Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who - that should be quite obvious, otherwise I'm sure I could write far better for the poor British accents I attempted to put forth. Oh yeah, and I'd be bloody rich. Anyhow, please don't sue - my car is useless, my house is small, and my dogs are giant pains in the arse, but they're all I have.
A/N: Try not to judge too unfairly, it's been a long time since I've published a fiction and this is my first for the Doctor Who Universe. In short, breaking in to a new fandom is utterly terrifying… so please be kind. And yeah, I've watched enough to know this is utterly unreal and would never happen, but I found it a comforting thought whilst mourning my dear Rose.
Loophole
By: Danae Bowen
"Golden slumbers kiss your eyes,
Smiles await you when you rise.
Sleep,
pretty baby,
Do not cry,
And I will sing a lullaby.
Cares you know not,
Therefore sleep,
While over you a watch I'll keep.
Sleep,
pretty darling,
Do not cry,
And I will sing a lullaby"
His voice was low and gentle as he rocked the infant in his arms, his lyrical lullaby wrapping her in invisible blankets of comfort. His warm gaze devoured the sight of her; a baby girl with impossibly large brown eyes - eyes he swore could see right through him, right through to his soul. She settled against him, immediately at ease - three hours old and yet she trusted him completely.
"That's right, sweet girl, you close those beautiful eyes and let me watch over you now. I promise you, no, promise isn't strong enough, I swear to you that I will always be here for you." He lowered his voice to a soft whisper which floated on breath that barely brushed her ear, "I will never hurt you." A soft buzzing filled the room, a gentle touch to her back and the baby's eyes opened, meeting his with surreal attention of which she shouldn't have been capable. "I will never allow you to be hurt." He shifted her so that her ear was pressed against his left heart; a coo escaped her lips, eyes closing once again.
"This time I won't let you fall."
He settled into a chair in the corner of the hospital nursery, never allowing the tiny child free of his arms. Nurses came and left, music by Belinda Carlysle snuck in from the orderly station in snippets from a radio, psychic paper was easily at hand for the few questions he was asked. Nurses wheeled bassinets to and from the room, but he never wavered in his promise. This infant's head never touched a pillow her first hours of life, instead she dozed to the sound of sweet lullabies and the beating of two hearts.
vvvvvvvvvv
It was wrong. Very, very wrong and he knew it. If the universe could see him now, he knew the great punishment that would come down on his head for his actions, but he couldn't help himself. He had suffered in silence for ages, knowing the path they'd taken had been the correct one for her - but now, when silence surrounded him instead of her lyrical voice, he needed to be selfish.
He needed her back.
So, when a child with long, dark pigtails ran across his path, he shifted slightly so the tiny form bumped into his legs and fell to her bum. Looking around at the crowds of shoppers milling about, he smiled to himself - no one had, or would notice his actions.
"Well, hello," he smiled down at the child, dark eyes sparkling as he reached a hand out to her, lifting her to her feet.
"Hello," she said brightly, brushing herself off.
"I don't think you're supposed to be running off by yourself, sweetheart. Where's your mum, then?"
She shrugged, belligerently. "Dunno, off with Uncle Walt, I s'pose."
"Mmm, and I know for a fact, little one, when she realizes you're gone all the heat of the sun won't keep her from finding you. Aren't you afraid she'll be upset?"
She shrugged again. "My mum doesn't scare me." She paused. "Not much."
He chuckled. "You're not supposed to lie to strangers."
She looked up at him then, her warm brown eyes seeing so much more than the other hundred humans in the shopping center combined. "Are you a stranger, then? Don't I know you?"
Her question was asked innocently, the answer to which could change her very life, but he couldn't bring himself to lie. Half truths would have to do for now. "Sure, sweetheart, you know me. You know me better than anyone in this whole universe." He smiled down at her. "I was there the very day you were born and held you in my arms until your mum and dad came to take you home from hospital."
She giggled softly, brushing a loose lock of hair from her eyes. "Oi, and you were there when Willy Peters stole his dad's car 'n hit me on my bike!"
He straightened with surprise, blinking, his eyes flashing pride for her recollection and observation. "Yep. I was, that."
"What'd you do to my back, then? I 'member hittin' my 'ead, wakin' up, 'n you were writin' something there." She cocked her head to the side, full of curiosity.
"Ah, my dear, it's not the time for you to know yet," he leaned in closer, whispering in her ear, "That's why you can't see it, y'know? 'Cause it's not time yet."
"When'll it be time?"
