Dear West

Chapter 8:

November, 1990

The atmosphere was tense.

Even though they'd known each other for over half their lives, the atmosphere was notably different as they stood around and waited for everyone to gather. He realized that something was definitely off when Feliciano arrived early for once. The greetings were quiet and formal, and the walk was uncharacteristically solemn. He looked around subtly to see Alfred leading the way with a frown on his face, Matthew following close behind, equally solemn, Arthur and Francis had rather forlorn expressions on their face, Elizabeta stayed close to Roderich and Feliciano walked quietly behind him. Peter had moved to Sweden and Lovino to Spain and so, they weren't as free to move around.

"Sorry it took so long, I mean with the fall of the wall and the reunification of Germany and whatnot, it took awhile to get all the paperwork done and everything approved and stuff," the American noted mildly.

"So where are we going," he finally asked though he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer.

Alfred rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "you see, the thing is, we found this place…"

He raised a brow at the younger man's obvious avoidance, "yes? And what about this place you found?"

"Well it used to be a Soviet headquarters of some sort," the American was desperately looking around to the others for help but received none. "It'll make more sense if I explain it there."

Once he walked past what used to be the wall, the world around him seemed to change. Though he'd never walked down the area where their destination was, it somehow felt as though he'd entered a foreign area, so similar yet different at the same time.

When they finally arrived at a large building, Alfred stopped and turned around, "it's going to get really ugly so if you don't think you can handle it, you probably shouldn't come in here. This was one of the Soviet headquarters we found when we were going through this area," he began explaining as they entered the place. The area was filled with police and other professionals, all bustling about, all oblivious to their presence. "And we found this one room which, we believe, was the interrogation area."

He could feel his head pounding in his chest and the blood rushing in his ears.

Leading them down the hall and through a door, down a long staircase and into an empty concrete room minus a single door, the blond frowned and warned them all, "Just a heads up, it takes a long while to get used to the smell, although this place hasn't been used in a bit, with the way the room was sealed up, quite a bit of the stench's still there."

Opening the door, the odour hit them right away.

It was the smell of rotting flesh and death.

Feliciano stopped and turned around, looking a little sick, "I think I'll wait for you upstairs."

Covering his mouth and nose with his sleeve, Alfred continued onwards, "When we were here, we found this room empty. But then one of the guys noticed that the floors weren't even and when we began poking around, and then we found…well, you can see for yourself what we found."

Ludwig was appalled to see bodies lying in rows throughout the room with people wandering about, examining them, some doctors, others merely civilians. They ranged from decaying corpses with cuts and welts still visible to skeletons in torn rags. At this, Francis turned to his son with a worried frown, "Mathieu, mon cher, you look ill. Perhaps you should turn back."

Matthew continued staring at the bodies, face pale. Alfred frowned, he hadn't meant to show the other blond such a gruesome scene, especially since he knew how soft-hearted the other was. He began ushering the younger man away, his brotherly instincts kicking in, "Mattie, Francis is right, you don't have to stay. It's okay, just go back out and wait for us. We won't be here very long, I only really need Ludwig and maybe Francis here anyways. You look like you're ready to hurl."

Arthur wrapped an arm around the young man's shoulder, "Alfred's right, lad. Here, I'll take you back outside. The fresh air will do you good."

And once they were gone, Ludwig shook his head, "were all these people killed in here?"

Alfred nodded, "we have reason to believe they were and we've arranged them in chronological order the best we could. The problem is identification. Some of the people you see here are folks that have missing family members and friends and they're here to see if they can find their missing person. …The thing is, Lui…" He hadn't been called that in years, only the kids he grew up with knew that name and only one person really used that name consistently had been… "Francis and I've been trying to track down Gilbert." After hearing that name, suddenly the reality he'd created for himself fell apart. "And we haven't had any luck. And then we found this place and we don't know anything for certain yet but…" the younger blond led them towards a couple skeletons, "these are the ones from around 1975, when we lost contact with him."

