Chapter 8(motel)
"The Scavengers of the Faith", the humble gang of House Cawdor dog hunters who had promised to defeat the Kittyhawks, walked through the underhive ash drifts towards the Tinkerstain motel. But this time they had a little bit of help.
For days The Scavengers of the Faith had been touring every nearby Cawdor settlement in walking distance in the underhive, telling every (moderate) Cawdor man they could find that they were raising an army to "protect THEE Tabitha Tinkerstain herself", followed by solemn refusals to give the exact details to protect Tabitha from harm, merely hinting that some Escher gang was planning to do something bad to her, as well as the very very vague notion that Tabitha herself might be… Grateful, to any men who helped see off these Escher. The results were almost embarrassing…
Behind the Scavengers of the Faith marched *every* (moderate and law abiding) Cawdor gang they had met, (ALL OF THEM), as well as literally *thousands* of civilian men and young teenage civilian juves armed with whatever they could scavenge or "borrow" from the surrounding settlements! They had over ten hulking *sanctioned* mutant "stig-shamblers" who carried mutant midget "jockeys" and monstrous twin linked heavy stubber machine guns on their misshapen backs, (the really useful mutants could be given an official dispensation for the sin of mutation by the House Cawdor religious leaders so that they could be used in battle as shock troopers), as well as even stranger things pressed into service to horrify their enemies.
There must be easily ten thousand men (and man-adjacent things), possibly more, an absolutely vast horde, and almost every single one of them not so secretly believed that Tabitha was in fact the woman they wanted (and were Emperor-destined) to marry, (even the hulking mutant stig-shamblers thought they had a decent shot)!
House Cawdor might not have a lot of money. They might not have much technology or good equipment. But one thing that House Cawdor did have in absurd abundance was a LOT of people. House Cawdor was easily the most populous house on Necromunda, numbering more people than some two other houses combined. They were the reeking stinking poverty stricken poor people who formed the very base and foundation of the pyramid shaped economy of Necromunda, the wretched proles who did all the hardest dirtiest shittiest work, but got paid the least in return. This was the bottomless labor pool of trash scavengers whose cruel exploitation ran the majority of the critical recycling economy of Necromunda.
Nobody knew exactly how many people there were in house Cawdor, for most births went unrecorded. But from the best estimates of the corpse grinder guilds who processed the dead bodies of the planet into corpse starch, the house numbered *at least* half a trillion House Cawdor people alive at any one time. They were a swarm, they were a stinking rag clad multitude, constantly breeding as many starving humans as the planet had the food to (almost) support. When you kicked over *this* hornets nest, a LOT of hornets came out to sting you.
Tabitha Tinkerstain was the darling of house Cawdor, (at least in the local areas close enough to have heard of her), the most beautiful and desirable eligible Cawdor woman in the area, with a squeaky clean reputation of unimpeachable integrity. This woman with a little halo over her head most importantly of all had *tits*, HUGE tits, the biggest pair of tits any Cawdor had ever seen on a Cawdor woman! Cawdor men who had seen them sometimes lay awake at night daydreaming about the sheer *thicc* of these mighty jiggle organs, and men who had merely had them only described to them dreamed of going on pilgrimages to see such majestic magnificent things!
Single Cawdor men for miles around wanted their wedding ring on Tabitha's finger, and Tabitha's vagina on their dick. Bathtubs could be filled with the collective semen masturbated over the thought of her, and books could be filled with all the collective penance confessions for said masturbation afterwards.
Unmarried Cawdor men WANTED this girl, they wanted her *bad*. Tabitha "Double D" Tinkerstain was an (unwitting and unwilling) House Cawdor celebrity sex symbol, the beautiful beautiful beautiful girl with the absolutely giant chest. Her hand in marriage (and her hymen) was the most greatly desired thing to a multitude of single men in her House Cawdor.
And if some one starts bothering and *threatening* this girl in some way, and if there was any hint that she might *reward* a hero with her grateful affections, the swarm of Cawdor men who could be generated was impressive to say the least!
The ground trembled with the march of ten thousand pairs of feet, passing travellers from other houses turned tail and fled. Even the underhive vermin and monsters fled out of their burrows in the ash and scuttled away lest they be crushed, (including even a burrowing gigantic female spider the size of a small bus, who erupted from the ash and scuttled away in terror from this huge army!). There was nothing quite so terrifying in the underhive as ten thousand armed men on the march.
