CSI: Sanctuary: Chapter 6

"Hey G," Nick greeted, voice dull, shoulders slumped as if the end of the world was near and there was nothing he could do to save anyone or anything.

"Hey." Greg looked up from the bag he was packing full of dirty laundry from his locker to see Nick in the doorway. "You coming in to change, or what?"

Nick only shook his head. Finally, he moved into the room, letting the door shut behind him with a loud snap. He sat down on the bench but didn't open his locker, choosing to stare at the floor instead.

"You ok?" Greg had wanted to ask him this many times, but since Nick never talked much about his problems, he doubted he should. He often wondered if anyone else had bothered to ask the question. Were they truly as blind as he thought, or were they just as unsure about asking as he was?

"Do you... do you still have..." Nick fumbled over his words, and it hurt Greg to see him this way. This wasn't the Nick he knew. This wasn't who Nick was supposed to be. "You know... the one with Johnny Depp?"

"Pirates of the Carribean? Sure, of course I still have it." When Nick didn't say anything else he prompted, "You want to come over and watch it? We can order pizza and beer."

Nick looked up at him, sadness filling his eyes. "Yeah, I'd like that." His voice was quiet.

"Hey Nick!" Warrick pushed into the room. "It's been awhile since we've really gotten a chance to talk man. How're Kristy and Cara doing?"

"Oh, they're doing ok." Nick's lackluster response caught Greg's attention, but obviously not Warrick's, as the other man pulled open his locker and proceeded to rummage through it.

"Oh, Nick, I'm glad I caught you!" Catherine breezed in. "Remind me again when that beautiful little girl's birthday is. I want to make sure I don't forget."

"Don't worry Cath, you've got a few months. It's in May."

"Oh good!"

"I'm outta here. See you guys tonight," Greg said.

Both Warrick and Catherine nodded their goodbyes and he heard Nick mention something about having to get home to his family before the two met in the parking lot.

"You want to follow me home?" Greg asked.

Nick nodded.

"What do you want on your pizza? I'll call in the order before we leave. Beer's already in the fridge."

Nick told him what he wanted and they parted ways.

They arrived at Greg's apartment complex with the pizza delivery guy right on their tail, making their lives that much easier.

Headed up the stairs Nick said, "I hate Healthy Choice dinners."

Greg paused, mid-step, and looked behind him at Nick. But he'd shut his mouth the moment he opened it and was staring at his feet. Filing that little tidbit of information away as part of a much larger problem he was preparing to face with Nick sometime soon, he turned and continued up the stairs to his third floor apartment.

Grabbing two beers from the refrigerator, Greg returned to the livingroom where Nick sat on the couch with the pizza. He chose a seat from which he could easily see Nick, and handed him his beer.

"You want to tell me what's wrong?" Greg hadn't even bothered to get the movie out. Nick looked at him, his eyes wide in surprise.

"Hey, maybe our coworkers are blind, but I can read you like an open book. You haven't been yourself in a long time."

Nick set his pizza back on the paper plate, eyes sliding to the floor, away from Greg. He wrung his hands together. Shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it." There was a tremble in his voice and he hunched his shoulders inward, as if he was protecting himself from the outside world.

If Greg had to pick one word to describe him in that moment, terrified would have been it.

From his days as a police officer, Nick still had a cop's mentality: Don't show faults. Don't show emotions. Look perfect to the world. Hide everything from everyone. Greg was lucky Nick felt comfortable enough with him to let the truth show even just a little.

Not wanting himself included in Nick's outside world, he moved to sit beside him, took his right hand and began rubbing little circles into the back of it.

"You helped me so much last year. When I couldn't do anything for myself, you were there for me. I need to be able to return the favor. Now tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing you can fix."

"How do you know if you won't tell me?"

"I'm living a lie Greg."

"Hey," he spoke softly. "I never forced you into anything. And it's been five months since... I thought you'd made a decision."

