A/N I was supposed to post this update yesterday but I was completely obsessed with a new idea and wrote 3 chapters for my next story. I'm forcing myself not to post it yet, that would be crazy. :)

Thank you again for your review! Mrs. Stacy I loved reading your comment, it's really great that some of you can sort of relate to certain elements of the fic.

One more thing, this is NOT a story about cheating, I don't think I could ever write one. Just in case you were wondering :)

Enjoy!

Meredith braced herself for the storm she knew was coming. She just made her way back from the meeting with Carolyn and was walking to the locker room to get ready for her shift when Derek caught up with her with a furious expression on his face.

"What did you tell them?" he hissed.

"Who?" she frowned back. Of course, a kiss or simple "Hi, Mer" would be too much for a greeting.

"I've just got a call after call," he explained with irritation. "My mother and each and every one of my sisters!"

"Well, maybe if you had called them first, they wouldn't have had to hunt you down," Meredith stood her ground. "Soon Mom will forget how you look like."

"You know we're busy," he shrugged as it was the most obvious fact in the world. "But that's not the point. They were after my blood, so what did you tell them? You don't side with them!"

"Are you twelve?" she rolled her eyes. "I don't side with anyone."

"But you said something to them!" he insisted. "My mother ordered me to come to dinner this weekend!"

Meredith raised her eyebrows, Carolyn acted fast.

"Then we'll come to dinner," she shrugged and moved past him.

"Mer," he sighed grabbing her wrist. "What is going on? Is this about yesterday? Look, I'm sorry if I stepped over the line but you did too."

She juggled it in her mind for a minute, looked up at him and admitted, "I might have mentioned… that maybe we shouldn't get married this summer."

"What? Why?" the utter shock on his face softened her up.

"Look, the hospital corridor is not the best place to talk about it-"

"Mer," he pleaded not loosening his hold on her hand.

"The internship… it's… it might be too much," she sighed. "We're working so hard we're close to forgetting our names… Maybe we should just focus on one thing at a time."

"Meredith," he cocked his head and lifted his hand to touch her cheek. "We've been busy, we've had less time for each other but our wedding is just the thing we need at the end of the year."

"Is it?" she looked at him hopefully.

"Yes," he smiled at her in the way it always made her melt. "We put so much effort in preparations. It wouldn't be very rational to call it off at the finish line. And the next few years will be busy too, let's not start the frenzy all over again."

"Right," said Meredith hollowly. So not the argument she was waiting for.

"Good," he grinned and kissed her quickly on the cheek. "We'll see each other home, I have to catch up with the revision."

"Sure," she nodded and stood watching his back as he marched away. She would follow Carolyn's plea, she wouldn't call off the wedding… now. She would give him the two months that were left until their wedding but… at the end of the day, she would not commit a marriage of convenience.

She shook her head and entered the locker room, welcome by Cristina Yang's, her fellow intern's enthusiastic outcry.

"My girl is here, you're officially my idol!"

Meredith looked at her suspiciously. "You want me to swap attendings? Trade a surgery? Cover for you on Friday night? The answer is no."

"Love your sense of humor," Cristina blew her a kiss. "I'm talking about last night, you, a glass of beer and McDreamy's soaked pants! Ah, what a show! That sight's gonna crack me up years from now!"

Meredith changed into her scrubs silently.

"Girl, don't be modest!" she laughed to which Meredith gave her a wry smile.

"Hey, why do you look as though your patient has miraculously got better without surgery?" she asked shrewdly. "A. Your patient has miraculously got better without surgery. B. Bad hair day. C. A toxic relationship. Let's think…" she pretended to be deep in thought. "I choose C!"

"For you any relationship is toxic," Meredith rolled her eyes, stung by the pinch of truth in Cristina's words.

"Not every," she shook her head firmly. "A strictly sexual relationship isn't toxic. No strings attached and all that. But when emotions come into the mix, the commitment… I'm heading for the exit."

"Seriously, Meredith," she took up when her statement was met with silence. "What are you doing with him? You're ambitious, you're driven, you're hardcore! Just like me. Why are you clinging to Shepherd? Sure, he's a good doctor. Easy on the eyes. But vowing your love until the grave?"

"Maybe… because I love him?" snorted Meredith.

"Right, there's that puppy love argument-"

"It's not puppy love," cut her Meredith. "The best moments of my life, I spent them with him and thanks to him. He fought for me and… I love him, even if he's…" she trailed off.

