Chapter 30: Clarification (part 2)

Goda kept his back to the Aikawas when he said in a low voice, "Shinobu? I destroyed my phone numbers…how did you find my number?"

Shinobu said, "I am gifted, do not forget that. Also…I have been so lonely…I need to hear some Japanese. Can I talk to you for a few minutes?"

Goda sighed and said, "I thought you hated me…have you forgotten the airport fight?"

Shinobu moaned and said, "I am sorry about that…I have done a lot of thinking and…I need some advice."

Goda stalled as the wind blew around him. He smiled from the warmth that Aikawa's coat gave him, and he said, "Well…you found me. I am obligated to listen to you."

Shinobu giggled and said, "Well I suppose, but you could hang up. Please don't. I need to talk to someone…other than people who know me personally…I need…this."

Goda said for Shinobu, "you need non-personal advice about Miyagi, correct?"

Shinobu stopped breathing on the other end and slowly sighed. He said, "Are you psychic?"

Goda continued to walk as he said, "no…just good at guessing. Besides, you two broke up. So, you ran away…in hopes he would chase you?"

Shinobu said, "I would have told him where I have gone, correct? No, I ran away without his knowledge of where I was."

Goda smirked and said, "Well…my psychic abilities are failing me…what a shame. So, do you wish to speak about your issue for advice or…shall we keep playing this game?"

Shinobu giggled and said, "Maybe…we could hang out…when I come back?"

Goda laughed and said, "Yes, I would like that."

Shinobu said, "I am here…I am ten meters in front of you."

Goda stalled and looked up. He dropped his phone when he saw Shinobu in a leather coat.

Shinobu changed…his hair was grown out a little, his ears had more earrings, his coat was smothered with patches, and he lowered his Goda phone. He nodded to continue their walk in the snow clad park.

Goda picked up his phone and followed Shinobu.

They walked in silence as Shinobu said, "I am glad that I saw you first."

Goda smirked and said, "Why? I thought you always hated me for the game."

Shinobu sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He said, "I did…I hated everyone including myself…but then…I read Usami-san's book. Goda…did you really have Usami-san see you dying godson and…try to destroy him for his seme powers over Misaki?"

Goda sighed and said, "Well…in short, yep."

Shinobu laughed and said, "well…along the way…you fell in love with Usami-san and Misaki, right?"

Goda turned to Shinobu as Shinobu smirked gently. Shinobu said, "I need to know the man…or should I say, woman before me."

Shinobu stalled when Goda did. Goda groaned, "you knew…how long?"

Goda was hugged by Shinobu…they just held each other as Shinobu said, "I know…what it is like to hide from family, your lover, and even yourself… It hurts, but…I knew from the moment I looked at you. I just had a feeling, this is not a man…but why I am attracted to him? Simple came the answer after I went away from the storm…"

Shinobu finished, "you always had a girly way of explaining things…a man always 'gets to the point' and moves on…"

Goda sighed and said, "There are some men that explains their plans…but…really? You knew from…the onsen that I was a woman?"

Shinobu nodded and said, "Yes…you showed your family crest on the daggers that you threw at Miyagi. I knew…the elder Takas would not toss daggers like that. So, that left Nemos, Hetzumi or Chicco. I naturally picked Hetzumi…since Hozumi is close to the original spelling."

Goda sighed and said in a feminine voice, "smart little spy, aren't you?"

Shinobu gasped and fell back after he released Goda. He started with his gray eyes enlarged for a few seconds as he slowly calmed down. His voice was even when he said, "you…do not understand homosexuality as well as you think…if you are a woman. You were just an obsessive fangirl over…what is it called…yaoi? Yes, yaoi fangirl trying to help three couples—"

Goda snarled, "If you want the facts! Yes, I am more feminine that I care for…but that is not the point of the game. I only wanted to destroy Usami-san's heart, soul, or even his career by the game. Unfortunately, I knew acting on my emotions without a plan was stupid. So, I developed a game and found players… That is all."

Shinobu sat up and said, "So…what happened to Nowaki, Hiroki, Miyagi and I…were unplanned?"

Goda nodded and said, "I only wanted Usami-san…everyone else was a bonus to pain…sorry."

Shinobu opened and closed his mouth. He said, "What about all your advice on love? What about your rules? What about all of this? Why…did you ask us to play your game?"

