Chapter 9: Missing…

Akihiko wrote for most of the night, yet again…he slept at his desk with his head immerse the piles of paperwork. He sniffed the papers and sat up. His eyes slowly focused on his last chapter of the Uke Trade-Off. He spent nearly forty days writing the stupid story with ten revisions of certain chapters, but he stared at the conclusion of the hellish game that cost his lover. He wrote:

I come to realize a deeper fear than I have expected by playing this game…I fell in love. My heart and soul was not prepared for this mess. I kept trying to stop the same patterns that my late lover made me fall into…but these men…each one had a reason to join my game and what they could lose. One couple ended, one couple is going to face the future with bright expectations, and the last…the last couple that affected me the most. I wish I knew what will happen to them. My feet bring me to the airport. Away from fear…away from pain…away from them…tears and shattering pain crumbled in my heart. I may look normal, but inside a war continued on…for I know my game was only a game. The players will live on their own individual paths as will I…but what will become of my game's sole purpose…to find true love with two bets: six million as a prize by trading your lover away; so can these men find love after this mess I presented to them?

I truly hope so…for I will wander alone. But I chose so, since my life is not so easily fixed with three couples. I made deep bonds and kissed deeply…I walk to my seat on the plane and see myself in the window. The mirror shows me…the villain with a broken heart…what will I do now?

I will just live on…what else can I do?

Akihiko stared at the chapter and sighed. He never wrote an ending like this…he felt like a writer at the beginning of his career; fearful of Aikawa's reaction and the fans…what will they say to a question for the conclusion of this story? Of course, he had plenty of fan mail due to Aikawa's sneak peak chapters on her fan site…over a million letters flooded onto Akihiko's mail box at Marukawa. Isaka asked him what to do with the massive load of letters since Akihiko did not look at every letter…he checked a few, but this mass…he kept and did look at a few letters.

A few dedicated fans told him the brilliance of this book and begged for the novel to be finished soon. But most fans surprised him by saying…they wanted more of his yaoi stories to follow this pattern. The fans were not mean by saying to change in this style of first person and having a deeper meaning for homosexuality…the fans liked the physiology and Gordan character so much…they even begged for a sequel.

He moaned and took out a cigarette. This was hard enough…a sequel? His little mind imagined 'Gordan' making another game for teen boys, but he ended it…like he imagined Goda leaving. Goda walking away, broken and confused, as he flew away somewhere away from Misaki and Akihiko…Akihiko could not write a sequel even if he tried…

Akihiko liked and hated the ending. His feelings were mixed, so he had an idea. Why not ask for a second opinion? He got up and went to the door while he lighted his cigarette. He exhaled and called, "Mio, can you come here?"

Mio usually was cooking by now…but the teen was not downstairs. Akihiko shrugged and looked down the hall. Mio could be sleeping in since it was Saturday, and the kid did have the day off. Akihiko went back to the computer and stared at the screen.

He was slowly getting a bad feeling…he also did not hear Mio's singing voice. The kid was nuts about singing, so he sang whenever he could. Mio sang while he cooked, cleaned, woke, and sometimes before he slept. Akihiko crushed his cigarette and called, "Mio, wake up! We need to talk!" He yelled loud enough in the still apartment…no response.

Akihiko felt his pulse race and his body stiffen. He raced to Mio's bedroom and yelled, "Mio?" His hand slammed the teen's door open as he gasped. Mio's room was clean but…no teenager was lying in the bed. A note lay on the pillow where Mio should have been…Akihiko gulped and took every step carefully. His eyes searched the room for blood or forced entry…nothing was out of the ordinary. He read the note:

Dear Akihiko,

I am sick and tired of your delaying, so I am going to do something! Please do not try to find me. I will return on Monday morning before classes start and call you then. I am going to find the missing link…

Until then,

Mio

Akihiko started to breathe faster as his hands went into his hair. Mio ran away…the kid was gone! Akihiko had no idea what to do first: call the police, call his mother, call Hiroki, try looking for Mio, call Mio's friends, or just stand there…he stared at the empty bed for a long time before he came to a decision. He grabbed the note and ran downstairs. His feet did not stop as he ran out the door and onto the street. He only had one person to help him with this issue…and he prayed that this person had a slight clue where Mio could have gone. Hiroki…he must know where Mio went! Akihiko kept running with his heart and feet dragging him on. He never felt this scared in his life…he needed to find Hiroki to help him to find Mio. He would do anything for that song bird. Mio was his little brother, no matter what, Akihiko had to find him and protect Mio…