"Acting like a total douchebag?" finished for her Cristina in a sympathetic sigh. "Girl, you're screwed."

"Tell me about it," nodded Meredith sitting down on the bench.

FLASHBACK

Meredith had just bit into her burger when she heard someone clearing his throat nearby. She looked up to see Derek Shepherd standing in front of her table which she occupied alone, with an eager expression on his face.

"You mind?" he smiled.

Meredith stared at him blankly for a good minute before she shrugged her shoulders disinterestedly. He sat down and his grin went even wider. She didn't mind Derek Shepherd's presence per se but it was becoming dangerous. Two weeks ago, he had said that he liked her and that he came close to regarding her as his friend. She didn't have friends, she didn't need them, she didn't wanted them. What was the point of letting someone into your life, getting used to their presence and then watching them go, which they undoubtedly would?

"So, how's it going?" asked conversationally Derek.

"Same as half an hour ago when we had chemistry," she answered sourly.

"I think we still do," he grinned.

"What?" she stopped to chew on her food and stared at him quizzically. Did the world flip out of its axis? Did Derek Shepherd just try to flirt with her?

"I said… you know…" he flustered. "I joked…"

"I know what you meant, I'm not stupid," she scowled at him. "What I don't know is what you are trying to gain."

"I'm not trying to gain anything," he shook his head. "Well, maybe your friendship…"

"My friendship?" snorted Meredith. "No one can gain my friendship. And you see them?" she pointed in the direction of the table that was taken by a small group that was widely recognized as school dorks. Half of them had their noses buried into books, the other half was passionately discussing Freud's psychology. "If you keep hanging around me, they won't let you into their little circle."

Derek looked at them skeptically. It wasn't that he didn't like them or thought less of them. He felt like he just didn't belong with there. He wanted something else from life, something more.

He faced Meredith again, "I prefer to stay here."

Meredith narrowed her eyes but only shrugged her shoulders at his elated expression. "Suit yourself."

"So, I saw Dwight Parker back in school," he said casually from over his salad.

"Ugh, did I look like I wanted to maintain the conversation?" she asked sarcastically. "And if you wanted to chat up with a member of the gossip mill you chose the wrong table," she said nodding at another sector of the cafeteria. The pink of the clothes was almost hurting the eyes.

"Your hair matches," remarked Derek humorously.

"Excuse me?" she snapped at him and he cringed at his faux pas.

"Of course, you're nothing like them…" he assured hurriedly. "You're smarter… smarter and prettier…"

"What?"

"Nothing," he swallowed heavily and changed the subject. "And Dwight Parker is the thug you… you… you took my things from him."

"Ah," she nodded. "The one I kneaded in the balls."

"I heard they needed to make for stitches on his... you know," said Derek.

"On his you know?" Meredith raised her eyebrow. "Even a guy who uses that part of anatomy only for peeing should know it's called a penis."

"I know what it's called like," he muttered going red in the face.

"Sweet," she snickered and turned her head at the sudden commotion at the entrance. "Oh, look who's here."

The object of their conversation just appeared in the cafeteria in the company of his cronies and giggling girls.

"I would think his golden days were over after he was neutralized by a freshman, a girl freshman," said Derek.

"Where do you get your news? Even I heard he was telling everyone it was a sex injury," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Oh," Derek was only capable of uttering a single monosyllable. He was completely bewitched by the manner that simple short word fell off her full rosy lips. Suddenly, he felt like… He was sure he was once again scarlet on his face and his breathing became difficult. Should he be thinking this way about her? And she didn't even want to be his friend…

"Anyway," he saw her snicker. "I'd watch out if I were you."

"What? Why?" he asked thickly.

"I doubt he'll go after me in revenge. You, on the other hand, are an easy target."

Derek gulped meeting Parker's hard stare from the opposite corner of the room. One reason more to stick to Meredith.

"Shit, you're everywhere!" yelled Meredith from her solitary bench on the school grounds seeing Derek walking purposefully in her direction. The classes were over but she saw her mother returning in a foul mood from a night shift in the morning. With a bit of luck and dragging her feet, Ellis would be gone again before she made it home.

"Aren't you cold?" asked Derek joining her on the bench without asking for permission.

"Why do you care?" she sighed holding the book she was reading higher to make him understand she didn't want to be disturbed.

"Friends care about each other," he answered cheekily.

