Chapter 28: Meetings and Tears

Akihiko ate his toast slowly while his eyes roamed from Goda to Misaki. Both men were very silent, again, but their expressions were even more alerting Akihiko. Misaki was still trying to figure the message to Mio's song, Mixed Nuts. But Goda…he left the Writers' and Editors' party early…without even mentioning it to anyone. Goda kept his eyes always downcast whenever anyone looked at him. Akihiko had enough and said, "Speak, god dammit! Goda!"

Goda slowly looked at Akihiko…Akihiko felt an urge to run over and hug Goda. Goda's face was so sad…pitiful…and…the flare that he had at the beginning of the Uke Trade-Off…was gone. Goda now looked like a defeated soldier. His red eyes no longer even made Misaki kiss him or anything.

Misaki said, "Is there a problem?" His eyes roamed to Goda to Akihiko.

Goda said, "no…nothing. Akihiko, I want to—"

Ding, dong, ding, dong went the doorbell as the men moaned. Akihiko did not want a guest right now since he knew Aikawa would just burst in. Takahiro? No, Takahiro called first…his father? No…his father was a little more considerate than that…some times. Akihiko snarled and went to the door. He slowly turned to Misaki, Goda and Mio. They nodded as they kept a calm profile.

Akihiko went to the door and opened it. He stalled at Aikawa and…some new guy. The guy was dressed like a punk teen as he smirked at Akihiko.

Aikawa said, "Are you busy? I would like to discuss something with you, Akihiko."

Akihiko moved as the pair came in. The new man looked at Goda with a smirk as Akihiko led them to the couches.

Aikawa sat down as the man sat close to her. She said, "Akihiko, this is my new assistant, Benedict Arnold Parjure."

Akihiko looked at him as he sat on the parallel couch from them. He took out a cigarette and said, "Hello, Parjure-san."

Benedict smirked and said, "The pleasure is all mine, I suppose." He turned to Goda and winked.

Goda slowly stood and sat beside Akihiko. He said, "What brings you here?" Akihiko took Goda's hand as Goda rubbed his fingers.

Aikawa saw the motion as her eye brows rose slightly. She smiled brightly and said, "I came to tell you the news about the Uke Trade-Off…" Her hands rubbed each other as she gushed, "The bookstores cannot keep them on the shelves! The book has become one of your best sellers! Even more the Junai Romantica…it is so amazing to me! And to think…your main character is sitting beside you. I suppose you owe Goda a lot."

Goda flinched but said, "Akihiko owes me nothing…all I did this for was the fun of teaching him a lesson and…having him meet my nephew."

Aikawa nodded and said, "Well either way…" She squealed and said, "The company has asked me to ask you…do you mind making the book into a movie!"

Akihiko and Goda stiffened as they turned to each other. Misaki rushed forward and shrieked, "No! No…they are not…this is a joke, right? Please tell me…" Misaki slowly went to the floor in a pleading position and continued, "I beg of you! This book is not that popular…right?"

Mio shook his head and giggled. He said, "You have not even read it, so how do you know what the book is like?"

Misaki slowly turned to him and snarled, "I was in it! I know the game…a little too well…" He blushed and groaned.

Akihiko smirked at Misaki and said, "Misaki, please…what?" His eyes saw a huge grin on Benedict's face. He fully faced Benedict as Benedict said, "nothing…just nothing."

Misaki slowly stood and sat beside Goda. They held hands as Misaki said, "Is there any more bad news…that I need to hide my face from…?"

Aikawa laughed gently and said, "The Uke Trade-Off is brilliant! You should read it…you might be pleasantly surprised to read that the story has only…" She counted three fingers and said, "Three slight lemon moments. Other than that the book is devoid of sex."

Misaki groaned, "That is not the point!"

Aikawa said, "Why is Goda in between you two?"

Akihiko turned as Misaki did as well to Goda. Goda looked at Aikawa as he said, "we are…trying a trio thing."

Aikawa arched a brow and said, "Well…this is interesting."

Goda snarled as he removed his hands from Akihiko's and Misaki's. He said, "what is your problem?"