"No it's... it's..." Nick paused to swallow a lump in his throat, Adams apple bobbing hard. "Kristy and I. We don't talk much. We don't even sleep together anymore."

"Sounds like something you need to talk to her about."

"But I don't want to."

"Nick, you have to if you want things to work out between you." Greg couldn't believe he was giving marital advice to the man he'd slept with. To the man he'd sleep with again in a split second if he could. His stomach twisted at the thought, his heartbeat going a mile a minute.

"I'm not sure I do."

Greg blinked. What?

"Ever since..." Nick stumbled over his words. "Ever since we..."

But Greg knew what he meant. "What about Cara?"

"I don't want to ruin her life."

Seeing the hurt and the sadness filling Nick's eyes, Greg turned his chin, leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. "Then don't." He was surprised at his own actions. He didn't want to be responsible for breaking a family apart, no matter how much his heart and other parts of his body yearned for Nick. "I just want to see you happy. I know you're the best dad in the entire world, but you need to be happy for your daughter and if no one else is going to do that for you... I'd like that chance." Even as he said it, Greg knew he was telling the truth. He could be happy, as long as Nick was and as long as lives weren't ruined in the process.

"You mean you don't hate me for..."

Greg silenced him by putting a finger to his lips. "You don't hate me for my back. Do you?"

"No." Nick didn't even have to think about it.

"Then there you go."

Nick's stomach rumbled just then and Greg nudged him to finish his pizza.

"Ultimately, though, it's your choice," Greg said later, as he carried their garbage to the can in the kitchen.

Nick followed him with the two empty beer bottles. Greg stopped him, a hand to his chest, as he took the bottles with his free hand and blindly set them on the counter. Stepping close to the other man he pressed their lips together in a warm, sensuous kiss. Nick melted into him, relaxing almost instantly.

He pushed Nick backward in the direction of his bedroom, and succeeded in getting him there without untangling their limbs, separating their lips, or doing any damage to either of them. A shirt disappeared and then another. He didn't want to waste time. The button popped on Nick's jeans, the zipper flew down its teeth, and Greg's hand slipped inside.

He felt the shiver run up Nick's spine, the moment he came in contact with the semi-hard cock, then swallowed the groan of pleasure into his own mouth. Their lips parted and his found the sensitive spot just behind Nick's ear. He sucked the skin hard into his mouth before releasing it and soothed the sting with his tongue.

"Don't... stop... Don't stop," Nick mumbled.

"Won't." Greg moved his hand with expert precision and Nick hardened with record speed at his touch. "Fall back," Greg instructed.

Nick's body tensed.

"Trust me." Running a hand up and down his biceps, he pushed his legs into Nick's, letting him feel the bed right behind him. His other hand squeezed, hard. "I want you comfortable."

Seeing the determination on Nick's face from the corner of his eye, while he nibbled and licked at his earlobe, he felt strong arms wrap around his waist. Muscles relaxed and Nick let himself fall back onto the bed with Greg falling on top of him.

"Mmm, that's much better."

Nick worked on his pants, shoving them down and off. Hands cradled his back, ran over his skin, or what was left of it. He froze as Nick's fingers brushed over the knots of sensitive skin. And before he knew it, he'd been flipped over onto his stomach.

Greg squealed in surprise, praying he didn't sound like a girl, "Nick!"

The response he got was a gentle kiss on his back. His right shoulder blade, to be exact, where the scars were the worst.

"Hmm... What?" Nick asked, sounding preoccupied with something as his lips found another scar.

Greg tried to speak, tried to ask Nick what he was doing, but the words refused to come out. At his last doctor's visit, he'd made the doctor show him what his back looked like. He'd stood with his back to a full length mirror and with the use of a handheld mirror, he saw exactly what the explosion had done to him that couldn't be healed: All of the torn and mangled skin looked like someone had ripped it to shreds and knotted it back together again. His back made him look like a monster, like something from Victor Frankenstein's lair.

