So Cold

You're so cold
Keep your hand in mine
Wise men wonder while
Strong men die

Show me how it ends it's alright
Show me how defenseless you really are
satisfied and empty inside
Well, that's alright, let's give this another try

You're so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hand on me one last time

It's alright

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Naraku stretched his arms and legs. They were beginning to work as they were supposed to. His back was still a little stiff, though. He lowered his hands to touch the soft grass. A small smile was playing on his lips.

It truly had been a delightful start for his new life. Seeing Sesshoumaru all worked up like that was enough to make him feel refreshed. But he really should do something about that attitude of his. Sesshoumaru was being unnecessarily difficult. Although, now that he thought about it, he could have been worse. At least he hadn't tried to kill him again. That might have turned out bad.

Naraku had been more than pleased when he had seen Sesshoumaru on the meadow. Their meadow. There was no way Sesshoumaru would have come there if he hadn't been thinking about him. That much was obvious. Now all Naraku would have to do was to get him to admit it. That might be slightly problematic, if you put it nicely. Sesshoumaru was not the most cooperative type, but that, in a way, just added to his charm.

Naraku sighed. He had thought that he'd take things slow with Sesshoumaru. He had planned to make Sesshoumaru slowly get used to him. That he would follow him like a shadow until Sesshoumaru would get so used to his presence that he could no longer live without him. Perhaps a little too ambitious plan, but it was a good one nonetheless.

Unfortunately it now seemed like that course was impossible to take. Naraku finally realized that even though he had been born again, there was no way even death could get rid of his twisted personality. In a way, Naraku was very happy to know that. It's always nice to know that you're familiar with yourself. It would take too much time to get to know his own personality again, it was enough work to get to know the true Sesshoumaru.

Talking about true Sesshoumaru, he really had been gorgeous. Naraku had wanted nothing more than to push him down and have his way with him (yet again). It was a pity his body hadn't been working with full capacity. If his body had been fully recovered, there was no way Sesshoumaru would have been able to resist. Naraku could be very persuasive when it came to that sort of thing, and no matter what Sesshoumaru said, he was weak for him. Naraku knew it. That little shiver had been so incredibly adorable when he had kissed him. The punch afterwards had not been, though. That angelic demon should really learn how to be a bit nicer. (That would never happen but one can always hope.)

The spider on the grass chuckled at his own thoughts. Yeah right, who was he to say to anyone that they should be nicer, when he himself was planning to make his beloveds life more than little difficult instead of even trying to act lovey-dovey with him. Besides, the image of Sesshoumaru acting like a brainless woman in love was quite a nauseating thought. That had nothing to do with anything… Anyway, what was a good relationship without a little suffering, eh?

If he needed to find some justification for his actions, he could always plead to the fact that Sesshoumaru had been even more difficult than normally after Naraku had once tried to be nice to him. Apparently nice and loving lovemaking was not Sesshoumaru's forte. And neither was it his, so that's it. Well, it had been nice, yeah, but there was this certain…excitement… in making it a bit more kinky.

It was just that before he could get his hands on that delicious body, he would have to break through the white beauty's cold appearance. That guy could be hard as a marble statue if he wanted, and not in a deliciously dirty way Naraku preferred. Now that Sesshoumaru had decided he didn't want to have anything to do with Naraku, it might be more than slightly difficult to get through to him. Best would be if Sesshoumaru were to be the one to seek him. Oh, that was a wonderful thought, not likely, but wonderful. That was something to aim for.

Naraku closed his eyes. The soft hay under his head smelt like morning dew. It was a familiar scent. He had often lain there after his nights with Sesshoumaru. That person was always quick to leave, but Naraku always stayed. He used to lie there and breathe the scents that were still lingering in the air. It had smelled like morning dew, grass, sex and Sesshoumaru. Now, too, it smelled like Sesshoumaru there. Apparently he had been there quite a while. The scent was still able to make him hard.

How pathetic of him, getting hard over lingering scent and a punch of hay. Oh well, he couldn't help it. Those things brought with them certain memories that were hard to ignore. Naraku brought his hand to his mouth so that the fingertips touched his lips. He could still feel Sesshoumaru soft skin on them. His body had been hot against his fingers and yet his neck had been cold under his lips. He had felt a sudden and a rather surprising need to wrap his arms tightly around the person in front of him and make him feel warm again.

He opened his eyes and looked up to the sky that was now bright and filled with sunlight. It was funny, now that he really thought about it; he couldn't remember ever seeing Sesshoumaru under such a light. In his mind he always had Sesshoumaru illuminated with moon's cold light. That person was so unapproachable that it seemed fit.

Two birds flew across the sky. They sang their greetings to the morning. Naraku watched them go and thought about how defenseless creatures they were. Just like Sesshoumaru. Sure, he was strong and capable of defending himself and cut the enemy's throat. But there was something in his eyes that Naraku hadn't noticed before, perhaps he hadn't been paying enough attention. It was like a small shard that he hadn't been able to catch. It made him want to rip him bare and make him show his most defenseless state, no matter what it would cost.

