."
"It may be true that you managed to find out far more about my past than I thought possible," Light said slowly. "But if you linked the fourteen criminals to me and posted them on the internet, won't the police work it out and come looking for me here? I fail to see how you can disassociate yourself from this. Unless you mean to make the link yourself and arrest me, in which case there's still time to reconsider. We've set up the start of a new world here. I know you want it as much as I do. Can't we work together and forget the past? I admit, Mikami took me under his wing and turned me from a small-time vigilante into a master of justice, part of his Kira scheme. He gave my life purpose when I was still young and impressionable. But by the time I was arrested, it was my venture, not his. And I have evolved since then to more refined ideals. The only reason I was searching for Mikami was to ensure that he was not a risk to us. He is nothing to me anymore.
"Lawliet, I know what it must look like, but I'm not using you. I want this. I want seigi. And I want to work to achieve it with you. We're too alike not to work together. I know you must feel it too. Before I met you you were so bored of life's simplicity and its sordid stupidity that you barely functioned anymore. Isn't what we have here worth preserving? Can't you forget my past? I have."
Light was as sugar-coated as usual. He was correct, of course, that nobody could make the link between Light and the fourteen murders unless L divulged what he had discovered about Mikami. His foray into Light's past had turned up a rather useful fanatical ex-girlfriend, whose brain did not match her ardour, and who had been perfectly willing to organise the demise of the fourteen men under 'Light''s orders, with the promise that he would come for her as soon as her task was complete. Amane Misa had shown extraordinary cunning in arranging the murders – since she herself was one of Light's old contacts in show business, she knew plenty of people. Best of all, L had never met her face to face, but used the same voice distortion programme as they had on the messages, posing as Light. Although she had been upset at not hearing Light's voice, she had swallowed the lie about traces and done his bidding obediently.
However, despite this strong link to Light, only when his connection to Mikami's obsession with justice was unearthed would it be obvious that he had been behind the justice-motivated murders.
But L knew, despite Light's truly incredible acting skills, that what he was hearing was nothing more than the desperate flutterings of a butterfly caught in a collector's net. Much as he wished to believe what Light said, he had already surmised that Light could not tell a direct lie to save his life. Quite literally, he thought with grim, hollow irony.
"I apologise most deeply for betraying you, Light-kun," L said sadly. "Believe me, if I had thought for one moment that you were sincere, or that the happiness in your eyes was anything to do with me, I would have followed you to the ends of the earth in your quest for justice. But since you would only have cast me aside once you had found Mikami, it was mere common sense to defend myself and frame you. Whether he deserves it or not, I know that you are still in love with him.
"If I can offer you one thing; this publicity will result in a man-hunt all over the world for Mikami. Wherever he has disappeared to, I guarantee that I and the NPA will find him, and that you and he will see each other again in prison. We will both get the fairytale endings we were meant to get; you and your lover will die together in gaol, and I will become the most renowned detective in the country."
"And will that make you happy?" demanded Light. "I thought you made your own justice, let people go when you thought their case did not merit imprisonment. I was there when you allowed Aiber's family to keep the money he had stolen." His voice dropped to a heart-rending murmur as he uttered his last plea: "Can't you let me go?"
L's heart felt heavier than he had ever imagined it could. But even though Light's eyes were wide and sincere and beautiful, he had experience in being ruthless. And for him, although Light could not understand, his sense of right and wrong stood higher than his emotions. And he knew that Light and Mikami were too dangerous to be allowed to walk free. His eyes met Light's, and they told him the answer.