"Oh, not for a few years yet. Not till you're this tall," He lifted his hand to his chest, displaying her height, "And your hair is blonde like your mum's," He reached out and tugged playfully on a pigtail. "And not until you're really, truly, not afraid of what she'll say. That's when you'll be able to see what I've written."
She wrinkled her nose, pouting out her lips. "But I wanna know now!"
"And rightly so, my curious little spitfire. But - you can't." He cocked his head to the side, listening to something in the distance. "I think your mum's noticed you're gone."
Her eyes flashed fear, quickly looking across the sea of people, obviously expecting to see her mum raging through the crowds like an angry bear.
"Not to worry, you'll live through this, I promise." He winked at her. "But, I need your permission to place the next scribble, little miss. How about it, then? Before your mum gets here and chases me off?"
She giggled and turned her back on him, offering up her skin. With trembling fingers he slipped the small scrap of cloth just off her shoulder, working quickly. A slight whir and a feather light touch to her flesh and he straightened her out, just in time to hear the crowds milling to attention.
"Nick of time too, I think." He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head, and lowered his voice to a whisper. "Be seeing you, Rose Tyler."
"How'd you…" She looked up at him curiously, only to find out she was talking to herself. He'd already gone, melting into the crowd as if he'd never been there in the first place.
"ROSE!"
She jumped a foot in the air, and chewed on her lip nervously, her devious little mind working quickly. It took only a moment to bring large crocodile tears to her big chocolate eyes and the six year old turned towards the sound of her mother's shriek.
"Mummy!" She called back, calculated terror put into her voice as she let the tears overflow and pour down her cheeks.
If nothing else, Rose Tyler was the princess of self preservation.
At this age at least.
vvvvvvvvvv
He paced the control room of the TARDIS uneasily. His mind was racing.
"Stupid, Time Lord!" he hissed at himself, shaking his head. "What've you gone and done? Said too much, that's what!"
He turned swiftly, pacing another direction. The TARDIS hummed uneasily, rocking as it rode the vortex with no destination.
"And you, old girl! What're you thinking letting me do this, then? I told you when she was three we had to stop, but you still land me just so… right there to catch her before she makes the decision that turns her right instead of left." He ran his hands through his hair with frustration. "If she goes right then she may stay in school, never work at that bloody shop, and I may never ask her to come along. Don't you understand? If she turns right, I may never have been forced to go back and hold her in that hospital, missing her so much, so very bloody much, that even at one day old she's able to calm these old hearts!"
He slumped to the floor, his back to the control panel, allowing the gentle rocking of his ship to relax the tense fever running through his body.
"There's no one left to tell me to stop - that was her job, y'know? The reapers won't come since she was never meant to die anyway. No one will notice, and I wish they would. I really wish they would because I can't stop, you see? I'm going to ask you to take me to Kiwana III, going to ask you to take me where I can forget, then, and you're going to land me in London and it'll be her 9th birthday. She's going to look so much like herself that it's gonna hurt like a bugger, and I'm still going to be there… going to turn her away from that boyfriend of Jackie's that could ruin everything."
The TARDIS hummed, and he nodded, understanding.
"Oh, you're so very right, sweetheart… it's not manipulation. That nurse was never meant to take her from hospital that night… Willy Peters dad was never meant wake up from his drunken stupor, making that dim boy panic and hit the gas instead of the break… She was never meant to hide from Jackie in that tiny little closet with the shoddy shelf construct - that one holding all those chemicals that would have scarred her for life… and she's certainly not meant to wander off from her birthday party right into that snakes waiting arms. No, old girl, none of this was meant to happen. She was meant to be in the basement of that shop. She was meant to come running with me. Oh, yes, if these trips show nothing other than that - they show me she was meant to be MINE! My incredible, dazzling, unrepentant, jeopardy friendly Rose Tyler… and you're right, my friend, we have to keep going back!"
He paused in his rant, breathing in deeply before climbing to his feet, eyes set with determination.
"Heavens know that if we don't, she's liable to walk out in front a tram the night before we meet." He shook his head, sighing. At least, at the rate he was burning through her life, it wouldn't be long now.
vvvvvvvvvv
She was just as certain at nine as she had been at six that the Doctor was no stranger to her. He met her at the front gate to the Estates, grinning down at her softly; he'd honestly not been expecting the warmth that flowed through his body when her little arms wrapped around his waist and she pressed her face against his stomach in a tight hug. It took every ounce of strength in his body to turn her around and march her right back to her birthday party, leaving her only the gift of another invisible scribble that she begged to be allowed to see.
