And to make it worse, he felt pained just from the thought of it.
He was snapped out of trance, as Tolle nudged him with concern
"Hey, are you okay?" Tolle was starting to shake him as it seemed that he didn't feel his nudge at all
"Yeah, I'm okay, don't worry," he answered with a small voice, lying a little as his face wrapped in a fake smile
"I know, it's abnormal, isn't it? She's probably insane you know? That Lacus Zala," Tolle shuddered, "I don't care if she's pretty. There're still many girls with pretty face and healthy mind, like Milly or Fllay Allster,"
At the sound of Fllay Allster, Kira actually felt the nerve to vomit
That crimson-haired girl, was as fierce as her hair's color. She stalked him everywhere, and had insanitary demands that everyone had to obey. But strangely, everyone thought that it was normal, since the majority of girls in his school behaved that way. She liked to snap at any time and anywhere, had a cocky attitude that seriously was getting better each day passed and extremely childish. He didn't know the reason why Fllay would stalk him, but when he couldn't bear it any longer and felt that there's no way out, he actually did ask her to be his girlfriend and that she happily became his girlfriend.
However it was just for a week and he called it off with abhor written all over. He at first thought that if he became her boyfriend, then he could control that bad attitude of hers. But her cocky attitude just became even more uncontrollable. It seemed that he had taken the wrong choice to become her boyfriend.
She was clingy and always called every minute and hour just to know what he had been doing, where he was, and with whom he was at that time. In this relationship, she was the one who made the decision and that's final. Just for a few days, and he could not bear it any longer. The fact that he never really had any feelings for her just made the decision was even more solid.
It was just a relationship that could not work, with her constantly declaring her pride, and him hiding his dislike of her attitude. There was nothing in this relationship, no kiss, no holding hand, no peck, no anything. It was relationship of a master and his servant, where the servant had to be always available when the master needed him, and the master would get rid of the servant when he no longer needed him.
Just what kind of person could bear something like that for long?
It was in the first year that he dated her for just a week. After they broke up, he practically became famous afterwards, considering how Fllay kept on screaming at him in the public places for actually had nerve to break up with her. From what he heard and saw, her behavior worsened. He didn't know if her abusive nature was her expression of love, but if that was, then seriously, Fllay was the one with unhealthy mind.
"That's right, talking about Fllay, you ever dated her for a while, didn't you? You're very famous back then, all people kept on gossiping about you," Tolle grinned, "How did it feel?"
"I don't want to talk about it Tolle," Kira sighed, resumed his walking and Tolle tagged along, "It was a very unpleasant experience and I wish it'll never happen anymore,"
"Ah come on Kira," Tolle whined helplessly, "How come I know if that's really an unpleasant experience if you don't tell me in details? Don't keep curious person in bay you know!"
"I will tell you one day, but not now, Tolle," Kira sighed while silently massaging his throbbing head. Not now, not now when he still couldn't digest the rumor that marked some important change within his chest.
How would he face her again without feeling awkward? Then, he remembered her words in their first day in second year.
"Thank you for not being ignorant to me."
It was a very interesting statement. For him, talking with a classmate was a common thing, even though he was never that socially active to start with. But for her, the one who had been deserted for long, a person who seemed to have newly found courage in her second year, it was a very helpful beginning.
However, it was unknown for him if on that day, she really talked to him as classmate, or as soon-to-be family. And if that time she felt that it was okay to talk to him because he was her soon-to-be family, or because he was a classmate who was immune of the rumor that spread around?
His previous class was a very secretive one, a class which hiding all scars behind all smiles and laughter. They could be smiling and laughing, but then he knew that maybe he was wrong. She probably had fallen hard and deep into mud silently, without given a chance to explain the truth herself. His previous classmates probably had shoved her into that deep mud in disgust, while pretending to show that they had tried to help her, but they failed to do so. In fact, they maybe never really help her to get up, or just made it even worse.
Backstabbers. It was worse than being foul-mouthed in front.
He frowned. If that's a truth, then it was a really cruel one. But he needed the truth, something that would make him in ease, even if it hurt him even further. Because if the rumor was true, then what about Cagalli, Athrun and their new future? It was something that could not be taken lightly. Not him, not anyone.
He had to talk to her as soon as possible.
