Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight!

Bella P.O.V.

I cavorted onto the tour bus, happily prancing around on the seventies style carpet.

"The wombats are coming! The wombats are coming!" I shouted to my circus companions.

"Oh-no! Not again! I had to pay that plumber three hundred dollars to wrench them out of the sink pipes last time!" Carlisle grumbled.

I paused in my frolicking to take out my false teeth.

"Oops. Sorry, I can't talk clearly with my brand spankin new set of chompers." I emphasized this my stuffing my new dentures in Emmett's face.

"I meant to say, the waffles are coming! Esme's is cooking breakfast!" I giggled giddily.

"Wahoo!" Emmett screamed, barreling down the bus. Carlisle sighed in relief.

"Goodness Bella, don't scare me like that. You know how high my blood pressure has been since that whole 'Aro' incident." he whispered.

"Sorry Carlisle." I whispered back. "But at least this means I won't have to pick the chunks of pea soup from last week's dinner out of the gaps between my teeth anymore!" I cried excitedly.

"Gaps? Those things were more like the grand canyon's older, more eroded relatives." Rosalie snickered.

"Oh, thank you Rose!" I smiled, giving her a hug. She looked at me strangely. Sigh. I love compliments.

"Oh! And the mailman didn't mistake me for a beaver or a woodchuck this time!" I clapped merrily.

"What about a Lumberchuck?" Carlisle asked curiously.

"Nope! Besides, everyone knows those don't exist! They went extinct when their teeth rotted from the chemically treated lumber!" I explained. Silly Carlisle.

"Oh yeah." he mused, elegantly stroking his beard. Wait, when did he grow a beard? Rosalie must've taught him the techniques.

"My new pearly whites are wonderful and shiny! And there's no downside at all!" I boasted.

"Well, there is one. We can't use you as a can opener any more." Carlisle sighed.

"Oh, don't worry, I'll get you a can opener for Hula-Robot day." I assured him.

"Wonderful!" he cried.

"Carlisle, where are we?"

"Hmmm. Good question. I think we're somewhere out west." he said with a nod.

"Why do you think that? Because that thirty foot sign says Wild West?" I asked curiously.

"Yes, that, and the fact that Jasper has been outside lassoing a tumble weed for the last three hours."

"He is a bit strange, isn't he." I pondered

"Yes, quite. He and Alice make a good pair."

"Yeah. They both love high heels and sugar plum fairies." I agreed.

"Yup." he answer. And then, suddenly, for seemingly no reason at all, we started to laugh maniacally. It started out as little chuckles and soon turned into a full-blown laughapoluza with the evil villain hand gestures and all. After we'd calmed down and I wiped the drool from my blouse, I set off to find Edward.

"Ohhhhhh Edward!" I called sweetly through the tour bus, tossing handfuls of dried potpourri over my shoulder as I pranced down the hall. I heard Carlisle start to sneeze uncontrollably from behind me. Oops. I forgot he was allergic to potpourri.

"Your medicine is in the cabinet marked 'rabid amphibians'" I called over my shoulder before slipping into Edward's room. I skipped over to him and kissed him sweetly on the cheek.

"Hi Edward!" I grinned.

"Hello Bella!" he grinned back.

"Would you like to see the newest trick I'm working on?" he asked excitedly.

"Of course!" I rolled my eyes at his silliness. Magic is my cup of joe, just like it's his. And speaking of coffee, I could finally drink it with out spraying it through my teeth like a deranged water fountain! Yay for dentures! Edward held up his pink sparkly top hat and screamed the magic words.

"Quilted Northern!" he shouted.

"Wait! Edward! I wasn't touching you, the trick isn't going to go right!" I screamed over the sudden tornado winds sweeping through the room. Edward gulped.

"Uh-oh."

And then everything went black.