Goda sighed and said in his original masculine voice, "well…I only said what was on my mind. I never meant for relationships to end, but sometimes love is not properly planned or built on trust. That is why I created a game to test lovers… At first, my true intentions were to ruin Usami-san into seeing love is not simple as his Boys' Love novels show. As soon as the game and players were set, I saw the same puzzles as Usami-san's little issues…love planned, but not brought to proper levels of trust or respect. So, I spout out a few pieces of advice and force a few rules…that force the seme to become weaker than the uke…"

Shinobu stood and said, "Why?"

Goda said simply, "semes are usually the leaders in sexual acts and romantic adventures. But this way…the semes had to resist temptation with the knowledge of a new uke before them…this should have caused more than I expected. All of you have at least kissed each other…but no sex. This proves that all of you have a level of respect and love for your original partners, but the ending…your betrayal…the little issues that appeared in the game… Even I, gifted as I am, cannot make all of that happen. All of you, each other players, made choices beyond my control. I just made the rules, gave you a prize, and watched…I did not force anyone. Even if I did, the end results would not have been the same."

Shinobu sighed and said, "That is why I stayed in England all this time…I need to clear my head and truly see…that you were trying to help us. Sure, you were rough and cruel…but you made some valid points…but I must ask you…"

Goda and Shinobu's eyes reached each other as the snow slowly stopped. They breathed small clouds of warmth as their eyes slowly blinked.

Shinobu said, "Will you create another Uke Trade-Off?"

Goda blinked and turned away. He said, "Never, once is enough."

Shinobu sighed and said, "thank god! I was worried that…you might have another game…"

Goda said simply, "what did indicate that? I was very clear and concise by saying I would not return to Japan…"

Shinobu said, "Then why are you here?"

Goda moaned and said, "I…am not sure anymore."

Shinobu crossed his arms and said, "Well…I am done with you…for now." He turned and walked away.

Goda called, "Shinobu! Are you going to reunite with Miyagi?"

Shinobu stalled and turned slightly. His eyes were determined as he said, "if Miyagi wants me…I will not deny him the pleasure that I want just as badly…but if not. I have a girlfriend."

Goda stiffened and slowly said, "what…I thought you wanted advice about Miyagi…what happened at England? You seem so…different."

Shinobu said, "I finally took some time and looked inside. You should try it sometime…you might find a reason why you came back or…why you cry all the time."

Goda looked away and back to Shinobu's eyes…this was not the same man that hit him at the airport…a new, revised and more learned Shinobu stood before him. He said, "Fine, I have a question for you."

Shinobu turned to better look at Goda as Goda said, "all you wanted from me is information about the Uke Trade-Off…are you satisfied about what you learned?"

Goda watched the small changes in Shinobu's face: slight confusion to pondering. Shinobu blinked a few times and said, "No…I want to know more but…that is probably all you are going to give me."

Shinobu stood still as Goda went to him. They stared at each other and just breathed calmly.

Goda said, "What else if left to say? I have explained plenty…also Usami-san's book…I read some of it. The thing is very accurate in some points…I am impressed."

Shinobu said, "Well…I really want to know…why did you come back?"

Goda sighed, "The reason…is fizzling out."

Shinobu said, "You fell in love with a player…Misaki? Right?"

Goda sighed and said, "Are you a detective or something?"

Shinobu giggled and said, "No…just guessing like you."

Goda and Shinobu laughed as they shook hands. Shinobu said, "Please, don't be a stranger. Come on over some time. "

Shinobu quickly took out a piece of paper and wrote down his address. Goda took it and smiled.

Goda said, "Shinobu…if you love Miyagi…do me one favor when he returns to you."

Shinobu nodded as Goda said, "Never tell him about any of this. I prefer the only acknowledged ones are the ukes and Usami-san. Not that Miyagi would respect my word or actions…the man hates me. Nowaki…no, he is too gentle to see my reason for hatred towards Usami-san's work. No, let this be between us. Okay?" Goda held out a pinky and said, "Swear it?"

Shinobu smirked and said, "Always."

They shook their pinkies as Shinobu said, "I have to go…can I call you soon?"

Goda nodded and said, "I could use a confidant…lately…I have been so consumed by my own thoughts. It is not even funny…"

Shinobu opened his mouth but his phone rang. He took it and said, "Camille, hay girl. Yeah, I will be there soon. Bye sweet cheeks." He hung up and smirked at Goda.

Goda said plainly, "you do not love her."

Shinobu shrugged and said, "Does it matter? I am playing the field and enjoying myself. I am not sure if love is part of the game but…"

"You will always love Miyagi, I can tell." Goda said.

Shinobu sighed and said, "Yes but…I am not returning to him. He has to come after me this time."