Unknown to him, fate had bestowed a really good opportunity for him. It was a beginning of a new semester, and their new homeroom teacher was an extremely strict one who liked to set things secure beforehand instead of dreadfully trying to cool the fire down.
That's why he was here, sitting the new arrangement setting of seats, with a certain pastel-haired lady sat gracefully beside him. He kept on stealing glances at her, feeling that she somehow was uncomfortable with this. But inside, he could feel him grinning from ear to ear, something that only a certain Tolle capable of doing.
The class was extremely furious with this condition and kept on complaining. Kira concluded that it was because there're some of them who sat with partners that they hate. Miss Badgiruel had sternly pointed finger then and there to arrange the seats suited to her liking, and didn't accept any objection.
"Listen! It's all for your own sake I do this! I don't want to see you all fail in the end of year, so accept this with chin up! Understand?"
The students were still seething with dislike, glared to their respective partners, except for a tremendously satisfied Kira. That way, he could finally talk even more with her, and knew the secrets that had been hidden for so long from him.
"Miss Badgiruel! I can't study if you pair me up with him!" a girl in his class cried with distaste, "He will keep on teasing me and winking at me in every subject even before you have this seat arrangement! I want the farthest seat away from him!"
That voice K. Wasn't it Mirillia's voice? He snapped his head as quick as possible to the source of that voice. Then it made sense when he looked who her partner was. Tolle was leering victoriously at her, indicating that he was certainly satisfied with this condition. If the lunch bell came and the seats were indifferent, then Kira was sure that he would hear more about this God-wants-me-to-be-together-with-her nonsense.
Miss Natarle Badgiruel raised her brow before she observed the expression on Tolle's face who certainly looked more like a pervert who had successfully snagged a lacy panty. It was obvious already that Miss Badgiruel also disgusted at Tolle's expression that, instantly she pointed a finger again.
To his surprise, it was pointed to him.
"You, exchange a seat with her!" she managed her tone low and clear
But for Kira, it screwed his plan. Lacus also looked somehow surprised, but she was still and just looked at him for a while, cerulean eyes asked at him about what he would do next.
No, he would not exchange this seat with anyone! He was not used to fight for something, but if he had to fight, then he would fight for this seat.
Even more, he would not waste this golden opportunity! He bit his lower lip tightly, expression serious and unwavering, before standing, rigid and straight
"I-I have problem with my eyes Miss Badgiruel," he said quite convincingly, "I don't buy a glasses yet, but I can't see clearly if you put me in the back seat!" he was lying indeed, but it was very lucky that this seat was in the front that, he could make a reason out of it. His previous chosen seat was before also in the front side because he wanted to listen to teachers more thoroughly Xeven though lately he had reverie syndrome, so it made all solid proofs to his own reasoning.
Miss Badgiruel seemed convinced with his reason, "Alright, but next week you have to buy a glasses already, you understand?" he nodded, spinning his head to find new ways to cover his lie.
Lacus' eyes were wavering as she watched Kira slowly sat back on his seat. She could sense a little dishonesty within his voice, but didn't ask even more about it and just waited for a right moment to ask later.
"Then, you," Miss Badgiruel pointed a finger to someone beside his table, a male with silver tresses who scowled almost everyday, "exchange a seat with her!"
Kira stole a glance at Tolle who paled instantly, blood was drained from his face as Yzak got up and growled, muttered something like, "Damn, a sissy asshole," while Miriallia rejoiced, realizing that she could sit beside Lacus since their tables were side to side, walking away lightly with mirth floating around her.
"Listen Miss Haww," Miss Badgiruel said, "If your grades drop, I would certainly return you back to that seat in back seat," she warned Mirrialia dangerously, eyes narrowed into a slit
"Thank you Miss Badgiruel, but it'll never happen, I promise," her face lit up, before it was clouded with despair when she heard a voice purred in her left side.
"Hey sweetie, you gotta stuck up with me," it was coated with sugar and so sickeningly sweet that Mirrialia wanted to puke in disgust
But this time, she was sure that Miss Badgiruel would never take complain for the second time, because when she looked at his face, it was completely neutral and he looked like an innocent angel.
She groaned without sound while leaning her head on the desk. It was like escaping a crocodile's mouth just for leaping into a lion's mouth. Mirrialia Haww never knew anything about Dearka Elsman before, however when he let that side of his slip, now she knew exactly that, moving into this seat was certainly not a good idea either.
