I just realised that you probably want to know where to find these songs. I'll give you youtube links. Just copy, remove the spaces and so on, you're smart people you should know how this works. This time it's another one of my favorite bands: Three Days Grace and song Over and Over. You'll find it here: http: // www . youtube . com / watch ?v=okC4hw8IPYg
Enjoy!
Over and Over
I feel it every day it's all the same
It brings me down but I'm the one to blame
I've tried everything to get away
So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this?
Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to
It feels like everyday stays the same
It's dragging me down and I can't pull away
So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this?
Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to
Over and over, over and over
You make me fall for you
Over and over, over and over
You don't even try
So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head
I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead
I know what's best for me
But I want you instead
I'll keep on wasting all my time
Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to
Over and over, over and over
You make me fall for you
Over and over, over and over
You don't even try to
--
--
He was losing it again. That damn spider! Why, how, WHY was he still alive? He had been dead! He had made sure of it! He had even bothered to go and especially check that his useless brother had finished the job properly and not leave it half done like the idiot usually did. So how in the seventh hell was that pathetic sorry excuse of a man still alive and breathing?
Sesshoumaru hadn't been quite that agitated in a long time. It took quite a lot to get him into that kind of mood, though apparently all it took from Naraku was to appear in his sight, and Sesshoumaru was already starting to lose his composure. He didn't dare to go back to Jaken and Rin until he was calm again, there was no need to let them suspect something was amiss.
Not that anything was amiss at all. In fact, why should it bother him in the first place? So, Naraku was alive. That didn't mean it should affect him in any way. He had wanted to see him dead and he had. Their grudge had been settled. What Naraku choose to do now was absolutely none of his business.
Now all there was left to do was to stop thinking about him. Seriously.
…
A mission impossible.
Sesshoumaru shook his head vigorously as if trying to force the thoughts out of his head. It didn't really work, as expected.
He sighed.
He really felt like smashing some trees again. It was a very relaxing activity. Unfortunately he had made a promise to Rin that he would not hurt the trees anymore. The little girl was somewhat affectionate towards those living trunks and he was surprisingly weak under a steady, teary, brown gaze.
There weren't even any good rocks he could chop. How unfortunate indeed. Smashing something was always a good way to let out built-up stress. And some other things…
Not those thoughts again damn it!
Promise or not, it was a time to take down some trees. With flashing red eyes Sesshoumaru took out his sword and started hacking up everything that came in his way. After doing that for some time he felt much calmer. He stopped and stood very still, panting heavily.
Okay, that might have gone a bit overboard… He eyed the destruction around him. Yes, definitely an overreaction. Oh well, he should just avoid this place when the girl was with him. No one would ever find out that the great lord had actually lost control over his emotions.
With yet another heavy sigh he put away his sword and rose in the air. It was time to go back to his life. It was time to let go of the spider's shadow. As hard as that might be…
--
--
"My lord! You're back!" Jaken's squealing voice shouted out too loudly.
"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin sang happily and ran to him.
Sesshoumaru couldn't understand how those two could always be so incredibly energetic. It was like all they did was jump around causing chaos and yet they never got tired of doing what they did. And, what was even more surprising, they didn't seem to get tired of following him, even though he was all but nice to them because of them behaving like that.
He gave them a small nod acknowledging their existence and while the two made their usual commotion about his arrival, he walked to a huge tree at the other side of their camp and sat next to it. He felt tired all of a sudden. It had been quite an exhausting couple of days. He closed his eyes and tried to tune out Rin and Jaken, who were arguing about something very irrelevant.
Unfortunately tuning out Jaken's voice was even more impossible of a task than not thinking about Naraku.
"My lord! What on earth happened? We heard that Naraku died. Is that true?"
Sesshoumaru had made a very interesting mental list that was called: Ten Perfect Ways to Kill Jaken. Once again he found himself going through it, trying to think of the best way to do the task. Why must that stupid toad always bring up the things he really, truly shouldn't?
"My lord?"
With a load of self control he didn't know he even possessed in that kind of situation (after all, he had already lost it once that day) he somehow managed to answer through gritted teeth while magining dead toad. "Yes", he said shortly and opened his eyes to see what reaction the answer would get.
Jaken eyes looked like they would pop out of their sockets. "He's dead? Oooh! I knew you would be able to do it, my lord!"
"No."
Jaken looked amusingly confused. "I don't' understand, my lord."
