Author's Note: Hello readers!

Than you as always to those who have favourited/alerted/reviewed this story so far. Your reviews mean such a lot to me.

This chapter is dedicated to: hc4metal – thank you so much for your continued support of this story! Remember to get a dedication in the next chapter you need to have written the best review for this chapter!

A special thanks also goes to my lovely new beta LisaDawn75 – she's made this chapter readable for all of you! Her fic Deliver Me From Evil is absolutely great, I suggest you go check it out.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Please note that this chapter deals with self-harm and I do not condone anything that Bella does in this story.

"The hard way is the right way."

John Alves

Time is a healer.

Time faded scars, resolved arguments and fixed problems, but no matter how much time passed, Bella Swan's heart could never be complete.

In three months she'd come a long way – hit rock bottom and survived; pulled herself together and got on with life. She had no inclination to do it for herself though. Everything was for Charlie.

In those first few weeks, Bella had thought of so many ways to end it all. That would be taking the easy way out, though, and she wasn't a quitter. Instead, she threw herself into anything to take her mind off him. Her schoolwork was outstanding and she had surprised all of her teachers by exceeding their expectations – the two weeks she had spent off school had only made Bella more determined to succeed. She was never a minute late to work at the Newton's store and she was a favourite with the customers. Charlie's dinner was on the table as soon as he stepped through the door. The house was spotless and the cupboards were always filled with food.

Bella had a clean record, too. She hadn't gotten in with the 'wrong crowd' and started drinking or taking drugs to relieve the constant agony. There was no self-harming or sleeping around; in fact, she never even went out the house except to school, the supermarket and work at the Newton's store.

What was she supposed to do once she had graduated though? There was more to life than what she was currently doing, but Bella had no desire to search for whatever 'it' was. She had faced more pain than most had suffered in a lifetime. No one seemed to understand this wasn't something she was going to get over.

What's the point in living when there is no one to live your life with? For the first time in her life, Bella Swan truly felt lonely. Sure, her friends at school had welcomed her back, but they had coped fine without her. Renee had Phil and even Charlie seemed to be rather comfortable in the company of Sue Clearwater, Leah and Seth's mother.

Nobody needed her anymore, and the one she needed the most had left her to struggle alone.

The only benefit received from this whole ordeal was the improvement in Bella's acting ability. There was plenty of time to rehearse – she practised everyday from half past six in the morning when she awoke to ten-thirty in the evening when she said goodnight to Charlie.

That was why she was surprised when Charlie had, suddenly, slammed his first down on the kitchen table that evening.

"Stop it Bella, just, stop it."

"Stop what?" she replied, her voice rough from lack of use.

"I can't bear to watch you like this any longer."

"But, what's wrong? I don't understand." Bella's face remained blank, devoid of any emotions.

"This," Charlie stated, gesturing up and down her body with pain-filled eyes.

Bella had been wrong. She hadn't fooled Charlie one bit. A couple of months ago she would have broken down at this discovery, ashamed that she had even considered deceiving her father. Her feelings would not reach the surface now; she was competent at compressing them. Charlie deserved better than to have suffer through that again – those nights of hearing her anguished cries and screams. So instead, she inhaled deeply and hid behind the wall she had created.

Bella was safe there, hidden. It had been built up over the months out of self-preservation, becoming nearly shatterproof. She knew that if something like the incident with the Cullens happened again, then she wouldn't come out of it, not even for Charlie.

She was a different person now, not the Bella that had come to Forks.

"I'm fine, Dad. My studies are going great and the house is in good shape. I even have enough money saved from my work for my first semester at college," she spoke in a rushed tone in an attempt to distract Charlie from the matter at hand.

"But that's the problem, Bells," he whispered exasperated.

"What do you want me to do?" Bella was thoroughly confused now. Did he want her to get into trouble?

"I want you to be a normal teenage girl, Bella. It's a Friday night! You should be out with your friends or something," he said with more strength to his voice. "Having fun."

It was torture for Charlie to watch Bella and he wouldn't let it continue like this any longer. Three months. That's how long she had been like this walking zombie. He thought it was almost better if she was crying endlessly like those few days after the Cullen's departure – at least she would be showing some emotion.

Her entire outlook on life appeared to have changed since she had left the note on the table saying she was going to school and would cook dinner that night. Charlie had been pleased, things seemed to be returning to how they should – balance restored.

But when she came back from school, she was different – not his Bells.

He had watched her over the next few months, expecting to see her return to her normal self, but it never came.

On paper, Bella was excellent – high grades, good reputation at work, looked after the house and cooked. But if you took one look in her dead and lonesome eyes, you could tell she was not right.