"Not yet, little love, but soon. I promise you, very soon."
He kissed her forehead lightly and sent her through the door into her Jackie's waiting arms. He straightened, tipping his head at the elder Tyler, offering up a quick explanation that he'd found her wandering alone and insisted that he return her home safely. A quick flash of psychic paper and Jackie was convinced the Doctor was a police officer, only looking out for her daughter's best interests.
Before he left, however, he made mention that she should keep a close eye on her little girl, being as that recently a pedophile had been marked as having moved into the Estates. Jason Biehn was the name, and she should ensure she report any strange incidents to the local coppers immediately.
He never stayed to see the look of shocked recognition at the name cross Jackie's face; just nodded to himself in satisfaction that he'd done the right thing and returned to the TARDIS before the hell he knew was coming descended over the now quiet Estates.
vvvvvvvvvv
At eleven he pulled her out of the river. She and bloody Mickey had been playing too close to the bank, one playful shove and she'd gone in, head first. While the boy tore away, screaming for help at the top of his lungs, the Doctor reached into the cold river water and pulled her tiny body from it's grasp. She coughed and gagged up all the muddy liquid she'd managed to inhale in the short time she'd been drowning, and as he stroked her back comfortingly, another scribble was drawn into her skin.
vvvvvvvvvv
At thirteen he wasn't surprised to have pulled her out from the path of an oncoming tram. A scribble, a quick kiss to her head, and a gentle swat. "Next time, Rose Tyler, try to be more original, hmm?"
vvvvvvvvvv
At fifteen, he scared off a group of young blokes intent on taking advantage of a very drunk, confused girl. As he roared at them in anger, watching as they tore out of the house party and down the block, he picked up his young Rose and carried her quietly away.
Oh, she fought him that time, she did.
"Oi, put me down! They're gone now!"
"I'm taking you home, Rose."
"No way! Mum's gone all night, 'n I barely got through my fifth 'fore you showed up and…"
"And saved you from a lifetime of nightmares?"
"Well, I s'pose, but, they're gone now anyway!"
"And you, little love, need to take better care of yourself. Where's Mickey anyway? Shouldn't he be here taking care of you?"
She laughed at this point, relaxing into his hold as he carried her down the dark London street, back towards the Estates he'd grown to know so well. "Passed out an hour ago, he did. I always could drink him under the table, the daft sod!"
The Doctor shook his head in exasperation. "You've no idea, Rose Tyler, how hard you are to keep alive."
She blinked at him in confusion for a moment, recognition finally making its way through her alcohol fuzzed brain. "Hey, you!"
"Hello."
"I 'member you!" her eyes struggled to bring him into full focus. "Y'always look the same, y'know? Why's that, then?"
He shook his head softly. "Just recognizing me now? After I've carried you six blocks away from all you know? Brilliant, bloody brilliant, Rose. How you ever managed without me, we'll never know, I suppose."
He put her on her feet outside the door to her mum's flat, waiting patiently as she struggled to keep her balance, her hands over his hearts while she stabilized. A quick flick of his wrist and a quiet hum filled the quiet night air - another scribble that only he could see.
"When you can see what I've been writing, Rose, you'll understand it all. I promise. Now, inside with you."
Pulling herself up to her full height, Rose stared him in the eye defiantly. "You said when I was this tall, 'n had blonde hair like my mum's, and wasn't afraid of her anymore, you'd tell me." She waited only a moment for his response before balling up her fist and hitting his chest lightly. "So go on then, tell me!"
He chuckled softly, shaking his head and pressing yet another kiss against her forehead.
"I think, dear Rose, you're still quite afraid of your mum." He pressed his fingers to her lips when she tried to argue. "You've never known when to give up properly, have you then? No, I suppose not. Quite right, you are too. Never mind, it's almost over now, Rose. Very, very soon you'll understand everything."
With that he turned his back on her, satisfied she'd stay in the remainder of the night, and returned to the TARDIS for one last trip to London.
vvvvvvvvvv
He spotted himself about to leave Rose behind, having already given her the option to come with, having already been denied. He adjusted his TARDIS to land six blocks ahead, exactly where his previous regeneration had paused to think out his options when it came down to the bewitching Rose Tyler.
TARDIS faced TARDIS. Doctor faced Doctor.