Tell me something I don't know… "Is that so."
"So Naraku, that pest, is now dead?"
"No."
"But, my lord, you just said that he died….?"
"He did."
"So he's dead."
"Unfortunately he isn't"
At this point Rin took part in the confusing conversation. "Sesshoumaru-sama, did you revive him with your sword?"
"I most certainly did not!" Sesshoumaru huffed, looking insulted that someone as much as suggested it. But, as it was, he couldn't actually be angry at the girl and her pretty eyes so he smacked Jaken instead. Then he sighed, again. "I didn't revive him, but one way or the other he is still alive. That is to say", he continued and turned to look at Jaken to emphasize, "he was dead but he isn't anymore."
Rin nodded looking very serious. "I see. That is good then."
Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow questioningly at the girl.
"Well, you see", she explained, "it would be a pity if he was dead."
"And why is that?"
The little girl looked slightly uncomfortable now. "I just…thought that..well…perhaps Sesshoumaru-sama would get bored if he died."
The statement was of course completely innocent. How could a nine-year-old ever come up with the truth of what Sesshoumaru and Naraku had really been up to during all those nights he had been away? (Damn it!) Of course Sesshoumaru realized that the girl had simply meant that now he didn't have anything to chase. Still, the words caused a horrible cold shockwave go down his spine. It was extremely uncomfortable. Even more so for the reason that the reaction was visible to others as well. Jaken and Rin stared at him their eyes wide.
However, Sesshoumaru had developed his skill to avoid people to near perfection. He very gracefully ignored the two and began to actively stare into space. It didn't take long before Jaken and Rin were going on with their usual doings, such as loud arguing.
Sesshoumaru on the other hand kept sitting still like a marble statue, thinking his lonely thoughts. Well, thinking of Naraku actually. He was starting to think that it would be impossible to not to think about him. He should just think as much as there was to think about until the thoughts were thought and he could start thinking about something else entirely.
Sesshoumaru was the first to admit that he was a bit on the cold side. It wasn't that he was unable to feel, just that he didn't like to do so. It caused way too much trouble, so he had practiced self control. It had taken a terribly long time to learn how to put up a façade so strong even he himself believed in it. The only problem was that now he was unable to actually recognize the feelings when they came to him. He didn't have any problems with that before. He didn't even think he would ever need that ability. And yet, now, he was lost.
The urge to see Naraku grew stronger the longer he sat there mulling over his irritating problem. He wasn't sure why he wanted to see him so badly. He most certainly didn't miss him, he was certain of that. It was more like he needed to confirm something. Something that he couldn't quite figure out…
In a sudden impulsive rush he stood up startling Jaken and Rin. "Wait here", he managed to murmur before he was already on his way to…he wasn't too sure where.
He just thought that perhaps actually seeing Naraku would make some sense into things. Perhaps, just perhaps, he could stop obsessing after seeing him. Because that was exactly what he was doing, obsessing. Though, he had thought he would get the spider out of his head after seeing him die and that hadn't worked out quite as he had planned.
He didn't know where he was headed but he was in a hurry. To go somewhere. Anywhere really. He felt like he was running a way, from himself mostly. It annoyed him immensely. Actually, the worst thing was, as he now noticed, that he knew he could resist the urge that echoed inside him. It wouldn't really be that hard for him to stay away from Naraku, after all, he was very good at controlling himself. So, it wasn't that he couldn't stay away from him and stop thinking about him. The problem was that he didn't really want to.
That shocking realization made his head work rationally again. He knew what he needed to do. He quickly changed his course, now knowing exactly where he should go to. He was once again calm and determinant.
He arrived after what felt like forever. In reality his journey had taken mere moments. He looked around feeling slightly nostalgic. It was a place deep in the forest, an unusually small hot spring that didn't look big enough to be bathed in. However, Sesshoumaru knew that two persons could perfectly fit in there. Or perhaps it had just felt like that to him. He hadn't been exactly…rational…at the time.
The demon lord looked up to the sky. Sun was starting to set, it would soon be twilight.
He sat down on a rock and waited, until he saw what he came to see.
--
--
I've actually planned this story all the way to the end... That's something I rarely do, simply because it never works the way I planned, my mind changes too often. Still, this is going to take something like 13 chapters. These two just think way too much. They're not good with love, but neither am I, so be patient. Next chapter will be mainly steamy (hopefully), so be ready! *wink wink*
~Val