Through all his doubts and fears Nick's lips touched against another ugly knot of skin. Greg's eyes burned and watered, tears running to bleed into the pillow beneath his head. Fucking girl. Monster.

Wet lips moved against the back of his left leg and then his right. Nick's hands smoothed up the sides of his torso and turned him over. He began the kisses again, finding the little spots that couldn't be seen unless you were as close to them as he was. When he reached the top of Greg's chest he stopped, leaning over him so he could look into his watery eyes.

"I'm sorry, G. I don't want to have sex with you tonight."

Greg stared up at him, eyes blinking rapidly. Had he heard...? Monster. He'd been right. He was nothing but a monster.

"Don't go!" He began to panic. He didn't want to scare Nick away from him, not when he was working so hard to make Nick happy.

Nick cocked his head to the side. "Have you ever slept with someone without having sex first?"

"No." Why would anyone...

"Do you think you would ever like to?"

Greg thought about what Nick was possibly offering and realized he didn't have to think about it.

"Yes," his voice trembled. "Yes. I would like that very much."

Nick brought his mouth down until their lips came together in another sensual kiss. "Good." He lay down beside him and nudged him into a spooning position, reaching over him to turn off the bedside lamp. In the darkness Nick held him close, his chest pressed against Greg's mangled back.

It felt weird to be held without sex as an intent, even though things had started out that way. And yet it was nice to be needed for something beyond a quick lay in some dirty motel room.

A kiss landed on his shoulder. "You're not a freak... or a monster," Nick whispered.

Eventually Greg fell asleep with Nick's words softly ringing in his head.

The bed was cold. Greg shifted to get closer to Nick's warm body, but each time he moved he couldn't seem to find the heat. Tired of his blind search he opened his eyes to see the bright sunlight creeping in around the edges of his blackout curtains.

The other side of the bed was empty. Nick was gone. Greg's body stilled as he thought about that for a moment. That morning, Nick didn't seem like he wanted to split before they woke up together. He had to remind himself this was new territory for Nick. And he'd have to take things slow for him. Maybe he hadn't been able to sleep and had gotten squeamish about what he was doing.

"You're not a freak... or a monster." Nick hadn't sounded squeamish.

Tears built in his eyes at the memory of each sweet kiss Nick had bestowed on him. It was obvious the other man cared enough about him. Unless his line about not wanting sex was a ploy to get out of a bad situation with the freak. Had he slipped out again? Would he ever come back?

Greg wiped at his eyes. Just incase he was wrong and Nick had only gotten up to go to the bathroom, he slid out from under the covers, put on a pair of boxers, and tiptoed down the hall in his bare feet. The bathroom was dark and empty. From the doorway of the livingroom he could just barely make out the shape of a broad shouldered man sitting in a chair in the equally dark kitchen.

He moved closer. "Nick?"

The man jumped.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

The fear in his heart eased up some.

"No, it's ok," Nick mumbled, sounding tired.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok. Yeah?" Greg rested a hand on Nick's shoulder.

"I'm fine."

"Alright. I take it you like the dark?"

"I guess."

"Well, I'm going back to bed then, but if you need me for anything, you come get me. I'll stay now, if you want me to. But, if you don't, then come back when you're ready."

Greg turned back to the livingroom and paused, his hand still resting on Nick's shoulder. When he saw the other man nod, he gave the shoulder a squeeze and headed back to bed, satisfied that Nick hadn't abandoned all hope yet.

Nick rolled over in bed, enjoying the soft feel of the sheets against his skin and the hand gliding over his arm. Mumbling something unintelligent, even to himself, he opened his eyes to see Greg laying beside him, a sleepy smile on his face.

"I'm glad you came back."

"Mmmm." He relaxed. He could get used to this.

"Sleep well?"

He thought about it, and yeah, he had. He felt more rested than he ever had before and he told Greg just as much

"Good. I'm glad."