He stopped and leaned on a lamp post as his body begged for breath. His mind slowly tried to make connections: Mio could be…running back to America! He could have gone to Adam's grave…back to their mother…but why was Akihiko so oblivious? Of course…he was writing like when…Misaki. Misaki gave him space as Mio did as well…but Mio never spoke much unless he needed to. Mio never complained or whined about the house work…he just did it with a song and smirk…Akihiko never had to worry…but now, his body shivered and his heart sank. Mio could be anywhere…and he had no clue where to begin…

"Akihiko? You look pale!" Hiroki said as he held Akihiko when they both fell to the ground.

Akihiko shivered and slowly turned his head to Hiroki. He looked at Hiroki's concerned face as he said, "Mio…have you seen him?"

Hiroki blinked and said, "no…not since the party fiasco. But why? What is going—"

"He ran away! Hiroki, I do not what to do! I am…" Akihiko said quickly as kept shivering. He kept having a feeling Mio went to America…back to pain, back to nostalgia, back to their mother, back…to maybe…commit suicide! Akihiko groaned and held Hiroki close.

Hiroki stiffened and saw the note. He grabbed it and read. His voice trembled when he said, "when…why…what…Mio…Akihiko…"

"Help me Hiroki…he is my little brother. I like the little kid…if anything happens to him…god, what will I say to my mother? I never felt so lost in my entire life!" Akihiko said as his shivering kept happening. The memories of the funeral and Mio's tears…would the teen really run back to a pain-stricken place….Akihiko was deeply afraid.

Hiroki held his friend and said, "let us go back inside…we need evidence to suggest any finding. Nowaki, take Akihiko…please. I will look for evidence." He gently removed himself from Akihiko and ran to the apartment.

Akihiko slowly looked up at the concerned Nowaki. His blue eyes were soft and friendly as he picked up Akihiko by using his body as a crutch with his strong arms…damn, he is strong…mental note, never get into a fight with this kid…They slowly walked to the house as Hiroki slowly examined each part of the house.

Nowaki gently set Akihiko on the couch and went to Hiroki. He said, "Give me a job, please. I will do anything."

Hiroki sighed and said, "look after Akihiko…I never seen him like this. He looks…like a ghost. Please, just stay with him. I want to check Mio's room closely."

Nowaki nodded and went to Akihiko. He looked over Akihiko closely and tried to calm him down with his smile. Akihiko just sat there staring at the floor as he tried to think what the 'missing link' could be…

Akihiko's mind was befuddled with Mio's songs, confessions, and his friends coming over…Mio never looked upset enough to want to commit suicide, but of course…people who commit suicide usually look normal until the moment they do…Akihiko moaned and hid his face into his hands. He shivered and tried to think…why would Mio do something so reckless? He could not find a reason except listen to his rapid beating heart and wait for Hiroki's explanation…but the apartment was still. Nowaki and Akihiko waited for Hiroki's verdict on the missing teen…the minutes turned into an hour when Hiroki finally came down and sat in front of Akihiko.

Hiroki said, "Mio…packed light. His belongings are unknown to me, but he did take the phone and a few clothes. As for food, he packed prepackaged snacks and other tidbits to keep himself full. As for money…did you stash some here?"

Akihiko moaned, "no…I keep my money at a bank." He raised his head and looked at Hiroki's concerned face.

Hiroki looked very worried as he continued, "did he mention where he got the money?"

Akihiko shook his head and said, "the kid had some nice gadgets…I expected my mother gave him some money."

Hiroki moaned and said, "Call your mother. She might know a clue or two on where to find him."

Akihiko held his shaking body and said, "I…can't…I cannot do it! Look at me!"

Nowaki said, "Let me…I want to help."

Hiroki said, "she does not know you…she might cut the call if—"

"Hiro-san please, both of you are no condition to call this woman in the states you two are in. Please let me do this, I can handle it." Nowaki said with a determined face.