There had been this look in his eyes when Naraku had held him just moments ago. There had been satisfaction and yet something empty in his golden eyes. Naraku wasn't sure what to think of it. Was such a thing even really possible? But possible or not, he was sure he had seen just that, and when it came to Sesshoumaru, Naraku had a feeling that nothing was impossible.

Such a complicated person that Sesshoumaru. Naraku smirked again. Oh, he really wanted to make him surrender completely and see what was hidden behind the cold mask of indifference. He remembered what Sesshoumaru had looked like the last time they had spent the night together. Come to think of it, the last time had been quite some time ago, at the time when Naraku had managed to get Sesshoumaru agree to that silly game of 'don't-make-any-sounds-or-you'll-love-me'.

Well, it hadn't gone exactly like he had planned, but he had gotten to see Sesshoumaru – almost – defenseless. A shiver ran down Naraku's spine. His body felt relaxed and yet tense.

Bugger, he really shouldn't be thinking such things. He pouted and wished that the birds would go off somewhere. He didn't like the idea of being watched by birds when he was about to do something that he only wanted Sesshoumaru to see. Now that was a bit perverted thought. The smirk found its way back on his face. Now there was no going back, the images of flustered Sesshoumaru kept flashing in his mind with rapid speed. He could hear the heavy breathing and quiet (and not so quiet) moans and groans and other voices that fit the lewd, dirty images.

He looked down to his groin. Yup, he was hard. Oh well, he just had to deal with it by himself like he had suspected. Sesshoumaru was obviously not in the mood to help him at the moment and it wasn't like he could go and find someone else. He had a feeling that that would not be the best way to get Sesshoumaru's trust. Well, something trust-like. Naraku wasn't sure what these things were called but it was quite likely that Sesshoumaru would never actually trust him. He really was smart.

Back to business… There was something that he needed to take care of. Let out of his system so to speak. Kukuku.

It was time to make some use of his excellent imagination. It was just unfortunate that the scenery he was imagining so vividly would always stay only inside his head. It was close to impossible that it would ever come true. Such a sad, cruel reality.

The beautiful and purely fictional picture he had in mind was none other than Sesshoumaru doing some skilled fellatio. Naraku almost purred. He truly wished he could someday witness it in reality. At least the image in his head was wonderfully arousing and dirty. Though, perhaps Sesshoumaru's eyes wouldn't be quite so…eager…and unfocused…and he probably wouldn't let any sperm drip down his jaw…he'd lick it all…

Most likely Sesshoumaru would do it in an it's-not-like-I-have-a-choice manner. His eyes would be hard and focused as he'd suck Naraku's length with his hot and wet mouth, licking it with his talented tongue. Naraku slid his hand down his body to touch his already leaking erection mimicking the movements the imaginary yookai lord did in his mind. His hand gripped tighter and thumb swept over the tip. In his mind he thrust deep into Sesshoumaru's throat and he accepted him without any resistance. (It was his fantasy, so it could happen…)

Sesshoumaru would moan with pleasure while sucking him and Naraku would play with his twitching hole. Oh no! He couldn't come yet! Man, dying really lowers one's tolerance…

Ah, dying was a good thought, now he could continue.

Okay, so where was he. Sesshoumaru's hole, right. So it was twitching. And wet, let's not forget wet. Wet is good.

Not yet you good for nothing! Naraku almost growled to his erection.

Then he stopped altogether. First sign of incurable madness: you start talking to your penis. Not good.

Sesshoumaru's mouth let go of his about to burst cock. He licked his red lips and looked up to Naraku, eyes determined. "Come inside me", his husky voice whispered.

And then Naraku spilled a full load all over his own hand.

He slumped to the ground and shook his hand slightly disgusted with himself. Damn it, he had become such a pathetic creature. And what had that been exactly? His thoughts hadn't stayed on one train of thought very long and what was even worse, he had cum so embarrassingly quickly! First he was about to, then he thought of dying and was almost soft, and the second after the white beauty in his head said something unfair and he lost it. What a letdown.

Still, it was a shame that he could never get the real Sesshoumaru to say something sexy like that… That deserved a deep sigh.

Naraku finally opened his eyes. It was fully bright now. He turned his head to look around. He let out a small huff. Bloody birds were sitting on a tree branch staring right at him. Naraku waved his sperm covered hand. "Shoo!" he hissed at them between his teeth.

The birds sang a song of amusement and flew up to the sky. Naraku on the other hand stayed in the meadow and dreamed that his hand was covered with someone else's (Sesshoumaru's) hand instead of his own body fluids.

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The wonderful song is Breaking Benjamin's So Cold. Love love love that band, as you will see in the future... If you have some bands/singers in mind whose lyrics you think I should fall in love to, tell me.

But but but... This is embarrassing... I wanted to make a long hot scene where Naraku plays with himself but as it turned out, didn't really work. How the hell should I know how it happens exactly?? Is there someone who'd like to tech me how to write a proper lemon? I really want to write them *crying* I have some wonderful things planned out but I can't write them at this level... If there is a guy out there who's reading this, I beg of you to contact me and tell me about this from your point of view (meaning masturbation for example ^^). Though, you'll have to prepare yourself to talk dirty 'cause honestly, I have no boundaries whatsoever. (I can't ask my boyfriend. He thinks I'm freak enough already...)

Love, Val