"No time to explain in detail, but you're going back for her. She will drive you mad, exceedingly so. You'll learn to love her for it. Don't fight it, it really isn't worth the effort, she will get under your skin, get into your mind, and you will live out the rest of your days fighting to make sure your next breath is filled with the scent of her. Whatever you do, you will keep her alive because if I've spent the last 19 years making sure this moment will happen, and you lose her again, I will find a way to come back here and… well, I suppose I can't kill you, but I will find something equally as nasty to do, I swear!"
While the previous Doctor gaped at him in shock, the Doctor pulled a small leather bound journal from his jacket. Ensuring the lock was clasped, he tossed it to the ground at the door to the previous TARDIS.
He nodded at his predecessor, and took a deep breath, stepping through the door to his own TARDIS, knowing that if everything went according to plan, when those doors closed he would no longer exist. He turned around quickly, clearing his throat.
"Good luck, then, don't hurt her, and when you're around her mum, learn to duck, would you?"
"Oi, she doesn't think I'm a complete prat with big ears, then?" The predecessor called out, finally having found his voice.
"Nah, mate, you're the one who puts all this in motion." The Doctor pauses, a sly grin crossing his face. "She does think I'm foxy, though."
The predecessor picked up the journal from the London street, and stepped through the door to his own TARDIS. In unison the two ships dematerialized; one re-emerged at the Powell Estates six blocks up the road, ten minutes earlier. One disappeared into the void.
vvvvvvvvvv
"It's a bit dodgy, this process. You never know what you're gonna end up with."
Rose gasped as the Doctor keeled over in agony, golden light surrounding him.
"Doctor!"
"Stay away!"
She whimpered softly, when the light faded somewhat, she stepped forward. "Doctor, tell me what's going on."
"I absorbed all the energy of the time vortex and no one's meant to do that. Every cell in my body is dying."
Rose stared at him in shock. "But, can't you do something?"
"Yeah, doing it now. Time Lords have this little trick, it's, ah, it's sorta a way of cheatin' death. Except, it means I'm gonna change and I'm not gonna see you again. Not like this. Not with this daft old face. And before I go…"
"Don't say that!" Rose stepped forward, careful still to keep space between her and the Doctor, even in the midst of her own horror.
"Rose," the Doctor spoke through a great deal of pain, offering her a smile, "Before I go, I just wanna tell you, you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic." He grinned at her, emotion making his voice tremble. "And d'you know what? So was I."
They kept each others gaze as they smiled, emotion filling the room, a sense of what could have someday been filling their hearts with sorrow. Rose wasn't sure what to expect next, the Doctor was. Goodbye was written across his face, regret only for the future rather than the past filled him as surely as did the brilliant golden light.
Rose watched in abject horror as the light burst forth, obscuring him from her view. When it finally faded, gone was the fantastic, big eared Doctor she'd come to love so thoroughly and rather in his place there stood a new man, with dark wavy hair, chocolate brown eyes, and a very familiar face.
Rose stared at him in shock, blinking repeatedly, telling herself it couldn't possibly be him.
He looked up at her a little stunned. "Hello," he ran his tongue over his teeth, frowning slightly. "Oh, new teeth, that's weird. So, where was I? Oh, that's right! Barcelona!"
As he flashed her his goofy, and admittedly foxy, grin, Rose could barely pull together a coherent thought.
"But… but you can't be him! You… you just appeared! I mean, you just are now, you couldn't be him then!"
The Doctor smiled at her patiently as she tried to work through the most recent turn of events. "It's all right, I'm still the Doctor. Normally we don't do this sort of thing in front of our companions, I'll have to have a talk with myself for that, then." He grinned again, hoping his cheery outlook would calm her.
"No, no.. I mean I know you're the Doctor, but you can't be *him*. Not if you're just alive now!"
"No, I'm still him. Really."
Frustration finally set in and Rose put her hands to her aching head. "No. You. Cannot. Be. Him. You're not listenin' and I don't have the energy to argue. Just take me to my mum's. Please!"
With that she stormed out of the control room and into her bedroom. Confusion layered through every cell in her body, her head still bursting from the power of the vortex, and complete and utter exhaustion fought with her will to stay awake. Rather than continue her internal struggle, Rose gave up, closing her eyes, and falling into a deep sleep, dreaming a familiar dream where a tall, thin man with wavy brown hair, a foxy grin and warm chocolate eyes chased away every monster that had ever threatened her.
Only when she awoke as the TARDIS jerked to a stop on Earth did she finally come to understand that the man in her dreams, the man that had been there for her throughout her entire life, was ten feet away hugging her Mum.