"For homework, please do the lessons from page 13 until 17. I will check it tomorrow,"
Just that, and every student in the class groaned in anguish. The mathematic teacher, Murrue Ramius chuckled, certainly felt amused when she could make the students felt hopeless more than ever. After all, it was one of accomplishments that a teacher needed to do anyway.
"Now, now, it's not a hard homework, is it? It's just algebra after all," the students looked more even horrified. Yes, a teacher could say so because he was a teacher. A teacher was supposed to master whatever he taught after all.
"I have to go to office for an urgent meeting. I hope you behave well yourselves, and please don't come home earlier before the bell rings, okay?" she then stared rather sharply at the students, "I entrust your friends with you, chairman!" Sai Argyle, their class chairman answered with pride gleamed in his voice.
Lacus glanced at her right side, found a certain chocolate-head young boy looked not even a little fazed. He must be someone who liked to learn a lot, her eyes softened when she thought of this. It reminded her so much of someone, someone who held a dear position in her heart.
"Say Kira, do you like mathematic?" she leaned on her elbow when unconsciously she uttered the question
He glanced back at her before he focused on the textbook, somehow reminded with the rumor earlier, "Yeah, I like it a lot, even though I like computer subject more,"
Then he peered curiously, "And you? What subject that you like the most?"
He could make out a little blush forming on her face before it disappeared a split second later, "Oh, I like music. I love to sing very much," her face could be seen radiate a little when she said, "sing". Maybe, just maybe, it was something that was so important, that every time she said it, her face would bloom radiantly.
So, Kira concluded that, if her face lit up suddenly, then it meant she was talking about something that she loved very much.
"So, do you join the choir club?" he asked, returning back to his work, wanted to finish the homework so that he didn't have to do it at home
"No, I join the light music club," she tucked a stray of hair behind her ear when she also started to scribble on her book, beginning to work her homework too
"Light music club? I remember they gave away some CDs last year," he gasped, "So the singer is you?"
"You can say so," she chuckled, "But no one knows, since we each use stage names, it's very thrilling and exciting that you can be another person,"
"Oh, so this 'blue lake' singer is you, is that correct?" Kira turns his head to look at her, feeling an amount of admiration toward her
"Yes, my name means 'lake', and the 'blue' comes from the color of my eyes. My friends in the light music are the ones who give me this stage name so I'm very thankful to them," Lacus also stopped scribbling and tilted her head at him, eyes turned a little sad
"But to avoid any serious thing, every time we have to perform live, we always use masks, you see," she sighed a little, "The rumor will hurt light music club badly if they know the truth," she whispered quietly that Kira had to move closer to hear what she said
"I see," Kira also sighed, "But light music club's album was quite good. Are the songs original songs? I never heard them anywhere,"
"Exactly!" she beamed suddenly, "Light music club has a very talented song maker! Without her, our light music club will certainly crumble!"
"But without a good singer, a good song worth nothing, you know?" he could feel himself grin when he saw her face slowly reddened a little, "Your voice suits very well with the songs!"
She smiled gently at his compliment and then she shook her head a little, denying his praise herself, "No, I'm just merely a singer borrowed to deliver the song. Because we have been together for so long, we know how to make a good song together!"
He was somehow stunned with her statement. If that was restated, then it applied on the condition that they were as well. Because Lacus and her older brother had been together for so long, then they knew each other already too well. And him? Just a stranger, who would soon become her family. And the notion somehow made him feel cold.
He stared at her intensely, he had to know the truth, something that he had to know himself before anyone else.
"How about we come home together after bell rings if you don't mind? I-I have to buy glasses," he reasoned as quick as possible as not to cause suspicion, "I can walk you home, your family maybe will not mind since K I'll become their family too, right?" he ended things with doubt lingering, but her sharp shake of head quickly shattered his insecurity.
"No, it's wonderful! They won't mind, I believe," she smiled at him, her eyes twinkled with festiveness
"Thank you Lacus," he could feel his stomach churned, dreading for something to happen
"You're welcome," she still retained that smile, the smile that made his stomach churned even more
They returned to work their homeworks, but Kira was sure he wouldn't finish the homework as fast as usual, with his mind got occupied with the upcoming events
Was that out of anxiety, or out of excitement, he didn't exactly need or want to know.