By busying herself with school, cleaning, cooking and work, she thought that she'd tricked Charlie into thinking she had recovered. It was the little things he'd picked up on. The way she would casually excuse herself from the room when the television was switched on. How he could never hear any music coming from her bedroom. Most upsetting of all was the way she distanced herself from people. Not just physically by keeping space between her and others, but giving clipped answers to questions and never really showing what she truly felt.

What Charlie would do to get his hands on that boy who had destroyed his daughter. Little did he know that even if he brought his riffle with him, he stood no chance against Edward Cullen. He felt betrayed, too. He had trusted the Cullens, stood up for them against his closest friend, Billy Black, and then they had vanished into thin air, leaving him with nothing but a destroyed daughter.

Bella was truly lifeless, a robot. She did everything that was asked of her, but there was no emotion behind it. It was as though there was nothing left of her to give, but she would still try and then try even harder. She continued with her life as though nothing had happened, trying...for Charlie.

But Charlie Swan just wanted his Bella back.

Just as Bella turned to leave the kitchen, she swore she heard Charlie whisper so quietly she wasn't even sure she heard it, "I just want my Bella back."

Those few words were like a sharp blow to the wall protecting her. So she ran up to her room to escape Charlie's eyes, in case she couldn't control herself.

However, after months of suppressing unwanted feelings, it wasn't long before she felt the familiar numbness wash over her once more.

Three months ago, she would have welcomed a release from the constant pain with open arms, but she realised that she didn't deserve to be released from her punishment for loving him. It was wrong not to feel pain – she should be suffering.

She was tired of being empty inside; Bella wanted to feel something again…anything.

In her frustration, Bella's blunt fingernails were digging into her forearms. Surprised, she quickly released her arms. Four curved imprints had been left on the supple skin, a reminder of her angry outburst.

But in the midst of the dulling pain, Bella realised she'd gotten a sense of relief from the experience. She thought it odd that her mind had suddenly cleared, just for a moment, before it fleetingly disappeared. Would physical pain help her to pay for her misdeeds?

Testing her theory, Bella ran her fingernail swiftly up her arm, adding enough pressure so that the line glowed a bright white before fading to a faint pink. In the brief moment that the pain arrived, Bella's mind could focus. Focus on something other than him.

She needed more, though. Her bitten fingernails couldn't provide enough to sufficiently distract her. She contemplated if she had the guts to take it further. Bella didn't think of it as hurting herself, merely as a way to help get on with life.

She'd seen the statistics, of course. Read the articles about teens resorting to drugs, alcohol, self-harm and even suicide, but she had never thought she would become one of the many. No, she reminded herself, I'm not like them – all I want is to feel something. It's not as though I'm going to get into the whole drug scene and stuff like that anyway.

Bella was still unsure as to whether she would go through with her plan as she quietly crept down the hallway to the bathroom, praying that Charlie wouldn't come and disturb her should she go ahead with it. The cool tiles of the bathroom floor on the bare soles of her feet reminded Bella of his touch, making her decision final as she then fumbled for a razor blade in the cupboard.

She really was going through with it, but as she held the offending piece of metal in her palm, she wondered if she was capable of dragging it across her wrist to deliberately make herself bleed. Once she had done this, she knew there was no going back. He had always told her to look after herself so would she be able to go directly against his word?

An image of them together in the meadow suddenly appeared in her mind and she thought that everything he had said to her was a lie. All the promises he had made were broken, so he could go to hell if breaking one promise made her worse than him. So yes, she could, and would, go ahead with it.

Bella's hand trembled as she slowly balanced the blade so that the shiny metallic edge stood out against her pale skin. Adding the smallest amount of pressure, she dragged the blade upwards so that a faint white line appeared on her skin before it faded into a pale pink, much like using her own fingernails.

That wasn't good enough for Bella as it had barely hurt to do that and there was no flooding of the emotion she was so desperately searching for. So, she lined the razor blade up again before jerking it roughly along the length of her arm. She felt a twinge of pain as the blood rushed to the surface and seeped out the edge of the long cut.

Glancing down at her work, Bella felt an unexpected sense of joy. She had created that angry looking red line that shone against her porcelain skin. For the first time in months, Bella was feeling something. She didn't care in that moment that she had become a statistic; she felt human again and that was all that mattered.

Within minutes, a collection of similar incisions had appeared up her left arm; some were deeper and longer than others but each had contributed to the high she was riding. It was a relief to Bella that she was still capable of feelings but, as time passed, she felt herself come back from the self-induced happiness that was now being replaced by guilt.

