Author's Notes: Thanks again to my dedicated reviewers! And for jhalya, it's funny you should mention Sesshoumaru, because our favorite older half-brother has demanded an appearance…

Absence

Chapter Seven

Kohaku left, and his absence cast a gloom over Sango and Miroku's hut for days. Shippou deserted the happy couple to spend long hours perched on Inuyasha's shoulder in uncharacteristic silence. The entire village, even, sensed the loss of his presence, the quiet, hard-working boy with the shadowed past who tried so hard to learn the lost art of enjoying life.

Inuyasha kept up his end of the bargain, curbing his roaming to stick close to the village. There were always chores to be done, fields to be watered, end-of-season crops to be harvested, tools to be repaired…a hundred thousand mundane tasks to be completed to kill the time, but never kill the thinking. He ate dinner with Sango and Miroku, wandered the village streets and watched the families move about their daily lives, and wondered what he was doing, and why.

It had only been one week, and already Inuyasha was sick of spending so much time in the village. The last time he'd lived around others was…before his mother had died, an entire lifetime ago. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he couldn't help the feeling that they were just watching him, waiting for him to turn. Biding their time until they turned, just like the villagers had once, all that time ago.

Ironic, wasn't it, that the one person who most understand was the one who had asked him to stay so he could leave.

The sound of soft footsteps in the dirt below him had Inuyasha's ear twitch to pinpoint the noise. Even his ears had been a source of mockery and pain, the mark of a half-demon, a monster. Now he hardly noticed them.

As he had with her brother, Inuyasha didn't look down from where he surveyed the forest atop Kaede's empty hut. Miroku had gone with the old priestess to a neighboring village to treat the villagers there struck with heat sickness, taking Shippou with them.

"Inuyasha."

It wasn't a question, because it was obvious who he was. It wasn't to announce her presence, because both knew he was well aware of her approach. It was a neutral greeting, to break the silence and initiate conversation.

Inuyasha unfolded his body, leaping lightly down so he was level with Sango. Her long hair was swept back from her face with a simple cloth band, and she looked more relaxed now than ever before. Sango had adjusted easily to the patterns of the village, settling in to married life, and she practically glowed with contentment.

Inuyasha wasn't sure if he envied her that. He wasn't sure what he'd do if he were 'content'.

He realized he'd been staring blankly at nothing and broke the awkward silence. "Uh…What?"

He could have been less blunt. He could have also worn ribbons and bows in his hair that morning.

Sango didn't seem off-put by his usual lack of manners. "Well, first, I just wanted to say thank you. I haven't yet, really."

Gratitude bothered him. He didn't like people feeling beholden to him almost as much as he disliked feeling like he owed others something. "What for?"

Sango could remember another time she'd tried to express her gratitude, the words she'd been unable to voice then. She could also remember the horrified embarrassment on both Inuyasha's and Kagome's faces at the private moment she'd interrupted with her untimely attempt to say thank you.

Remembering, she smiled. "For staying with me. With us. And for everything you did to keep Kohaku and me together. When I would have…killed him…when you trusted him. Just…thank you, for everything."

He'd done nothing that he needed to be thanked for. "Keh." If the heat on his face translated into a visible blush, he'd have to kill something. "You're happy, right? So just leave it alone."

She laughed, softly. "I only wish I could, Inuyasha. Kohaku told me I didn't have to worry about you leaving. I'm assuming this coincides with your sudden attachment to village life. I'd like to say I'm sorry he made you feel beholden to hang around here, but…" She trailed off, eyed Inuyasha speculatively before finishing her thought. "…but selfishly, I'm glad you haven't left, too."

Ane-ue wouldn't be able to stand losing us both.

Inuyasha tried to shrug it off, but Sango cut him off. "I know it must be hard for you, hanging around the village all the time. I don't want you to feel like you're trapped, you know. If you have to go off…" She looked out over the fields, squinting as if the sun hurt her eyes. "It'd be nice if you let us know you'd be coming back, that's all," she finished quietly.

Uncomfortable now, Inuyasha snorted again. "Keh." He noticed she was holding a small bouquet of flowers in one hand and, grateful for even that small opportunity, changed the subject. "You get flowers from someone or something? Miroku's going to be jealous." He didn't understand human customs too well, but he was under the general impression females were the recipients of flowers and the like.