He raised his hand to caress Greg's cheek, but it felt weird, even though he was sure he'd done it before. His hand paused in the air and Greg raised his own. Their hands met, fingers intertwining naturally, as if Greg understood his hesitation.

"Thank you for not making me feel useless," Nick whispered.

"When do you feel useless?" Greg leaned on an elbow, his interest piqued at what he'd said.

Why did he have to open his big mouth? He looked away, staring at the dresser across the room. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Then why'd you say it?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It just kinda came out."

"Nick... those sort of things don't just kinda come out. You said it because you needed to."

"No. I..."

"Look, I care about you. I really do. And I'd like to be the person you feel you can trust with anything, no matter what."

Why couldn't this be his life with his wife and daughter? Everything felt perfect right where he was.

When he didn't say anything, Greg soldiered on. "It's Kristy, isn't it?"

"No… can we not…"

"Talk to me, Nick. You'll feel better if you do."

He still didn't say anything, wondering how he was supposed to say what Greg wanted him to.

"When you come into work, you look tense and troubled. But the moment you walk through the door you become extra relaxed, at least until the end of shift. You want to tell me about it?"

Greg really could read him like an open book. Why couldn't Kristy? She was his wife, after all. Maybe if she could, she wouldn't be such a bitch and maybe she'd understand where he came from more often when they argued. Maybe they wouldn't argue so much either.

"I understand work," he said. "I get along with everyone. No one ridicules me because I work hard and get cases solved. I know what I'm doing. I have a purpose."

"What do you mean? You don't know what to do at home?"

"Apparently. Kristy seems to think so."

"You leave the toilet seat up, don't you."

"No! I got all that down. It's other things."

"Other things like what?"

"Everything. Do we have to talk about this?"

"Yes."

"Look. It doesn't matter what it is I do or don't do. That's all I'm gonna say on the matter."

"Ok. Alright. But Nick?" Greg looked at him with huge puppy eyes.

"Yeah?"

"You do know you can come to me with anything you need to talk about, right?" Greg squeezed his hand.

"Yeah, I know… and thanks. Really. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome. Now, tell me something else."

"Greg…"

"Are you happy here?"

"What?"

Greg repeated his question. "If I were to kiss you right now, what would you do?"

"Kiss you back?"

"But would you want to?"

Nick swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat at the mere thought of kissing Greg. His voice sounded strangled when he answered with a "yes."

Curled up in bed with his ereader while the shower ran in the other room, Greg's attention kept wandering to the man who'd shared his bed for most of the night. Nick was certainly good at making out. The kissing had been more than superb. The further they'd gone, the lighter the mood had been, and the happier Nick seemed. Even when he determined it was time to hit the shower and head home, he'd seemed loath to leave the warmth and comfort of the bed and Greg, forcing himself out from under the covers while their lips were still locked together.

A fire brewed in the pit of Greg's stomach, just remembering their last kiss and the needy moan Nick had left him with as he parted for the shower. Hot lips, swollen, hard, yet gentle at the same time, beautiful, sexy... everything he'd ever wanted...

"You have an ereader?"

Greg looked up to see Nick standing before him, skin glistening wet with nothing covering him except a white towel slung low over his hips. He whistled his appreciation, loving the cute blush that crept over Nick's face.

"So? What are you reading?"

"Like Coffee and Doughnuts," he said. "By Elle Parker." Greg flipped to the cover of the book and showed it to Nick. It was a sexy cover with palm trees, ocean water, and two men making out in near silhouette.

"Is that...?"

"Yes, Nick. It is." He let a little smirk cross his features.

"I didn't know they made books about..."

"Gay romance? Of course they do."

Nick sat down on the edge of the bed. "Is it any good?"

"I'm almost finished with this one and I haven't been able to put it down, until you walked in and distracted me, that is. I've got a whole collection of romance novels on here."

"I just never imagined you for the romance type."