She instantly pictured Charlie sitting downstairs in front of the television, oblivious to what his daughter was doing right above him. The guilt wasn't just for her actions, though. It was for feeling some happiness when all she thought she was supposed to feel was pain. Reality came crashing back down soon enough as the rusty smell of Bella's blood hit her nose, leaving her light-headed and with a churning stomach.

Good job he isn't here right now, Bella thought wryly as she swiftly placed her arm under the tap, allowing the cold water to wash out the cuts. The same blood that one vampire in particular had controlled his thirst for so strictly was now running freely down the drain, tinged a murky orange-brown from the dilution of the water.

Returning the clean blade to the cupboard behind the mirror, Bella noticed that although her eyes were still lifeless in comparison to how they used to look, if you looked carefully, there was a slight light in them that there hadn't been before.

Pleased with the results of her newfound activity, Bella tiptoed back to her room and found a grey sweater that would cover her arm before making her way back downstairs. As she had suspected, Charlie was lounging on the sofa watching a game on television but he turned around as he felt the hovering figure behind him.

"Erm, hi, Bells," Charlie said, clearing his throat. "Are you okay?" he questioned, noticing that she was fidgeting nervously with the cuff of her sweater.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Bella answered quickly, anxiously wondering if he noticed a difference in her already and had figured out what she'd been up to only minutes beforehand. Silently, she vowed that she would ensure that Charlie never found out her secret. She knew that he wouldn't see it how she saw it – helping her to become a normal person again, someone who was in control of their life.

"I was just going to bed," she continued, wanting to escape to her room in case Charlie spotted the scabs that were starting to form beneath the fleecy material.

"But it's only quarter to eight Bells. Don't you want to hang out with your friends or just get out of the house for a while? I thought you were going to try and socialise more now that you've been back at school for a while." Whilst Charlie tried to remain optimistic, Bella still noticed the hint of defeat in his tone.

Most fathers would be pleased their daughter was at home on a Friday night, Bella thought grimly, so why did Charlie have to be so insistent to get her out and about? She remembered that she was going to act normal for Charlie's sake though, and realised that it would be better if she wasn't constantly under his radar; there was less chance of him discovering her scarred skin that way.

With a plan to spark more emotion into her world and please Charlie, Bella calmly stated she was going to bed early because she was going shopping in Port Angeles tomorrow. Charlie was momentarily stunned at her words before a huge grin broke out on his face – the sort that made him look how Bella remembered him as a child.

"That's great, Bells, really great!" His tone echoed the joy that was written clearly over his face. "Now you spend as long as you want out shopping – don't you worry about cooking dinner tomorrow night either. I'll order in some pizza or something."

Bella allowed herself a small bit of pride – it was so easy to please Charlie and make him believe she was doing an activity he knew she hated. The guilt then followed as she realised he wouldn't be acting like this if he knew what she was planning on doing tomorrow. Charlie had wanted her to act like a normal teenager, though, and that was exactly what Bella was going to do. Well, she was pushing the boundaries slightly when she said 'normal teenager' – this sort of thing wasn't what all the Forks High students tended to spend a Saturday doing.

"Thanks Dad," she quietly murmured, forcing a smile onto her face. "So…I'm going to go to sleep now."

"Sure, Bella, sure! Have fun tomorrow!" Charlie was still intoxicated by what he viewed as an 'improvement' in Bella.

Brushing her teeth in the bathroom, Bella dejectedly noticed that the spark in her eyes had faded along with the emotions she had felt whilst cutting. Now that she knew there was a way to at least temporarily break free from the numbness, there was nothing that was going to stop her from reaching it again.

Sinking into bed, she thought of other things she could do after tomorrow that would bring some sort of emotion into her world. Of course, she found it was hard to find things that wouldn't actually kill her. She had to stay alive for Charlie after all.

It was strange how much Bella had changed in one day – from a Grade A student to thinking of dangerous activities she could participate in. Bella didn't realise, however, that the more she tried to combat the numbness with life-threatening activities and gain control her life, the deeper she was pulling herself into a place where she would be powerless against the addiction.

Bella was, of course, oblivious to this as she drifted into unconsciousness, a smile creeping up onto her lips as she awaited the familiar nightmare that would inevitably come. No matter how much it frightened her, she still welcomed any image of him. A reminder that he hadn't been a figment of her imagination and that he was still on the same earth as her – perhaps not as far away as she'd led herself to believe.

Who would have thought that a fragile, human girl could keep a strong coven of vampires together?

Several thousand miles away, seven vampires were falling apart because Bella was no longer part of their lives. Esme and Carlisle had felt as though they had lost a daughter, and they missed being able to take care of someone as though they were actually their child.