Sango looked suddenly pensive. "Well…anyway, here's the second thing. I thought I should go pay my respects at Kikyou's grave. Maybe you'd like to come with me?"

Kikyou's grave. Inuyasha hadn't been to visit the grave since they'd defeated Naraku. There was technically nothing left, her bones have disappeared when she'd died the second time, but Kaede had insisted on holding a re-internment ceremony. "To give the spirit a resting place," was all she'd say.

"Sure." The thought didn't weird him out, as he'd expected it would. He'd never understood the human rituals bestowed on the deceased and had never particularly wanted to be included in these specific activities. But the thought didn't hurt, either, and Inuyasha could accept that. He fell into step beside Sango as they made their way to the small, hilltop shrine.

"Kohaku told me he liked being with you." Sango was first to break the silence. "When we went back to our old village, he said that you make him feel like it's okay he survived."

Inuyasha didn't know what to do with one human boy's emotions. "He's a good kid. Even before, when he was being controlled by Naraku, he wasn't fully gone. He'll come back someday, you know."

Sango's smile was sad. "He'll find his own place in the world. He has nothing here to hold him back."

"He has you, and Miroku."

Shrugging, Sango glanced over at Inuyasha. Miroku had related parts of a conversation he'd had with Inuyasha by the river at the beginning of the season. It was as much an opening as she'd ever get.

Casually, she replied, "I don't know. It's not like he needs to make his roots here. If, someday, he finds a nice girl from somewhere else and wants to make a life with her there…I'd rather him be happy and make his own life than feel like he's bound to me, just because we're siblings."

"Love over family?" Inuyasha glanced up the long flight of stairs. It would be easier for him to just leap up, but Sango was already climbing them step by step. He shot her a look from the corner of his eye. "I'm not stupid, Sango. I know Miroku tells you stuff about what we talk about."

She had the grace to blush. "It's not like I want to pry. And I don't want you to think he tells me all your secrets or anything."

Inuyasha's laugh was amused, his answer only half in jest. "I know better than to trust Miroku with my secrets." He paused, then added more seriously, "If you want to make me feel worse about sending Kagome back…" He fought the sudden tightness in his throat. "You don't have to."

"That's not what I'm trying to do." The reproach in her voice was enough to have Inuyasha hunch his shoulders. "I'd never do that. I'm just saying, between Kohaku and me, that's what I'd like him to choose. But our situations are different, right? I'm the family, from the inside looking out. For you and Kagome-chan…you're the outside, looking in." She shrugged as they crested the top of the hill.

Glancing over, she reached out to touch his shoulder softly. "Inuyasha." He looked over, met her steady gaze. "For what it's worth? I think you did the best you could."

She was the only one who'd said that to him. After the initial wave of recrimination, Shippou had forgiven Inuyasha for his decision, but they never spoke about how the kitsune actually felt. Miroku had accepted Inuyasha's choice, but he'd never once said if he thought that choice had been the 'right' one. Only Kaede seemed to think Kagome's absence was not only normal, but inevitable.

And for some reason, that hurt almost as much as the ache of missing Kagome herself.

But Sango thought he'd done the best he could. That still didn't mean she agreed with his choice or thought he shouldn't have tried harder to bring her back. But she didn't blame him, she didn't tell him he'd failed.

They stood side-by-side in front of Kikyou's grave, a stick of incense smoldering in the still heat, the flowers laid before the simple marker of her commemorative resting place. Sango had her eyes closed, hands together, head bowed. Her lips moved silently as she formed unknown words…thoughts to be sent to the other world. For his part, Inuyasha watched the smoke curl upwards, inhaled the sweet, scratchy scent of the sandalwood.

He had no idea what he'd say to Kikyou's far-off spirit. If they'd interred nothing at the site of her first burial, wouldn't she want to rest? If you were constantly talking at her—assuming the words could reach her—she was obviously not getting very much rest. And Kikyou, at least, deserved some rest.

Maybe it was just a cover, and he could admit that. Maybe he just didn't know what he'd say.

He'd had his chance to say everything he wanted to. And he had. They were stronger in the end than they had been fifty years ago, and, in a way, closer, too. But he'd said everything that had needed to be said then, under the stars with his friends at his back and Kikyou in his arms.

He'd said he was sorry. He'd said he'd loved her. And then he'd said good-bye.