"You're infuriating," she groaned. "A little miss sunshine…"

"So…" he took up, suddenly nervous. "Are you busy this Sunday?"

Meredith smashed her book close and turned to look at him as though he'd just gone mad.

"I don't even want to know what's going on in that afro head of yours."

"No, it's just my mom…"

"Your mom?" she squinted at him. Mrs. Shepherd stood out in her memory as a very nice woman. If Meredith had any conjecture of how a prototype mother should be, it would be Derek's mom.

"She… really liked you," confessed Derek. "And she asked me to ask you to have dinner with us."

She was momentarily at a loss for words as she tried to find some excuse while looking at Derek's expectant face.

Before she had a chance to say anything, she heard catcalls and jeers.

"Well, isn't it cozy?" a girl Meredith remembered from her classes, Jessica Johnson, came to a halt beside their bench with a little group of her girlfriends.

"We've heard the rumors about you and the nerd, Grey, but I would never believe them if I hadn't seen them with my own eyes," she grinned, her eyes looking down on Meredith and Derek condescendingly. "I thought it was beneath even a weirdo like you."

"Didn't know you were personally interested, Johnson," she bit back coldly.

"Oh, puh-lease," Johnson rolled her eyes, half-amused, half-disgusted. "I'm just shocked, that's all. Tell me, are you doing this for charity," she seized Derek up unfavorably, "or you really can't find catch anyone better than the scarface?"

"I… we're not…" stammered Derek dejectedly, ready to leave. What was he thinking? Even if Meredith wasn't the most popular girl in school, not even close, they were still a universe apart. Nerds, and he finally should accept he was one, didn't socialize with punks.

"Where do you think you're going?" Meredith glared at him as she caught his wrist. She was thin and tiny but she had a surprising strength.

"Looks like the nerd knows he's not needed where he doesn't belong," giggled Johnson's friend showing teeth gums while she laughed.

"I think you should clear out and stop sticking your garbled nose in others people's business," hissed at them Meredith while throwing cautious glances at Derek. She was made at the stupid plastic girls but she was also mad at him. When was he going to grow some backbone?

"My nose is not garbled!" squeaked the girl feeling her breathing organ self-consciously.

"Don't be stupid," Jessica punched her in the arm and scowled back at Meredith, "What, are we interrupting? Would you two be doing something else instead?"

"Yes, in fact we would," smirked Meredith and not thinking much, pulled Derek closer. The last thing she saw before their lips met was his completely stunned face.

It wasn't so bad, she thought halfway though the kiss. His lips were soft and gentle and not as forceful as those of the guys with whom she made out at the parties. They were always older and groping around for her breasts. Sure, the contact was a bit awkward but she was certain the girls gang wouldn't notice. They were probably too shocked with the fact that someone could really kiss Derek.

To say that Derek was utterly unprepared for what was happening would be the understatement of the century. One moment he was scorned and made fun off, the other he was kissing a girl for the first time in his life! Or he was being kissed for the first time in his life. He barely regained control of his swirling brain and moved his head to press his mouth closer to her, she backed away and stood up.

"Now, if you'll excuse us," she smiled sweetly at their unpleasant company and dragged him behind her. "We'd prefer to find a more private corner."

She let of off his hand only when they were out of sight and he touched his lips with awe.

"Wow…" he whispered.

"Wow?" she rounded on them, her arms falling to her sides. "When are you going to speak up, Derek? When they attack you, you strike back! They're gonna eat you alive if you don't learn it! Are you even listening to me?"

"I…" he stuttered, her eyes fixed hypnotically on her lips which he was touching only minutes before.

"Whoa! You need to stop right there!" she warned him sternly. "It was a one time thing only and I did it to save your ass. This can't exist, you get that right?"

"So we're kissing but we're not dating?" he quipped, his eyes sparkling.

"We're not kissing!" she gasped and moved to stalk away leaving him alone on the sidewalk in front of the gateway to the school. Quite fruitlessly as Derek followed her like a lost puppy.

"So what do you say about that dinner on Sunday?"

END OF FLASHBACK

Meredith smiled warmly at the recollection of how her and Derek's over a decade long relationship had started. She was so wary of becoming close to another human being, she fought it kicking and screaming. However, despite Derek's teenage awkwardness and timidity, he chased her. He fought for her. And she was going to fight for him now. He didn't leave her in the dark. She was going to pull him out of it too. No surrender.

A/N You know you want to hit that review button :)

Also, there's an update coming for BBAW soonish.

Em