Aikawa raised her hands in defense and said, "nothing bad…but I must admit…that some things are…unstable." She stared directly into Goda's eyes as Goda shrank into the couch.

Goda said when he turned his eyes away, "things…are hard to fix when…some people do not when to play fair…"

Aikawa opened and closed her mouth. She stood and said, "Goda, outside now." She glared at Goda as Goda slowly turned to her intense glare.

Goda moaned, "I have nothing to say to you."

Aikawa growled and grabbed his arm. She said, "You will listen to me." Aikawa lifted Goda away from Akihiko and Misaki. She smirked at Akihiko and said, "I will borrow Goda for a few hours, as my assistant, Benedict will discuss your other book with you. Until then, good day." They exited the apartment as everyone watched in silence.

Benedict smirked and said, "Aikawa told me that you have been working on this secret book…and you refuse to show her. Why? She is your editor, and her job is to edit your work to be presentable to the public. There is no reason for secrets."

Akihiko slide over to Misaki and grabbed his hand. He rubbed Misaki's fingers as Misaki blushed. Akihiko said, "I…do not know…can I ask you a personal question?"

Benedict stiffened slightly as he said, "Depends…what is it?"

Akihiko looked over his appearance as he said, "do you dress like that…because of a loss that you could not control?"

Benedict's face…three emotions ran across his face very quickly: anger, confusion then…a very sad expression came on his face. He said, "What…brought…that…idea?" His face was twisted from trying to stop the tears and remaining emotionless.

Akihiko said, "This novel…is not mine per se, but…it belongs to a dying teen. A cancer stricken boy…"

Benedict's face made Akihiko stop. His face was crumbling…Benedict was using all his strength to look tough, but he closed his eyes and gulped.

Akihiko said, "You…seen a child die before?"

Benedict's tears fell as he said, "yes…I have…"

Akihiko kissed Misaki's cheek to distract his lover and said, "Mio…can you get Tanko's memoirs?"

Mio slowly moved as he watched Benedict closely. He ran up the stairs as the three men sat still while Mio went into Akihiko's office.

Akihiko could not believe the range of emotions on Benedict's face…the man went from cocky and annoying Goda to this…Benedict sobbed openly as he bent forward to hide his face. His body shivered as the overwhelming tears made him submit to sadness.

Misaki turned to Akihiko and said, "What happened…did you see a child…really?"

Akihiko nodded and said, "Goda…wanted me to meet his dying nephew. I saw him die…" The thought made him shiver as Misaki squeezed his hand affectionately.

They turned to each other and smiled gently. This was the first time they actually looked at each other…even touch…since Goda came into their home. Misaki blushed as Akihiko came for a small kiss. Misaki shivered but his mouth opened more for their embrace of tongues. Akihiko leaned more of his weight onto Misaki as Misaki shakily wrapped his arms around Akihiko. They moaned when they parted.

Akihiko smiled devilishly and said, "I love you."

Misaki turned purple and said, "What an inappropriate—"

Mio came to them and said, "Akihiko…maybe we should allow Parjure to leave?"

Akihiko moaned and turned. His body shivered at Benedict's pale face towards the notebook. Benedict's face was covered in his fresh tears and some more tears fell.

Benedict closed his eyes and gulped. He said, "May I?"

Akihiko nodded as Mio slowly gave the notebook over.

Benedict wiped his tears and looked at the pages. He read them slowly as more tears came. His body shivered and gulped hard as he continued to read slowly. Benedict slammed the notebook and tossed it to the ground. He said, "god…would my…" His voice and body shivered in his new onslaught of tears.

Akihiko gulped as some tears fell down his face. He felt for the man…since he slowly got the idea…Parjure-san's child…could have died like this. The feelings that Akihiko owned should not happen, but how could he not feel sad for a teen that instantly got him to remember the reasons to write? Also…Tanko was so pure and beautiful…it was impossible not to cry about it.