Emmett no longer had a sister that he could tease about her human antics and, although Rosalie had never taken a liking to Bella and resented the fact that her family was sad about leaving her, she hated seeing her family upset about anything. Even she would put up with the human girl being around if things returned to normal.

Alice had not only lost a shopping partner and someone to torture with her makeovers, but a best friend. She was desperate to return to Bella and was furious that Edward had been so selfish in making them move away from Forks. It wasn't just him that had become attached to her. Alice had also been forbidden to look for Bella's future – not that she would be able to see much of it nowadays as she was no longer attuned to it.

Jasper, well, he wasn't doing too well either. The constant whirlwind of emotions was driving him crazy and he had even had to leave several weeks ago because it had become too much. There was only so much self-loathing, sorrow, anger and regret that he could deal with before finally snapping. No matter how hard it had been to control his thirst for Bella's blood, he would do it a thousand times over if she would re-enter their life and make all the pieces fall into place again.

The first few days after they had left Forks had consisted of many angry thoughts that had been accompanied by the crashing of furniture upstairs, but now there was silence in the Cullen household. All Edward did was remember.

Oh, Edward. Jasper had to stay as far away from him as possible because the self-hatred radiating from his room was unbearable. He was devastated that he had abandoned his Bella – it had been the most difficult task in his entire existence. What other choice did he have, though? They had already interfered enough with her comparatively short life. Staying any longer could only result in destroying the future of an angel. There was no way he would have been able to take her soul either, to damn her to this immortality in the shadows.

Edward didn't realise, however, that on the other side of the world Bella had already given up on living. All she was doing was a façade for other people. Unknowingly, he had taken her precious soul with him that very day in the forest three months ago, and that she was spilling blood in his memory. He couldn't comprehend how a mere human girl could match his feelings and magnetic attraction.

Alice's vision of Bella as one of them had been crystal clear – as certain as there being a tomorrow, but no matter how often the others said never to bet against Alice, Edward was adamant that Bella's life would be spared. Alice had no way of knowing if Bella's future was still on this path with their departure because, not only would Edward go spiralling out of control again, but she was afraid of what she might find.

They say time is a healer but, when you live forever, time has less meaning. The agony of leaving Bella had not faded, but it was perhaps more correct to say that the Cullens had become resigned to the idea that they wouldn't be seeing her anytime soon.

Alice suddenly found herself in a vision, gasping when she realised who she was looking at. A girl with murky brunette hair was flashing a mischievous smile at a man on the other side of the bar, motioning with her index finger for him to come over to her. Alice only saw snippets of other things to come – the guy with his arm around the girl, the stench of alcohol and scraps of clothing. Each image was fuzzier than the last, but the intention was still evident.

A roar from upstairs snapped her out of the vision as Alice was met with a wild Edward, a snarl reverberating from deep within his chest and teeth bared inches from Alice's thin neck.

"How dare you look into her future." Those words were spat out and his tone matched the look of fury on his face. Looking into his cold, staring eyes, Alice realised how the girl from her vision had looked familiar yet so different. It was obviously Bella, but her eyes weren't the warm chocolate colour that sparkled whenever she smiled – they were empty and sad, like Edward's.

"I didn't look for her future, it just appeared!" she replied thunderously, angry at Edward again for tearing her away from her sister and best friend. Alice managed to muster some control so that she could try and reason with Edward before he returned to brooding in his room. "Edward, go back to her," she continued in a softer tone after seeing the raw pain in his eyes. "She needs you. Who's going to protect her?"

The indecision was clear on his face as Alice was met with images of Edward and Bella reuniting and then others of Edward alone in his room again, his eyes a flat black from lack of hunting and his clothes dishevelled.

"The vision doesn't change anything. Bella deserves better than me and I'm glad she's moving on," Edward said emotionlessly. "Anyway, how much trouble can she get into in Forks?"

With that he swept out of the room, but Alice saw straight through his lies. He was mad and jealous at seeing Bella with someone else, despite causing her to move on in the first place. Alice realised with a sigh that something wasn't right with the vision though. The Bella she knew would never have been acting like that, but her eyes had been different, proving that Bella wasn't the same girl they all knew and loved. Alice didn't like not understanding what was happening, but one thing she was certain of, was that Bella could get into a lot of trouble in Forks.

A/N: Well there you go!

As I said in the A/N at the beginning self-harm is not something that I condone and if you do harm yourself or are thinking of doing so please speak to someone or message me – you're not alone and there are people that can help you to get through your pain in a much better way.

Anyway, my little heath and safety warning is over and the next chapter will be up asap.

Reviews are better than a furious Edward ;) and the best reviewer will also receive a dedication in the next chapter.

Thanks for reading,

CrazyLittleWriter