Her head started pounding all over again.
vvvvvvvvvv
The TARDIS was floating in the Vortex, quietly humming along. Rose had retired to her room, having agreed to continue travelling with the cute brown eyed Doctor. All things had fallen into place… except for one thought niggling at the back of the Doctor's mind.
His very familiar face.
Things change with each regeneration - likes and dislikes, fashion sense, outlooks on certain adventures, but they always remembered what had happened before.
And this Doctor remembered seeing this face a year ago in a London alley. This Doctor also remembered where his predecessor had placed the journal, in a hidden cubby in the wall, far out of Rose's ability to find. Somehow, between the two Doctors, they'd managed to keep Rose's timeline mostly untouched - Doctor 'Familiar Face' keeping her alive and on the right path to the Nestene, Doctor 'Big Ears' keeping it all hidden until the proper regeneration appeared. Oh, and keeping Rose alive through the last year, of course. Good job!
Well, nothing to do but see what his future self had to say.
He settled onto the comfortable bed, leaning up against the headboard, taking in the soft light afforded by the windows the TARDIS created, allowing him to see all lights of the Vortex while he cracked open the leather bound journal. The handwriting seemed familiar, but true to his nature, before he began reading, the Doctor picked up a pen and copied out some of the words inside. Yup, definitely his handwriting.
When did it start? I bloody wonder. I think I fell in love with her while she was swinging over my head, single handedly destroying the Nestene consciousness. This sweet, gorgeous, tiny bit dim British blonde, her own life forfeit as she lands in my arms, laughing and breathing heavy with excitement. Yep, I figure that was probably that for me, but then, you'd know all this already, wouldn't you?
You'd know the heartbreak that shot through me when I believed the Dalek in America had killed her. The rage and quite honestly jealousy that tore me up when I found out she'd gone dancing with Captain Jack, okay, it's just you and me, then, so you know it wasn't just the dancing. He'd rescued her. He'd saved her life, and that was my job. I loved and hated Jack at the same time. All the same, he's gone now, and I do miss him on occasion.
Oh, how about that shot of adrenaline while I was dancing with her, then? No way to chalk that up to anything but love. Alright, alright - it could be lust. But no, where Rose is concerned, it's love, most certainly.
When you're done rolling your eyes and pretending that I've gone daft, I will prove to you this is love, and no lower form of base emotion is enough to answer for it.
If we've done this right, then you should be fresh up from regeneration. Bloody annoying those Sycorax, aren't they? Harriett was a damned disappointment, but don't be too hard on her. She'll come through for you when it counts.
He read the night through, the glasses slipping down his nose as the hours wore on, learning how he'd manipulated the timeline to ensure Rose would always be waiting in that basement where they'd met. Each time he'd gone back for her, he described it like a booster shot - just enough of a dose of Rose to make it through until the next time. The Doctor shook his head, wondering what exactly had gotten into him to have made him not only break, but obliterate all the rules for a single companion… but even at this point, he knew that Rose Tyler was far more than that.
When he turned the last page of the journal, and finally set it upon his night table, the Doctor stared mournfully into the vortex.
"Well, we've certainly put ourselves in quite the position, haven't we, old girl?" he spoke quietly to the TARDIS.
"What do I do then? Do I ignore the crumbs I've left myself and let history play out as it already once has?" He sighed, "She'd never know the difference."
The TARDIS rumbled deeply.
"But we would, yes, there is that. Conundrum…" He paused, working the word over in his mind, "Oooh, conundrum.. Con-un-drum. Conundrum! I do like that one!"
The TARDIS bucked sharply, drawing his attention back to the moment at hand.
"Right, right. Rose. Well, can't have myself going rogue with no good reason, then."
He moved to his feet, decision made. It took only moments to stride from his quarters to Rose's room, but he found himself paused, fist raised to knock. The TARDIS bucked again, forcing him against the door.
"Don't push me, I'm doing it!"
Muttering something about insufferable females, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
vvvvvvvvvv
Really? Pink fluffy bunnies? Who wears, he gaped for the proper word, baby doll pyjamas with pink bunnies on them? He swallowed his discomfort, edging from foot to foot, willing his eyes to be anywhere but on the rodent decorated scrap of silk she wore across her chest; instead he chose to take in the sight of her long legs, very long legs, very very long legs when the silk pyjama bottoms covered less than a quarter of her thigh. That's it, it was settled, she was trying to kill him.