"The sex is hot." Greg grinned. "And besides, a lot of these are good cop stories. Lots of action and drama. And not the girly drama either. No one cries over a chipped nail. It's all manly." He let his head fall back against the headboard and stared up at the ceiling for a moment. "God... just imagine... two hot guys wearing suits, or a uniform. Even a tux... damn... too sexy."

Nick stood up and moved about the room to collect his clothes from that morning's partial romp. He threw them on the bed before turning his back to Greg and taking the towel off to get dressed. Greg sighed inwardly. Nick was a hot guy and they'd certainly seen enough of each other naked, but he decided it was best to let it go.

"I'm surprised you would find anything too sexy," Nick said, pulling his pants up over his hips, tucking in his shirt, and zipping up. "Isn't that all you think about?"

If his ereader had been a paperback Greg would have chucked it at him. "No." He meant to sound angry, in a way that would let Nick know he really wasn't. Instead, it came out softer, truer to the truth than he'd meant. "Last night was... nice."

Nick turned to face him. "I agree," he said after studying Greg for awhile, his voice just as soft and meaningful.

Greg eyed him in his tight black t-shirt and jeans, drooling over his biceps which, while not huge by any means, still threatened to tear the arms of the shirt. "You didn't have to get dressed, you know."

"Yes, I did." Nick sat down next to him. "If I go back to work dressed like I was last night someone will notice eventually."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Stokes. Why, I've never seen that shirt before at all!"

"You're just being sarcastic."

"Eh, maybe I am. So what?"

Nick leaned in close. "I like you sarcastic sometimes." He pressed their lips together for a chaste kiss and when he pulled away, their eyes locked. "Thank you. I really enjoyed the day."

Greg reached up to let his fingers slide over the skin of Nick's face. "I'm glad you did. So did I."

A few minutes later and Nick was gone. Greg's small apartment already felt empty without him. He lay in bed for awhile afterward, savoring the chaste kiss they'd shared. It was nothing special, just a simple kiss. One that hadn't lead to wild, passionate sex, but he had to admit that it had felt nice. No pressure. When had he ever been with a guy like that? Someone who wanted more than a one night stand? It hadn't seemed possible until now.

Greg forced himself to remember the reality of the situation: Nick had a family to go home to and as much as he wanted to make him happy twenty-four/seven, he couldn't take Nick away from them. He would just have to learn to care for him and let him go when he needed to.

Nick couldn't help but worry on his way home: Had he done the right thing? How would Greg react?

It had been a stupid move and he knew it. Greg would hate him, might out him to the lab, though he wanted to think Greg wouldn't, because he seemed to genuinely care. And if he cared enough Nick hoped he would look after Cara if the need ever arose.

Struggling out of bed, Greg headed to the kitchen to make his first cup of coffee for the night. Once the coffee maker was beginning to gurgle away, he turned to the refrigerator for something to eat.

That's when he saw it. Nick had taken one of the PostIt notes from beside his phone, scribbled something on it, and stuck it to his fridge, with a magnet on top for added security. Greg moved closer to scrutinize it better. Shocked, he saw it was the phone number for Cara's daycare, along with the address, and the schedule of which parent was picking her up on which days.

Seeing it there was unsettling and a little scary. Nick wasn't the entirely trusting type, and yet, here he was trusting him with the most important part of his life. Greg backed up until his legs hit the chair behind him and he fell into it. This was Nick's way of telling him he was needed. What he couldn't say out loud, he could at least put in writing.

A/N: Like Coffee and Doughnuts was written by Elle Parker. Right now it's only out in ebook form, but if you go to her website at www(dot)elleparker(dot)com you can buy it in PDF form for your laptop if you don't have a Kindle. It's the story of a Private Investigator and his auto mechanic best friend who get stuck on a case together and of course end up falling madly in love with each other, while being chased by bad guys who want them dead. And no, it wasn't out when this chapter takes place, but who cares. I'm sure Greg would love it.