Misaki stared at Akihiko and said, "Usagi…what? Mio…you too…"

Mio was sobbing openly as he lowered to the ground and stared at the notebook. He said, "Tanko…was so beautiful…who cannot cry at his memoirs…are animals without hearts…"

Misaki gulped and hugged Akihiko. The motion made Akihiko stiffen but his arms wrapped around Misaki as they kissed each other gently. Misaki wiped Akihiko's eyes and said, "Maybe…this book should not be published…"

Benedict, Mio and Akihiko said, "no," in unison.

Misaki stiffened at the chorus as Akihiko gently pushed Misaki away. Akihiko turned to Benedict and said, "May I ask…how did your child died?"

Benedict gulped and closed his eyes. He said, "That is a little under the belt…Usami-san."

Akihiko said, "I know Aikawa would not respect this book unlike you…a man that seen death and felt his child crumble in his arms… I might not know Tanko well, but…I want to preserve his memories into a book of cancer patients, families and survivors…like a short story collection. Or I might publish Tanko's memoirs first then the short story collection later…but I need someone who understands it personally. Aikawa would sob and look at the words…never the emotions, the pain, and the power of losing someone so young…so, can you answer my question? If you can…"

Benedict gulped twice and said, "I…adopted a girl with my girlfriend…she was so beautiful… Maddie was her name… She was so energetic, funny, and perfect… But she was about four when…" Tears came down faster as he choked out, "she started to scream…as she held her head…I ran to her and asked her what was wrong. She just looked at me and kept screaming in pain… I rushed her to the hospital and…"

Akihiko's tears continued to fall as he could imagine Tanko in his bed with all those tubes….he shivered as Misaki kept his hand in Akihiko's.

Benedict sobbed for a few minutes as he continued in a tear choked voice, "Maddie…her blood was tested and…she had a brain tumor…the doctor told me that she only had a few weeks left…"

Akihiko covered his mouth with his free hand as Misaki started to sob. Misaki said, "Please…you can stop…if it hurts too much…"

Benedict shook his head and said, "No…I should finish…" He wiped his tears but more came in the place of the old tears. His voice was thick as he continued, "Maddie…slowly lost her energy…and her hair due to the chemo…and slowly…was confided to a hospital bed…"

Mio covered his mouth from sobbing openly, but his face was covered in tears. He gulped and sobbed.

Akihiko could reach his brother's head and gently rubbed it. Mio slipped closer to Akihiko as their hands enjoined. They looked at each other as they turned back to Benedict's blank face.

Benedict licked his lips and continued with a monotone voice, "Maddie…she did not…respond well to the chemo…her body produced the cancer cells faster…she crumbled so quickly…." He yelled, "WHY? Why did god steal my baby girl? She was only four, god dammit! I…watched her die as she died asking me… 'Daddy…why does it hurt…' Her eyes looked at me as her breathing slowly stopped…as I just watched her…" He sobbed more as he curled his legs close to his chest. His last bit was barely audible when he hid his face behind his knees, "after she died…I never saw my girlfriend or my other adopted children after Maddie's funeral…they were afraid of cancer…thinking…was contagious…by touch…" Benedict resumed his crying as everyone else joined him.

Akihiko rubbed Mio's head and held Misaki close to him. Mio stood and went into his brother's lap. The three men hugged tightly as their tears kept falling. Not only for Benedict and his painful past; each of them have experienced seeing or feeling death…even so painful, but their experiences were only a piece of the pain…Benedict had so much more pain…losing a child like that…it hurt all three men just the same as Benedict.

Everyone in the room took a full ten minutes to slowly allow the pain and tears to slowly disappear. Benedict slowly uncurled himself, Akihiko let go of Misaki and Mio, Misaki stood and put water on the stove. Mio kept close to Akihiko and hid his face into his brother's neck. Akihiko gently rubbed his brother's back and cooed, "Mio…please, I need to speak to Parjure-san."

Mio nodded and sat beside Akihiko. His tears slowly kept falling as he said, "I…know a million sorries cannot bring Maddie back but…I am so sorry for your loss."

Benedict slowly smiled and said, "thank you…you look like…you know this pain well…"

Mio gulped and choked, "I lost my lover…to suicide…"

Misaki shrieked and dropped the coffee pot. He shrieked, "NO Mio! Are you…oh my…Mio…" He stood still as Akihiko looked at his face turn from confusion to utter sadness; Misaki gulped and cleaned the mess.