Hiroki moaned and said, "Akihiko…tell Nowaki the number. He is right. We are emotional and will not help the matter on the phone."

Akihiko said the number as Nowaki went to the phone. Nowaki dialed and cleared his throat for the best English he could muster; his translation was rough but understandable.

Nowaki said, "Is this Usami residence? Sorry, Mrs. Allens. This is Kusama, Nowaki, a dear friend of Hiroki and Akihiko. I am sorry to inform you that your son is missing."

Akihiko watched as Nowaki listened and turned to the other waiting men. Nowaki continued, "Mio left us a note…" Hiroki ran over and gave the note to Nowaki as he read the note to Mrs. Allens. Nowaki waited as neither person said anything for a few minutes.

Nowaki's eyes enlarged and said, "Mrs. Allens, I hope you how serious this is…Mio is missing and…" He stiffened and repeated, "Mio is aphilanthropist…" His blues eyes connected with Akihiko's as Nowaki finished, "are you sure that Mio will be okay? This letter and his sudden disappearance…thank you. Good bye." Nowaki hung up and said, "philanthropist? Mio…is charitable?"

Akihiko stiffened as a light bulb glowed in his mind…maybe Mio is…he raced to his cell phone and called…Misaki.

He took a few deep breaths and heard Misaki say, "hello?"

Akihiko stiffened and slowly said, "Misaki…"

Misaki gasped and said, "what? Why are you…Usagi-san? You sound…what is it you want?"

Akihiko breathed for a few minutes and said, "Have you seen Mio?"

Misaki stalled and said, "a few days ago…at Unmei Café. He was dancing and—" Akihiko dropped the phone and dropped his body to the floor as he gagged. He covered his mouth and stared at the phone…his Goda phone…

Unmei Café was a new establishment in Tokyo, so naturally, Aikawa wanted to meet there and eat…that café…is where Akihiko met Goda for the first time…paradox…irony…Akihiko did not what to label it, but was the reason why…Mio was looking for Goda! Mio was…how? How did Mio find Goda?

Akihiko hung up and Misaki as he tried to call Goda. He listened to the dial tone and a bored voice saying, "Sorry, you have reached an unlisted number. Try the operator and call another number." He hung up and tried again…same dial tone and voice. His hands shook as he hung up and tried again. The same thing…except a new voice came on…this voice was Goda's.

Goda said, "Hello Akihiko."

Akihiko stiffened and stared at the floor. He said, "Goda…"

Hiroki and Nowaki stood close to each other as Akihiko sat more comfortably on the floor. Akihiko said, "Where is my little brother?"

Goda breathed deeply and said, "He is with me. Mio found me very quickly…he is a smart kid."

Akihiko snarled, "If there is a single mark on him, where are you? I want to pick up Mio and take him away from you."

Goda said, "I am sorry…that information will not be given to you. Mio told me that he does not want to return to Japan unless…" He sighed and continued, "Unless I return with him."

Akihiko stiffened and gulped. He slowly said, "Why…why does Mio…"

Goda gulped and said, "he told me that you have been having a hard time…broke up with Misaki…and…slightly…miss me?"

Akihiko closed his eyes and said, "send him back to me, now."

Goda said, "I cannot. He has a round-trip ticket…to come to me and back to Japan. But he also has…a second ticket to go to Japan. Akihiko, why…why did you give a teenager all that money?"

Akihiko opened his eyes and said, "I did not give Mio the money for the plane tickets…I never knew that he had all that money…are you serious? He really found you so quickly…how?"

Goda snickered and said, "sorry…that information is very confidential. But I must ask…do you want to see me again?"

Akihiko stopped breathing and stared at the floor again. He tried to sort his calming down with knowledge that Mio was not dead or captured…but the real reason could be that…he was glad to hear Goda's voice. He did not want to admit it…but he missed hearing Goda's voice. For almost two months, he had kept mixing images of Goda beside Misaki…the torture of not seeing both men took a toll on his mind and heart. He kept trying to separate Goda away from Misaki…but not matter how hard he tried, Goda was firmly in his mind….his red eyes and glorious lips…Akihiko could still taste the desire as fresh as kissing Goda that day…Akihiko moaned and said, "I…am not sure…"

Goda sighed and said, "Make a decision. I need to know if my presence will bother you. If yes, then I will come and drop off Mio at school. If no…I will come but only to talk. We need to talk about this and get these feelings out in the open."