"We're not forcing you to do anything you don't want to. I understand how hard this must be for you. Feel free to leave if you have to," the Frenchman quickly reassured him.

"With these remains are the possessions we found with them. If you don't mind, since you've been with him the longest and you were the last of us to see him, could you look around and see if you recognize anything here? We just want to know if Gilbert's…yea…"

That was when Elizabeta's breath got caught in her throat, she covered her mouth and gave a weak shake of the head and Roderich escorted her out.

Looking down at the skeletons, he noticed that many of their bones were missing or had been shattered. Alfred caught his horrified stare and explained, "The interrogations here were probably ruthless. We don't think many people, if any, made it out of here alive. Most of the bodies we found here were badly mutilated one way or another, and most of them have gun wounds as well meaning they were most likely beaten then shot."

He remained silent. Somehow, the other's blatant explanation didn't help calm his flipping stomach.

Along the rows of skeletons, he noticed a blonde woman kneeling in front of one of the bodies and crying. She looked worn out and malnourished as she knelt there, holding what appeared to be a broken pipe. As he walked past her and the skeleton with the missing ribs and a shattered leg and an old cut on the forehead, he could hear the woman's weeping in a broken mixture of German and Dutch, "broer, what've they done to you? I'm so sorry. I never meant any of it to happen that way. I'm so sorry …I messed everything up and I just ran from it all. I left him there and ran away for all these years, I'm so sorry…he was right…I found out what the east was actually like and I was so lost without you…broer…he was right and all I did was get him killed…I'm so sorry…"

And they kept walking; body after body, it got to the point where instead of seeing them as people, he simply began looking at them as a blur of skeletal remains on display. That is, until one of them caught his attention. His breath hitched when he looked at the wrist. There was an all too familiar watch on the skeleton's fractured wrist. Stopping in his tracks, he leaned down and took a better look at it.

"Look Lui, I found Vati's watch! I guess he forgot it or left it here or something. Isn't it awesome? It tells both the time and date! Now I'll never lose track of time again!"

Now the watch was cracked and broken, its time stopped forever at ten thirty-nine, January 16th.

The American turned his attention to him, "What is it, Ludwig?"

He continued staring at the body, "that watch…"

The degree of brutality visible on this skeleton seemed to exceed many of the others in the room. The body had ribs missing like man of the other ones, a few fingers were missing, one of the legs had been shattered along with the wrist the watch was on, and the skull wasn't even fully intact anymore.

It made him sick just look at such a broken body.

But he couldn't turn away. His brain had blanked out and stopped functioning.

He couldn't make the connection that that body was once a living person. He couldn't associate any of his memories to the bones in front of him. The good times he'd lived through, the bad times he'd lived through, they had nothing to do with the skeleton lying there as far as he was concerned.

Alfred on the other hand, had an unreadable expression on his face, "that's right…that's the watch he always looked at…"

"Gilbo, is it snack time yet?"

"What time did I say snack time was again?"

"What time is it?"

"Hm? It's…oi! You're a sly little thing, aren't you? I've taught you well! Alright, just for that awesome move you almost pulled on me, I'll make snack time now."

"Awesome!"

"Thanks, I know I am."

Looking at the younger pair as they stared, absolutely mesmerized by the broken body, Francis frowned. Though Alfred was usually good with dealing with scenes of crime and brutality, when it came to dealing with someone he once knew, the young man had reverted back to a childlike state and looked ready to cry. And Ludwig who was usually more conservative with his emotions had a blank look of shock written all over his face. He knew the young man had tried to move on with his life by convincing himself that his past life in the east had all been a dream but with the evidence-no, with his only brother lying there, he could almost hear the boy's walls crumbling away.

Though it took awhile, Francis managed to tear his gaze away from his childhood friend and began leading the other blondes out, "come now, I think that's quite enough for one day."

After leaving the building, time seemed to flow again as people bustled about on the streets, unaware of the horrors that'd taken place under the very grounds they walked on. Francis had gone to comfort the youngest blond while Elizabeta and Roderich approached him anxiously, "was there anything?"

