5. Of Blood and Tears
Disclaimer: I don't own anything familiar.
A/N: This is infinitely darker than the other one shots, so be prepared.
Warning, self inflicted injury, suicide attempt and blood.
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Everyone has at least one dark secret. Sometimes they're big, and sometimes they're small. People who have secrets keep them for one reason or another. Some do it to feel better about themselves; they know something others don't. Some because they're embarrassed or don't want sympathy. And others, they keep their secrets because they believe that it isn't worth other people knowing.
Now, that last type of secrets can range from the Principal getting a new car, to something that is the complete opposite. Like knowing someone is doing drugs or in some cases…have attempted suicide.
Kurt Wagner was one of those people.
He had a drastically different childhood compared to the rest of the X Men. He did not have the social skills as everyone else; he had not grown up playing with other children without a care in the world. In fact, he'd been taught of the cruelties of the world at a very young age.
He had always known he was different, and when those differences got the better of him, he fell into bouts of depression that were almost terrifying.
No one, not even the Professor, knew about those times. He kept those thoughts and memories locked away in his mind where no one could reach them…and no one ever would.
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Kitty hummed to herself as she strolled around the hallways of the mansion, she both loved and hated this time of night. When the Sun had set and everything was silent. The clock chimed midnight and no one stirred.
She loved it because she could have time to herself, which at Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters, was hard to come by; but she hated it, because sometimes, her mind would wander to more terrifying things and she would find herself scared of her own shadow, that was usually how she found herself in Kurt's room. He never seemed to mind, always putting her in a better mood.
Tonight though, she wasn't going to Kurt's room because she was scared, it was because he had been acting strangely all day. Sure he had joked around and been his usually goofy self, but when he thought no one was looking he had gotten a dark expression on his face and started rubbing his wrists.
She didn't like the looks of it and so, that was how she found herself phasing into Kurt's room at 12:05 in morning.
She looked around the dark room to see the bed untouched and the balcony doors wide open, but no Fuzzy Elf in sight.
Just when she was about to open her eyes, a sound caught her ear: heartbroken sobs.
Worried, she followed the sound to Kurt's bathroom; she phased her head in and gasped at what she saw.
Kurt was slumped against the wall, his hands cradled to his chest, sobs wracking his slim figure, but that wasn't what alarmed her.
The blood that decorated the white tiles contrasted dramatically, but that wasn't all, the knife that had caused the blood leaking wounds had been dropped nearby and then, of course, there was the crimson liquid that coated the fur on Kurt's wrists and clung to the fur on his chest from where his wrists had touched.
"Oh God, Kurt."
Kitty phased the rest of the way through and, not caring about the blood that would inevitably stain her pajamas, wrapped her arms around his shaking form.
He leaned into her as she stroked his hair. "Oh Kurt, why would you do this to yourself?" he shook his head.
"I don't know…" he said softly.
Kitty was surprised; she didn't think he would've heard her. "Okay, we need to get you cleaned up, c'mon."
With Kurt doing some of the work, she took him into his bedroom and sat him in the thickly cushioned chair near the balcony. He immediately curled back into a ball and Kitty felt her heart wrench at the sight.
Rushing back into the bathroom, she found the First Aid Kit that was located in everyone's room before going back to Kurt's side.
Digging through the white box, she found gauze and disinfectant.
Using tenderness and courage she hadn't known she possessed, she carefully eased Kurt's hands away from his body and looked to his wrists where two gashes resided in the skin, one on each wrist, they still bled sluggishly.
Normally, Kitty would have freaked at the sight of so much blood, but this was her best friend and he needed her help. So, instead of fainting or being sick, she, as calmly as anyone could be in this situation, went to the bathroom and wet a towel which she brought back out and began to clean off the cuts.
Kurt's cries had quieted ad now only light tears fell from his startling gold eyes. He absolutely refused to even look anywhere but down, avoiding looking at Kitty.
Once she finished cleaning the gashes, she began applying the disinfectant, using her fingers as it would be easier.
Being as gentle as she could she started coating the wounds, but froze when she felt something on the skin of his wrist.
Scars, crisscrossing each other and too many to count layered his skin.
She felt her mind go numb but took a steadying breath and carried on.
Once his wrists were bandaged, Kitty paused, before running her fingers over Kurt's wrists again, feeling the scars that went all the way up to his elbow.
She swallowed, "Kurt, how could you do this to yourself?"
"I don't." was his quiet reply."
"Don't play dumb with me Kurt, I'm-"
"Zat's not vhat I mean." She stopped, letting him speak. "I'm not denying vhat I've done to myself, but not all those scars are self inflicted. Ozzer people have hurt me too, Keety…for as long as I can remember, people have been scared of me, even going to such lengths as to attack me or steal me avay from my home in ze middle of ze night and torture me until daybreak."
His voice became quiet. "I don't know vhy I do it, I just…" he trailed off unable to continue.
Kitty placed a hand on his shoulder, "I thought-everyone thinks you don't care."
"Ja, vell, you're vrong!" He snapped.
She sighed and sat beside him, causing them both to be squished in the chair. "I know that now, but please Kurt, don't do this again."
He sighed, "Vhy? No one cares." "
I care." She said with conviction. "C'mon Kurt, you're my best friend…really." She added at his doubtful expression.
He sighed, "Doesn't matter."
Kitty grew angry, and in one second of rash decision making, a long standing crush, worry of losing her best friend, lack of sleep and a whole shit load of other things, she whipped herself around so she was straddling him and when he looked up in shock, kissed him passionately.
Kurt's eyes widened before he relaxed and sunk into the kiss, his arms wrapping around Kitty's waist as hers balanced herself on either side of the chair. When they pulled apart they were both panting and Kurt was staring at her with shock. "Vas?"
She felt her cheeks heat up but willed herself to look into his eyes, chanting over and over in her head ~He kissed you back, he kissed you back, he kissed you back…~
"It does matter." She said softly.
He let a small smile grace his lips, "You don't know how much I needed to hear zat." She smiled giving him a light kiss
~I'm crazy! ~
"I think I do." He smiled and she was glad to see it was a real smile.
He sighed and grinned inwardly when he noticed his arms were still wrapped around her waist. He tugged her closer and nuzzled her neck, causing her to let out a giggle.
"Thank you Katzchen."
She hugged him back, "Just don't do it again."
He chuckled, "Trust me; I have no intention of ever doing so." She nodded.
"So, you doing anything tomorrow evening?"
She looked at him in curiosity, "No."
"Well zen, how do you feel to pizza and a movie, on me?"
She smiled brightly, "Depends, are we going as friends or is this a date?"
He grinned, "Mm, I was hoping a date." She grinned and kissed him again.
"Done."
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A/N: What do you think? Please review, I know you're reading.