Accompanying the faithful army of House Cawdor were devotional servitors with sound pipes built into their backs, blasting out the incredibly instrumental uplifting daemon slaying death metal doom hymn "The Only Thing They Fear Is You Emperor!" with deafening volume, whipping the faithful up into a devotional frenzy. Ten thousand voices joined in songs of righteous crusade, the sheer sound sending yet more monstrous horrors retreating away in fright. Even the biggest spiders could not stand their ground against this army.
The army was clad mostly in rags, but with some allied gangers wearing armour in the form of gutter-forged cloaks and bullet holed reclaimed flak armour, providing a (slightly) armoured core of troops among the rag clad rabble.
The weapons were… Interesting, and varied enormously in quality and type, with the most common firearms being rusty stub revolvers and reclaimed auto-pistols that seemed to be made almost entirely out of rust. Many civilian juves simply held *toy* guns made of pipe and scrap to fool the enemy into thinking them armed, and more still had only rusty knives or metal clubs made from rusty pipes. Many of the adult civilians carried crude homemade blunderbusses loaded with crude gunpowder charges and shot made from rusty screws and broken glass, promising a face full of agony for any unfortunates unlucky enough to be shot by them. Still others carried scrap metal bolt action rifles, or rubber band powered dart guns that fired crude darts smeared with home brewed bacterial filth so that the tiniest prick was absolutely horrifying.
But some of the gangers carried much more diverse and formidable, (if rusty and cheap), weaponry. Many carried rust pitted rapid fire reclaimed auto guns that were properly military grade, (if prone to jamming horribly from their condition), that could fire over 70 rounds per minute. Others carried even more rapid fire reclaimed auto pistols that could fire *hundreds* of rounds per minute, (again prone to jamming horribly). Some gangers carried old but serviceable hunting long rifles with sniper scopes, and others carried crude metal crossbows that fired crossbow bolts that were basically just scrap metal coated finned dynamite sticks with detonation primer caps at their heads. (You did NOT want to get hit by one of these dynamite bolts, there wouldn't be much left of you afterwards.)
Even more disturbing were squadrons of highly experienced trained-rat handlers who carried huge cages full of the feared and infamous "bomb delivery" rats, small rodents trained to "deliver" lit sticks of shrapnel wrapped dynamite to between the feet of enemy gangers in a nightmarish fashion. Huge swarms of tiny rats galloping towards you holding dynamite and frag grenades could scare the shit out of even the most courageous enemy gangers, they were hard to shoot before they were dangerously close, and many a gang of even mighty House Goliath gangers had fled for their lives when the bomb delivery rats were unleashed.
It was impossible to see every gun clearly in a ten thousand strong army, so that even the most unconvincing toys looked like real guns from afar to the gaze of the terrified. Suffice to say that other gangs did NOT want to be anywhere near this army, and would not willingly get close enough to see the guns clearly. (If they did get that close then the army could simply beat them all to death in close combat anyway, even without their guns.)
With servitor hymns blasting at atomic bomb volumes, the army entered the hive dome containing the motel to find multitudes fleeing inside the motel gates in a panic. The motel battlements were packed with people holding weapons, you could see the fear and the panic.
The army paused to regroup right at the edge of the hive dome, waiting for all the stragglers. Runners with different coloured burning flares on the ends of long metal poles ran out ahead to set chosen positions to guide the different parts of the army. The army then set the devotional servitors to play a new triumphant death metal devotional hymn at maximum volume, and approached the terrified motel like righteous heroes marching to victory.
As they marched, some men and boys started chanting words to the effect of "Escher scum!" and "Escher gang we are coming for you"…
***…
On the walls in yonder motel, the gangers of the Electric Tigresses gang did look upon the huge army of the faithful that doth chant words of wrath against the House of Escher, and lo did every Escher female anus clench, and lo in some did a teeny tiny little bit of poo come out, for their doom had surely come.
Pale of face and aghast did they gaze upon the faithful. The vast size of the rag clad horde most did scare them. The sacred heavenly music of atomic volume Redemptionist death metal did abuse and assault their ear drums. The march of over ten thousand faithful feet did shake the very ground with crashing trembles.
The mighty castle gates of the motel were triple barred and locked, and lo were the Electric Tigresses trapped like rats in a cage, unable to escape.
"The Escher will PAY!" The multitudinous righteous congregation did loudly howl, and lo did a bit more poo come out.
Quaking with fear did all others in the motel look upon the Electric Tigresses with fear and hatred, imagining them to be the cause of this calamity, and but fear of plasma did stay their hands from pointing their weapons at these women of Escher.
Lo and behold the army of the righteous did take their positions before the castle walls, and all within paled before their might and multitude, with every anus set a'clench and every face aghast.