He could tell they were hoping that he'd tell them 'no, there'd been a mistake, there's absolutely nothing there that could be related to anyone we knew', but instead, all he could do was let his head drop into an apologetic sad shake.

That'd been enough to get the message across as the woman let out a cry of disbelief and finally let her tears run free for the loss of one of her oldest friends. Nothing had registered in his mind yet; even as he watched the people around him break down into tears.

Arthur looked over worriedly at him, "will you be alright, lad? You've been through a lot today. Let's head back and call it a day. We can figure everything out over a cup of tea tomorrow."

He gave a weak nod and watched as people began leaving. From beside him, Elizabeta had turned to him, "Ludwig, there's something you should know…"

Though he knew what the woman was going to say, he asked anyways, "About what?"

"About Gilbert and who he was…I know you haven't forgiven him yet and you probably don't want to hear this but…"

Ludwig shook his head, thinking back to the letter he read yesterday. He'd realized that he needed to get a clearer picture of what'd happened. And inside, he'd realized that he couldn't remember what his brother was like anymore. "No, it's fine, Elizabeta. Tell me."

The brunette collected herself the best she could, "you're so different from him… Gilbert, he was my best friend. I turned to him for everything. When we figured out that I was a girl, he stayed my friend. When the other kids didn't believe me, he gave me flowers for my hair. I don't know if you remember, but he saved us as the border."

He nodded, thinking back to that day, "I remember…"

"And when he found out that Roderich and I probably won't be able to have children, I remember how he wrote me a reply right away…"

Hey Hungary,

Why are you so upset? Of course you can't have kids, men can't give birth. Has Austria tried? I get this feeling you're going to beat me up if I see you any time soon… But anyways, I don't get what you're freaking out about. You guys already have two super awesome kiddies, don't you? Well, West is only your temporary kid until I get there. But still, I entrusted those kiddies to you guys so don't tell me you'll never be a parent because you already are one so deal with it.

And if you're that desperate, I'm serious, get Austria to give it a go.

East

The woman was staring at her shoes now, "his letter helped a little…he was always there for me and I never even told him how much that meant to me…I never got to say goodbye…I never got to say sorry…I never got to thank him for the flower or to yell at him for being an idiot and now I'll never see Gilbert again. We never really got along that well but he was still my best friend."

The blond furled his brows, "I don't understand why you're telling me all this now. Why didn't you say anything when I first got angry at him?"

Elizabeta rubbed her arm sheepishly, "because this is the Gilbert I knew…and I was hoping that he'd suddenly appear and show you this side of him himself."

"Mon cher." He turned around with a start. He hadn't noticed that Francis had been standing there the whole time. "I think what Elizabeta's trying to get at is that there are many sides to Gilbert and it'd be a shame if you only remembered the one you were mad at. For example, the Gilbert I knew was a brilliant tactician, and a wonderful friend, he gave me mon Mathieu and he was a great brother to you, no?" He must not have looked convinced because Francis continued, "he was planning on coming to the west, you know?"

This caught his attention, "what?"

"After his friend got caught, Gilbert began planning right away. He was afraid."

He raised a brow. He couldn't remember a single instance where he could put the words 'fear' and 'Bruder' in the same sentence. "Of the east?"

The Frenchman frowned, "Of never seeing you again, of never getting out, of risking other people's lives...there were a lot of things he had to take into account. You see, after his friend was caught, his sister came running to him for help. But he couldn't help her, at least not the way she wanted him to."

"Which was…?" Pursing his lips, he wondered if the girl had somehow caused his brother's death.

"She wanted to free her brother from wherever he was being kept…he's probably one of the victims you saw down there. She left the next day and I never heard another word about her ever since. But after that, Gilbert realized that if he continued, the same thing would probably happen to him and he didn't want that so he made plans for his trip to the west. He was planning on surprising you on your birthday but he never made it… Here," he took out a piece of paper, "it's a letter he wrote to you in case anything went wrong. He asked me to give it to you when we were sure he was actually dead. But I have a request."