Thoughts of such a pleasurable demise taunted him as he stared down at the girl he'd just awoken from a deep sleep. Her eyes met his and she could feel her heart begin to race - a reaction to his presence? Or life long training to expect a reality altering moment each time she sees his face? Either way, she sat up, offering him a heartfelt smile.
As she moved, the spaghetti strap of her pyjama top slid off her shoulder; a dark mark against her pale flesh brought a grin to the Doctor's face. "Oh, Rose Tyler, do I have something to show you!"
She stretched languidly, loving how his eyes followed her every move. "What's that, then? Burning planets? Yellow skies? Orange oceans? Go on, tell me!"
He grinned, "None of that. Just you."
She paused, half smiling, blinking in confusion. "But I've seen me, Doctor. I've seen me every day for twenty years."
He chuckled, extending down a hand to pull her from the warmth of her bed and into the warmth of his arms. "Not like this you haven't, I guarantee you that."
He led her away from her bed, out of her room and down the corridor to the gardens. One wall had been altered to display a complete floor to ceiling mirror, reflecting the beauty of the room down upon them.
"Good job, old girl," the Doctor muttered quietly, "Never doubted you." The TARDIS hummed happily, gently rocking as she floated in the Vortex, deep in content.
The Doctor and Rose approached the mirror, taking in the image of themselves standing together, their fingers entwined, her head resting against his shoulder. She giggled softly, "You're right, I s'pose. Never seen myself quite like this."
He tapped the back of her head lightly, "Don't mock what you don't yet understand, Rose." With gentle hands he turned her where she stood so that her back was facing the mirrored wall. "Every time you saw me, from the age of six on, you asked me one question, repeatedly. Do you remember it now?"
Her eyes glazed over slightly, her heart beat quickened, her breathing stalled. "What…" she cleared her throat, steadying her voice, "What've you done to my back, 'n why can't I see it?"
"Oh, but you can, my beautiful Rose. We just both had to be ready to see what it said." He leaned down, his lips brushing her ear, sending gentle quivers down her spine. Strong, determined fingers played with the straps of silk on her shoulders before slowly sliding the slips of fabric down, baring her shoulders and back to his view. "And it's beautiful, y'know? The mark on your shoulders was written in time, it's been there all your life, waiting for you to be ready to understand exactly what it means."
She twisted her head, gazing into the mirror, her eyes going wide at the sight of the black ink tattoo running in swirling circles from one shoulder to the next. Her breath caught in her throat as she drank in the sight of the ancient Gallifreyan letters etched into her pale skin. Without warning, her mind barely able to comprehend what she was seeing, a giggle passed her lips, escaping to shatter the air of anticipation that had filled the room.
"Not the expected reaction, but okay?" the Doctor smiled down at her patiently, knowing she didn't yet fully understand what all of this meant.
"Now I know why I had to wait until I wasn't afraid of Mum before I could see this," she giggled, burying her head into the Doctor's chest as she laughed. "Oh, she's gonna 'ate this, she is! 'Rose, I can suffer a load of grief from you, girl - smoking', drinkin', even dropping outta bloody class, but those piercings better not be the step before tattoos. I never struck you a day in your life, sweet'eart, but the day you come 'ere all marked up with ink, well I reckon that'll be the day you'll be wearing Gran's teapot 'cross your 'ead, then.'" Rose laughed harder. "She once told me she'd rather see me elope with a stupid git rather than show up with a tattoo. She's loads against this, my mum."
He lifted a single eyebrow, gentle fingers tracing the swirling letters that stood out against her pale flesh. "Suppose she meant Mickey, in all that," he whispered, wistfully.
She sighed. "Yeah, suppose she did."
Long moments passed as they stood there, watching their reflections, eyes always drawn to the mysterious patterns that seemed to darken before their very eyes.
"How long before you ask, I wonder?" the Doctor mused aloud.
She shrugged, wrapping her arms tight around him. "They're your words, Doctor. I've spent my whole life, my whole entire life, telling you I was ready for you, for this, to understand really. You've gone and spent that time convincing me I wasn't. I won't ask again." The Doctor scoffed, snorted really, and Rose struck his chest lightly. "I won't ask again. How about you tell me when I'm ready, then?"
"Only you can decide if you're ready to hear what it says, Rose," A single word burned his lips, begging to be released.
"Oh, I dunno, Doctor. Seems you put a lotta work into getting me ready for something. This can't be the end of it, right? There's still more, 'n these words, they're gonna matter then?"
The Doctor shrugged, his eyes betraying the truth in Rose's words. "One word,"
"What?"
"It's just one word, Rose."