Akihiko snarled, "Talk now! We have—"

"I am an 'in-person' kind of man. Make a final, binding decision. I am very good at disappearing…I can hide for the rest of my life, but I cannot deny a teenager chasing me with such a determined face." Goda said in a business-like tone.

"What did else Mio tell you?" Akihiko said as he stood and sat on the couch. He took out another cigarette and lighted it. He smoked silently as he waited for Goda to speak.

"I have been reading your teaser chapters for the Uke Trade-Off…Akihiko, I am in shock. You completely rewritten the story from the original ideal that you made the villain. But now…I am the main character and…a player of chess? What makes you think I am obsessed with chess?" Goda said with a laugh at the end of his question.

Akihiko exhaled and said, "you called me a rook, so I guessed you liked chess. Was I wrong?"

Goda snickered and said, "you have no idea what kind of man you are dealing with…I like chess, but…I called you rook for the simple fact that you are not king. The king in the chess game of Uke Trade-off was—"

"Misaki, what kind of fool do you think I am? You may have not mentioned it, but you were silently targeting my lover for your own…why did you make me such a valuable piece if you wanted to obtain Misaki for yourself."

"Akihiko, listen to yourself. I was after you, plain and simple, remember? You were my godson's last request, I wanted to destroy your relationship, and make you see homosexuality was not a book seller…being a homosexual hurts when the world hates, shuns, or destroys your hope for love. I wanted to teach you that and more. But steal your king? Originally, I only wanted to rip your heart out and teach your lover to run away with a new man…but I was wrong…on so many levels…" Goda said distantly.

Akihiko said, "You could have only went after me. But you destroyed two couples. Did your mission complete your ideal? Because…I wish I could hate you…"He did not want to finish that sentence. His final words for the statement were, I wish I could hate you but…I cannot.

Goda said, "stop wasting my time and tell me…do you want to see me or not?"

Akihiko said, "I…want my brother back, so it is inevitable that I will see you. Besides, I want you to have the first copy of the Uke Trade-Off before it hits the presses."

Goda gasped and said, "you…finished it?"

Akihiko said, "yes…I finished it last night."

Goda breathed deeply for a few minutes and said, "I will see you Monday night…is there any more threats, warnings, or anything you wish to say to me?"

Akihiko said, "I…don't know. See you later."

Goda snickered lightly and said, "Good day." The phone crackled with a disconnection as Akihiko looked at the phone. His eyes enlarged as the phone started making strange noises and shaking.

Nowaki took out his phone and dropped it in fear. His phone did the same thing as Akihiko dropped his phone to the ground. Both phones slowly stopped and the face of the phone turned black.

Akihiko picked up the phone and tried to turn it on. Nothing as he opened the back to check the battery…smoke came out of the back and found the battery was fried. He turned to Nowaki as Nowaki did the same procedure; his phone too was dead.

Nowaki said, "So…Mio is with Goda?"

Akihiko nodded and said, "They will return on Monday."

Nowaki smiled and said, "Can you tell Goda that he is invited to our wedding for us? Or at least, get us an address to contact him by. I want to make sure he comes."

Akihiko looked at Nowaki and said, "why? Why do you like this guy so much? He nearly destroyed your relationship, yet you want to see him again? Why?"

Nowaki smiled and said, "Why do you want to see him again?"

Akihiko stiffened and stared at Nowaki. He slowly smoked some more as he said nothing for a few minutes. His mind made some bizarre reasons like to be the hero and crush the villain…also he wanted to tell Goda off for confusing Misaki and he about their relationship…but the real reason was none of those concoctions of his imagination. Akihiko just wanted to see Goda again, but was it a sexual or romantic reason? A friendly reason? Business prospect by finishing the book? He exhaled and said, "I am not sure…why I want to see Goda again. I just do."

Nowaki smiled and stood away from his dead phone. He said, "This is interesting…who knew."

Akihiko stared as Nowaki held Hiroki close. Nowaki said, "Do you love Goda?"