The German furled his brows as he accepted the note, "what is it?"

"Before you read this, I'd like you wait until you remember exactly who Gilbert was to you. We knew him as an idiot and a great friend, you knew him as a brother when you were younger but at the moment, he's just a stranger to you, right? If you just read this, I'm afraid you won't understand his message. Tu comprends?"

Ludwig nodded; he understood what Francis was trying to get at though he didn't have the faintest idea as to how he was suppose to reacquaint himself with a dead person. But then he noticed the street ahead. It looked vaguely familiar.

"Lui, there are some things in life you have to do as a man…"

Suddenly, he knew what he had to do.

Walking down the street, he told the two, "I'll find you tomorrow then, there's something I have to do here first" and bid them farewell before venturing onwards.

As he went further down, old memories of places began resurfacing. After wandering around aimlessly for awhile, his breath hitched when he stumbled across an old playground with more children climbing over it than he'd ever seen before.

"Hey Lui, do you want to go on the swings? Here, I'll push you. I bet if you swing high enough, you'll be able to see the west!"

"Mattie, his parents never came home and the lady next door told him they got arrested so she brought him out here to play, then, when I found him crying, I tried to help him out but we can't find that lady anymore and he doesn't know how to get home."

"Hm? The park? You all want to go to the park? Makes sense, you're all probably sick of being crammed up in this dinky little place. I suppose I can figure something out, just give me a day to think of something, okay?"

Suddenly, his feet began moving on their own as he turned the corner and wandered from one street to the next. Finally, he reached a cluster of buildings and stared blankly at them, mentally trying to recall which was the one he used to call home.

"Alright Lui, if you ever get lost, you know how to get home, right? The way Mutti taught me was to remember the gigantic yellow painting on the sixth floor and the super colourful curtains on the eighth floor, can you see them? That's our building."

He glanced from building to building before spotting the bright curtains hanging on the eighth floor, and though the yellow painting was no longer there on the sixth, he had no doubt which building used to be his. Making his way inside, he was surprised to see that the lobby was as he remembered it.

The receptionist paid him little attention as he walked around and studied the place. The place was dimly lit even with the sun shining outside, the rickety fan by the corner of the room was still going and the rusty mailboxes continued to line up along the hall towards the staircase. The building never had an elevator installed even after all this time, so he took the stairs up as he'd always done when he was younger. He paused and blinked. No, that wasn't true…

"You tired, Lui? Here, hop on. Don't worry about it, it's only a couple flights, I can take it! I'm awesome, remember?"

Somehow, going up seemed a lot further, and a lot more tiring when he was younger, but now, he climbed his way up without losing his breath even once. It wasn't so bad. They'd always seemed so endless when he was a child…

Making his way down the hall, it felt strange. He didn't know what to expect as he rounded the corner and stood in front of the door. With his hand on the doorknob, he wondered if there was anyone living there now. The last he remembered, the building had been virtually abandoned save for their little group and the Pole and the Lithuanian who'd been relocated for a reason he never understood. Turning the knob, his heart skipped a beat to find it unlocked but upon further inspection, he found that the doorframe had been cracked and broken, almost as though someone had kicked the door open to force their way inside.

Hesitantly, he slowly pushed the door open.

And then there he was: home.

Nya~

Only one chapter left! Sorry if this chapter's confusing to anyone! I'm currently melting in my seat and it's not very fun. Please tell me if there's anything wrong and I'll fix it whenever I get back to my computer. During Soviet occupation, many Poles were relocated to East Germany. Like, buildings at a time. Many East Germans lost their homes and jobs because of this and yea, I don't go into too much detail. On an off note, I find it kind of cute how the Kingdom of Prussia was established on the same day as the unification of Germany. Anyways, off to find a cooler place to lounge around! Thank you readers and reviewers! Enjoy!