"Okay, well, that word's gonna matter at some point right? 'N it'll change, what, the entire course of our lives? Am I right, then, Doctor?"
"It matters now too, though."
"As much?"
Hurt flashed through his eyes, and his teeth ground together tightly. "Obviously not."
Rose leaned back, slapping his chest lightly. "Oi, no being mad at me over something I don't get yet."
"Not mad. Not really."
He lowered his lips to the top of her head, kissing her softly.
"Right then. How does a trip to New Earth sound about now?"
She giggled, leaning back and looking up into his sparkling eyes. "Sounds brilliant!" She squeezed him tight, and then turned taking one last wistful look into the mirror. "Um… this won't go away, will it, then? I'll have it there, here on out?"
He grinned and nodded, his eyes betraying his enthusiasm at the thought of that single word displayed for all of time and space to see, etched into the flesh of his beautiful Rose, permanently. It wouldn't be long until she understood, and then it would matter as much to her as it did to him.
vvvvvvvvvv
"Cake?" She approached him on the street, unable to hide her joy and relief at seeing him back in one piece after having lost him for so many long hours. They laughed, together, relishing each other's joy, complete now that they'd found one another once again.
"Ah! Banana! I can't stress this enough, ball bearings you can eat! Masterpiece!" He spoke with his mouth full, knowing that the lack of manners would mean nothing to his beautiful companion. If nothing else, she'd always accepted him for who he was, accepted whatever he did. Now, they fell into each others arms, hugging tightly, laughter still on their lips.
"I thought I'd lost you!" Her voice is slight, the fear plain and present under the obvious display of joy and relief.
"Nah! Not on a night like this! This is a night where lost things are being found!" He loved life, loved being there, loved the night of celebration, and was very near high on the joy of lighting the Olympic Flame. Giddy, in fact, if it was only for a moment.
"What now?"
"We're gonna go to the games! What we came for!"
"Go on, give us a clue. Which events do we do well in?"
Ah, curious Rose., never able to wait for the brilliant finish. A trait of hers he found he loved more dearly with each passing day. "Well, I will tell you this," he teased lightly, "Papau New Guinea surprises everyone in the shot put."
She paused, staring up at him incredulously, "Really, you're joking aren't you?" She grabbed his arm, grinning uncertainly. "Doctor? You serious or are you joking?"
"Wait and see!"
Naturally, their hands slipped together as they walked down the street, eyes up on the brilliant display of fireworks overhead. Deeper thoughts invaded, their expressions both turning serious as contemplation threatened to take over.
"Y'know what? They keep on trying to split us up, but they never ever will."
He didn't release her hand - in fact, his grip tightened on her. He knew what was coming, his future self had made sure of it. No matter how hard he tried to insist Rose would be fine, that the beast in the pit had been lying and she'd not die in battle, that he'd never let her down and would always be there to bring her home, that one thought always screamed front and foremost in his mind. "Never say never ever." His voice was serious, his eyes dark. He knew one mistake, one tiny mistake and all this would be lost very soon.
"Nah, we'll always be okay, you 'n me." She smiled, at first with certainty, but the pregnant pause caused by his silence injected a tremor into her voice, and that smile wavered. "Don't you reckon, Doctor?" Her final question was almost a plea, begging with him to assuage her fears, lay them to rest so she could enjoy this beautiful night.
"There's something in the air, something coming." The darkness invaded his voice, his impending loss weighting heavily on him as he crushed her spirit with so few words.
"What?"
"A storm's approaching."
They continued to watch the fireworks in silence, Rose's heart beating in double time as fear began to smother her. She'd never seen her perfectly fantastic, giddy Doctor descend into such shadows so quickly, and more so than the words of Satan, now, did his words send terror into her veins.
Finally it sank in. Tomorrow, this could all be over.
vvvvvvvvvv
As the bridge to the void closed in error, he watched Rose reach out desperately, doing what he trained her to do - sacrifice for the greater good and all that. He knew she was slipping, he knew she couldn't hold that lever forever; he would scream, she would give in and she would die, and the universe would be saved.
But not today. The dying part that is, not the saving of the universe.
"It's my name, Rose!"
"What?" Distraction bought her another second, one more precious second she was able to forget about the pain in her fingers and hold on.
"On your back, it's my name! My true, Gallifreyan name! The day you were born I marked you as mine, Rose Tyler! I never let go, not for one bloody minute!" His voice was drowning in the sound of the wind, the Cybermen and the Daleks whipping by. He took a deep breath. "This is that moment, Rose! The moment when it all matters, it's right NOW!"