Akihiko turned and looked at Benedict. He said, "Tanko Taka, the boy that wrote that book, wants me to publish that for his family and friends. Can you and you alone, help me publish this book? I know it brings back painful memories…but can you? I need someone who can respect this teen's wishes and make the book into a work of his words…but also…make it publishable for the public."

Benedict slowly nodded and wiped his tears. He said, "I would be honored." He went forward and took the notebook.

Akihiko said, "I have made revisions on my own copy…" He pointed to the stack of papers; some papers were his yaoi novels and other works in the process of being edited by Aikawa. On the very top was Tanko's revision by Akihiko.

Benedict went to the papers and saw the notebook of Akihiko's work. He flipped through the notebook and said, "May I have both? We can discuss this more after the holidays are finished."

Akihiko nodded and stood. He slowly went to Benedict and hugged him. His whisper was for Benedict alone as he said, "Please…if you ever need to stop…email me. Aikawa has it. I will respect your pain and suffering…I only knew Tanko for a few minutes…but his death…as cruel and quick it was…Tanko will be more of a man than I will ever be…"

Benedict hugged Akihiko back and whispered, "I will publish this book. I swear it…not only for Tanko or you…but for all casualties and survivors of cancer…one more memoir is always needed to show the immense emotions that cancer gives people…I swear. This book will be published with us working together."

Akihiko giggled and whispered, "thank you…and I am sorry for your loss…"

Benedict smiled as they parted. He said, "No…thank you."

Akihiko blinked as Benedict said, "This book will be a good thing for me…to remember Maddie and to continue to realize…cancer may take our loved ones away but…the memories will always remain."

They smiled as they shook their hands. Akihiko said, "I also included Mio's short story in my revision…either way you feel is best to publish this book. At least add Mio's story to Tanko's story. You will see very soon."

Benedict nodded and said, "I need to read all the revisions and let you know…by January. I will let you know soon."

Their hands parted as Benedict went to Mio. He said, "Mio is it? Well, I will read your piece and let you know what you need to make it better…okay?"

Mio smirked and nodded as he wiped his tears. He said, "thank you, Parjure."

Benedict sighed and said, "Usami-san, I need to go…I need to…" He gulped as Akihiko nodded.

Akihiko said, "Go if you wish…I will tell Aikawa that you took the work and will complete it for me."

Benedict nodded and looked at Misaki for a few seconds. He smiled and said, "Have a nice day."

Misaki blinked and said, "are you sure you do not want tea?"

Benedict shook his head and said, "No…I will be seeing my boyfriend later. He will probably want to take me out to tea or something. Until we meet again, ado gentlemen."

Akihiko, Misaki and Mio chanted their farewells as Benedict left.

Misaki lifted the tea kettle off the stove as he poured three cups of tea. He took a tray and gave a cup to Akihiko and Mio. He slowly sat on the couch and sipped slowly. His voice trembled as he said, "So…this is what happened during the game? You saw…a teen dying…oh Akihiko…"

Akihiko slowly sat across from Misaki and said, "I am glad I met Tanko…"

Mio nodded after a sip of his tea. He said, "I kissed him."

Misaki stiffened and said, "But…he was dying…"

Mio smirked and said, "cancer is not contagious…he asked for a gift that I could give him…besides… He taught me that death is scary…but…also beautiful."

Akihiko nodded and said, "His writing might be rough but…I hope that his memoirs will reach people…like Tanko reached our hearts…"

Misaki nodded and said, "I wish I could have met him…."

Akihiko smiled and said, "I will let you have the first copy of the memoirs…when it is completed."

Misaki smiled and said, "I cannot wait to read it!"

Mio nodded and said, "me too!"

Akihiko nodded and sipped his tea. He said, "Yes…I wonder what Parjure-san will do or say to fix the memoirs…"

A/N: Here is a small piece of Benedict…he might be an asshole, be a mafia member, but…he has lost a lot as well… Also, as a teaser…Benedict did not visit Maddie's grave in Japan…it was someone else.