The army did pause, and nine among their number did approach the gates with white flags of truce. Audibly did the trapped gasp with relief at these ragged flags of white.
The nine heroes did gaze up at the teeming battlements, waving their flags of white, and their leader doth speaketh.
"Arrogant Escher. In the past we were not strong enough to face you, but now we are ten thousand strong. Shall you now come out of those walls and face us in the field of battle?"
("You must be fucking joking!" An Electric Tigress did sayeth, though the faithful could not be sure one Escher gang from another on the obscured battlements.)
"Then, *weakling*, you will immediately cease to bother Tabitha Tinkerstain and her sisters." The righteous figure proclaimed in triumph.
("Bothered Tabitha? Oh you don't mean THAT do you? That was just a joke, honest!")
"A 'joke' you say!?"
("Yeah it was just a joke. We didn't honestly think you would *mind* us telling Tabitha that you Cawdor boys have big penises.")
And lo a murmur did stir amongst the army of the faithful.
"What are you talking about?" The leader of the faithful doth ask in most great perplexity.
("Well Tabitha is a complete virgin who has never seen a dick before, and she is thinking about finding a husband or something and wanted to know what dicks are like and how big they are…")
The army of the faithful did fall into a deathly silence at these words, every ear did turn to hear more clearly these words about Tabitha the fair seeking a husband, one could hear a pin drop in the hush.
("As a joke, we lied and said that you Cawdor boys have big dicks, but we can tell her the truth that they really aren't big…")
Explosive protests did erupt from the ranks of the righteous, and lo many a man and boy did defend their size!
"You mean that they AREN'T that big!" A woman most beautiful in Cawdor garb did exclaim from the walls, lo none other than the radiant Tabitha herself!
The righteous did gaze upon this fairest woman of Cawdor with masked faces aghast and did erupt with protests most forceful reassuring her of their mighty size. Some of the faithful heroes even went so far as to basely expose themselves to prove their worth.
The fairest Tabitha did look upon a forest exposed to her with eyes wide and face crimson, mouth open aghast. Other Tinkerstain sisters fair did also look at the forest revealed with faces enflamed with blush.
"Oh Golden Throne, those aren't that big at all! How dare you women lie to me like that!" Fair Tabitha did shout with embarrassment!
Lament and woe did erupt from the faithful who had exposed themselves, their beautiful future wife judged them small!
("You Cawdor boys seriously have only yourselves to blame, we were doing you a solid with our harmless fib.")
"We didn't come here to fight about THIS sort of thing!" The leader of the righteous army did protest.
("Well why are you here then?")
"You Kittyhawks know damn well why we are here!"
("Oh thank fuck for that! We *aren't* the Kittyhawks at all, we HATE those bitches! We're the Electric Tigresses!")
"Well where are the Kittyhawks then?"
("Those cowards fled. But if you find them please tell us so we can help you fight them, those evil bitches used chemicals to make giant spiders RAPE us a few days ago!")
The army of the faithful lo did gasp at this wretched tale of wickedness!
"Please help us find them then, they are…"
"Wait wait wait. Wait just a second. Before you all go committing murder in the underhive, what about you bring all the evidence of wrongdoing to us guilders. We can then do this legally by the books and outlaw the gang and put a bounty on them." One very fat man on the walls doth spake.
"We are sworn to secrecy about what the Kittyhawks did, to protect the reputations of many good innocent people caught up in their web. We do not intend to use lethal violence, merely to answer their challenge to defeat them in a fight to make them stop their actions." The leader of the righteous doth proclaim.
"Look, um, massive angry lynch mob, I don't want to press any charges against you, (I'm honestly shitting myself here), please just do whatever you are going to do either peacefully and law abidingly, or at the very least don't do it in front of me or other members of the innocent public. The Kittyhawks are not here, they left days ago and no one has seen them. I am happy to send a vox message to the rest of the guild to ask if they have been seen, I'm not your enemy." The stout guilder did most courageously proclaim.
The army of the faithful heroes were placated by these words, and lo did they lower their weapons and smile with missing teeth.
"Very well. We will join causes in the search for the Kittyhawks. In the meantime, please open the gates, we are warm friends of the Tinkerstain family and we are here solely to protect the family from harm. We could use some trade and food and water." The leader of the righteous army doth spake.
"I will let you in but I don't want you boys exposing yourselves to my daughters again! If I see so much as a blush on my daughters faces I will have the culprit thrown out!" The father of the radiant daughters did proclaim with warning tone.
The faithful who had so humiliated themselves prior did study the view of their own feet tops most diligently with shame, and lo did murmur agreements to this fatherly rebuke.