As she began slipping further, finger tips now the only thing holding her back from the mouth of hell, he raised his voice one more time. "It's my name, you daft little girl! In the possessive! You belong to me, and I'm telling you that you CANNOT do this! If you let go now, it'll have been for nothing! NOTHING!" Desperation hinged in his voice, his eyes begging her for one more second, and then just one more after that.
"Oh." She couldn't think, couldn't concentrate on what he was saying, couldn't make sense out of anything except the agony in her hands, the draw of the bridge, and the absolute desperation running through her veins to not leave him.
"Oh? I tell you I practically tattooed 'Property of the Doctor' on your back the day you were born, I tell you this is the moment it's all been leading up to, I tell you that you belong to me and you bloody say, oh?"
"Seriously, I'm about to die here, ain't I, 'n you're picking at my words?" Desperation waged with hurt and anger, and a shot of adrenaline hit her like a rocket. Every muscle in her body tightened, filling with strength. She inched up a tiny bit, hanging on another second, and then another.
He began to laugh hysterically, tears in his eyes as he watched her secure a better grip, feeling the weight of the world begin lifting as she wrapped an arm around the lever, glaring at him through her tears. "Oh, in the name of every God in every universe, Rose Tyler, I love you!" He paused for shock value. "So you hold the fuck on!"
When it was over, when the wind stopped whipping by, the Earth was once again free of Cybermen and Daleks, and the bridge to the Void sealed shut one final time - rather than one body hitting the ground in exhaustion, this time there were two. Two raggedy, mostly human bodies - hair dishevelled, clothing filthy and torn, makeup gone terrifyingly awry - staring at each other across the corridor, eyes beginning to dance, lips beginning to tug upwards, laughter bubbling up and overshadowing everything else that may have once mattered.
"Yeah, that word doesn't suit you, Doctor." Rose giggled, brushing a hand through her hair.
"You sure? I mean, I was in the moment 'n all, could've worked, maybe with a different lead in, then?" His lips twitched, eyes mischievous.
"Yeah, no."
"Not even if I…"
"No."
"You didn't even wait to hear what I was gonna say." Ah, his endearing whine, it had never failed on Rose Tyler - until now.
"Were you gonna say fuck again anywhere in your next sentence?" Her lips twitched again.
"Possibly."
"Then, yeah, no."
He crossed the corridor, reaching down to pull her to her feet, wrapping his arms around her and lowering his lips to her ear. His warm breath sent shivers down her spine, a deep blush staining her cheeks. "When, my beautiful girl, did you start caring about what words I use?"
Through her pain, the flush of her entire body, and the unending buzzing in her ears, Rose flashed him a brilliant, radiant, thousand watt grin that caused both hearts to miss their beats and then pound rapidly - where once there had been a samba, his hearts now beat in time to Lady Gaga, and he loved it. "When those words 're following, Rose Tyler, I love you… I kinda hear a bit more."
He laughed, brushing his lips across her hair, running his hands over her back. "So, you're telling me all this time, all I had to say to get you to listen was I love you, then?"
She cocked an eyebrow, "You telling me all this time you've loved me and not said it? Yeah, that's real fair, that is."
He leaned back, shrugging his shoulders, "All's fair in…"
"Doctor, just kiss me."
"You didn't let me finish!"
"Y'know, for a genius Time Lord, master of anything that makes him sound bloody brilliant, you really are a giant, stupid git!"
The Doctor's jaw dropped in mock shock, he lifted a hand to his left heart and staggered backwards, thumping against the corridor wall. "Why, Rose Tyler… did you just ask me to marry you?" he cocked his head to the side, winking at her. "Well, at least your mum will approve!"
Remembering their conversation of a year prior, Rose flushed pink and laughed until her whole body shook. She opened her arms, wrapping herself into the Doctor's warm body as he came back to her. She buried her face in his chest, breathing in the comforting, enticing, all consuming scent that was purely his. "I s'pose we've come a long way, you 'n me, then?"
"Yeah, I suppose we have."
"Reckon I know a bit more than that daft little girl you picked up two years ago, then?"
"Yeah, I reckon you do."
"Probably best to listen to me sometime, when I've got something important to say, then? Maybe even a brilliant idea or two?"
"Yeah, probably is."
"Doctor?"
"Hmm?" his breath wafted over the top of her head as she lifted her face to look into his timeless eyes.
"I thought I told you to kiss me?"
So he did.
~~~~~Fin.