Hiroki snarled, "You cannot be serious! Akihiko…well, he is…Akihiko?"

The pair of men stared at Akihiko stunned face. Akihiko never thought of it that way…love? Did he really love Goda? Was this purely sexual? What about Misaki? Misaki…what did he think about Goda? Also, could Akihiko and Misaki live on without this man constantly bothering them? Did Misaki miss Akihiko? What will happen next? Akihiko would have been happy by writing about Goda than seeing him again…the feelings, rush and confusion came back like a wave of water on the beach.

Akihiko remembered all the quotes, actions, changes and movements Goda made…Goda did destroy a part of Akihiko; he destroyed Akihiko's image of love. Love was so easy by acting around Takahiro, he forced and allowed Misaki to show his love, but the appearance of Goda and Mio…Akihiko saw love can be harsh, destructive, and suicidal…by these two men's interpretations of love…Akihiko could never look at the Junai Romantica series would saying aloud, "love…is not that easy…not anymore." He closed the documents and worked on other projects than that series.

He hummed a few notes as a long forgotten song came to him…his mother's lullaby. Akihiko slowly sang:

"Black Velvet Butterfly by Chika Usami Allens…

Divided by the harsh reality of life and death,

I face a lovely image

The grand wings of horrors and love

This magnificent Black Velvet Butterfly has come to see me once again,

Shall you come to see it too?

In the dark realms of a human heart,

The seven deadly sins trek freely,

Begging to pass through the smiles and hugs,

The Black Velvet Butterfly flies in between the lies and kisses.

Love is a deception to be uncovered and understood,

But your lover can be so cruel…

His heart may not belong to you,

All you can do is cry and watch this beautiful butterfly steal your soul…

How could this be?

I was safe in the arms of love but now divided…

What shall I do?

Shall I leave by taking flight with the Black Velvet Butterfly?

Shall I stay beside you and heal our souls as one?

I do not know what path to follow,

I am a hurt soldier of the seven deadly sins,

I face each one by looking at the man I love,

He does not love me…he never did.

Sweet child of mine,

Take flight when you see best and be careful,

The heart is a cruel thing when broken…

The Black Velvet Butterfly is only seen on your worst days…

Believe me…you shall see it someday.

Tears,

Fears,

Destruction,

Pain,

Longing,

And most of all…your own set of the seven sins.

You shall make your own Black Velvet Butterfly.

Fly, my son…

Learn to fly when the moment is right…"

Nowaki and Hiroki said nothing as tears fell down Akihiko's face. Akihiko crushed his cigarette and said, "My mother's song…I finally understand. Damn…"

Akihiko hid his face into his knees and silently sobbed. He started to see a small pattern between his father and himself…his father did not who to love, so he had a lover and married another women (even though Haruhiko was born). The twisted lies and love made the brothers hate each other and their father…nothing was ever settled or talked about…but his mother sang of an unrequited love that his father never had. Did his father love another woman other than Haruhiko's mother and Akihiko's? Or maybe…a man? Did his father love a man, and this is the reason why Fuyuhiko keeps trying to part Misaki from Akihiko? The pain that…Goda tried to teach Akihiko…did his father know it too?

That sudden question made Akihiko stiffen as Hiroki hugged his friend. Hiroki cooed, "Its okay Akihiko…Mio will be back soon. Do you want us to stay here for the day? I hate to…" He sighed when Akihiko stood and embraced his best friend in his arms.

Akihiko sighed heavily and said, "please…do not leave…I just need this for a little while."

Hiroki hugged back and said, "of course…"

Nowaki smiled and hugged both men. He said, "We would never leave a friend in need alone."

Akihiko smiled and accepted all the hugs…he felt that Monday was going to be a hard day. He was not sure how to react or say to Goda…but this had to be done. The final confrontation had to be completed if Goda, Akihiko, or Misaki were going to move on…a final kiss, touch or good-bye…what will it be?

He sighed as his own writing became a thought in his head… what will I do now? I will just live on…what else can I do? Akihiko sighed and hid his face on Hiroki's shoulder since the answers to his questions were not easy to come by.

A/N: Another Chika's song! This one I like, a lot! The song could be considered more of a tune without a chorus than a song but…either way, this is what Chika sang to her son as a child. Deep, huh?