And lo the gates did open and the confrontation end.
***…
"Tab-fa, beaut-ful Tab-fa." A huge hulking ugly mutant stig-shambler growled huskily with fond longing.
The exquisitely beautiful giant breasted young Cawdor woman froze, trembling at the sight of the giant brute. She was completely covered head to toe with stitched white and grey clean rags, with only her beautifully soft smooth pale hands and her equally soft and smooth and beautiful mouth and chin bare, with holes revealing her blue-grey eyes. But despite this excessive conservative covering she had a figure so extreme in sex appeal that nothing could hide her obvious beauty. Her chest was swollen wonderfully through her rags, so big that the clothing stretched taught to cling wonderfully to her hourglass shaped body, just sublime.
"You can look at our future wife but don't touch her." The tiny mutant midget 'jockey' on the stig-shambler's back instructed his mighty hulking steed.
"Future wife?! Look I really haven't decided yet on who my husband will be, please don't touch me." The beautiful Tabitha said with fearful politeness.
"Yes, don't touch her and don't try to force her to be your wife, (she's actually *my* future wife)." Many other rag clad stinking Cawdor men in the crowded restaurant said chivalrously.
"My daughter Tabitha is not going to be *anybodies* wife without MY consent on the matter! You are going to be *perfect* gentlemen towards her if you want my consent to wed her! Do I make myself clear?!" The middle aged father Nebet Tinkerstain said sternly, hobbling over angrily to stand between Tabitha and the stig-shambler fearlessly.
The crowd of Cawdor men in the restaurant cowed before the physically unimpressive father in submissive fear, even the mighty stig-shambler backed slightly away in fear. Nebet Tinkerstain was Tabitha's *father*, and in House Cawdor that made him the gate keeper who got to decide if a man could wed his beautiful daughter. At a word he could withhold his blessing to any man who disrespected him, and Tabitha would obey and spurn said man forever!
The restaurant echoed with agreements to be perfect gentlemen towards Tabitha and her sisters, under the stern gaze of the angry father.
At his table Word-Keeper Caleb Bonetorch, gang leader of the original dog hunting gang the Scavengers of the Faith, and de facto leader of the entire army, sat with his eight other original gang members, watching Tabitha protectively. Around him sat the most powerful Word-Keeper gang lords of the gangs he had rallied to his cause, all of them looking at him respectfully. Caleb and his original gangers alone among the Cawdor knew the truth about "Poverta" trying to deflower the Tinkerstain sisters, and this secret gave them the position of power they now enjoyed.
Tabitha approached his table holding plates with sparse small meals of cold smoked spider meat, (all these humble men could afford), and she respectfully placed these plates before them, leaning forward so close that she brushed against Caleb causing a rush of pleasure from this slight small touch and the gentle smell of her fragrance.
Tabitha paused in leaving, and looked at Caleb fearfully, knowing that he was the man who had raised this army just to protect her reputation. Her face looked at him thoughtfully.
"You didn't have to do this. It's sweet of you to go to such lengths to protect me, but you didn't need to do this." Tabitha said very quietly so that only the table could hear her.
"I don't expect you to marry me in return, I know that I'm a lowly man that you are unlikely to look at twice. I didn't do this to woo you or impress you, only to protect you and your sisters. None of these men even know what we speak of, my gang and I have kept our silence and will take it to the grave. I just want to keep you safe." Caleb informed her sincerely.
Tabitha gasped with relief at this assurance of secrecy and even began to silently cry tears of gratitude in her beautiful eyes.
"Thank you! Thank you so much! I've been worried sick about it, about everything. You have no idea how much worry we have fretted. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!" Tabitha sobbed softly with emotion.
The other allied gang leaders were eyeing this exchange curiously, clearly trying to catch hints of the secret trouble.
"We will find the Kittyhawks and make them leave you alone." Caleb reassured Tabitha soothingly.
"That, I, one of my sisters will be upset if you succeed. I, I wish I could speak to you in private. The situation has grown complicated." Tabitha sniffed carefully.
"You mean that she succeeded?!" Caleb whispered in horror.
"Not in the way you imagine, none of us have been touched at all so far, not even touched on the hand… I am desperate to speak in private about this, this is not a good place to talk about such things." Tabitha whispered.
"I highly doubt that your father would allow that. I just want to know that you and your sisters are safe." Caleb replied regretfully.
"We are safe… You are the kindest person I have ever met… I'm sorry that I didn't accept your flowers that night… You would raise an army just to protect me…" Tabitha whispered sounding deeply touched.
