So, what story can I epically fuck up now?

That's right.

CHAMBER OF SECRETS. HELL YEAH.

Oh, and I'm loving the reviews for the first chapter of this story and Twilight.

I love you all! In a friendly way... I guess?

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Do I look like JK Rowling to you?

Didn't think so.

AN- I had planned to have this up earlier, really, but, some things are currently going to hell. HOWEVER, since I'm in a somewhat good/Sadistic mood, here we go~

Harry James Potter has been going to Hogwarts for one year now, With the brainy Hermione and the... the... the Ron. Oh, and don't forget Dumbledore.

Anyway, so Harry goes back to Hogwarts again for his second year in Witchcraft and Wizardry!

However, in his stupidity, he somehow manages to miss the train because he and Ron couldn't walk through a wall. So instead they take a flying car and they're like "Oh, let us catch the train this way!" So, they go on their merry way to the Hogwarts school.

Numerous hours later, they arrive at school after almost being flattened, Harry falling out of a car, being mercilessly PWNED by a tree, breaking Ron's wand and running into the Janitor. Named Filch. Not that anyone cares.

ANYWAY, so they get to school, and then Snapes' all like "YOU HAVE BEEN SEEN BY SEVEN MUGGLES, BITCHES!" …. Well, basically. And he's got this epic newspaper that has moving pictures and shit. Then McGonagall come in and she's like "WO, back off there Professor Greasy! My students! Rawr!" and then she's all like "go back to the common room." and Harry and Ron are just like "AWESOOOOOME." Ron also get's a yelling letter from his mom that basically said "OH HELL NO YOU DIDNT TAKE MY DAMN CAR!", much to the amusement of the ENTIRE school.

Pretty soon Harry starts hearing some weird shit in another language, and Hermione's like "Oh, that's not normal!" (no SHIT.) and then Ron's like "whoa." with his broken wand. Then, one day, people start mysteriously getting frozen (the technical word is petrified, but who gives a shit?) and Filch-Janitor is like "I'LL GET YOU ROTTEN KIDS!" Just like the stereotypical old man he is. Oh, ans his kitty get's frozen too.

So pretty soon the trio even find these huge, weird letters on walls saying creepy shit like "you will die in seven days" and "muffins are just ugly cupcakes". So the three of them decide to follow a trail of spiders. Now, Ron is highly arachnophobic, so at first he was like "WTF I AINT FOLLOWIN' NO SPIDERS!" And Harry's like "LIKE HELL YOU WONT! Move it bitch." and so they follow these tiny spiders into the forest where there's this HUGE ASS spider that tries to eat them. They are then rescued by the flying car and fly back to Hogwarts. Then the car leaves and is never seen again.

As the year goes on, more and more people get petrified, Draco calls Hermione a mud-blood (seriously, that is so stupid. No one had Blood made of mud...) and she goes all pissed off and Ron gets hexed by himself and throws up small, slimy creatures known as slugs.

EVENTUALLY, AFTER FOUR HOURS OF TORTURE, Harry finally gets into this weird, underground place known as the chamber of secrets, which happens to be under the sinks in the bathroom. Figures.

Anyway, so Harry, Ron and a weird ass teacher known as Lockehart (which is SUCH a video game name...) go into this weird chamber to find Tom Marvelo Riddle, who somehow has his name change into I Am Lord Voldemort or some such shit. Anyway, so Tom's all like "YOU GONNA DIE" and Harry's like "BITCH, please, you cant kill me, I killed Voldemort." So then this Epic battle between Harry and a HUGE ASS snake happens, and Harry wins. Then Tom's all like "NOES!" and Harry find a diary (and Ginny, but we'll get to her later) and starts STABBING THE HELL OUT OF IT with a tooth instead of the SWORD he was given by some weird flying bird. Then Tom breaks into tiny little pieces, never to be seen again.

And of course, late as always, Harry ends up in Dumbledore's office, and he's all like "Ah, good to see you Jerry,"

"Harry, Sir."

"Harry, very pleasant. You do look splendid."

"Sir, I just killed Lord Voldemort and his snake..."

"Fantastic! How'd it go?"

"It sucked you old moron!"

"what sucked?"

"what?"

"what?"

And Harry face-palms.

YES, ONCE AGAIN, I AM MISSING VITAL INFO. THIS IS GOOD. TRUST ME. I love reviews, my current Favorite is JustineXD for her EPIC review on part one~