Caleb was astonished by these words and looked at Tabitha in shock.
"I would do anything to protect you and your family Tabitha. I just want to keep you safe." Caleb replied tenderly.
Tabitha blinked away fresh tears and nodded emotionally.
Nebet Tinkerstain was now approaching suspiciously, noticing that Tabitha had overstayed her time at this table.
"You have overstayed… You are crying daughter?" Nebet said in concern.
"Happy tears father, the happiest of tears. This man is so sweet and kind, and so humble." Tabitha reassured with a forced show of happiness.
"I… Wait a minute, I recognise you! You are the leader of the dog hunters who supply our kitchen with meat. Now you are the leader of this great army?! What happened and how and why?" Nebet asked in shock.
"I am, we are, protecting your family from harm." Caleb replied carefully.
"But what is this harm and why does it need an army?" Nebet asked.
"I… I can't tell you, to protect the reputation of your daughters I can't tell you. Something happened to them, they were not physically touched, but something happened to some of your daughters, they were… Exposed to something that could potentially tarnish their reputations if it ever got out. They were the innocent victims of this incident, but to merely be the victims would still tarnish their reputations. I raised this army to see off those who did this to your daughters." Caleb whispered very carefully.
Tabitha froze at these words in horror, and Nebet looked between Caleb and Tabitha in alarmed fatherly concern and pity.
"I beg of you not to press her for details. She is ashamed of what happened, deeply ashamed, and she will not speak of the incident." Caleb whispered adamantly.
"The Kittyhawks did something to my daughters?" Nebet asked very quietly.
"I witnessed the incident, my whole gang witnessed it. When young Nathaniel here tried to stop the incident he was struck in the testicles by the Escher so hard that he might have lost one of his testicles. We were not strong enough to stop what happened. The very next day I sought an audience with the Kittyhawk gang queen to beg her to make right what had been done. She responded by throwing me off a balcony and telling me to make my gang strong enough to defeat her gang in battle if I wanted this request. So I raised an army and I will face her gang if I find them." Caleb said very carefully.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Nebet asked Tabitha in fatherly love and concern.
"I couldn't, I just couldn't. You would never look at me the same way again. It was just too embarrassing, I can't speak of it." Tabitha said quietly, and started to cry.
"An army of men know but not me?" Nebet asked, going over to hug his crying daughter.
The other gang leaders all shook their heads, promising that they didn't know the details either.
"No one in Cawdor knows but us nine and your daughters, we will take the secret to the grave and have told no one. We gave the vaguest of hints to raise this army, we have told you far more than what our army of allies know on this matter. For the sake of your daughters this has to remain." Caleb assured Nebet.
"Without the details my mind imagines the most terrible things. What did those wicked Escher do to you… It didn't involve *spiders* did it!?" Nebet exclaimed in a whisper.
Tabitha shook her head but refused to speak.
"When we find the Kittyhawks this will all be set right, they will be beaten to a pulp with ten thousand fists and this entire incident will be buried forever." Caleb promised.
"You did all of this just to protect my daughters?" Nebet asked in wonder.
Caleb nodded humbly.
"I suppose that you want to marry Tabitha in payment?" Nebet asked with a sigh.
"Sir, that is entirely up to Tabitha to decide. I do not expect and certainly don't demand any such reward for protecting your family." Caleb replied humbly.
"You are a Cawdor man who is not interested for once?", Nebet said in surprise.
"Well, I would marry her in a heartbeat if that was her wish, but I won't be slighted if she has other plans." Caleb humbly admitted.
Nebet gave Word-Keeper Caleb Bonetorch a long thoughtful look.
"You… (Sigh), You and your eight other gang members now have my blessing to court any of my daughters if they are willing to accept you. The rest of your army, I am willing to *consider* as suitable for my daughters if they behave like gentlemen. Tabitha I won't force you, but I think that you should give serious thought to choosing the men who would fight, lose a testicle and risk their lives just to protect your reputation. Such men are worthy of you." Nebet said those incredible words!
"I, er, yes father. I am willing…" Tabitha replied shyly with a blush, briefly looking at Caleb and then looking away shyly!
Every man in earshot gasped at these words and gazed at Tabitha with hungry smiles, all eagerly imagining themselves as the husband of Tabitha or one of her sisters. Tabitha for a fraction of a second looked at Caleb again shyly before looking away again!
Tabitha got shy and fled the room, pausing at the kitchen door to look at *Caleb* one last time before escaping into the kitchen! Tabitha Tinkerstain herself was interested in him!
Caleb could scarcely believe it!
***…